FicWad

I feigned a smile into my vanity mirror. I supposed that I looked alright. I looked over my shoulder at my closet. A mixture of clean and worn clothes were spilling out of the doors. Mum had stopped offering to do my laundry. I didn’t really have any patience to hang up my own clothes, so they started collecting at the bottom of my closet. I shuffled about two feet to my closet, and started to sift through the clothes with my foot, reluctant to start looking through. I sat on my bed and glanced at my clock. It was five to ten. Brendon, Ryan, Spencer and Jon were supposed to come and pick me up at around ten for a New Years party that Audrey was holding at her house. I only had about five minutes until a car would roll up to my house and then three familiar boys would come stomping up to my room and annoy me until we left.

I started to dig through my pile of clothes. It surprisingly took me only three minutes to find an outfit that hadn’t already been worn. I planned on wearing some normal dark colored skinnies, and with a baggy t-shirt that had little Korean figures on them. I know it wasn’t really classy or special, but New Years was just another day, really. I heard laughter from outside, and I knew that they were here.

I quickly clasped a necklace around my neck, and let the silver pendant hang loosely on my collar bone. I slipped on some skater shoes, swiftly put on some body spray, and started walking downstairs. There was a knock on the door. I grabbed my jacket from the front hall closet, and faced my mom quickly. She was just sitting on the couch, looking through a home and garden magazine.

“Uh, I guess I’m leaving now.” I said. She continued to flip through her magazine nonchalantly. “Happy New Years.” She nodded, barely even looking away from her reading material. I felt down crest. I feigned a smile before I opened the door, so that my friends wouldn’t notice.

Brendon, Jon, Spencer and Ryan were standing outside, most likely expecting me to invited them in. I rushed outside, and closed the door. I could see my own breath, and I threw on my jacket.

“Alright.” I said. They looked kind of disappointed, but I ushered them down the path and towards Ryan’s car.

“I’m excited.” Jon said as he slid into the middle of the back seat and buckled himself in. Spencer got in the front seat. I sat next to Jon, and closed the door.

“Can I drive?” Brendon asked Ryan just after I buckled myself in. I didn’t hear any answer, but Ryan sliding into the back seat on the other side of Jon was a perfectly good answer for me. He smiled at me, and I feigned a smile at him and waved back. Brendon started to talk loudly. I felt my eyes start to fill with tears. I looked down at my hands folded in my lap. I blinked, and a tear fell down onto my knee. I felt Jon shuffle closer to me, and I turned my head to look out the window. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders. It felt so different and foreign from Ryan’s.

“You ok?” He whispered. I shrugged.

“My mom has been ignoring me. I don’t know, maybe I over-reacted.” My voice was barely a whisper. I hastily wiped away a tear and looked back at my lap. He hugged me tighter. It was quite strange having someone else’s arm around you when you’ve only had one set for the last few months. I subconsciously felt uncomfortable, but I shook it off since Jon was one of my best friends.

“She’s probably just confused about Duane and moving from London. Remember that time we were over and Mike visited? He was a big jerk.” I nodded, smiling a little. I leaned into Jon in gratitude.

“Thanks.” I half smiled. With my peripherals, I saw Ryan looking rather disappointed in his own seat. My heart thumped guiltily in my chest. He sank down lower, and I rested my head on the window, wanting to immediately stop lying on Jon. My head bumped rapidly against the cold glass. Jon withdrew his arm, and patted me on the back. I sat back in my seat once again, simply listening to Brendon, Jon, and Spencer talk. I had noticed that Ryan wasn’t saying anything either. We slowed down to a stop. I looked back out of the window. We were pulling up to Audrey’s house. Cars were already parked up and down her long driveway. She had a large, three storey house. Her parents owned a large chain of expensive clothing stores all around Nevada. They had paid for Audrey’s modeling lessons, her car (it was quite nice) and all of her necessities, even though Audrey had a part time job at one of her parent’s stores, and a blooming modeling career.

Jon guided me out of the car and onto the sidewalk. I looked around. It was dark, and there was a loud pulse of music coming from inside the house. Jon waited for Spencer to slowly get out of the car, and then they started walking towards the large house. I slid myself out of the car. Ryan was searching for something underneath the front seat. Brendon fiddled with his cell phone for a moment.

“Audrey just texted me. I’ll meet you guys inside.” I nodded and Brendon walked towards the house as well, dialing numbers on his phone. I fidgeted, waiting for Ryan to emerge from the back seat. I played with the pendant on my necklace carefully; examining it to make sure it hadn’t been damaged in any way. It was the necklace that Ryan had bought me for Christmas. I placed the thin, sterling silver leaf ornament back on my chest as if it wasn’t suspended from a thin chain. I knocked on the back window and smiled in. Ryan looked at me, and then got out of the car.

“Where’d everyone go?” He asked. I shrugged.

“They went inside already.”

“You could have gone with them.” He mumbled.

I shook my head to signify no. He grinned and closed the door, making sure he had locked it. He jingled the keys in his pocket. We started to walk along the snowy path. When we got to the front door, I didn’t bother ringing the doorbell. Ryan and I walked in. There weren’t that many people. I guessed that there were only forty or fifty others throughout the whole house. There was alcohol and cigars being passed around. I wasn’t really into either of them. Liquor was overdone in junior high, with many regrets, and I thought that smoking was simply disgusting. I guessed that Ryan wasn’t into to either, as well. We sat down on the large couch in the living room. There were about fifteen other people separated into their own groups.

Ryan and I sat quietly for a few minutes. It was odd since usually, we were always talking, and always had something to either discuss or complain about. He was sitting about a foot away from me, with his hands resting on his lap as usual. I looked at his hands for a few moments, gathering my courage. I dragged my hand slowly across the couch, and then interlaced my finger with his. He looked down at his own hands, and then looked at me, straight into my eyes. My stomach jumped around as I felt him grasp my hand back.

“Ryan? Is that, like, you? Oh Em Gee!”

My heart stopped, and my muscles seemed to freeze. I slipped my hand out of Ryan’s and scooted away from him. I looked up at Shaye Channel, who was looking intently down upon Ryan.

“Hey.” He said simply.

My heart dropped. Shaye sat down right in between us, sitting diagonally facing Ryan, blocking me out with her back. I crossed my arms and moved over more. I was so disappointed.

“How have you, like, been? I’ve totally missed you. You were the only one for me, Ryan. Like, I know what I did was, like, extremely not OK, but I really like, love you.” She gushed.

I stood up, not wanting to hear anything else. I was sick to my stomach. Secretly, I wanted to stay to listen to Ryan tell her off, but my head was spinning and the pounding in my heart made me afraid that he wouldn’t.

“Wait! Delilah!” I stopped a few steps away. I turned around hopefully. He was already standing, trying to make his way around the circular glass coffee table, leaving Shaye sitting, absolutely in awe. He grabbed my hand, placing his fingers in between my own. Strange warmth spread throughout my hand, yet my heart was still pounding fiercely against my rib cage, although I don’t think it was because of disappointment anymore. He looked at me, his face was stern, and he looked upset. He gently pulled me closer to himself and started to walk at a quick pace, leaving me trying to catch up with him by lightly jogging. I felt absolutely elated.

“WAIT! OH! YOU’RE GOING TO REGRET EVER MEETING ME, RYAN ROSS!” He turned around to face her, with fire in his eyes.

“I ALREADY DO!” He yelled. Even though she had screamed at the top of her lungs, the power in Ryan’s voice seemed to overcast everything she had yelped, making it seem small and insignificant. She shrieked and stomped her shoes into the ground, breaking the heel on her left shoe, which in turn made her topple backwards. There was laughter from everyone in the room. Cat calls and yells were coming from almost everyone that wasn’t still laughing at Shaye’s stroke of unintelligence.

“Good Job, Channel!”

I had my hand covering my mouth in shock as Ryan started to pull me into the next room.

“It’s pronounced Shuh-Nel, not Cha-nul, you idiot!” It was the last thing I heard Shaye scream before we had left.

I could still hear the disagreement from others in the room, “No! My dad knows your dad. That’s not how your dad says it.”

Ryan was half dragging me through the kitchen. We went up some stairs at a fast pace, and then some how ended up in a large, unoccupied private library. He sat me down in a two seated sofa, and he sat himself down right beside me, now holding my hand more gently. I saw him looking at my face as I watched him gently stroke my hand with his index finger. It amazed me how he could drag me through half of a large house, and yet not harm me in any way.

“I’m so sorry.” He broke the silence. I tore my gaze away from our hands, and looked at him, confused.

“Why?” I asked. I didn’t understand why he was apologizing to me. He hadn’t done anything wrong at all. Quite the opposite, actually.

“For ever dating Shaye.”

“Well, I guess she’s on everyone’s list.” I shrugged. He shook his head.

“No. Well, I do regret it, but that’s not what I meant. I regret it mainly because I hurt you.” I stared deeply into his eyes, wondering exactly what he was thinking. I was lost for words. He sighed. “I was going to ask you out, you know. A-and then after I was going out with Shaye, Brendon asked you out and I got extremely jealous. And I ignored you when I was with Shaye. I don’t even know why I did that. You’re really special to me. And I think I mean more than a friend.” I froze. My heart felt like it was vibrating in my ribcage. Even though he was just rambling, he was stating everything I’ve ever imagined before I fell asleep at night. My whole body seemed to tingle for a moment.

“Ryan Ross! How dare you!” The door swung open and slammed against the door stopper violently. Ryan and I whipped our heads simultaneously towards the entrance. Shaye was limping with one heel on her foot and the broken shoe in her hand. She looked fierce. I didn’t say anything. “Let go of her hand while I’m talking to you!” She squealed. I tried to twitch my hand away, but Ryan’s hand remained rock solid on my own. Shaye charged forward, grabbed my wrist and wrenched it away from underneath Ryan’s. She grabbed the front of my shirt and pushed me to the very side of the couch.

“Hey!” Ryan stood up and was quickly stopped by Shaye.

“HOW! DARE! YOU!” She said in between fits of anger. I got up and stood by the door. I didn’t want to leave Ryan alone with her, but I was nervous about her getting physically angry with me once more. “I gave everything I had just to be with you!”

“What are you talking about? Move out of my way.” He said sternly.

“Oh, I see. You want to be with her? What does she have that I don’t? She’s just some little freak with no sense of fashion. She’s way too thin. She’s like a little skeleton. She comes off as a nice person, but I know she’s just a nosy little bitch. She’s the biggest loser in the world. No one likes her, if you haven’t noticed. And, quite frankly, she’s very unattractive.” Ryan glared at her. I drew back. I didn’t know that’s what everyone thought of me. I felt gross and ugly, and I wanted to hide. My eyes started to fill with tears.

“You’re right.”

I couldn’t believe what Ryan had just said. Right after he had apologized for hurting me. Tears started to pour down my cheeks and drip off of my chin. “I do want to be with her. And I’m glad she’s everything you’ve said about her. So what if her fucking fashion sense is different? She doesn’t dress like a slut like you. So what If she’s thin? That honestly means nothing to me. I’m going to be her friend no matter what she weighs. So what if she’s not popular? I don’t give a fuck about any of the stuff you said Shaye. And I’m glad you think she’s unattractive, because your idea of beauty is pounds of make up and clothes that don’t cover anything. She’s more beautiful than you’ll ever be. Get out of my way!” My feet were placed together and my elbows were clenched to my sides with my hands placed over my mouth a nose, tears still streaming furiously down my cheeks. Shaye’s back was facing me, and I knew Ryan watching me. Shaye turned towards me, her eyes lustrous and wet. She stomped towards the door, pushing me to the floor. I watched her slam the door behind her. I was sitting on my bum with my legs spread out on the floor. I buried my face in my own hands.

“D-Delilah?” I started to shake when he whispered my own name into my ear. “Are you alright?” I suppressed a sob and shook my head ‘no’. I felt him kneeling down in between my legs, and his arms wrapped around my waist in his familiar, comfortable way. I hung my hands over his shoulders and nestled my face into the crook of his neck as I continued to cry. The proverbial scent of his cologne calmed me, and after a while I stopped crying, but I did not move from where I was.

“Did you mean what you said?” My voice was almost unrecognizable, shaky and quiet.

“Of course I did.” There was a certain amount of sincerity and certainty in the tone of his voice that made me shiver. There was a loud knocking on the door. I was nervous that it would be Shaye for a moment. I raised my head from its relaxed position. The door creaked open slowly. Audrey’s smiling face quickly turned into concern.

“What happened?” She began to walk into the room, but I stood up quickly.

“Nothing. Everything’s alright.” I said calmly. It wasn’t a lie. I felt kind of content, like the relief you get when winter’s finally over, or waking up on a Saturday morning and getting to sleep in longer because there’s no school.

“Alright. Everyone’s going to be near the TV so we can watch the countdown. You two coming?” She backed out of the room a bit. I nodded. She smiled retreated out of the door. I looked at Ryan. He was trying to get up, but it looked like his knees were stiff. I rushed over and grabbed his hands and tried to aid him in an effort to help him stand. He was looking straight at me. He hadn’t let go of my hands after he was upright. His eyes were a mesmerizing hazel color.

“Ten… nine…” I guessed that they were starting the countdown without us. I wondered where Shaye went. “Eight… Seven…” Ryan seemed to be getting closer. “Six… five…” Ryan’s hands were resting on the small of my back. I placed my hands on each of his shoulders. “Four… three…” I heard someone running up a staircase in the hallway, but I paid no attention to it. There wasn’t anything in the world that could possibly distract me from Ryan right now. “Two… One…”

“HAPPY NEW YEARS!” Our heads jerked away from each other to face the door once more. Brendon was running straight at us, with no apparent intention to stop. He staggered a little, meaning that he was probably already tanked out of his mind.

“Wait! BRENDON!”

I’m sure all of Audrey’s guests downstairs were wondering what the big crashing noise from upstairs could possibly be, unless they already knew that it was at least a hundred books falling from their shelves and two teenagers collapsing under the force of their drunk friend running straight into them.