FicWad

Ryan’s Point of View
I watched the streams of sunlight that filtered through the Venetian blinds dance across her sleeping face. It was amazing how her face could still be illuminated and cheerful, even without a smile. She lightly tossed in her sleep. I searched for the face of Delilah’s alarm clock. 10:28. It wasn’t early, but it wasn’t late. I ruffled my hair as I sat up completely, trying my best not to wake Delilah up.

I ran my fingers through my mussed hair. Delilah turned slightly once more, this time, she was faced towards her pillow. The blanket had slid down her back. I gently picked up the cover, and skimmed it back up so she could sleep comfortably. I noticed a note taped to Delilah’s alarm clock after glancing to see if the time had changed. I got up, and moved around her to reach the note. Only a few sentences were written in neat, slanting hand writing.

Delilah,
I’ve gone to Duane’s for brunch. Mike’s coming over later.
-Mum
PS) You and Ryan look so cute together. Don’t ever grow up. Love you both.

I tried not to laugh out loud, but a smile carved itself onto my face. I re-stuck the paper back onto the alarm clock. I sat back down on the edge of Delilah’s bed. I looked down and realized that I was wearing only one sock. I looked around the floor. No sock. I climbed over Delilah once more and shuffled through the bedspreads. There was nothing. I took another longing glance at the floor, but still, I couldn’t find my sock. I looked at the crack between Delilah’s bed and her wall. I placed my arm down, and ran my fingers across the clean carpet until they traced the outline of a book.

I withdrew my hand and tried to look down the crack. There was a thick outline of a book, but I couldn’t see the cover. I barely had any time to wonder if it was down there for a reason, if it was supposed to be hidden. Curiosity got the better of me in a mere instant, and I couldn’t defy it. I extended my arm once more, this time grabbing hold of the book and slipping it through the crack. I studied the cover. It was a thin pink book with a little kitten on the front. It looked like a book from the dollar store. I turned it over to take a look at the back, but there was nothing. Just a few scratches. I opened the front cover to see a thick, red pen with a child’s writing scored into the paper.

DELILAH’S DIARY KEEP OUT!
9 years old
St. Mary’s Elementary School
Grade three

I glanced at Delilah’s sleeping figure and then back to the book. She wouldn’t mind. Delilah wouldn’t object if I knew her cute little crushes and secrets. I turned the front page and started to read the first entry.

July 12th
Mum and Dad are having another tiff again. I’m in my room. I can still hear them, though. I don’t really know what they’re yelling about. I wish they’d stop. I miss school because then I don’t have to be here and listen to them argue. I at least wish that they’d stop swearing. It scares me even more when they swear. I think I’ll phone Uncle Andre and he can help me feel better.

July 18th
Dad took me to the store today. He was going to get some cigarettes and I wanted to get out of the house. We just got back. I saw Mitchell Johnston there. He made fun of me because I had gotten lost in the store. That stupid git. I saw my Daddy pulling out of his spot in the parking lot, and I had to run to him. I think he thought I had already gone home. He’s so silly sometimes. He started yelling at me in the car, though. I think Mom heard it, and she got mad and they started to yell again. It made me sad because it seemed like they were getting along for the past few days. I just heard the door slam, and the yelling has stopped. I think Daddy went to go see his lady friends again. He always goes to see them now. I hear mom on the phone with Jas’s Mom. I guess that means Jas is coming over! I have to go and get ready.

July 23rd
Mom took me to the park today. It was just me and her. Dad hasn’t been home since the last time I wrote in here. Mom seemed worried. Its weird how parents fight all the time and then when the other’s gone they get all sad. I hope I never have a husband! It will just be me and Jas forever, and we’ll live together and go to all of school together, and we’re going to be librarians when we grow up! And we decided that we’ll have lots of different fuzzy animals! No snakes or lizards, though. They’re just gross! I’m tired of waiting for Daddy to come home. I want him to take me to the park with Mom next time. Uncle Andre came over to see where daddy was. He accidentally grabbed my bum! I don’t really know what to think of that, but he’s just my uncle, right?

I skimmed through the pages. I didn’t think that this cute little book could hold something so dark. I felt sad, and I resented ever losing my sock in the first place. I held the book aloft in my hand, looking at Delilah. She hadn’t moved at all. I was really torn. I didn’t want to read this anymore, I didn’t want to harm Delilah in anyway, even emotionally. If she knew that I had read this…
I looked at the small book again and sighed, flipping through the pages to the future, hoping everything turned out alright.

October 11th
The teacher yelled at me again today. I can’t believe it! School just started. I miss my daddy so much. I wish that he hadn’t left us at all. Mom seems happier. She stopped crying about a week after he left, but now she seems cheerier. When Jas’s mom comes over, they don’t just sit in the kitchen drinking tea quietly chatting, they watch videos and look at photo albums. Uncle Andre is coming over later today! He said that he had a surprise for me! I’m so excited.

October 12th
Daddy came here yesterday with Uncle Andre. I want Uncle Andre to go home. Last night, He asked daddy if he could stay the night, and dad said yes. They left this morning. I don’t want to be here anymore. He came into my room last night. I don’t feel like writing anymore.

I felt Delilah shift. I shut the book quickly. I placed it back underneath her bed and then looked at her. She was awake, her eyes wide, staring straight at me. Her hands were coving her mouth, agape in shock. Her aquamarine eyes shone as tears began to brim them. I wanted more than anything to just hold her in my arms until she stopped, but I held back. She was probably furious.

“Delilah… What happened?” I had to know.

“He- he-”

“I’m so sorry.” My apology was meager, and quiet, probably meaningless to her. She quickly tossed the covers aside and crawled over to me, finally collapsing, the only thing holding her sobbing figure were my arms.

“Please don’t tell anyone. Please, Please.” She begged. Her voice was muffled by her sobs and by my shirt.

“I promise I won’t. Don’t cry, doll.” I usually had no clue how to comfort people. But with Delilah, her reaction to my words seemed to calm her even before I had finished my sentence. She shuddered before her sobs ceased completely. I stroked her arm with my fingers. My stomach twisted in guilt. She pushed away, wiping her tears away with her open palms.

“I have to go to the bathroom.”

“No, please don’t. I don’t want you to hurt yourself like that.” My voice seemed to ring through the empty house. I grabbed onto her hand. She didn’t look at me. She just sat back down on the edge of the bed, holding onto my hand, but facing away from me. “I won’t ever let anyone touch you again.” She flung her arms around my neck, and I wrapped mine around her waist, trying my hardest to make her feel secure.


*


Delilah’s Point Of View
I stirred my tea nervously. I never wanted anyone to read my diary. I didn’t even want myself to read it. I should have just thrown it out like I had planned before I moved to Las Vegas. I intended on it, but I had let myself down once again and packed it underneath my knickers. I glanced at Ryan, and my stomach jumped with embarrassment when I caught him looking back. He feigned a friendly smile, but neither of us knew what to say to the other. I wasn’t even mad that he had read it, really. If by any chance there was one person that I’d ever allow to read it, it was Ryan.

Besides, curiosity was a natural sense. What lay written forever in that small book wasn’t natural. I wanted to just forget it, but a part of me knew that faint memories would keep me linked to this ashamed section of my life. I watched the swirling liquid in my small, china porcelain cup.

The loud echo of breaking glass and sloshing fluid rushing over the floor filled my ears, snapping me out of my trance. Ryan was bent over, trying to mop up the tea with a mound of sopping wet paper towel.

“Oh, god. I’m sorry.” Ryan was intent on cleaning up every last drop. I got up out of my seat, and grabbed some more paper towel.

“Ryan! Your hand- It’s bleeding.” He stopped, looking first at his left hand before switching the dripping lump of soaked paper towel to see a large gash on his right.

“Oh.” He studied it for a moment. I bent over beside him, and took his hand and tried to wipe away the blood and tea from his fingers with the dry napkins. I saw him looking at me with my peripherals, but I continued to clean his hand. I gently helped him up, and turned on the cold water from the kitchen sink, placing his hand underneath the steady, light stream of freezing water. He winced.

“Don’t worry about the cup. Just keep it under here until it mostly stops bleeding. He nodded. I tossed Ryan’s clump of napkins in the bin, and bent down again, trying to pick up the largest pieces of glass. The doorbell rang. I got up and placed the remains of the china in a paper bag. I turned to Ryan.

“How’s your hand?” I asked. He looked at me and nodded, taking his hand out and drying it off with some Kleenex.

“It’s alright. I’m still sorry about the cup, though.” I shook my head, and finally, a small smirk carved into my face.

“No, don’t be ridiculous. I break them all the time. Be right back, though.” I stepped over the half cleaned puddle of tea and small shards of glass, and started lightly jogging to the door. I saw three silhouettes waiting outside the door, patiently. I unlocked the door and opened it quickly. Brendon, Spencer and Jon’s smiling cold faces looked in, and before I could even step out of the way, they bustled into my house, talking loudly.

“It’s so hot out there.” Brendon and Jon tossed their shoes on the welcome mat and jumped onto my couch, turning on the television. I shook my head in annoyance and walked back into the kitchen. Ryan was smiling, and he had a look on his face, that just said, ‘Oh great’. I smirked back at him, and we finished cleaning up the tea.

“You can have mine if you want.” I offered.

“No, it’s yours. Let’s go see what they’re doing.” I nodded, and followed Ryan slowly and carefully after grabbing my small cup of tea in my hands. Brendon and Jon were sitting huddled together underneath a blanket, already immersed in the beginning of a movie. I sat on the very edge the couch, and Ryan sat beside me. I pretended to not have noticed, and watched the television screen intent on not peeking over to see Ryan’s face.

I looked around before asking, “Where’s Brent?” Brendon let out a long sigh and Jon didn’t even bother looking away from the television before he responded.

“I dunno.” He muttered. I stood up and started walking towards the kitchen phone.

“What are you doing?” Brendon’s neck was craned around the wall as I picked up the phone and held it against my chest.

“Inviting him over.” A loud shuffling sound came from the living room before Jon busted into the kitchen, slamming the cordless phone back down on its charger, screaming, ‘no!’ numerous times.

“Don’t- you- dare!” Jon was panting from his sudden explosion of energy.

“What?! Why not?” I demanded. Brendon had been knocked over in Jon’s desperate attempt to hang up the phone, so I grabbed his arm, and tried to help him up. Ryan sauntered into the room, sheepishly.

“He’s being-”

“A dick?!” Jon straightened his posture after interrupting Ryan’s explanation.

“What! Why?” I demanded, looking at them furiously. Ryan scuffed his feet on the linoleum, and Brendon looked at Jon. Jon breathed in heavily.

“You know how he was trying to run the band before?”

“What? No. I think you’re over reacting.” I placed my hands on my hips defiantly.

“You’ve only been to one practice. He always acts like the boss instead of remembering that we made the band equal authority.” Spencer said.

“Nice choice of words,” Jon smirked. “But, continue.”

“He’s just being a dick and trying to boss everyone around. Even when we aren’t in practice.” Spencer finished. I scrunched my face up in thought. It was a little true that he had a bossy personality, but I still thought that they were being over-dramatic.

“I just- Oh forget it. We’re missing the movie.” Jon sighed in relief, which kind of made me a little miffed, but I just shook it off. He walked into the living room, followed closely by Ryan, who shot me a smile, and a look that said, ‘Brent-really-is-being-a-dick’. Brendon pretended to follow them but as soon as he got to the door, he shut it and turned to face me.

I arched my eyebrow at him in curiosity. “What’s up?”

“I like your friend Audrey.” I smiled and clapped my hands together in excitement. He looked embarrassed and was talking quietly.

“That’s excellent! Ever since you talked at the mall, she hasn’t shut up about you. Of course, she wouldn’t admit it in a million years, but she really fancies you, as well.” His face lit up with obvious excitement, and I could almost hear his heart beat a little faster.

“Really?” He paused for a moment, and I nodded. “But- wait!” I raised my eyebrow at him once more.

“What?” He paused for another moment, but this time, he was actually thinking, not creating scenes of him and Audrey together in his imagination. He stuttered at first, but finally choked out a few words.

“But, you know. I was just- what about- you and me?” He stopped and looked at me with expecting eyes. I thought for only a mere moment, but a million questions ran through my mind. What did he mean by that? Did that mean that he still liked me? Is he regretting us breaking up? “I mean like, I still like you and everything, but it’s obvious that you like Ryan and- well- would we still be cool if I kind of moved on?” I frowned and threw my arms around Brendon’s neck.

“I’m sorry, Brendon. We’ll be cool no matter what. It’s probably better for us if we just stayed ‘BFF’s.”

“I agree. Let me just go tell Ryan that you love his hot ass and that you want to fuck him right now and to meet you in the kitchen.”

“Alright. Wait- WHAT?” Brendon laughed, and smiled mischievously. He opened the kitchen door and walked a few steps.

“RYAN! DELILAH LOVES YOUR HOT A- AH!” I threw myself at his waist and he fell down like a ton of bricks on the floor, laughing like an idiot. Jon, Spencer and Ryan turned around, craning their necks over the couch to see what the loud noise was. The front door creaked open, barely audible over Brendon’s loud laughing. I looked at the front door and saw Mike standing there, looking as stern as my mother. I jumped off of Brendon and straightened my posture up.

“Oh, Mike. What’re you doing here?” He was standing as stiff as a board. Everyone went suddenly went quiet, and all that I could hear was the soft whirring of the furnace downstairs, and Brendon standing up. I saw Mike’s face turn to a dirty scowl. I glanced back at Brendon and Jon, glaring right back at him, and Ryan was sitting on the couch playing with a non existent item in his hands.

“Your mom told me to visit so I could check up on you.” I opened my mouth to respond, but I was quite rudely interrupted.

“She’s fine. Door’s right behind you.” Brendon’s smooth, musical voice had been replaced with a growl of warning. Mike glared at them for a moment longer, and then looked at me.

“I’ll be going, then.” He mumbled something under his breath, and then turned and exited. When the door was finally shut, I faced Jon and Brendon.

“What was that?” I asked angrily. Brendon just shrugged his shoulders, and grabbed my wrist, pulling me to sit on the couch between him and Ryan. Spencer mumbled.

“What an asshole.” Jon shook his head, and then the phone rang.

“WHAT NOW?!” I got off the couch reluctantly, and slumped over to the phone, picking it up, and pressing it against my ear.

“Hello?” I heard some girlish giggles, and for only a moment, feared that it was Shaye.

“Hey, it’s Audrey.”

“Oh, perfect. One second.” I placed my palm on the receiver. “BRENDON?” I called. “Phone’s for you!”