Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Darling, I want to destroy you
‘And his so incredibly cute. His smile just makes me melt inside.’
‘So why aren’t you with him?’
‘Well, his married.’
‘So, who cares, go in for the kill.’ I was at my best friend Courtney’s house. We hardly get to see each other but when we do, it’s one big massive catch up session. Courtney has been my best friend since I could walk. She is only a year young than me and is what you would call a real life Barbie and she was going out with a real life Ken. She is exactly the type of person I despise and promise myself to never befriend, but we had been friends for so long that I felt nothing but love for her.
‘Are you crazy Court? I am not ruining a marriage besides I am in a relationship.’
‘Oh yes, Damien, how’s that going?’ she asked as she took a sip from her wine glass.
‘He cut himself at work, and had to go to hospital.’
‘Please tell me cut his dick off.’ We both burst out laughing. We moved from the patio out onto the pool deck relaxing in the banana lounges. ‘Why do you put up with him Vee? I would of given him up ages ago.’
‘I’m scared of being alone. God the last boyfriend I had was Paul and that was what 5 years ago. I have to hold onto this one.’
‘Even though his been caught with another chick?’ Courtney sat up straight and removed her sunglasses waiting for a reply.
‘Firstly, it was Gerard’s word against Damien’s and well I do love him.’
‘Who are you fooling Vee, cause you sure as hell ain’t fooling me.’ Court was right. Like always. ‘And I don’t think you love him. I think you love Gerard.’
‘I don’t love Gerard, that’s impossible.’
‘Well that’s not what your eyes tell me. Enough of this boy crap, are you jumping in?’ We spent the rest of the afternoon swimming and sipping wine. Courtney kept pushing me to break up with Damien and made me talk constantly about Gerard. She wanted to know every little detail about him and kept telling me to go in for ‘the kill’ as she put it.
A few weeks had gone by and things have settled. I’m still with Damien and crushing majorly on Gerard at the same time. Damien eventually ended up moving in with me and surprisingly it was going rather well. I made sure that he still had his own bedroom, but we would always find ourselves in my bed at the end of the night. His been looking after me since his moved in. He cooks me dinner, does the grocery shopping and even tends to my cats when the need some loving. Shenanigans actually became very fond him and followed him everywhere throughout the house.
I told Gerard that Damien moved in and well he didn’t say anything. In fact he didn’t react at all. The only thing he said to me as we left work that day was ’Your going to get hurt, and it breaks my heart to know that.’ That was one of the few conversation's I didn’t mention to Damien, otherwise every time when I came home I would tell Damien everything Gerard and I got up to.
‘Hey bub, can I ask you a question?’ Damien grabbed a hold of my hand as I walked past him and pulled me down to sit on the couch next to him.
‘Yeah sure hun. What’s up?’
‘Look I’m just going to come out with it and I want an honest answer.’ Panic began to flow through my body. ’Are you and Gerard you know, fucking?’ The panic dissolved away as soon as it appeared.
‘Babe… No… of course not. That’s just wrong.’
‘Are you sure. I mean you talk an awful lot about him. And well the other night, you moaned his name in you sleep.’ Oh fuck! My cheeks turned scarlet.
‘Well, you wanted honesty. I have dreamt about sleeping with him, but no we have not and will never sleep with each other, or fuck, as you put it.’
‘I’m just concerned, because you spend a lot of time together at work. All that comes out of your mouth when you are at home is Gerard this and Gerard that. If you are with him you can tell me.’ This was now getting frustrating.
‘Damien, honey, baby, I love you. I am with you and with you only. I know I talk about Gerard a lot but I am with him all day at work but he is only a workmate, that’s it, nothing more, nothing less. If you want I will stop talking about him.’
He let go of my hand and leaned back against the couch. ’Nah bub, you can talk about him, I don’t mind as long as he is looking after you and not cracking onto that’s fine with me.’
I got up off the couch and lay down on my bed. ’…as long as he is looking after you and not cracking onto…’ If only Damien truly did know what Gerard and I said to each other when there was no one around. Just thinking back to this morning. We were having our coffee on break and I accidentally spilt some on my legs. ’Oh fuck me.’ I cried out aloud.
‘What here? Right now? Are you sure?’ I looked over at Gerard and realised what he was saying. He had a smirk on his face.
‘Nah not in front of all these people. I’m not an exhibitionist. How about you meet me in room 1813 in 20 minutes?’
‘Oh during shift, that’s a little naughty.’ I moved closer to him so our legs were touching and whispered into his ear ‘Well if you meet me there, maybe you will see how naughty I can be.’ Gerard looked me up and down and let out a low whistle.
‘God dam it Vee. If I wasn’t married, I would be meeting you up in that room. You are one amazing chick.’ I pushed away from him so there was a gap between us again.
‘Ah well what can I say, I’m one in a million.’ He pulled me back next to him again, and left his arm around my shoulders.
‘Imagine, if your parents got into the mood a few years earlier, you and I could be going for gold right now.’ We both burst out laughing at that thought.
‘Do you ever feel guilty about the things we say to one another?’
‘Nah not with you Vee, coz I know you know its all just harmless fun, and I trust you.’
‘Woah you trust me?’ I was shocked by this new revelation.
‘Yeah why wouldn’t I trust you? You are a good friend to me and I respect you a lot.’
‘And you respect me to? What did I do to deserve such an honour from yourself?’
‘Well…’ He lit up a cigarette. ‘Remember when I said to you that there is a reason why you are in my life.’
‘Yeah… oh did you work out why?’
‘No I haven’t worked that out, but I know that there is a reason as to…’
‘How cool would if be if we are like superheros and didn’t know it and the reason why our lives clashed is to discover each other’s super powers!’ I started giggling at my thought and soon enough he joined in to.
‘That’s why I love you Vee. You have a crazy mind, and a pure heart. No one should ever be cruel to you.’
He got off the bench and started walking away as I sat stunned. ‘Vee… Virginia… are you coming? Break time is over!’ I eventually came crashing down to earth. He said he loved me. Well I know he doesn’t love me, love me, but hearing those words come out of his mouth just made my day, hell it made my year.
As I laid in on my bed sheets a smile spread across my face. I don’t ever want to forget that moment. And to make sure I don’t I’ll keep playing it over and over in my mind.
‘So why aren’t you with him?’
‘Well, his married.’
‘So, who cares, go in for the kill.’ I was at my best friend Courtney’s house. We hardly get to see each other but when we do, it’s one big massive catch up session. Courtney has been my best friend since I could walk. She is only a year young than me and is what you would call a real life Barbie and she was going out with a real life Ken. She is exactly the type of person I despise and promise myself to never befriend, but we had been friends for so long that I felt nothing but love for her.
‘Are you crazy Court? I am not ruining a marriage besides I am in a relationship.’
‘Oh yes, Damien, how’s that going?’ she asked as she took a sip from her wine glass.
‘He cut himself at work, and had to go to hospital.’
‘Please tell me cut his dick off.’ We both burst out laughing. We moved from the patio out onto the pool deck relaxing in the banana lounges. ‘Why do you put up with him Vee? I would of given him up ages ago.’
‘I’m scared of being alone. God the last boyfriend I had was Paul and that was what 5 years ago. I have to hold onto this one.’
‘Even though his been caught with another chick?’ Courtney sat up straight and removed her sunglasses waiting for a reply.
‘Firstly, it was Gerard’s word against Damien’s and well I do love him.’
‘Who are you fooling Vee, cause you sure as hell ain’t fooling me.’ Court was right. Like always. ‘And I don’t think you love him. I think you love Gerard.’
‘I don’t love Gerard, that’s impossible.’
‘Well that’s not what your eyes tell me. Enough of this boy crap, are you jumping in?’ We spent the rest of the afternoon swimming and sipping wine. Courtney kept pushing me to break up with Damien and made me talk constantly about Gerard. She wanted to know every little detail about him and kept telling me to go in for ‘the kill’ as she put it.
A few weeks had gone by and things have settled. I’m still with Damien and crushing majorly on Gerard at the same time. Damien eventually ended up moving in with me and surprisingly it was going rather well. I made sure that he still had his own bedroom, but we would always find ourselves in my bed at the end of the night. His been looking after me since his moved in. He cooks me dinner, does the grocery shopping and even tends to my cats when the need some loving. Shenanigans actually became very fond him and followed him everywhere throughout the house.
I told Gerard that Damien moved in and well he didn’t say anything. In fact he didn’t react at all. The only thing he said to me as we left work that day was ’Your going to get hurt, and it breaks my heart to know that.’ That was one of the few conversation's I didn’t mention to Damien, otherwise every time when I came home I would tell Damien everything Gerard and I got up to.
‘Hey bub, can I ask you a question?’ Damien grabbed a hold of my hand as I walked past him and pulled me down to sit on the couch next to him.
‘Yeah sure hun. What’s up?’
‘Look I’m just going to come out with it and I want an honest answer.’ Panic began to flow through my body. ’Are you and Gerard you know, fucking?’ The panic dissolved away as soon as it appeared.
‘Babe… No… of course not. That’s just wrong.’
‘Are you sure. I mean you talk an awful lot about him. And well the other night, you moaned his name in you sleep.’ Oh fuck! My cheeks turned scarlet.
‘Well, you wanted honesty. I have dreamt about sleeping with him, but no we have not and will never sleep with each other, or fuck, as you put it.’
‘I’m just concerned, because you spend a lot of time together at work. All that comes out of your mouth when you are at home is Gerard this and Gerard that. If you are with him you can tell me.’ This was now getting frustrating.
‘Damien, honey, baby, I love you. I am with you and with you only. I know I talk about Gerard a lot but I am with him all day at work but he is only a workmate, that’s it, nothing more, nothing less. If you want I will stop talking about him.’
He let go of my hand and leaned back against the couch. ’Nah bub, you can talk about him, I don’t mind as long as he is looking after you and not cracking onto that’s fine with me.’
I got up off the couch and lay down on my bed. ’…as long as he is looking after you and not cracking onto…’ If only Damien truly did know what Gerard and I said to each other when there was no one around. Just thinking back to this morning. We were having our coffee on break and I accidentally spilt some on my legs. ’Oh fuck me.’ I cried out aloud.
‘What here? Right now? Are you sure?’ I looked over at Gerard and realised what he was saying. He had a smirk on his face.
‘Nah not in front of all these people. I’m not an exhibitionist. How about you meet me in room 1813 in 20 minutes?’
‘Oh during shift, that’s a little naughty.’ I moved closer to him so our legs were touching and whispered into his ear ‘Well if you meet me there, maybe you will see how naughty I can be.’ Gerard looked me up and down and let out a low whistle.
‘God dam it Vee. If I wasn’t married, I would be meeting you up in that room. You are one amazing chick.’ I pushed away from him so there was a gap between us again.
‘Ah well what can I say, I’m one in a million.’ He pulled me back next to him again, and left his arm around my shoulders.
‘Imagine, if your parents got into the mood a few years earlier, you and I could be going for gold right now.’ We both burst out laughing at that thought.
‘Do you ever feel guilty about the things we say to one another?’
‘Nah not with you Vee, coz I know you know its all just harmless fun, and I trust you.’
‘Woah you trust me?’ I was shocked by this new revelation.
‘Yeah why wouldn’t I trust you? You are a good friend to me and I respect you a lot.’
‘And you respect me to? What did I do to deserve such an honour from yourself?’
‘Well…’ He lit up a cigarette. ‘Remember when I said to you that there is a reason why you are in my life.’
‘Yeah… oh did you work out why?’
‘No I haven’t worked that out, but I know that there is a reason as to…’
‘How cool would if be if we are like superheros and didn’t know it and the reason why our lives clashed is to discover each other’s super powers!’ I started giggling at my thought and soon enough he joined in to.
‘That’s why I love you Vee. You have a crazy mind, and a pure heart. No one should ever be cruel to you.’
He got off the bench and started walking away as I sat stunned. ‘Vee… Virginia… are you coming? Break time is over!’ I eventually came crashing down to earth. He said he loved me. Well I know he doesn’t love me, love me, but hearing those words come out of his mouth just made my day, hell it made my year.
As I laid in on my bed sheets a smile spread across my face. I don’t ever want to forget that moment. And to make sure I don’t I’ll keep playing it over and over in my mind.
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