Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Seconds From Insanity

Here I Stand

by Parawhore998 0 reviews


Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres:  - Published: 2010-04-24 - Updated: 2010-04-24 - 3536 words


A month on tour didn't change anything. The process was still the same. Fiona and I still weren't talking. I began thinking about the time where I talked with Lyn-Z from Mindless Self Indulgence. I had a heart to heart talk with Nathan and Matthew after the fight with Fiona. The guys told me about Rachel and I just thought about how much better life would have been if we didn't fight. What would life be like if we were like normal siblings? Nathan walked me back to the dressing room to see Fiona talking with Rachel. My sister smiled at Nathan and they both walked away hand in hand. We sat in silence for a few minutes before several knocks were made against the door. Before any of us could respond, a shitload of people emerged from the door.

Frank ran over to me as fast as he could. "Did you break your chin?" he examined me. "I don't know it hurts" I said. "What happened?" he asked me, glaring at Fiona. Everyone was surrounding us. "Was there a bitch fight?" Ville from HIM asked in his recognizable deep voice and a very charming Finish accent. "Dude, it's not funny" Cove from Saosin added. "Why were you girls fighting?" Frank asked me. Everyone started asking questions. Matthew suddenly walked in the room with Alexander and Collin. "What the fuck?" I heard Collin mumble. Then I saw Gerard appear beside Fiona from the corner of my eyes. They were talking and Gerard said something that made Fiona smile.

Gerard looked over to me. When he met my gaze he smiled back. I was confused. Isn't he going to slap me for messing with his "girlfriend"? I felt a light tap on my shoulder. I looked up to see Lyn-Z. She had some kind of smirk on her face. "Hi" I greeted. "Can I talk to you somewhere privately?" she asked. "I mean why not?" I followed her to another lounge and sat down beside her on the sofa. "What did you want to talk about?" I asked. We usually don't talk that much on a daily basis. Let's just say that we don't really talk to each other at all. I just want to know what's up.

"I guess that Fiona and Gerard are really together" she started. "Yeah" I grumbled. "There's no need to fight about this" she said. "But she's being a bitch. She's not herself anymore. Gerard is a dickhead for turning her into this person that I don't recognize" I rambled. "You can't possibly blame this on Gerard could you?" she looked at me sternly. "Of course I blame him. She wasn't like this before she met him" I yelled. "He has no tendency of changing people. He likes girls who can just be themselves around him. I think it's Fiona who wanted the change. Gerard didn't even take the time to know who she is to know that she isn't acting like herself" she explained.

"And how would you know that about him?" I asked, glaring at her questionably. "Because I used to go out with him" she answered. "What? Really? You used to go out with Gerard Way? How come I never knew that? No one knew that" I was shocked. I was a die hard MCR fan and I still didn't know about Gerard's past love life. "He liked to keep our relationship private. He didn't want to display it in public, just not yet. He told me that we could when we get married but I suppose that's not going to happen now"

"I'm sorry. I knew that Fiona going out with Gerard wasn't the best idea" I rubbed my temples. "He likes her so let them be" she sighed. "Why'd you guys break up?" I questioned. "It’s my fault. I thought that he was ashamed to be seen with me since he wouldn't let anyone know that he's going out with me, not even his own parents. I broke up with him. Mikey called me a few days later and told me that Ger was planning to propose to me. Breaking up with him was the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life" she bit her lips and shook her head. "I don't think Fiona is being herself around him, he can't possibly fall for someone who can't stick to herself can she?"

"I don't know" Lyn-Z shrugged. "I want to help you get him back. You deserve him more than Fiona and it's not just because I hate her now" I told her truthfully. "I’m not sure if I deserve him but can we just forget we ever had this conversation?"

And I still didn't forget about this conversation up to this day. "Let's hustle mates!" Collin shouted. "What the hell are we hustling for?" I asked. "We are going to California for god’s sake!" he yelled. "That’s great! I'm from Chicago though" I fake smiled at him. "California is going to be great. We will be in the hotel for one night when we get there. Linkin Park is almost finished with their set. When their done we meet the fans outside and then we head for Cali hell yes!" he pulled me into a hug, jumping up and down.

The door was open; Nathan and Rachel came in giggling. They stopped and stared at us. Collin quickly removed his arms around me. Nathan glared at Collin like he was ready to kill. What was that about? "Hey we're going to Cali!" I yelled, running towards them to break the awkward mood. I started dancing and those two just glared at me. I stuck my tongue at them and continue to dance. "Hey I should do the strip tease kind of thing" I laughed jokingly. Collin's eyes grew wide and I winked. "And how many guys will you be able to hypnotize?" Rachel's voice was cold.

"I'm only kidding" I giggled. "I know" she said. "Then stop being a bitch and forgive me already!" I yelled. "How can I forgive you?" she shouted back at me. "Because I was young and naive and I only wanted revenge. I won't do anything else to hurt you anymore. You are my sister. I actually want to have a normal life with a normal relationship with my sibling" I explained. "I don't think I can ever trust you again" she rolled her eyes. "Rachel, it was one time. I stopped doing drugs and smoking. I can't even remember the last time I had sex with someone. I've been clean for a long time. What can I possibly do wrong now?"

"Maybe take everything good in my life away from me" she mumbled. "Rachel I won't take Matthew or Nathan away from you. I didn't even prevent Frank from talking to you. If you went out with Alex then you'd probably try to take him away from me. I'm Frank's girlfriend and I'm perfectly fine with you guys being friends and on talking terms. I'm not taking anyone away from you" I said truthfully.

"Would it be right to forgive you? Can I trust you?" Rachel was starting to reconsider this idea. "I believe you can trust me. And I will start to trust you as well. I just want a simple normal relationship with my sister. I don't want to fight and hate anymore. I just want love" I expressed my feelings freely to my sister. I didn't care if Nathan or Collin were on the sidelines listening in to our conversation.

"Okay I believe you" she smiled and pulled me into a hug. "This is perfect" I mumbled. "I hope the rest of our lives would be perfect" she said. The guys suddenly began clapping their hands. I didn't notice the other guys walking in the room. "And by the way, Skye, when was the last time you had sex with a man?" she asked. "Um..." I thought back to Tom. "It was with this guy I was with in Chicago" I answered, not wanting to specify the person.

"Okay that's all I need to hear" she smiled at me. We both linked arms and sat down on the couch besides Matthew and Alexander. "Finally girls, finally" Alex said, hugging Rachel. That's when I realized how much Alexander missed being friends with her. I mean who doesn't want to have a connection with Rachel? Everybody wanted to know her. It's always been that way. "Where's Fiona? Is she still with Gerard?" Casey asked. "I guess so" I mumbled bitterly. "She left her bra here" he held up her light blue bra. "I think I'll go give it to her" a smile crept on my face. I'd love to see Gerard's reaction when I throw a bra at him. Casey nodded and handed me her bra.

I walked out of the room and walked to the main stage. A plan was developing in my head. I can easily lie and tell Gerard that Casey took it off when they were having a make out session. I can tell Gerard any old lie when I'm holding her bra in my hands. This is a perfect moment for their break up. She didn't deserve him. Lyn-Z did. She was the one who loved him for who he was. She cared about her dignity. She was willing to break up with him. Fiona wouldn't have cared less if he didn't want to make their relationship public. She only wanted him because he's a rock star.

My smile was growing wider when I turned the doorknob. I opened the door, expecting to see Gerard and Fiona making out on the couch. My eyes grew wide and my jaw dropped opened at what I actually saw. I couldn't believe my eyes. Did I just see what I’m seeing? I had to pinch myself a few times. Frank was on top of Fiona. Their lips didn't break apart and both of their shirts were thrown onto the ground. They finally noticed my presence and broke apart.

Frank stared at me wide eyed. "Does Gerard know about this?" I asked coldly. They both slowly shook their heads. "Skye, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to" he pleaded. "I knew I shouldn't fall in love with rock stars, they can't stay loyal to you" I yelled. "I’m sorry" Frank started to walk closer to me. "Stay away from me" I backed away. Fiona just stood there, frozen. "I can't believe you would do this to me" I turned to Fiona; tears are beginning to form in my eyes. How could my former friend betray me like that?

"I’m sorry I didn't mean to either. It was a mistake" she defended. "Oh is it?" I rolled my eyes. "I didn't mean to, please don't tell Gerard" she begged. "I can't promise anything" I growled, exiting the room. I slammed the door as hard as I could. I found a hiding spot near the equipment area. I hid in the corner and started to cry. My boyfriend just cheated on me. I could feel my heart sinking right now. I told him I loved him. I thought he loved me too. I can't believe I trusted him for a whole month. It was like my trust didn’t mean a thing to him at all.

"Skye?" a male's voice interrupted my agony. I looked up at Gerard. I shook my head. He sighed and took a seat next to me. "Can you tell me what's bothering you?" he asked me. I nodded. "Frank cheated" I cried, burying my head in his chest. He wrapped his arms around me, stroking my hair gently. We sat there in silence for several minutes. "I'm sorry I didn't know. When did this happen? I'm going to talk to him about this" he finally spoke up. "Dude, he cheated on me with Fiona" I yelled, lifting my face up to meet his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. "She..." he was dazed. He got up and walked away robotically, “No wait” I called out after him. He didn’t look back, he just walked away.

I can't believe this is happening. Fiona told me I was a whore. Then what does this make her now? I want to rip her to pieces. Did she do that for revenge? What is she getting from this anyways? Did Gerard really believe me? Is he really going to break it off between him and Fiona? I hope so. This better be one good thing coming out of this situation. I decided to go back to my dressing room. I tried to clean up my face before I walked through the door. Everybody was preparing to leave when I walked in. "Did you give Fiona the... Skye are you okay?" Alex asked me, pulling me into a hug immediately.

I couldn't help but start crying again. "Who did this? I'm going to kick their fucking asses. I'm going to kill Fiona. Or Gerard? Who the fuck did this to you?" Alexander asked, obviously angry. Nobody would want to mess with him at this moment. He could easily kick anybody's ass. Frank better be scared. "Can we not talk about this? I don't want to talk about it" I sniffed. "Its okay, tell me when you are ready. I don't want to force you into anything" he whispered in my ear, trying his best to sooth me. He is a really good friend. I would never want to lose him.

Everyone was looking at me confused. I ignored their gazes and walked onto our tour bus. Nathan, Matthew, and Rachel decided to stay on our bus to try and keep me company. They wanted to be there for me. That's all that matters now. Rachel is willing to help me overcome this unknown issue. They didn't care what it was; they are willing to stay on this bus for me. I got several texts from Frank but I decided to ignore them. He doesn't deserve a second chance. I don't care if he's fucking Frank Iero. If he can't stay true to me then he doesn't deserve me.

About two hours later, I managed to cool down a bit. I told myself to get over him. I can move on and have someone who really loves me by my side. I haven't found that person yet but it will come to me naturally. I want to find someone who loves me for who I am and won't hurt me. People make mistakes but this one is a big one. What will happen to Fiona and me now? Do we kick her out of the band for being so careless? That would be a really selfish thing to do. I shook my head, clearing the thoughts out.

"Would you like to tell us what happened?" Nathan asked. Rachel slapped him. "Stop being so straightforward give her some time first" I heard her mumble to him. He gave my sister a look of sorry. "No it's okay I think I can handle this now" I said as Alex and Casey walked over to my bunk. "What’s up?" Casey asked. He looked really curious as well. It's a good thing that they care about me. I know they all love me. Not in a relationship kind of way. But I know that they have my back no matter what happens so I'm grateful for that. I don't give a fuck about Frank anymore.

"Frank cheated on me with Fiona" I announced. They gasped and began their chatter. They looked at me with sympathy. I rolled my eyes. I didn't need them to feel sorry for me. "Frank's a dead man" Alex growled. "Alex, it's okay. It's not a big deal anymore. I'm over him already. Just drop it" I said. "Fine, but if he hurts you anymore, I'll punch his pretty face" he cracked his knuckles. "Is this why Fiona didn't get on this bus?" Matthew asked. I nodded. "I’m sorry" he pulled me into a hug.

We arrived to Los Angeles at night. The managers gave us each our individual room key for the hotel. We can finally sleep on real hotel beds. I love hotels. They always make you feel like a VIP. Well at least most hotels make you feel like that. "Let’s go!" Collin was excited of course. We all walked into the hotel lobby. I always loved hotels especially if the lobby looked really fancy. I absolutely love this hotel. We looked for our room number on the card and headed for the elevator. My room is on the same floor as Lyn-Z's which is pretty fortunate. We got off on the same floor and began the chatter.

"I'm sorry about Frank" she said to me. "Its okay I don't mind anymore" I replied. "Are you sure?" she looked like she didn't believe me. "I don't know. But our relationship didn't really go that far so it's okay. It's the shortest relationship I ever had with anyone. The ending of my other relationships hurt but this one didn't hurt as much" I said honestly. "Well Frank's a dick for letting you go like that. Fiona should never have done this to you or Gerard. I can't believe Frank would do this to him as well" she wondered aloud.

"Gerard didn't deserve this bullshit either" I added. "He went through too much. It makes me feel worst for dumping him" she frowned. "Don’t worry about it, everything will be just fine. I promise you" I said to her. "I will believe you then. Thanks for dealing with my bullshit anyways" she hugged me before walking into her room. I found my room and quickly went in. I was so happy about my new room. It looked great. I forgot to ask how long we are staying here. I wish we can stay here for a week.

I fell on the bed and closed eyes for a few minutes. The room phone began to ring so I picked up. "Hello?" "Hey Skye its Nathan" he said. "Hey, what's up?" I asked. "I left my iPod in your bag, would you bring it to my room?" he asked. "Yeah, I’m coming" I cursed myself for leaving his stuff in my bag. "I’m in room 420 okay?" he asked. "Yeah I think I know that" I replied. "Okay then" I hung up the phone. I looked in my bag and found his iPod. I exited my room and got in the elevator.


"Have you guys seen Skye?" I asked Mateo and Dan. "Nope, why?" they stared at me with confusion. "I just wanted to make sure she was okay" I answered. "Maybe she went out to eat" Mateo suggested. "Yeah that's a possibility" I nodded. "I'll just check her room again. Maybe she's back now" I nodded. "Alright have fun looking for her" Dan called out. I left the hotel cafe and into the elevator. I’ve been looking for her for the past hour, I just wonder where she could have been. When I got to the floor, I saw Alexander passing by. "Looking for Skye aren't you?" he asked. I nodded. "She’s not in her room. I saw her on our floor before. She told me she's going to return Nathan’s iPod"

What? This can't be. Please don't tell me what I think is happening is actually happening. "Nathan's on your floor right?" I asked to make sure. Alexander nodded. "I’ve been looking for her for a really long time" I announced. "I was looking for her as well. I figured she already came back so I didn’t bother checking Nathan’s room. Nathan took her out to eat to make her feel better or they are still in his room bonding or talking" I just hope that's it. "Okay I'll check Nathan’s room now" I said my goodbye to Alex. I took the stairs and he took the elevator.

What will I see when I go to Nathan’s room? I need to trust Nathan as well as Skye. They would never do this to me. My heart was pounding. I hope nothing happened between them. I was beginning to trust Skye more. I just hope she won't let me down. But I'm sure nothing would happen. I'm just being over dramatic here. I stopped at the 4th floor and walked down the hall. I found Nathan's room.

I press my ears against the door. There was some moaning going on in there. No, no, no. This can't be happening. No, no, no Nathan would never do this to me. I covered my mouth and I started crying. The more moaning I heard, the deeper my heart sank. Skye promised she’s never doing this to me. Nathan promised me as well. "Nate!" I heard Skye groan. I couldn't take this anymore. I ran up to the corner of the hall and fell on my knees. I couldn’t feel anything anymore.
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