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“Delilah, what are you doing?” asked Jon.

“I’m trying to make time go faster.” I replied.

“By flicking your hands at the clock?”

“It works for Harry Potter.” I argued. I stopped gesturing towards the clock and groaned. I relaxed back in my chair. My gaze was still set on the clock.

“Don’t worry, only an hour left!” Spencer said optimistically. I groaned again. He was leaning back on his chair, making an impatient beat by slapping his hands on his thighs.

The whole gang (Ry, Bren, Jon, Spence, Brent and I) were sitting restlessly at one of the square tables in the library. We were waiting for the final bell to ring to release us into Winter Holidays. A whole three week vacation! Las Vegas weather just meant that it would be a little summer vacation. Back in London, during winter break there was always at least two feet of snow. Everyone was cheery and in the Christmas spirit.

Except for me.

I wasn’t going to have a proper Christmas this year. Partially because I was stubborn, but mostly because Mum was going over to Mr. Stoermer’s house for Christmas eve and Christmas morning. I was invited to join the ‘family festivities’ (as my mum lovingly put it), I would rather die. Spend my bloody Christmas with Mike and Duane? No thank you.

“Let’s just leave already!”
Since my mom was working late tonight, and then going for dinner with Duane, everyone was coming over to my house to say their goodbyes until after Christmas, and exchange presents. I was excited because I knew that everyone would love the presents I got them. I was a little nervous about funds a few weeks ago, but since then, Audrey offered me a job at her parent’s clothing store at the mall.

“We could just leave you know.” Jon sighed and took a long look at the clock, as if he could change time with his mind, and then looked back at us. I perked up. Spencer stopped tilting his chair back and leaned in closer to the table.

“No, dude. My teacher’s right there.” Brent shook his head. I slumped myself over the table while Spencer started to lean back on the two back legs of his chair.

I sighed. “Let’s just go, you wuss. He’s as blind as a pole, he won’t notice.” Brent shook his head negatively. “Ugh! I’m sick of just waiting. Jesus, let’s just go to Starbucks or something.” Jon stood up, stretching slightly.

“Amen to that.” He yawned. “My teacher probably didn’t even notice that I left. She’s probably sitting there sipping coffee and doing nothing as usual.”

“Tell me about it. If Mr. Cheng asks why I didn’t come back to class on Monday, I’ll just tell him that I was having my period or something, and then he’ll just stutter and turn red. Like last time. You coming Brendon? There’s no point in staying here since you just skipped the entire period.”

“Haha, yeah.”

“Ryan?” Ryan stretched himself over the pentagonal table like a cat, and nodded, enjoying his stretch before standing up. We all looked at Brent, simply sitting there like nothing, scratching away at his C.A.L.M. project.

“So…” Brendon tried to gain his attention. “Just meet us at Starbucks when you’re finished.”

“I don’t think I can come.” I looked at Jon, and he gave me an ‘I-told-you-he’s-a-dick’ look, and I shook my head. I went over to Brent, and gave him an awkward hug.

“Happy Holidays.” He just nodded, and muttered a meager, ‘you too’. I frowned, and turned away, walking out of the library as fast as I could. I turned down the hallway and walked towards my locker. I was a little sad, but angrier that just because Brent didn’t get what he wanted, that he was going to try and ruin our day. I didn’t even see what the big problem was with bloody leaving him for half an hour. He wasn’t even talking to us, anyways. I heard Brendon singing my name from down the hallway. Brent had been telling me how he felt left out when everyone was together since I had come, like the odd man out. No wonder- he was always excluding himself. I couldn’t believe that he was blaming me. I finally reached my locker and grasped the lock firmly.

“Delilah?”

I snapped, “What?” and fiddled with my lock in frustration. The damn thing never seemed to open for me. I felt someone’s hand on my shoulder, but I just ignored them, playing with my lock.

“Hey.” Ryan’s low and masculine voice filled my ears. I turned around to face him. I saw Brendon, Jon and Spencer standing sheepishly at the end of the hall, being lectured by an angry teacher. They weren’t on my mind, though. Ryan’s hand seemed to warm my whole shoulder, and I felt like melting right on the floor. “Don’t worry about Brent. We can drop off the present you bought him later if you want. I’ll drive you. He’s just being like this because he left the band.”

“What?” I tried to act surprised, I really did. But since a few weeks ago, and the way he had been acting, I knew it was coming. He really was trying to run everyone’s lives for them. Even mine. He told me that it was a bad idea to hang out with Audrey, and when Ryan and I planned something, we had to let him tag along since he assumed that we were planning for three.

“Yeah. Spencer mentioned the idea of trying Jon as the main bassist, and then he started yelling and swearing. Brendon told him that maybe it would be a good idea to switch Jon to main bassist permanently, and that Brent could be back up, and he flipped out again, and just quit. Then he came back the next day, apologizing, wanting to come back, and we decided that we couldn’t let him.”

I thought for a moment. “Oh, gosh.” He nodded.

He said, “Well, lets go to Starbucks.” After a few moments of near silence, we could still hear the teacher yelling at the top of his lungs about being too loud in the hallway.


*


Ryan pulled up on the street in front of my house after Brendon had taken up all of the room in the driveway with his careless parking. I got out of his car, and jumped into a big pile of snow. I kicked the frozen fluff up in the air, shuffling through the almost knee deep snow. I looked over at Ryan, and beckoned him over with my mitten adorned hand. He jumped in after me, following the path I had made. I saw Jon jogging over to me, and I opened my arms wide, in anticipation of a hug, but instead, he picked me up, and plopped me into a snow bank. Melted snow started to run down my back through the collar of my jacket.

“Jon!” I shrieked. I jumped up, and tried to shake the snow out of my jacket. Brendon came up behind me, and hugged me, pressing the snow against my bare back. I shrieked once more and jumped onto the walkway leading up to my path, except it was covered in ice, and I lost my balance, quickly falling back into the snow. “I give up!” I listened to them laughing loudly. I felt my face get hot with embarrassment. I covered my face, forgetting that my mittens had a thin layer of snow on them. I took my hands away from my face, and saw Ryan’s upside down face peering down at me, smiling. His hands slid underneath me, and cupped my upper ribcage, helping me up with surprising strength. As soon as I was on my feet, He helped me swat away the snow that was on my back. Brendon and Jon were already looking at us from inside the house. I didn’t remember unlocking the front door.

“How…?” I arched my eyebrow at them, trying to hide my smile. At that point, I saw my mother bustle into the living room with a tray of cookies and some glasses. I noticed a pitcher of milk already of the coffee table. I rolled my eyes and started to walk towards the door. Ryan linked my arm on the icy walkway. I couldn't help but smile.

“Delilah!” My mother shuffled over to me and gave me a kiss on the forehead. “Ryan! Come in, dear! Come on, don’t be shy. Come help yourself.” She gave Ryan a hug and a kiss on his forehead, and started to put her shoes on. I looked around the house. It certainly wasn’t this… uh… festively decorated when I left for school this morning. There were small candles that resembled reindeer and Christmas trees. There were strands of tinsel hanging off of anything that had a hook.

“I thought you were supposed to be working late?”

“I got the day off, dear. Sorry to disappoint you,” Motherly sarcasm really did suit her. I rolled my eyes. “But I’m still going out with Duane tonight. But, I need to do some shopping for the party tonight. Are you sure you’re not coming?” I remained silent, looking at her with pity. She really was mentally challenged. She shook her head. “You boys behave. You too, darling. Happy Christmas!” I nodded.

“Bye Sherron!” Brendon called from the living room. I gave him a dirty look, while my mum gave him a glowing, loving one. She waved and when she was only seconds from closing the door, she peeked her head back in, and said,

“Shouldn’t you be at school still?”

“BYE MUM!” I helped her close the door, narrowly missing her face in the door. She’ll be miffed when she comes home. I ran upstairs and stood looking at the person reflecting in the mirror. There were things about her that have changed. Not necessarily appearance. Actually, that was quite the same. She ruffled her damp hair. Even though she wore a thin amount of make-up, it was running down her cheeks like twin waterfalls. The apples of her cheeks and the tip of her nose were bitten from the cold and red. Before I had moved from London, I would have considered myself ugly and a mess in this state. I certainly wouldn’t call myself beautiful. Maybe it was because I’d started hanging out with boys that think appearance doesn’t mean much. I half smirked, and wiped away my running make-up and ruffled my hair, just for the sake of not looking like something that had just emerged from the swamp. I went to my room and got Ryan, Jon, Spencer’s and Brendon’s present, and went back downstairs. All that was left of the plate of cookies were only a few crumbs, and the milk jug only held the last remaining drops that lay at the bottom of the jug.

“Alright lads!” I grabbed Brendon’s present, and smiled at it. I had bought him that American Apparel sweater that he had been complaining about for the longest time. He was so miffed when he found out that they accidentally sold his reserved to someone else. They sold it to me instead. I was way too desperate to wait for something else that he wanted. I gave him the rectangular package, and he tried to peek at the box. “Don’t you dare.” I smiled at his disappointed face and groan. I gave Jon a smaller package. Inside was the entire season of Deal or No Deal. I almost didn’t buy it for him, but I remembered how much he complained every time he missed an episode. He smiled. Spencer’s present held a t-shirt that I thought would look great on him, it was a dark purple with striking yellow letters. He thanked me when I handed it to him.

I quickly gave Ryan his present. I had no clue what to get him. It was a tough choice between a shirt that he’d been swooning over for a while, or something more special. I had made him a scrap book of all of the pictures I could find, like that time we played dress up, or that time I gave him a makeover while he was sleeping and I took numerous pictures of that. I smiled at the thought of the look on his face when he got to see those pictures. There was also a picture of me and him arguing over a scrabble game that someone had taken while we weren’t paying attention. He looked amazingly cute with his little scrunched up nose. And there were also a few notes that we’d written in class, about the most random things. I also made him a three page long note about how he was super special to me. Also, if he was disappointed in the scrap book, I made a little pocket with a fifty dollar mall card as a back up plan.
I carefully handed him his present and he smiled.

“Thank you.” I smiled at him.

“When do we get to open it? I think mine’s a sweater.” Brendon shook his box mercilessly. I shook my head, trying to hide my smirk.

“On Christmas, of course.” He shook the box lightly, with his ear close to it.

“We left your presents under the tree.” I glanced over towards the elaborately decorated Christmas tree, and there were four separately wrapped packages. I beamed as I looked at them.



*


“Look! She’s singing!”

“That was when I was four, you idiot!” How the bloody hell did they manage to find all of the home videos? “Turn it off and put those away!” I struggled against Jon’s strong grip. I was being held down by him on the couch while Brendon and Ryan were shuffling through the old VHS cassettes, and Spencer was sitting right in front of the TV laughing like a moron while my four year old self was dancing and singing to ‘Dancing Queen’ that was hip in the eighties with a little top hat and my grandmum’s cane.

“Play this one next.” Brendon handed over a different tape, only a few years younger than the one they were playing now. I knew exactly which tape was being slid into the VCR.

“No, you guys, please don’t play that one.” They either were being too loud to hear my voice, or they had just gotten used to my protests. The screen was black for only a moment after the black, white, and grey static had disappeared. I heard a man talking. It had been about eight years since I’ve heard his voice. My heart was pounding in my ribcage. I didn’t want to watch this. “Turn it off!” Everyone was transfixed on the figures that were now being displayed on the screen. It wasn’t anything bad, really.

My Dad’s brother came on the screen. I looked away, and covered my ears with my hands. I felt Jon let go of me, and I buried my face in the couch. I could still hear the television.

“This is Uncle Andre.” I heard his familiar laughter. I clenched my eyes tighter, and clamped my hands over my ears so that I couldn’t hear anything. I felt someone sit down beside me, and gently grab my wrist. I opened my eyes. The room was darker now that the light from the television was turned off. Ryan was looking at me with sympathy. I looked around the room, and everyone was staring at me, all of them looking confused except Ryan.

“Are you alright?” Spencer’s voice was the first to break the silence.

“Yeah, my head just hurt really badly. I’ll be fine.” I looked at Ryan. It seemed like he knew exactly that I didn’t have a head ache of any sort. His sympathetic posture and gaze didn’t budge from his appearance. I grew nervous and looked away from Ryan. The silence was laced with unspoken questions.

“I’m not really looking forward to Christmas.” I said, trying to break the silence.

“What? Why not?” Jon shuffled in the seat next to me. I looked at him, and felt Ryan get up at the same time. I inwardly sighed.

“My mum’s going to be with Mike and Duane.”

“What’s this garbage? Aren’t you going with her?” I looked at Brendon and smiled at his cute outburst.

“I’d rather not.”


*


I had spent a few days alone after that. The boys were busy taking their holiday practicing their music and such. It was Christmas Eve, and I was feeling a little dejected since my mother was getting ready for the Christmas Party at Duane’s house. I sauntered into my Mom’s room angrily. It was a disaster area. She was digging in her closet throwing things that she’d like to take to Duane’s house, but missing her little bag completely. She didn’t notice me coming into her room, and she was muttering to herself.

“Bloody hell, if I ever find it, it’ll be too late.”

“Mum, I still think that you should stay here.” She didn’t even bother looking out of her closet to mumble a response to me. She just ignored me. I could always tell when she pretended to not hear me. She’d just continue to talk to herself like she was alone. “MUM?!” She threw a glance my way.

“Oh, don’t surprise me like that dear. What is it?” I rolled my eyes as I watched her digging through the lump of clean clothes at the bottom of her closet.

“Why won’t you just stay here? Why do you have to leave me alone? I don’t want to have to spend the rest of today and most of tomorrow alone.” She stood up and started to pick up the things that she had haphazardly thrown around her room.

“Just invite one of your friends over.” She didn’t even really seem to assess my problem with care.

“NORMAL PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE WITH THEIR FAMILIES, MUM.”

“I thought you said ‘my friends are closer than my family’.” I stomped on the ground in frustration.

“I was being bloody sarcastic about the family part because you asked me if I wanted to spend Christmas with my family, and then, if you remember, I asked if we were going to London, and you said that we were going to Duane’s house.”

“They’re not family?”

“No, they’re bloody well not. It’s your internet boyfriend and his nephew, and their friends. Where’s his wife going to be?” She turned around; her fists were clenched in frustration.

“She’s at a sodding business trip; she couldn’t be ruddy bothered to spend time with them.” I raised my eyebrow at her.

“Yeah,” I said nonchalantly as I was leaving her room. “I’d be cheating on him as well.”

“GO TO YOUR ROOM!”


*


I felt the front door slam, making the floor shudder slightly with distaste. I turned down my blasting music, and moseyed down the stairs. The house was quiet except the distant whirring of the furnace downstairs. I slouched over the radio, and turned it on. I quickly knew it was a mistake. Christmas music poured merrily out of the dark mesh. I felt like punching something. If my mother was here, she would do. I sauntered into the kitchen, deciding to just let the music continue. It was if by some sort of miracle that I walked into the kitchen when I did, since my cell phone was vibrating on the kitchen table. I waited for a second, and I wasn’t disappointed. It had rung once more, meaning that it wasn’t just another random person that I knew wishing me a merry Christmas over a text message. I peered over to see the screen.

Incoming Call
Ryan Ross

I snatched up my phone and slid it open quickly.

“H-hello?” I fumbled with my phone, almost dropping it on the linoleum.

“Hey.”

“What’s up?” I slid a chair across the floor and sat on it, resting my head on the table.

“Nothing much. What’re you doing right now?”

“Absolutely nothing. Just being depressed and listening to Christmas music. You?” I heard his familiar laugh on the other side of the phone. My stomach involuntarily jumped, and his laugh made me grin.

“That’s a strange mix. I’m not really doing anything either. My dad left.” I suddenly stopped smiling and sighed. I felt bad for Ryan, being left alone on Christmas Eve.

“Hey, what time is it?” I asked. I opened my eyes, but all I could see was a blur of the table and my nose.

“I don’t know. I’m sitting on my chair with my face on the table.” He replied. He was quiet for a moment. I thought it was strange how alike we were. “Don’t you have a clock in every room of your house?”

“Fine, fine. I’ll look for one myself.” I lifted my head and looked at the clock above the table. I know it sounds silly, but it took me a little while to figure out where the clock hands were pointing, and then decipher the time.

“You still there?” I heard Ryan laugh once more.

“Its ten forty?!”

Ryan laughed, “No. It’s eight fifty-five.”

“Don’t make fun. I never learned how to read time.”

“Why didn’t you just check your phone then?” I sighed as he chuckled again.

“Or you could have saved me the trouble and embarrassment by checking it yourself.”

“Nah. Then I wouldn’t get to annoy you.” He laughed. I smiled accidentally.


*


“No, I really have to go to bed.”

“Noooo, don’t go. I’ll be bored.” I moaned. I glanced at the clock on my cell phone. It was almost one in the morning.

“I’ll come over later today if you want.”

“It’s a deal. Talk to you later.”

“Goodnight.” He really did sound tired.

“Love you.” I stopped and covered my mouth with my hand. I stood up from my bed waited. I think by accidentally saying this, I had caught us both off guard. He was quiet for a moment.

“Love you too. ‘Night.” He was quiet, but there was a level of sincerity in his voice. I hung up the phone and jumped onto my bed, not sure whether I should be excited. I smiled and laid myself down on the bed after jumping around for a bit and then switching of my lamp, feeling like a junior high girl that just got her first kiss.

I lay underneath my blankets, tossing nervously. I tried shutting my eyes, but they just kept springing open, and my heart jumped. I was sure that I was over reacting, since he was probably just saying that because I said that to him. Still, I was rather excited.


*


I hated waking up to the sound of the doorbell. I felt like it was necessary to get there as soon as possible, and I didn’t really want to get up. I opened my eyes reluctantly. It was still dark outside. I opened my eyes fully and squinted at my clock.

“Six a.m.? Unggggg.” I asked myself. I threw the covers off of me, and unenthusiastically started shuffling to the hallway. I could see the steps only because of the flashing, decorative Christmas lights wrapped around the banister like a long, cheerful snake. As I reached the last of the stairs, I could see a silhouette through the translucent, frosted glass in the front door. I was a little nervous to open the door, truthfully. The person pressed his face up against the glass, trying to look in. I relaxed a little when I recognized Ryan’s round face, and his nose. I rushed toward the door and unlocked it hastily and opened the door. It wasn’t dark outside, but there was that familiar brownish orange glow that seemed to appear whenever it was threatening to snow. I moved out of the way so Ryan could hustle inside.

“Hello.” I said. He smiled.

“Merry Christmas, Delilah.” He took his jacket off.

“Merry Christmas, to you too. But what are you doing here so early?”

“Couldn’t sleep.” He replied simply. I nodded. I watched him hang up his jacket. All of the muscles in my face felt like they were being held down. My brain felt heavy, and all I really wanted to do was lay back down and fall asleep. “You look tired.” I smiled and nodded. He gave me a hug. Even though he had just been outside, his arms and chest were a good replacement for my blankets. I laid my head gently down on his shoulder. I let go, and smiled at him.

“Want to watch some T.V.?”

“Yeah, sure.” He started walking towards the couch and lay down. One of his legs was hanging off of the couch, and the other was pressed up against the couch. His head was resting on the arm rest. I sat on the other side of the couch, my knees were pressed against my chest, and my arms were wrapped around my legs. I tossed him the remote control, and looked back at the television set, expecting it to turn on. He nudged me with his foot, and I looked back at him with my eyebrow raised. He didn’t say anything. He looked as if he was thinking. He beckoned me closer to him, and then he tapped his chest. I smiled, and crawled over to him, finally collapsing on him, the top of my head was nestled underneath his chin. I felt his arms snake around me, pulling me even closer. My arms were draped around his neck. I felt my eyes start to droop. As soon as I realized that neither of us wanted to let each other go to turn on the television, I turned my head to face the back of the couch, and closed my eyes. I felt Ryan kiss the top of my head. I couldn’t help the smile that was carving itself onto my face.