Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Fatal Facination
Shitty chapter I know! ugh so embarrassed.
Gerard held his knife close to him. He was so angry at himself. He walked down the dark street thinking. He thought about what Alyn was saying. How she said she wanted him dead. Those words reminded him of his father, all the times his father told him that women were no good. He wondered why his dad would even think that. He loved his mother with all his heart. What happened to them, what made them so distant. He sat down on the nearest park bench. It was easily 1 am. He sat there, his mind flooded it's self with memories.
Remembering waking up at night to hear fighting. Remembering how he had to make sure his brother stayed asleep. His brother was totally oblivious to the world around him at that time. He remembers going to school, pretending like it was ok. He had the weight on his shoulders of keeping his brother happy. One year, his brother got an opportunity to go to a summer camp for 3 months. 3 months was all it took to fuck Gerard up. His mother left, He did not understand why. He wished that he had someone to go to. His father got so cruel when he drank. Yelling at Gerard, telling him his mother was a whore, and that all women need to know their place, which was six feet under the dirt. He remembered how his dad would beat him saying that that is what his mother deserved. Gerard always tried to hide, but his father always found him. His father would tell him that hiding is bad, you will always get found. That his mother found a good hiding spot. But little 12 year old boys don't know how to hide.
For some reason when his brother returned his father was kinder. Gerard was always confused but this. He hated wondering why his brother did not get beat like he did. He did not want that to happen, but he hated being the one scared to go to sleep. His teachers would ask where his bruises came from. Remembering the stupid little boy lies he told
I fell, I crashed my bike, I tripped, I was playing around. He just tried to ecxell in the only thing he knew how to. Psychology. That was his best subject, his teacher loved him, He wished he could stay there forever in that class. He hated having to graduate. Leaving this nice man who was so good to him, more than his father ever was.
He hated how every time his brother went to those stupid summer camps, Gerard was stuck in that house. He remembers when his mom came back. How happy he felt. His mom never believed him though. She would always tell him, that even thought her and his father fought, he was a good man. Apparently His dad found out about this talk, and one day while she went shopping was beat within an inch of his life. Gerard had to tell the lie that he was in a fight with some boy he did not know. He had a broken nose and a broken hand.
Gerard never had a good girlfriend, no girls would give him the time of day. He sat all by his self, drawing pictures. Then Trish asked him to be her boyfriend. Gerard fell in love with her. His memories of her made him even angrier. How she told him she loved him. When really he was just a fuck toy, nothing else. He hated her. He was glad he did what he did. Maybe now his father would be proud. If he were alive, he probably gave him that pat on the back. He had to leave after that. He knew 18 was the best year of his life. He was a bit mad at himself for leaving his brother, but knew that he would be fine without him
Gerard sat on that bench, his memories hurting him. He tried to forget them, but if he was not thinking about his child hood he was thinking about Alyn. He contemplated which hurt he would rather feel. The hurt from remembering his father, or the hurt he felt for her. His head ached. He wondered what she was doing. He hated always being on edge when he was not right there next to her. He was afraid she would run away. Not because she would tell, but because he would never see her again. He wanted to slice his heart out of his chest. He hated the hurt that it had in it. It was swelling. He felt it hard to breath. He wondered why she was so angry. Why did he have to fuck her. He thought it would just be a quick fuck, nothing else. Why did it make him feel so horrible.
Alyn was hyperventilating, She wanted to feel Gerard hold her like hie did with the iron. She wanted to believe he was not a killer. She wanted to think he was just the sweetest man, who made love to her. But he wasn't. Her brain screamed at her. She felt sick. She looked in the mirror to check herself, It was still her. Her face had no marker on it. She looked pale, like a ghost though. She was so confused. She had never felt to disgusting, yet so attracted to this man. She really felt lie her mind was two people, fighting with each other. She held the sides of her head as she screamed in anger.
"Stop it! Stop it!" She yelled as she picked up the metal chair Gerard usually sat in, She threw it across the room breaking the mirror over the sink. Glass shards exploded from the wall. She felt ripping on her skin as she saw cuts appear on her body. She touched her cheek. When her eyes came in sight of red liquid on her finger. She felt the pain on her skin. She welcomed it. She would rather have pain than these confused feelings. She really wished that she could just die right there. She thought about it as she held a piece of glass In her hand. She wondered if she had the guts to do it.
Gerard decided that he was going to go home. He knew that this would only lead to something bad. He was worried about Alyn, she was really distressed. He did non know why. Why did it scare him? He got off of the bench and walked home. It was not a long walk but it felt like it. Knowing he would have to face Alyn. Petrified. Was he that much of a monster, that messed up, he could not be loved by anyone? He walked into the warehouse and threw his jacket to the floor. He walked slowly to his desk and put his knife in the top drawer. He stopped making noise when he heard something. He heard Alyn crying, screaming and crying. He ran into the room she was in and looked at her on the floor. She was bleeding from her arms, holding a piece of glass in her hand to tight it was cutting her flesh. He stood there motionless. His mouth gaped open. Alyn looked up at him her blue eyes stained with tears and blood.
"I'm a monster."
Gerard held his knife close to him. He was so angry at himself. He walked down the dark street thinking. He thought about what Alyn was saying. How she said she wanted him dead. Those words reminded him of his father, all the times his father told him that women were no good. He wondered why his dad would even think that. He loved his mother with all his heart. What happened to them, what made them so distant. He sat down on the nearest park bench. It was easily 1 am. He sat there, his mind flooded it's self with memories.
Remembering waking up at night to hear fighting. Remembering how he had to make sure his brother stayed asleep. His brother was totally oblivious to the world around him at that time. He remembers going to school, pretending like it was ok. He had the weight on his shoulders of keeping his brother happy. One year, his brother got an opportunity to go to a summer camp for 3 months. 3 months was all it took to fuck Gerard up. His mother left, He did not understand why. He wished that he had someone to go to. His father got so cruel when he drank. Yelling at Gerard, telling him his mother was a whore, and that all women need to know their place, which was six feet under the dirt. He remembered how his dad would beat him saying that that is what his mother deserved. Gerard always tried to hide, but his father always found him. His father would tell him that hiding is bad, you will always get found. That his mother found a good hiding spot. But little 12 year old boys don't know how to hide.
For some reason when his brother returned his father was kinder. Gerard was always confused but this. He hated wondering why his brother did not get beat like he did. He did not want that to happen, but he hated being the one scared to go to sleep. His teachers would ask where his bruises came from. Remembering the stupid little boy lies he told
I fell, I crashed my bike, I tripped, I was playing around. He just tried to ecxell in the only thing he knew how to. Psychology. That was his best subject, his teacher loved him, He wished he could stay there forever in that class. He hated having to graduate. Leaving this nice man who was so good to him, more than his father ever was.
He hated how every time his brother went to those stupid summer camps, Gerard was stuck in that house. He remembers when his mom came back. How happy he felt. His mom never believed him though. She would always tell him, that even thought her and his father fought, he was a good man. Apparently His dad found out about this talk, and one day while she went shopping was beat within an inch of his life. Gerard had to tell the lie that he was in a fight with some boy he did not know. He had a broken nose and a broken hand.
Gerard never had a good girlfriend, no girls would give him the time of day. He sat all by his self, drawing pictures. Then Trish asked him to be her boyfriend. Gerard fell in love with her. His memories of her made him even angrier. How she told him she loved him. When really he was just a fuck toy, nothing else. He hated her. He was glad he did what he did. Maybe now his father would be proud. If he were alive, he probably gave him that pat on the back. He had to leave after that. He knew 18 was the best year of his life. He was a bit mad at himself for leaving his brother, but knew that he would be fine without him
Gerard sat on that bench, his memories hurting him. He tried to forget them, but if he was not thinking about his child hood he was thinking about Alyn. He contemplated which hurt he would rather feel. The hurt from remembering his father, or the hurt he felt for her. His head ached. He wondered what she was doing. He hated always being on edge when he was not right there next to her. He was afraid she would run away. Not because she would tell, but because he would never see her again. He wanted to slice his heart out of his chest. He hated the hurt that it had in it. It was swelling. He felt it hard to breath. He wondered why she was so angry. Why did he have to fuck her. He thought it would just be a quick fuck, nothing else. Why did it make him feel so horrible.
Alyn was hyperventilating, She wanted to feel Gerard hold her like hie did with the iron. She wanted to believe he was not a killer. She wanted to think he was just the sweetest man, who made love to her. But he wasn't. Her brain screamed at her. She felt sick. She looked in the mirror to check herself, It was still her. Her face had no marker on it. She looked pale, like a ghost though. She was so confused. She had never felt to disgusting, yet so attracted to this man. She really felt lie her mind was two people, fighting with each other. She held the sides of her head as she screamed in anger.
"Stop it! Stop it!" She yelled as she picked up the metal chair Gerard usually sat in, She threw it across the room breaking the mirror over the sink. Glass shards exploded from the wall. She felt ripping on her skin as she saw cuts appear on her body. She touched her cheek. When her eyes came in sight of red liquid on her finger. She felt the pain on her skin. She welcomed it. She would rather have pain than these confused feelings. She really wished that she could just die right there. She thought about it as she held a piece of glass In her hand. She wondered if she had the guts to do it.
Gerard decided that he was going to go home. He knew that this would only lead to something bad. He was worried about Alyn, she was really distressed. He did non know why. Why did it scare him? He got off of the bench and walked home. It was not a long walk but it felt like it. Knowing he would have to face Alyn. Petrified. Was he that much of a monster, that messed up, he could not be loved by anyone? He walked into the warehouse and threw his jacket to the floor. He walked slowly to his desk and put his knife in the top drawer. He stopped making noise when he heard something. He heard Alyn crying, screaming and crying. He ran into the room she was in and looked at her on the floor. She was bleeding from her arms, holding a piece of glass in her hand to tight it was cutting her flesh. He stood there motionless. His mouth gaped open. Alyn looked up at him her blue eyes stained with tears and blood.
"I'm a monster."
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