FicWad

Apprehensively, I sat down on the edge of the couch and twisted my hands nervously in my lap. My mother sat down on the chair across from the couch and fixed me with a steely stare. I hated these long silences more than anything. I would much have her scream and yell at me. Without removing my gaze from the floor, I whispered, "Uh...is there something you need, mother?"
"You could say that," my mom replied, struggling to keep her fury under control. "First of all, I want to say that I forbid you from seeing Izzy Stradlin anymore." I started to protest, but my mom held up her hand to cut me off, "No protesting. This is our house and as long as you live under my roof, you're going to have to abide by my rules. Do you hear me, young lady?"
My temper was easily rekindled by my mom's statement. She wanted me to stop seeing Izzy? She had to be mad. The more time I spent with Izzy, the more in love with him I felt. Furiously, I replied, "You can't really mean that. Why in the world would you want me to stop seeing a man who actually cares for me? He's different than all the rest, mom."
My mom let out a sadistic laugh, "You actually believe that he cares for you? Well then, you've got a lot to learn. Any man who tries to force you into having sex before you're married is just using you. He doesn't really care for you, Amy. Get that through your thick brain, alright?" I felt like picking up the glass figurine on the coffee table in front of me and throwing it at my mother.
"You just don't get it, do you?" I snapped venomously, "Izzy isn't forcing me to do anything with him for your information. Besides, we never had sex and that's not the reason why Izzy's dating me." My mom looked down at me condescendingly, "You were just about to let him fuck you, weren't you? I'm grateful I stepped in when I did."
"Geez, mom, stop assuming things!" I yelled loudly and jumped up from the couch. "We weren't going to do anything, okay? Happy now?" My mom stood up too so we were looking each other right in the eye, "Oh, come one, Amy! Don't give me this. Once you got your adrenaline racing, you wouldn't have been able to resist making love to this guy that you hardly know."
I decided that I needed to get out of the house. I was an adult and I didn't need to listen to my mother lecture me like this. Tossing my hair over one shoulder, I stepped away from my mother, "Mom, you don't know my situation with Izzy. There's really no need to give me all this shit." My mom's eyes widened as I cussed at her.
Suddenly, an idea popped into my head. I switched directions and instead of going out the door, started upstairs. My mom called after me, "Just where are you going? I'm not done with you yet." I paused on the stairs and placed a mature look on my face as I replied smoothly, "I need to pack up my stuff. I'm moving out."
"What?" my mom gasped in disbelief. "You don't have anywhere to go! Don't be ridiculous." A sly smile flickered across my lips as I answered her steadily, "Actually, I do have somewhere to go. I'm moving in with Izzy." This wasn't actually true, but I needed my mom to still let Izzy in the house and the only way to do that was to lie.
My mom stood frozen in the living room, "Oh...alright! You can keep dating that guy as long as you just stay here. But remember, don't say I didn't warn you if you get your heart broken." Yes, victory!
Trying not to seem too excited, I nodded seriously and replied, "Yes, I know. Thanks mom!" Before she could change her mind, I turned and bolted up the stairs to my bedroom. I was already missing Izzy. It was as if he was becoming a part of me. My anger at him earlier had quickly dissolved. I could be seduced very easily. That was something I would pay for later on.



The next day, I was sitting at the living room table, completely bored. My mother was still angry and wasn't speaking to me. It was nice to be left alone, but I was started to get rather lonely. I picked up my phone and decided to call Tommy. Maybe he would want to do something with me. We could see a movie, have lunch, or just hang out. I missed those alone times with Tommy.
After punching in Tommy's phone number, I held the phone to my ear and waited for a reply. After only two rings, Tommy's cheerful voice answer me, "Hello, this is Tommy." Happy to hear a familiar voice, I replied back, "Hey Tommy! Do you want to do something with me this afternoon? I'm so bored."
"Aw, I'm sorry, Amy," Tommy apologized. My heart fell immediately and my spirits dampened. I had really been hoping that Tommy was available. Tommy continued, "I'd love to go, it's just that Candice and I are at a party at Roy Thomas Baker's house. We've been having some fun doing...uh...stuff."
My suspicious immediately piqued by the way Tommy had finished his last sentence. Feeling nosy, I insisted, "What kind of stuff? You're not doing drugs, are you?" There was a long, guilty silence on the other end of the phone. I wanted to reprimand Tommy, but didn't have the heart to. Lectures weren't fun. I had learned that by listening to my mom's rants. Besides, if Tommy wanted to take drugs, it was his choice. I couldn't force him from taking them.
Instead, I changed the subject, "So where's Nikki? Maybe he could hang out with me." There was a little pause, then Tommy answered apologetically, "Actually, Nikki's at the party too. He's in the jacuzzi. Why don't you go hang out with Axl or Izzy or someone?" My heart throbbed at the mention of Izzy, "I would, but they live too far away. I guess I'll just have to spend the afternoon alone. By the way, who is this Roy Thomas Baker person? Is he a friend of yours or something?"
"Yeah, you could say that," Tommy answered distractedly. I was started to feel a little put out, "Why wasn't I invited to the party?" Tommy laughed at me from the other side of the phone, "For obvious reasons, Amy! You don't even know Roy Thomas Baker!" I frowned and added, "And you do know him?"
"Uh...not exactly, but Nikki knows him and he invited Candice and me along," Tommy explained. My eyes narrowed; why had Nikki invited Candice and Tommy to the party, but not me? I wanted to have some fun too! I voiced my suspicions to Tommy, "Hey Tommy, why don't you think Nikki invited me? I would've wanted to go."
"No, you wouldn't have," Tommy replied firmly. "They wouldn't let a girl like you at this party. Besides, I'm the only one Nikki invited. I have no idea what Vince and Mick are up to. Why don't you try hanging out with Mick if you're bored? Or you could call Izzy. I know how much you like to blab on the phone to him."
"Nah, it's too awkward between Mick and me," I replied sadly. Ever since our breakup, we had avoided spending time alone together. It had hurt at first, but now I was use to it. Tommy replied in an understanding voice, "I see. He has been pretty lonely lately. The breakup with Linda really seemed to hurt him. Anyways, what about calling Izzy?"
It was a tempting thought, but I decided against it. I didn't want to make myself look too desperate by calling Izzy five times a day. After all, if I didn't talk to him very much on the phone, he'd be more anxious to see me in real life soon. I answered Tommy, "I don't think so. Don't worry about me. I'll figure something out to do. Have a nice time at the party, okay?"
"Yeah, we will. Thanks, Amy. I hope you can find something to do!" Tommy's last words rang in my ear before I flicked the phone shut and slumped back down on the hard, wooden chair in the kitchen. A magazine on the kitchen table caught my eye and I began lazily flipping through it. There were a few good beauty tips and hints on how to get the "smoky eye look" with makeup.
Without warning, our doorbell rang twice in a row. We weren't expecting anyone today. Who could it be? I knew I should probably get up from my chair and open the door, but I was feeling lackadaisical. My mom could get the door for once. The doorbell rang a third time. My mom stomped through the kitchen and gave me a dirty look as she tromped through the living room to the door. I made a face at her behind my back. She clearly hadn't forgiven me for my "offenses" yesterday.
In the distance, I heard the door click open and then heard my mom say in a surprised but excited tone, "Why, hello there! It's great to see you. Come on in!" My heart sank. I was hoping it had been one of my friends coming to keep me company. Unfortunately, it sounded like it was one of my mom's friends instead. After all, my mom would never tell any of my friends that it was great to see them. I immersed myself into the magazine again and ignored the conversation from the living room.
"Amy!" my mom's shrill voice called. "Someone's here to see you!" This was odd. Who could be here to see me? Completely bewildered, I laid my magazine aside and curiously stepped inside the living room. Mick was standing stiffly next to my mom and looking rather uncomfortable. When he saw me, he gave a tentative little smile.
I smiled back at him and greeted, "Hey Mick! I didn't expect to see you here today. What's up?" Before my got a chance to answer, my mom started backing out of the room, "I think I'll leave you two to talk. I was about to go out to pick up some groceries anyways. Have a nice time! I'm glad you popped by, Mick. Amy really needs a guy in her life."
I could feel my face heat up as my mom disappeared through the door. Sometimes she could be so audacious. She had no right to go blabbing that I needed a boyfriend when I already had a lover. Had she forgotten that Mick and I had broken up or something? Feeling embarrassed, I apologized to Mick, "Sorry about mom. Anyways, how have you been?"
Mick's smile grew a little bit larger, but he still looked distressed, "It's okay. Your mom is actually pretty nice. I've been okay. How about you?" I thought over yesterday ruefully. The lecture from my mom hadn't exactly been pleasurable and finding out that Izzy was attracted to Beth Lynn was rather heartbreaking.
Honestly, I replied, "Yesterday kind of sucked. I've just been hanging around the house today. Not much to do. So what did you come here to talk to me about, Mick? I'm sure there's got to be a reason why you stopped by." Mick fidgeted and avoided my eyes. I was starting to get an ominous feeling. Whatever he had to tell me couldn't be very good.
Finally, Mick broke the silence and started, "You remember that date we went on to the 7th Veil, don't you?" I froze and looked up at Mick very slowly. Why in the world was he bringing up our past dates? We had both agreed not to mention our past relationship and just be friends for the good of everyone.
"Uh, yeah, I remember it," I managed to say. Mick looked even more uncomfortable as he continued, "Well, I just wanted to tell you that it was the best date I've ever been on. Much better than my dates with Linda. You're an amazing girl, Amy. You're kind, romantic, and gentle. Any guy would be lucky to have you."
Uh oh. This was going in a bad direction. I had a feeling that Mick was going to ask me out again. I pretended to be flattered by his words and replied succinctly, "I don't think that's true exactly, Mick, but thanks for saying it." Mick grasped my hands and leaned toward me with a serious expression in his eyes, "But it is true, Amy! I'm sorry that I ever thought otherwise. I guess I was kind of blinded before. Linda helped open my eyes. She showed me that you are much more than a normal girl."
Now it was my turn to start fidgeting and avoiding Mick's eye. I wished he would get straight to the point. I wasn't sure how to respond to all this gallantry. Mick continued, "See, the thing is, I'm very sorry I broke up with you. I can now see that it was pretty stupid. After all, Axl is with Erin. The kiss you gave him didn't really mean anything."
That comment hurt. What was Mick thinking? That I just went around randomly kissing guys on the lips? That was one hundred percent untrue. I only kissed men I had strong feelings for. I had kissed Axl because I had feelings for him and not for some other stupid reason. Mick sensed that he had offended me because he quickly hurried onwards, "That's not what I meant exactly. I just meant to say that I'm sorry for what I did and I'm begging for another chance with you."
I sat paralyzed and stared at Mick. He had leaned in closer to me and was searching my eyes compellingly. My breath started coming in short gasps. I met Mick's eyes and slowly leaned in towards him. We were merely inches apart and our lips were less than an inch apart. I could easily kiss him if I wanted to. Did I want to kiss him? I remember our kisses from the night at the 7th Veil. They had been nice and a little extra affection never hurt anyone.
But before I was able to make my mind up on what to do, Mick took the initiative. He closed the last gap between us and lightly pressed his lips onto mine. Our kiss was so soft that it felt like the touch of a butterfly brushing against my lip. I closed my eyes with satisfaction and enjoyed the rush of feelings start pounding through my veins.
Mick pulled me closer to him and wrapped an arm tightly around my waist. He was like a little boy who had been deprived of love. I knew Mick was feeling this way because of Linda though. She had been so cruel in breaking up with him and his heart was aching. I was the only one who could put back together his broken heart.
We embraced on the couch for a long time, both soaking up each other's comfort. Suddenly, I jerked out of my dreamy state. What the fuck did I think I was doing? Annoyed at myself, I wrenched free of Mick's arms and stumbled backwards. Mick let me go with an injured look in his eyes. He apologized softly, "I'm sorry, Amy. I didn't mean to make a move on you..."
"No, no, it's not your fault," I replied quickly. The last thing I wanted to do was to offend Mick further. But there was no excuse for cheating. I had seen how cheating had broken apart Beth Lynn and Vince, Nikki and me, and even Mick and me in the past. I was being such a hypocrite. Yesterday, I had been upset at Izzy for just looking at Beth Lynn. And now today here I was, kissing Mick and resting in his arms without giving a shit about anyone's feelings but mine.
"Is something wrong, Amy?" Mick asked sorrowfully. "Did I do something? I never meant to hurt you. I guess this was all a mistake." Mick clearly didn't see why I was upset. Unfortunately, I was going to have to explain it to him or else he was going to think he had done something to make me react in the way I had.
"It's not your fault, Mick, but I can't have two boyfriends. You know that and I know that," I stated concisely. My conscious was already guilt-stricken and my stomach was twisting in knots. Mick looked at me in surprise, "What? You're already dating someone?" I nodded, "Yeah, I'm with Izzy, remember?"
Mick's face fell and he slowly nodded, "Oh. I wasn't sure if he was serious about you or not though." My eyes narrowed. What was that suppose to mean? I intended to find out, "What do you mean by 'you aren't sure if Izzy is serious about me or not'?"
Mick retreated with one look at my angry expression and said lightly, "Oh...nothing. I don't know why I said that. Just forget it." I knew better than to press the subject and the two of us just sat in silence. Finally, Mick attempted to start up a friendly conversation, "Do you know where Tommy and Nikki are?"
"Yeah, they're at some party at Roy Thomas Baker's house." Feeling a little resentful, I added, "I wasn't invited." Mick's eyes widened at my words and he jumped to his feet, "They're at Roy's party? I drove past his house on the way here. It was looking pretty wild over there. I think we ought to go rescue them before they get into too much trouble. Will you come with me, Amy?"
I hesitated. I didn't really want to spend any more time alone with Mick. I had just displayed how weak I was when it came to guys with pretty faces. On the other hand, I didn't want to mope the house anymore with my mother shooting me disapproving looks every few seconds. The thought of her steely expression quickly made up my mind, "Yeah, I'll go."
The two of us walked side by side out of the house and into Mick's familiar red car. We resisted holding hands on our way to the car and I could feel an invisible wall separating us. I was sorry for hurting Mick, but I was even more apologetic for kissing him. The way we had been kissing made it clear to everyone that we looked like lovers. I wouldn't have minded being Mick's girl, but I had already given myself to Izzy...and cheated on Izzy.
My insides seemed to churn inside me and I really felt like I deserved some sort of punishment for cheating. I felt so terrible for getting so upset at Izzy yesterday. It had been completely uncalled for. I couldn't help but wonder how Izzy would react if he knew I had been kissing Mick. I supposed he had a right to know about my felony.
"Mick?" I questioned, breaking the long silence that had settled in the car. Mick, looking slightly shocked that I was speaking to him again, answered, "Yeah?" Without figuring out how I was going to word my sentence, I burst out, "If you cheat on someone, should you tell them about it? I mean, they have a right to know, don't they?"
Mick took his hands off the wheel of the car and turned to look me right in the eyes, "Amy, if you're talking about you and Izzy, it wasn't cheating. I forced you to kiss me, alright? It had nothing to do with you. Please don't blame yourself for this, Amy. You already blame yourself for way too many things. I know you love Izzy. It's not hard to see."
"Mick, please don't make me look innocent here," I snapped back, taking my anger out on him. "There was no way that you forced me to kiss you back. That was my own choice. If I truly loved Izzy, I wouldn't have done that." Hot, angry tears spilled down my face and my vision started to blur.
A loud honk sounded from the road and I glanced up to see what was going on. Mick was still staring at me and clearly not paying any attention to where we were going. I bit my lip as we ran a red light. Mick blushed and atoned, "Oops, sorry. I guess I should pay more attention to where I'm going before I get us into an accident!"
I didn't reply and focused on wiping the tears of my cheeks. Crying didn't help anyone. All it did was show how truly weak my soul was. I had not one ounce of integrity. A little voice seemed to be speaking from somewhere deep inside me. In that moment, I knew exactly what I was going to have to do. I would have to call Izzy, confess my sin to him, and see if he would take me back. If he didn't...well...I couldn't blame him. I was just about the worst kind of girlfriend you could have.
In my moment of decision, Mick parked the truck outside of very large building. I assumed it was Roy Thomas Baker's house and exited the car door to get a good look of the house. Even from outside, I could hear very loud, earsplitting music pulsing through the house. Already I could tell that this party had gotten out of hand. Mick and I stood back and observed the house with trepidation.
Finally, Mick took a step forward with his jaw firm, "Well, I guess we'd better go in and see what Nikki and Tommy are up to, don't you think?" Rather reluctantly, I nodded and followed Mick to the doorway. Just as Mick was about to knock, the door burst open and a tall man with scraggly blonde hair quickly shut it behind him and turned key in the doorknob to lock it.
"Hey, what are you doing?" Mick asked indignantly as he faced the man, "My friends are in there!" The man gazed right back at Mick with watery, pale blue eyes, "This is my house. I gave your friends a warning to leave, but they refused. I'm looking the doors because nobody should leave know. They're all intoxicated. I'm sorry, I guess you'll either have to wait for your friends or go home." Without a backwards glance, the man, who I assumed was Roy, turned and marched away.
It was only then that I noticed two sleazy-looking girls parked in a mustang next to us and gazing hungrily up at the house. I quickly averted my gaze from them and turned back to Mick, "What are we suppose to do now? It's getting dark and we can't wait for them all night now, can we?"
Mick bit his lip and shook his head, "I suppose not. We should've gotten here sooner. They're all probably sitting in that jacuzzi tub wasting away right now." I had a very bad feeling that Mick was absolutely right. Nikki couldn't resist drugs and Tommy would definitely end up taking heaps of them since he had Candice around.
I popped back into the car and motioned Mick in next to me, "Come on, Mick. Let's go home. There's no use in sitting around and waiting for them. Besides, I've got stuff to do." Mick nodded without taking his eyes off the house and climbed in next to me. We were just about to take off when a figure caught my eye.
One of the windows to Roy's house was opening and a figure was sneakily sliding out of it. My eyes widened as I took in the figure. He was completely naked and dripping wet. Apparently, he had just gotten out of the jacuzzi and was out of his mind. I watched sympathetically as he dropped onto the street and quickly entered a black Porsche.
Suddenly, my eyes widened in shock as I took in the familiar Porsche. Oh my god, it was Nikki! I grabbed Mick's arm in a tight grip and pointed with my free hand at the Porsche, "Look, Mick! It's Nikki!" Mick took his foot off the gas pedal and turned to look. Nikki had wasted no time in starting up the engine of the Porsche and he was backing out of the driveway as quickly as possible.
I noticed the two girls in the mustang exchange excited glances. One of them pointed to the Porsche and exclaimed, "There he is! Come on, Amanda, let's follow him!" The two girls pulled their car around and started tearing after Nikki down the street.
"Hurry, Mick!" I yelled. "We've got to go help Nikki. He shouldn't be driving right now." Mick wasted no time in pressing down the gas pedal. In a moment, we were in the midst of the chase. Nikki seemed to be gaining distance between himself and the girls, but of course, the girls wouldn't give up easily. They continued to stalk him down.
I saw Nikki glance around wildly to see if he had lost the girls. He took his eyes off the road for only a moment, but it was a moment too long. Nikki's Porsche went slamming into a telephone pole with a smash. I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed that Nikki would be okay. Shocked, the two girls went flying right on by Nikki, unable to stop their car. Mick slowed down our car and pulled over on the side of the road next to Nikki's ruined car.
I jumped out of the car, ran over to the beat up car, and flung the car door open. Nikki was sitting in the front seat, completely naked, with eyes glazed over. My heart stopped for a mere second; he couldn't be dead, right? Anxiously, I shook his shoulder and screamed, "Nikki! Say something! Anything!"
Nikki jerked his head towards me slowly and asked in a thick voice, "Amy? What the hell are you doing here?" I was so relieved that Nikki was able to talk that I felt like laughing or screaming with happiness. But of course, this was not the time or place to do that. Instead, I pretended to be mad at him and retorted, "I could ask the same of you. What are you doing?"
"I wanted to see Lita," Nikki slurred. I sighed. Why couldn't Nikki just have stayed home from the party and gone out to the movies or to a club with Lita instead? That would definitely have been much safer.
"Couldn't you have waited until to tomorrow to see Lita?" I groaned. "Besides, are you actually doing to see her looking like that?" I tried to keep myself from staring at his stripped figure, but it was a temptation. Nikki frowned and looked down at himself as if he had forgotten that he was naked.
"I couldn't find my clothes," Nikki stated rather a-matter-a-factly. I shook my head at him and was about to chastise him some more when Mick came barreling over and pushed me out of the way, "Not now, Amy! Nikki's probably hurt. We need to get him to a hospital right away. Well, one of us needs to bring him to the hospital. The other one needs to call a tow truck."
Mick shot me a meaningful glance that clearly meant that he wanted me to be the one to call the tow truck. Sighing, I gave into him, "Oh, fine. I'll call the two truck." Then I turned to back to Nikki who was still sitting in the car, "How are you feeling, Nikki? Does anything hurt? Can you walk?"
Nikki attempted to get out of the car and immediately fell back against the seat with an anguished look on his face. I ran back over to his side and asked, "What is it? Do you think you broke something?" Nikki shook his head and pointed miserably at his shoulder, "Nah, but my shoulder kills."
Mick frowned and helped Nikki out of the Porsche and into his truck. Nikki flopped against him like a limp doll. My heart was pounding against my chest. I wanted to take Nikki's pain away. His face was contorted, his eyes bloodshot, and sweat was dripping down his forehead. It was clear he was in much more pain than he told me he was in.
Once Mick had gently helped Nikki into the passenger seat, he gave me a serious look and stated, "I know you want to come to the hospital with us, but you're better off if you call the tow truck. You'll just get in the way if you come with us. I'll call you as soon as we know more about Nikki's condition. Until then, see you later?"
Even though I wanted to stay with Nikki and hold his hand on the way to the hospital, I slowly replied, "I guess." Mick swung into the driver's seat and instantly was tearing off down the road at top speed. I couldn't tell if Nikki's shoulder injury was serious or not. Now I was starting to wish I had paid attention during all those health classes I had taken in high school!
With nothing left to do, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called the nearby towing center. A man's gruff voice answered my call, "Yeah?" I was a little taken back by the fact that he hadn't even bothered to say hello. After all, it was just common courteously and knowledge to say hello when you answered the phone.
I pushed this thought aside and replied, "Um, hi. I'm here to call a tow truck. Can you send one over?" The man agreed in that rough voice, "Yeah, that's what we're here for. What's the address?" I recited the address of Roy's house to the man. He told me that they would have a tow truck to the sight of the accident within thirty minutes.
I thanked him and then hung up the phone. Now I was bored. I felt like I should call Izzy and get the phone call over with, but I felt like procrastinating. That had always been one of my weaknesses. I liked to but everything off until the very last minute. But this time, I was determined not make to the same mistake.
With grave conviction, I sluggishly punched Izzy's phone number into my phone. It felt as if I were signing up for a date of with the devil. This phone call wasn't guaranteed to go well. Unable to sit still, I anxiously paced back and forth in front of the crashed car as the phone rang. Each ring seemed to drag on and on and I thought Izzy wasn't going to answer the phone.
Just when I was about to slam the phone shut with frustration, an unceremonious voice picked up the phone and muttered grumpily, "Shelia, I've told you this about a million times: I don't want you to come over, okay? You've gotta learn that even though you're a sex-starved idiot doesn't mean you can force yourself on people. Find some other guy at the strip club you're always at. I'm sure one of them will be as naive as I was and agree to sleep with you. Now fuck off!"
Turbulence started tumbling through my head. It had unmistakably been Izzy's voice, but who was this Shelia person? It sounded like she was a stripper at some local club from what Izzy had said. But was worse was what he had said afterwards. I had to assume that Izzy had slept with her sometime recently.
I bit down hard on my lip until I tasted blood in my mouth. So Izzy and I had both cheated each other. That could only mean one thing; we weren't right for each other. The love that I had thought existed between us had shattered. I had truly loved Izzy though. If I didn't really care about him, my heart wouldn't feel like someone had torn it out and squished it, right?
It was only then that I realized that I still had the phone pressed to my ear. I wasn't sure what to do now. It was a thorny situation and I couldn't think of anything to say. My brain seemed to have frozen as soon as my heart had broken. I figured my best option was just to hang up. Then Izzy would think that I was Shelia and he wouldn't feel like he would have to explain to me why he had fucked another girl. I didn't think I could stand listening to another one of his pathetic excuses.
With hot fury and heartbreaking pain in my chest, I slapped the phone shut and threw it to the ground in aggravation. I was so distracted that I hadn't heard the large tow truck pull him next to me. Suddenly, I whirled around and saw a big man staring at me with wide eyes. Great, now even the tow truck man was going to think I had lost it.
Mortified, I attempted a smile at the tow truck man and waved him over to the Porsche. He returned the gesture with an uneasy smile and apprehensively crossed the grass to where I was standing by Nikki's Porsche. After taking one look at the Porsche, he turned to me and said, "We can easily take care of this. Now why don't you hop in the passenger seat and I'll take you home?"
The suggestion made me a little nervous. After all, I had always learned never to take rides from strangers at a very young age. But this guy did work for a tow trucking company and he clearly couldn't do anything to me without risking his job so I decided to take my chance. I took the big jump up to the passenger seat and buckled myself inside.
A few loud clunking noises sounded as the man transferred Nikki's car onto the back of the truck. Seconds later, he climbed in the driver's seat next to me and I repeated the directions to my home. As we drove along, we sat in complete silence. I couldn't help but notice that the man kept glancing at me out of the corner of his eye.
It was starting to make me uncomfortable and I was wishing he would speed up a little bit. After shooting me yet another glance, I started digging through my purse just as a diversion so I wouldn't have to look at the man. I took out my wallet and began sorting credit cards. Of course, this was a very stupid thing to do, but I didn't realize it until the man's eyes became the size of saucers and he gazed transfixed at the numerous cards in my wallet.
Realizing my mistake, I hastily stuffed my wallet into the bottom of my purse and looked for another distraction. I didn't like the way the man next to me looked. He was large...very large. His hair was so short that he looked almost bald and he had a scraggly beard. He looked very strong and that unnerved me.
Ding, ding, ding! Abruptly, my phone started ringing from my purse. It sounded very loud in the car that had been filled with silence only moments earlier. Glad for the distraction, I pulled out the phone and began to flick it open...but then I stopped. I brought it back down from my ear and scrutinized the phone number carefully. If it was Izzy, I didn't want to pick it up.
Luckily, it was a number I had never seen before. I figured it was a telemarketer, but there was only one way to find out. I whipped open the phone and said, "Hello?" A voice answered me in an energetic tone, "Hey there, this is Amy, right?"
I didn't recognize the voice or the phone number, but clearly the person on the other end of the phone must've known who I was since they knew my name. I answered in a puzzled voice, "Um, yeah, it's Amy. Can I ask who this is?" The voice laughed and replied, "Oh yeah, sorry. This is Axl. You remember me, right?"
Oh god, Axl was actually calling me! I instantly forgot about the threatening-looking man in the seat next to me and butterflies started dancing around in my stomach. Tried not to sound overly excited, I said, "Of course I remember you, Axl. I'm kind of surprised you remember me though. By the way, how did you manage to get my phone number? I don't remember giving it to you." My words seemed to tumble out of my mouth in a rush. Hopefully, Axl would be able to understand my blabbing.
"It's not hard to forget you, Amy," Axl stated. "You're the only girl Izzy has gone out with for more than two weeks. He usually just goes to the nearby clubs and picks up random girls to fuck. It gets rather annoying having to go to clubs with him at least once a week and watching him trying to seduce all the strippers."
My heart sank; Axl's words seemed to confirm what I had heard from Izzy earlier. Now there was no doubt in my mind that he had gone to the strip club as soon as he had dropped me off back at my home in Los Angeles. Axl was wrong. Izzy wasn't still my lover if he was sleeping with random girls at the clubs still. Feeling that I should say something to Axl's response, I merely said, "Hm. That doesn't explain how you got my phone number though."
"Oh," Axl said, remembering my question from earlier. "I got it from Izzy's house. He's got your phone number all over the house. I swear he has it in every single room in case he needs to reach you for an emergency or something. I've never seen him so in love with someone before. What a change from the Izzy I knew three weeks ago."
I didn't really want to keep talking about Izzy. Every time I thought of him, my insides seemed to contract painfully with a flurry of emotions. Trying to change the subject, I replied, "Anyways, so what's up? How's everything been for you?"
"Oh, it's been great!" Axl exclaimed in a upbeat tone. "I have a big surprise for Izzy and I wanted you to be there when I told him the surprise. So the reason I was calling you up was to see if you could swing by my house next week Tuesday. I'd really be grateful to have you come and I'm sure Izzy would be too."
The offer was really tempting. Seeing Axl again was an irresistible offer, but seeing Izzy sent a shiver down my spine. Without making up my mind yet, I answered Axl, "Uh, I'd like to see you again too. I do love surprises. But...next week might not be the best time. Nikki just got into an accident and I'm not sure if Izzy wants to see me."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Axl burst out in bewilderment. "Izzy wants to see you more than anything. All he ever talks about is you. He says-" Axl cut off his sentence and then continued, "Um, nevermind what he says."
"What does he say about me?" I asked in an imperious tone. I needed to know what Izzy thought of me. Axl was his best friend and Izzy would definitely have told him his true thoughts of me. Axl seemed to hesitate before going on, "Fine, I'll tell you, but you had better not tell him I said any of this to you. Here's what he told me the other day, 'Amy's such a wonderful girl. I've never met anyone like her before. She's so damn hot too. It's hard though because she always keeps herself so guarded and she seems so fragile at times. I'm almost afraid that if I touch her, I'll hurt her or something.' Anyways, that's all he said that I remember. So are you coming to my house next week or not?"
My thoughts were racing through my head at an alarming rate. Why would Izzy say things like this about me if he had cheated on me? Everything seemed to be so confusing. At that moment, the truck reached a screeching halt in front of my house. Without a backward look at the truck driver, I leapt out of the truck and hurried up to my house and entered the front door.
I made an effort to make an effort to lock the door securely behind me. Maybe I was just being paranoid, but it never hurt to put up precautions. I hesitated on the phone, still unsure if I wanted to see Izzy or not. Axl, who tended to be pretty moody, was starting to lose patience with me, "Aw, c'mon, Amy! Izzy wants to see you. And you want to see Izzy...right? I mean, you are still in love with him, aren't you? It would break his heart if you didn't love him anymore."
"Yeah, I'm still in love with him," I started to say slowly. That much was true. There was a passion inside me that burned everytime I thought of Izzy. But now it burned with searing pain that seemed to be burning the love out of my heart and replacing it with pain, anguish, and betrayal.
"Then what the fuck is the problem?" Axl was saying. "You're gonna be here on Thursday whether you like it or not." I decided just to give in. I was going to have to face Izzy eventually so why not get it over with?
"Yeah, I'll be there," I replied in anticipation. I could almost see Axl's demeanor change at my next words. His mood certainly turned around. Now his voice was ecstatic again as he said, "Good, I knew you'd come around! Well, Erin's here so I'd better go. We'll seeya on Tuesday. Don't forget!" With that, I heard his phone disconnect.
I plopped down on the living room couch and closed my eyes. So much had been gone on today. First of all, I had cheated on Izzy by kissing Mick. Then to make matters worse, I learned Izzy had been cheating on me as well. Next, Nikki had gotten in a car accident and only God knew how he was doing at this moment. And finally, I had agreed to go to Axl's surprise party for Izzy. I had yet to figure out whether I had made a good decision about going to the party.

Next week Tuesday, I pulled in Tommy's parking, crossed the driveway, and knocked loudly on his front door. Tommy had decided drive with me to Axl's house because Candice lived close by and in his words, he was "dying" to see her. What Tommy saw in that little bitch, I would never know. I blew on my hands in an attempt to keep warm. It was fall now and rather cold outside. I was now wishing I had worn something warmer than my thin, black and white tube top.
Luckily, it didn't take Tommy long to come to the door. He flung it open and stepped aside to let me in, "Hi Amy. You're a little early! I'll be just a few minutes. Why don't you make yourself at home while I get ready though?" The wind just about blew me inside Tommy's house and I hurriedly shut the door behind me to keep the heat inside the house.
Tommy retreated to the bathroom, and I settled down on the couch to wait for him. Ding dong! The doorbell rang just as soon as I had picked up a tattered magazine from the floor. I frowned; Tommy was going to Axl's with me today. He wasn't suppose to have vistors. I yelled loudly, "Tommy, someone's at the door! Are you expecting someone?"
Tommy emerged from the bathroom, looking nonplussed. He shook his head and replied in a baffled voice, "No, I wasn't. I guess you can get the door though. I'll be out in a minute." Tommy returned to the bathroom once again, leaving me to get the door. Feeling curious, I laid the magazine back down on the floor, strode across the room, and flung the door open to face the invader.
Aquamarine blue eyes stared back at me and blonde hair ruffled in the breeze outside. Silently, I pushed the door open wider to let Vince Neil in. I wondered what Vince was doing here. Vince didn't normally just drop by people's houses. As a matter of fact, this was probably the first time Vince had visited Tommy uninvited.
Vince stepped through the doorway and pushed the door shut behind him with a bang. Feeling an urge to say something, I stated bluntly, "What are you doing here?" It might have sounded a little rude, but my past with Vince was rather uncomfortable. We had gotten so far but were torn about my Vince's moral code.
"Aren't you at least gonna ask me to sit down?" Vince flashed that mesmerizing smile at me as he threw his black coat over a chair. I frowned at him as I sat back down on the couch, "You weren't invited, but alright. Sit down. What's up?" I was hoping Vince was going to sit on the chair across from me, but no. He had to come sit right next to me so that my skin starting tingling and my heart started racing.
"Well," Vince started out once he had plopped down on the couch unnecessarily close to me, "I was wondering why we hadn't been having any band rehearsals. We have that show at the Orange Pavilion coming up in a few months and we having practiced for over a week. I've missed everyone. What's going on?"
I couldn't help but feel sorry for Vince. Apparently nobody had bothered to tell Vince about Nikki's accident. It was sad because nobody really seemed to have accepted Vince. True, he was an official part of the Crue, but he wasn't really part of the Crue family like the rest of us were. Nikki held an ongoing grudge against him and Mick and Tommy acted indifferent.
"Nikki had an accident," I explained to Vince, "He drove his Porsche into a telephone pole last week and dislocated his shoulder. He's going to be okay, but he needs to rest for at least a week." Vince raised his eyebrows, affirming my suspicions that he knew absolutely nothing about the accident.
"I'm so sorry," Vince apologized. "I wish I had known about the accident sooner." A wicked smile lit up Vince's features and he added, "Why, I have just the cure for him! I'll head over to his house right now." Without waiting for an reply, Vince jumped up from the couch and hurried back towards the door.
I narrowed my eyes and yelled back at him, "What exactly did you have in mind, Vince?" For some reason, I didn't want Vince to go just yet. I knew I didn't have the same feelings for him like I use to, but I couldn't deny that I still liked spending time with him. Vince halted and turned around to face me with another evil smile on his face, "Oh...you'll see."
At that moment, the bathroom door burst open and Tommy emerged looking very handsome. He took one look at Vince and me and immediately suspecting trouble, "What's going on here?" Vince quickly opened the door and waved as he stepped outside, "Ah, nothing. I'll see you later Tommy!"
Tommy stared at the closed door and then turned back to me, "That Vince is a strange one. Let's getting going shall we? You can tell me what he wanted while we're driving." I nodded and trailed after Tommy to my black jetta. I passed Tommy the keys and took the passenger seat besides him. Tommy was always a safe drive and abided to the speed limits. So unlike Izzy, Axl, or Nikki, I could trust him with my car.
As soon as we were driving steadily on the highway, Tommy brought up the subject from earlier, "So what did Vince want? I hope he wasn't coming to pressure you into something...again." I hastily shook my head so that Tommy wouldn't get the wrong idea about the situation, "Oh no, it was nothing like that. He wanted to ask why we haven't had band practice for a while. I told him about Nikki's accident and why we hadn't been practicing."
Tommy smirked without taking his eyes of the road, "He's always a little slow now, isn't he? Probably too busy fucking every single girl he can lay his hands on or something like that." I frowned and snapped back, "Well, it would help if someone told him about Nikki's accident. You wouldn't have known about it if I hadn't told you about it, hm?"
I was still feeling sympathetic for Vince. There was really no need for Tommy to bash him up like this. Tommy turned to glance at me sideways and then pointed an accusing finger at me, "Ah ha! I know what the problem is: you're still in love with Vince, aren't you? God, Amy, how many times have I had to tell you that man has trouble written all over him?"
I blushed furiously and turned to face window so Tommy couldn't see my pink cheeks, "I am not still in love with him, Tommy! Do not make false accusations like this." Seeing the built up anger inside of me, Tommy steered the subject away from my past relationship with Vince, "So where was he going in such a hurry when I came out of the bathroom?"
"He said he was going to Nikki's. Apparently, he has some sort of 'cure' for him," I repeated what Vince had told me earlier. Tommy shook his head sadly, "Knowing Vince, his cure is probably drugs or something." Even though I figured this was probably true, I decided to defend Vince anyways, "Maybe not. He may just want to keep Nikki company or something."
Tommy snorted, "You're being blind, Amy. We all know that Vince and Nikki loathe each other. Vince is definitely going over there for some reason over than to have a friendly chat with Nikki."
I sighed resignedly, "I suppose you're right. Should I call Nikki or something to warn him?" Tommy shrugged and returned his eyes to the road, "Nah. Nikki's a grown man, Amy. You're not his mother. He's gonna make his own decisions. If he wants to do drugs, he's gonna do them whether you like it or not."
Tommy was definitely right. There was nothing I could do to stop Nikki from making a bad decision. A sudden desire to destroy all the drugs in Los Angeles filled me. I cared about Nikki and I didn't want anything to happen to him. I was so distracted by my thoughts of Nikki that I completely forgot to worry about my upcoming meeting with Axl and Izzy.



When Tommy pulled up at a rather run-down looking house, I was perplexed. Had Tommy forgotten that he had promised to drop me off at Axl's house and had gone to Candice's house first? Tommy pulled into the driveway and parked. I frowned at him and said, "Uh, Tommy? Aren't you gonna drop me off at Axl's house?"
Tommy couldn't resist smiling at my comment, "Amy, this is Axl's house. At least, this is the house he gave you directions to go to." Instantly, I felt stupid, "Oh." Axl had called me later last week and given me the directions to his house. I hadn't expected anything fancy, but I certainly hadn't expected a dilapidated shack like this. I hesitated in the car, peering at the house with it's peeling brown paint and dirty windows. It definitely had a foreboding feeling to it.
Tommy was starting to get impatient. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and exhaled loudly, "So are you going in or not, Amy? I don't have all day you know. I'm already late for my date with Candice." Tommy peered down at his watch anxiously and frowned at the time. I knew better than to irk Tommy anymore, so I slid out of the car and waved to Tommy, "Bye!"
Tommy didn't reply because he was already backing out of the driveway. As I warily crept up to the scratched wooden door, an unnerving thought flashed through my head: maybe this was all a joke? Maybe Axl had given me directions to some strangers house just for a laugh? I tried to tell myself that it couldn't be true. After all, Axl wouldn't do something like that...right?
Feeling small and all alone in the world, I lightly knocked on the ancient door and stood back a few careful steps. I had to make sure I would easily be able to turn and run if it became necessary to escape. But most likely, I was just being paranoid as usual.
The doorway flew open a second later, causing me to jump backwards with shock. A familiar laugh sounded and I saw Axl standing in the doorway with an amused smile on his lips, "Didn't mean to scare you, Amy. Sorry about this place," Axl waved a hand around to indicate the house, "but it's all I can afford at the moment. I plan to change that soon though."
Axl smiled zealously at me and his eyes were shining with excitement. I was more than glad to see him. It felt like centuries since we had been alone together last time. I stepped inside the little house and shut the door behind me with a loud creak, "It seems like a nice enough house to me. So how do you plan to get a better house?"
"Oh...you'll see," Axl replied wickedly. I sighed; trust Axl not to tell me what was going on. He led me through a small living room with only a long, dark green couch, television, and battered table in it. We entered the kitchen a moment later and I found Izzy sitting at the table looking rather irritated. He was staring at the ground and his dark eyes stayed focused on the floor.
A rush of anxiety pulsed through me as I took the chair at the table farthest away from Izzy. Axl frowned slightly at me, but kept his mouth shut. After we were all sitting down, Axl waved a hand in front of Izzy's face, "Earth to Izzy! What the hell are you doing? Sleeping? You can sleep later, goddamit! Look, Amy's here."
Izzy jerked out of his reverie and slowly raised his eyes to meet mine. As soon as our gazes locked, I was unable to look away even though I wanted to. It was like I was being hypnotized by a snake charmer. Izzy started to smile tentatively at me and then stopped as he looked closer at my face. I could tell that he knew something was definitely wrong.
Axl tried to cover up the awkwardness. It was clear that he was having a hard time keeping his surprise to himself. Unable to contain himself anymore, Axl exclaimed, "Guess what, you guys?" Izzy and I still hadn't looked away from each other. Our staring was started to become awkward, but I just couldn't manage to look away from those dark, gray eyes that shone in the sunlight that flooded the small, dank room. I couldn't find my voice, so I let Izzy reply to Axl's question.
Flatly, he asked, "What?" Axl's forehead creased and his shiny, auburn hair fell in front of one eye. It was clear he was obviously irritated by the lack of enthusiasm. Now that Izzy had looked away from me, I tried to say in an enthusiastic voice, "What's up, Axl? I've been dying to know your surprise for over a week now!"
Axl continued, "Well, you know how I've been telling you that I've always wanted to start a new band?" Izzy nodded vigorously, "Oh yes! How could I forget that? You're always going on and on about how you want to start a new band. I haven't seen any bands starting yet though." Axl smiled widely and leaned back in his chair, "I've started a new band. Our first practice starts tomorrow! I've got all our new members. Chris Weber is going to be the guitarist, Rick Mars is our bassist, and Johnny Kreis is our drummer. You'll get to meet them all tomorrow."
Izzy was staring at Axl with raised eyebrows, "Wait, you've started this band all on your own? I have to say that's surprising." Izzy's apathy was starting to piss Axl off. Axl's eyes flashed in warning and he said, "Why is that surprising? I've been telling you for ages that I wanted to start a new band. You should be thankful I'm letting you in the band. Aren't you excited at all?"
"Yeah, sure," Izzy replied in that same, flat tone. That was too much for Axl. He jumped out of his chair and glared at Izzy, "God, Izzy, what the fuck is wrong with you? You've always been so desperate to be part of a band and now you're acting like you could care less!" Axl turned his fiery gaze from Izzy to me and then back to Izzy again, "Oh, I see what the problem is."
Izzy and I looked up at Axl in surprise and said in unison, "What's the problem?" Axl shook his head, causing his hair to fly around his shoulders, "You two are having issues, aren't you? I'm gonna leave for a few minutes to let you guys sort out whatever is going on. When I come back, I do expect you to at least show a little bit of interest in the new band!"
With that, Axl turned on his heel and stalked out of the room. I groaned to myself. Thanks a lot, Axl! The thing I had been trying to avoid was being left alone with Izzy. Axl had thrown me right into my grave. For a long second, neither of us spoke. Izzy returned to looking at the ground and I fidgeted ever so slightly in my chair.
After about a minute, which seemed like an eternity to me, Izzy slowly lifted his eyes from the floor and turned to me, "Alright, are you going to tell me what's bothering you?" I avoided looking into Izzy's eyes to avoid my usual paralysis and snapped, "You already know what's wrong, Izzy. Don't play your games with me."
One eyebrow soared high over Izzy's left eye which told me that he clearly didn't know what was wrong, "Um, I'm not playing any games with you. You're the one who's playing the games. Did I do something wrong last time?" I could sense a lot of tension behind Izzy's words, but he did a good jump trying to mask it behind his attitude of nonchalance.
"No..." I paused, unsure of how to state my suspicions to him. Finally, I burst out in a rush, "What about Shelia?" Izzy tilted his head so that his black hair flopped into one eye, "Shelia? Who's-?" Izzy abruptly cut off his sentence and his jaw stiffened, "How do you know about Shelia? Is she your friend or something?"
"She's definitely not my friend," I stated repulsively. Why the hell would Izzy think some stripper would be my friend? I didn't have any friends besides the Crue members. I continued on in an attempt to pinpoint Izzy, "Apparently, she's more than a friend to you though, hm?" My words came out harsher than I had meant them to be, but I was in no mood to apologize.
A pink blush started to creep up Izzy's pallid cheeks. He closed his eyes for a moment and I couldn't help but notice that he unnaturally long, black eyelashes. I quickly flung my gaze away from him. This was not the time to be checking out Izzy's body.
At last, Izzy spoke in a much softer voice, "I guess I'd better explain this all to you. You have a right to know. But first, how did you find out about Shelia?" The answer immediately tumbled out of my mouth, "You told me about her." Izzy looked slightly confused, "No...I didn't tell you about her."
I was getting impatient at all this small talk. I insisted testily, "Yes, you did tell me. I called you on the phone and you thought I was her or something like that." Izzy's face paled so that he almost looked like a vampire with his snow white skin and dark black hair. I tapped my fingers loudly on the table and continued, "So are you gonna tell me about her or not?"
Izzy nodded reluctantly and started out, "I'll tell you, but please just hear me out before you make assumptions. If you don't listen to the whole story, you'll walk away with the wrong idea. Promise?" I let out a long, dragged out sigh, "Yes, I promise! I've got all day. Now hurry up and tell me before I have to go and get Axl to tell me instead!"
"I met Shelia at the Gold Club about a month and a half ago," Izzy started. "Axl insisted on going there and so he dragged me along with him. We had a nice time at first. Axl had brought Erin along and soon the two were drunk as hell. They left after only an hour, but I stayed. It was nice to spend some time alone, you know?" Izzy looked up at me to make sure I was listening.
I nodded. Of course I was listening. How could I not be listening? Izzy continued, "Anyways, this pretty, little stripper girl came over to me right after Axl and Erin left. I had noticed that she had been eying me the whole night. I guess she was afraid to make her move until she was sure that Erin was Axl's girlfriend and not mine. She came over and asked to sit by me. I said yes. After all, she was quite beautiful and she seemed nice at first."
"What do you mean by 'at first'?" I asked curiously. To tell the truth, I was already very jealous of this Shelia. I tried to my tone casual and act like I didn't really care though. Izzy didn't need to know just how much this was hurting me.
"You'll see," Izzy replied to my question. "So the two of us sat around and talked for a while. Shelia kept buying us drinks and before long, I was even more drunk than Axl had been." Izzy shook his head sadly and I could see the remorse in his eyes. I figured that if he was given the chance to redo his actions that night, he would certainly redo them.
"By the end of the night, I had pretty much lost my mind. I don't remember what I said or did, but I probably acted like an insane drunkard. As soon as the club shut down, which was around three am, Shelia pulled me outside with her and pleaded to come home with me in this sweet, innocent voice. I wanted her and she wanted me, so I agreed and brought her home with me that night. Of course, the only thing she wanted from me was satisfaction."
Suddenly, loud footsteps sounded in the entryway of the kitchen. They stopped abruptly at Izzy's words. I had no doubt in my mind that it was Axl eavesdropping on our conversation. Izzy must've thought the same thing because his next words were, "Axl, what the fuck? Can't a person have a little privacy around here?"
Axl strolled casually into the kitchen yet with a wide grin on his face, "Not really since this is my house. I don't think I've heard this story before so I might as well stay and listen to it too." Axl pulled back a chair and started to sit down, but Izzy grabbed the chair and firmly shoved it back in, looking like he was about to blow up.
"Axl, you said you were going to leave until we got the problem worked out. I'm not really comfortable discussing this with you around so leave, will ya?" Izzy pleaded. I had never seen Izzy look this uncomfortable before. He kept wringing his hands in his lap and there were small beads of sweat on his forehead.
"Fine, but hurry up!" Axl agreed, sensing Izzy's discomfort. Axl trudged back out of the room to leave Izzy and me alone together once more. Izzy waited until Axl's footsteps were no longer audible before continuing, "Back to what I was saying. So I fucked Shelia that night...and the next night and the night after. It sort of became our routine. I would go to the club, she and I would get drunk, and then we would go back to my house. It took me a few weeks before I realized that I didn't want to live this way. I wanted to find a girl who wanted me around for something other than sex. Plus, I figured it probably wasn't good getting drunk every night."
"Obviously," I replied. I was having bad visions in my head of Izzy lying on top of a pretty bleach-blonde stripper in that big, burgundy bed at his house. My face was probably turning slightly green with envy at this point. I would trade pretty much anything to trade lives with Shelia. She had all I had ever wanted; Izzy.
Izzy had paused and was trying to decipher my reaction to his news, "What are you thinking? I can't read you." That was good. Apparently, my expressionless mask was working. I shook my head and refused to tell Izzy anything, "I'll tell you at the end. Just finish your story first, okay?"
Izzy kept running his fingers through his hair nervously, "Um, okay. So I stopped going to the club every night. It was hard at first, but I figured out I was better off without all of Shelia's shit. Unfortunately, I had made the mistake of giving her my phone number. She called me that night and I had to confess that I wanted to break up with her. She was upset...very upset. But there was nothing I could do. I wasn't going to live my life the way she wanted me to."
I was starting to feel a tad bit sorry for Izzy, but I did my best not to let it show. Instead, I kept my mouth shut as he continued, "She finally left me alone after a week. The week after that was the week I met you. I wanted you to be mine from the start. I did my best to put my past behind me and start over with you."
"But you fucked her again anyways?" I cut in. Izzy looked puzzled, "I never fucked her again after I met you. But I'm not done yet, so just listen for a few minutes." I bit my tongue to keep my questions from spilling out. Suddenly, I felt really foolish. For some reason, I had automatically assumed that Shelia and Izzy had sex in the last week or so. I had been wrong...very wrong.
After making sure that I was still listening, Izzy went on, "Shelia called me again a week ago. She tried to get me to come to the club again, but I refused. Then she got really angry and told me...uh...told me..." Izzy trailed off without finishing his sentence. He was biting his lip hard and I could see he didn't want to let me know the rest of the story.
"Told you what?" I asked in a soft, gentle voice. All my anger at Izzy had completely vanished and was replaced by sympathy. I felt so bad that I had accused him of cheating. He hadn't cheated. It was just that he had a rough past with a stripper as a girlfriend. I resisted the impulse to run over to him and throw my arms around his neck.
Tight-lipped, Izzy looked at the ground and finished the sentence, "She told me she was pregnant with my child. I didn't know what to do, but I did know that I couldn't go back to living the reckless life of a drunkard with Shelia at a strip club. She cussed me out after I refused to have anything to do with her and the child. She said she'd get it aborted and that it was all my fault for having sex with her in the first place. When you called me, I figured it was her again. I'm so sorry, Amy."
Izzy finally lifted his head to meet my eyes, "I know this all sounds pretty bad, but I've changed now. I don't go to clubs anymore looking for girls to sleep with and I'm not going to have anything more to do with Shelia. She just a lying bitch who needs to get a life. Honestly, I don't even know if she knows for sure if the child she's having is mine. I'm sure she's slept with several guys in the last month. But anyways, enough of that. All I can do is offer my apology to you for having to hear about my past. If you want to break up with me now, I can understand it. But maybe you'll be able to find love for me somewhere in your heart?"
Izzy was searching my eyes earnestly. He had bitten his lip so hard that there was a thin trickle of blood dripping from his lower lip. I felt really angry at myself. I should've known better than to have thought Izzy would've cheated on me. I should've trusted him like he had trusted me. Suddenly, my heart sank; I still hadn't told him about what I had done with Mick.
He really did deserve to know. He had just told me about the hardest moments of his past and now I needed to confess. I glanced away from Izzy's beseeching gaze and murmured quietly, "Izzy...there's something I need to tell you." Izzy froze and his eyes seemed to glaze over, "You're interested in someone else?"
"No, no," I quickly reassured as I tried to figure out what I was going to say next. It was much harder telling him that I had cheated than I had thought it would be. Izzy was staring at me quizzically now, "What is it then?"
In a rush, I blurted out, "I...cheated on you the other day. Mick came over and he wanted to get back together with me. He kissed me and I, uh, kissed him back. I didn't know what I was doing. It didn't mean anything..." I nervously glanced back up at Izzy to see how he was taking the news.
"So you want to get back together with Mick then?" Izzy asked, trying to keep the chagrin out of his voice. "If you want to, you can. Don't let me stop you." Izzy's voice cracked at the end of the sentence, ruining the mask of impassiveness he had managed to hide behind during our whole conversation.
"No, of course not!" I exclaimed. I had expected him to give me a dirty look and call me a slut or a whore. But instead, here he was worried that I wanted to get back with Mick. I continued, "I don't love Mick in the same way I love you. I can't stand this tension anymore; do you still want me after everything I've done?"
Izzy blinked, "God, Amy, don't be silly. Of course I still want you. Mick kissed you so it wasn't your fault that you kissed him back. So you're not mad at me for what I did with Shelia?" All the tension that had built up in me was relinquished. I took a deep, relaxing breath and answered, "Not at all. You should be angry at me though."
Izzy shook his head, "Angry with you? I'd have to be pretty fucking crazy to be mad at you." We both smiled at each other for a moment before we both stood up at almost the exact same second. Izzy opened his arms to me and we embraced tightly. He put one hand on my lower back and tangled his other hand in my long, brown hair. I pulled him close to me and wished I would never have to let go. Pressing my cheek against his chest, I inhaled deeply. Izzy always smelled good. He smelled like...Izzy. There wasn't really a way to describe it.
"Ah hem," a voice interrupted us from the doorway. I could hear a chair scraping against the floor as Axl sat back down at the table. Izzy ignored Axl and refused to let me go. Axl allowed us to hug for another minute before he said, "Okay, guys, you've made up and everything's good now. So can we discuss the band now?"
Izzy untangled his hand out of my hair and slowly withdrew his hand on my back, "Yeah, I guess we've kept you waiting long enough for us. So tell us more about this new band of yours. What's it going to be called?" Izzy plopped back down in his chair and I started to return to mine, but stopped when Izzy grabbed my hand.
He pulled me over to him and pulled me onto his lap. A tingly sensation ran through my body and a slung an arm around Izzy's neck. Everything seemed to be right with the world now. Izzy had forgiven me for cheating him, I had learned that Izzy hadn't been cheating me after all, and now I could just enjoy the rest of my afternoon with my lover and an amazingly attractive guy.
"I'm calling it the Hollywood Rose," Axl replied. Izzy scrunched up his nose at the band name, "Aw...did you have to only put your name in it? Couldn't it have been the 'Hollywood Rose and Stradlin' or something?" Axl frowned and shook his head, "No, that doesn't sound as good. Besides, I was the one who formed the band. If you had put the effort into forming the band, then you could've named it. But since you didn't, I get to name it."
Izzy nodded reluctantly. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see eying the two of us with a look of resentfulness in his dark brown eyes. I was wondering what was wrong when Axl said, "I wonder where Erin is. I called her earlier. It would be nice to have another girl in the house." Ah, now I saw the problem. Axl didn't like watching me with Izzy when he didn't have a lover by his side.
Izzy's brow furrowed, "You can survive without Erin for a little while! I have to put up with you and her every single fucking day! It might do you some good to have some time away from her." Axl opened his mouth to retort, but I attempted to change the subject to avoid a fight, "What are the other members of the band like, Axl?"
Axl quickly told hold of the new subject and started telling us all about the band members. I quickly lost interest in the subject and looked for something to do. It wasn't that I wasn't interested in the new band, it was just that after hearing Axl drone on and on about it was starting to get rather repetitive.
As a diversion, I played with a lock of Izzy's dark hair. I twisted it around my fingers and noticed the way it shone in the sunlight. Then I stroked the side of Izzy's neck tenderly with two fingers. Izzy sighed with pleasure and wrapped his arms around me in a protective manner. I started to bury my face in his hair when Axl shouted my name without warning, "Amy!"
I jumped in Izzy's lap and whirled around to face Axl, "Huh?" Axl frowned at me disapproving, "Damn, can't you keep your hands off him, Amy? You keep distracting him. Izzy has been cursed with a short attention span, having you, Iz?" Izzy didn't answer because he was staring up at my face like he was staring at the face of an angel.
"Shit," Axl muttered under his breath. Then in a louder tone, he suggested, "Why don't you get us some drinks, Izzy? I'm really thirsty and I'm sure Amy is too. Right, Amy?" Axl shot me a meaningful look which implied me to agree that I was indeed thirsty. Izzy still didn't answer, so I took the task at hand upon myself.
"I can get them," I stated and stood up. "What does everyone want to drink?" Axl shrugged, "I don't care. Just whatever is in the fridge I guess." Izzy jumped up from the chair to help me. I opened a wooden cabinet and selected three dusty glasses. After setting them on the counter, I joined Izzy at the fridge to select something to drink.
Izzy was pulling out some sort of alcoholic beverage. I frowned at it and searching for something nonalcoholic to drink. I found some limeade in the back of the fridge and decided that would be my best option. As I set the limeade down on the counter, I accidentally elbowed one of the glasses. Izzy and I both lunged for it before it could smash on the floor. I grabbed it just in time and replaced it back onto the counter. It was then that I realized that Izzy was pinning me against the counter.
Izzy colored slightly and began to pull away, but I took hold of his one of us hands to make it obvious that I wanted him close to me. Axl was coughing loudly in the background, but Izzy and I both ignored him. The look we were exchanging was avid and full of desire. Finally, neither of us could resist any longer.