Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Sobriety Diaries.
After speaking with my mom she brought in the rest of the “family”. What killed me to see was Mikey walk in with swollen eyes and a red blotchy face from crying. I didn’t really talk too much. I kept my head down mostly. Only nodding every now and then to seem like I was listening. I just kept thinking about how much I am hurting everyone. How they all really would be better off without having to worry about me. All these thoughts kept racing through my head and I had the sensation I was drowning in it all. I saw the tear droping onto my blanket before I even realized I was crying again. I was so sick of crying but I just couldn’t seem to stop. My attention was grabbed when I heard the mentioning of a counselor. I looked up wide eyed at Frank who had suggested it and he immediately froze on the spot.
“No” I whispered.
“Gee, c’mon. we all think it will help. You tried to get sober on your own and look where it landed you, in the goddamn hospital!”
“Frank, don’t yell at him!” Mikey snapped.
I heard muffled whispering and looked up to see everyone leaving except for Mikey. He approached my bed and sat next to me on it. I knew he was about to try and talk me into it, knowing it would be harder for me to say no to him versus anyone else.
“Gee, please just hear me out before you oject…please.”
“Okay..”
he takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.
“Do you know how fucking terrified I was when Frank called to say he had to call an ambulance for you cause he thought you had od’d? I was TERRIFIED Gerard. You’re my big brother, my protector. I love you. Since your drinking and drug use has spiked I’ve felt more like the big bro looking out for you. Dude, you need to speak to a therapist. You need that extra help otherwise you’re gonna keep spiraling downwards and eventually die. Call me fucking crazy but I don’t want to attend your funeral ANYtime soon.”
I sat there gob smacked. I was choking on the lump in my throat. I felt like I was gonna throw up. The room was starting to spin.
“Gee? Talk to me. Are you okay?”
next thing I knew I was leant over the side of my bed heaving, and I couldn’t stop.
I heard Mikey go into the hall for a nurse. Once my room was cleaned up I agreed to see the therapist. Mikey was happy but knew I wouldn’t open up and reveal a whole lot, but he said atleast it would be a start. Next I knew a woman was in my room sitting in a chair by my bed with a notepad, introducing herself as Kim Sankton.
“Hello Gerard.”
I look up and give her a slight nod.
“I see you’re here for alcohol and drug abuse?”
“Yes.” I whisper.
“Were you trying to kill yourself today Gerard?”
I rolled my eyes. This was gonna be a long half hour…
“No” I whispered.
“Gee, c’mon. we all think it will help. You tried to get sober on your own and look where it landed you, in the goddamn hospital!”
“Frank, don’t yell at him!” Mikey snapped.
I heard muffled whispering and looked up to see everyone leaving except for Mikey. He approached my bed and sat next to me on it. I knew he was about to try and talk me into it, knowing it would be harder for me to say no to him versus anyone else.
“Gee, please just hear me out before you oject…please.”
“Okay..”
he takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.
“Do you know how fucking terrified I was when Frank called to say he had to call an ambulance for you cause he thought you had od’d? I was TERRIFIED Gerard. You’re my big brother, my protector. I love you. Since your drinking and drug use has spiked I’ve felt more like the big bro looking out for you. Dude, you need to speak to a therapist. You need that extra help otherwise you’re gonna keep spiraling downwards and eventually die. Call me fucking crazy but I don’t want to attend your funeral ANYtime soon.”
I sat there gob smacked. I was choking on the lump in my throat. I felt like I was gonna throw up. The room was starting to spin.
“Gee? Talk to me. Are you okay?”
next thing I knew I was leant over the side of my bed heaving, and I couldn’t stop.
I heard Mikey go into the hall for a nurse. Once my room was cleaned up I agreed to see the therapist. Mikey was happy but knew I wouldn’t open up and reveal a whole lot, but he said atleast it would be a start. Next I knew a woman was in my room sitting in a chair by my bed with a notepad, introducing herself as Kim Sankton.
“Hello Gerard.”
I look up and give her a slight nod.
“I see you’re here for alcohol and drug abuse?”
“Yes.” I whisper.
“Were you trying to kill yourself today Gerard?”
I rolled my eyes. This was gonna be a long half hour…
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