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Gerard's P.O.V

"Come on Gee you've got to eat" Mikey insisted, waving a plate of toast underneath my nose.
"Toooassssttt" he giggled. I just gave him a blank look, making no effort to move or do anything.
"Jeez, don't get to excited Gerard. It's just toast dude" He sighed and sat down the toast on the table in-front of me. Ever since Lydia left I've not done anything. I haven't ate, slept or showered. I go out on stage most nights and sing my heart out as if everything's great. But inside I feel cold and hollow. I've never wanted a drink so bad in my life. Frank used to keep us updated about Lydia but I burst into tears each time she was mentioned so he gave up. I'm pretty sure he still tells the guys.

Today we were back in New Jersey. I wanted some holiday time to see my parents and such but apparently there isn't any.
"Gerard?" I looked up to see Ray looking down at me worridly.
"When did you last eat?" he asked, with a slight frown. Honestly I had no idea so I just shrugged. He sighed.
"You have to eat. Or at least fucking shower. Imagine if Lydia walked in right now and saw you li-"
"Please don't" I whispered.
"No Gerard. I'm fed up watching you getting thinner and dirtier. Imagine Lydia walking through right now, she would be ashamed dude. She'd kick your ass in the shower and practically cram food down your throat. So at least fucking do something" Ray stared at me sorta daring me to actually move. What he said was true. I knew it myself but I just didn't want to admit it. As I stood up I caught my own scent. Oh dear god that could kill someone. You know its pretty bad when you disgust yourself.

Everyone stared in amazment as I came out of the bathroom, clean for once. I still didn't feel hungry but it was a start. I felt like maybe I would be okay after all. I've got 2 weeks till this...MY kid is meant to be born. 2 weeks to pull everything together.
"GERARD!!!!" screamed Frank from the otherside of the bus. I ran from side to the other. Frank was clutching the phone to his chest. He looked like he was about to burst into tears.
"Something's happened" he whispered.
"W-what? What happened Frank?!"