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"Ken-chan, where can I get some booty?"

Kenpachi spluttered. "Yer--yer looking for what?"

Yachiru sighed. "Booty, Ken-chan. You know, treasure. I'm a pirate, remember?"

Kenpachi took a moment to look her up and down. Yes, there was the tri-cornered hat, the hook she used as a left hand, the striped socks she had taken to wearing...

"Arr," Yachiru added helpfully.

"Yes, I remember you're a pirate. You have been for weeks now."

"So where am I going to get booty, cap'n?"

"Sheesh, I dunno, kid. Find somebody who's pissed you off lately and beat it outta them."

"I--I'm ready, Captain," Kenpachi's next opponent whispered. Kenpachi turned and sized the woman up.

"Hey, Yachiru, you wanna take this one on?"

"No thanks, Ken-chan. I hafta go get some booty, remember? I'll spar tomorrow. Bye!" And with that, she sped off.

Kenpachi sighed. This pirate thing had been going on much longer than any of her usual fads. Maybe he should get her a real ship...

"C-Captain?" His opponent looked like she was about to wet herself. He grinned, and stalked over to the mats.

*
"Booty?" Matsumoto laid down her pen, and contemplated the idea for a moment. "Well, people say I have a pretty good booty, and of course my captain has a very cute booty..."

"No, Boobies, I be talking about swag. If I be the pirate captain, then I be needing a bit of gold to round out me treasure trove."

Hitsugaya glared at both of them over the edge of his desk. "You, get back to work. You, get out."

"Oh, come on, captain, she just wants a little booty. I'll bet you could just--"

"Now, Matsumoto."

There was obviously no booty to be found in the Tenth Squad. Yachiru wandered further.

*
The Ninth Squad had long since developed a protocol for dealing with Yachiru's visits. As usual, Hisagi met her at the gate.

"Sorry, kid, my captain's got no booty at all."

Yachiru squinted suspiciously at him. "I dunno... for a land-lubber, methinks ye have the look a' someone with a fine booty of 'is own."

Hisagi blushed. "Um, no, actually," he said, his voice higher-pitched than usual. "Perhaps you should try further down?"

*
The Eight Squad let her in, as per their protocol, and as usual Captain Kyouraku was quite willing to help.

"Oh, Nanao-chan, the vice-captain of the Eleventh Squad wants some booty."

"Sir, I really need to finish these--"

"Avast, Nanao-san, I want some booty! I want it now!"

Nanao pushed up her glasses reflexively. "I'm afraid I don't know anything about--"

"Don't listen to her," Shunsui said in a loud whisper. "My sweet Nanao-chan has practically written the book on booty."

Yachiru's eyes went wide. "Really?"

"No!" Nanao snapped. "Stop telling her things. I don't have any boo--I don't have any treasure for her."

Yachiru brandished her hook at the vice-captain. "Arr, ye will regret this, booty wench, if it be the last thing ye do!"

Shunsui gasped theatrically. "Oh, my darling Nanao-chan could never be referred to as a mere wench! She is a beauty--ma belle dame de la mere! Next to yourself, of course, my dear pirate captain."

"She be naught but a bilge rat!"

"Out!"

*
The Seventh Squad was out doing exercises in the Rukongai, so Yachiru went straight to the Sixth.

"Ahoy!"

Renji jumped, upsetting the inkpot and spilling ink all over his desk. "Vice-I mean, Yachiru! What are you doing here? And why are you dressed like... like..."

"Ahoy, I be a pirate, matey! And I be looking for some booty!"

Renji jumped again. "Wh-wh-what?"

Yachiru pouted. "Why does everybody say that? I be a pirate captain, and a pirate captain be needing booty! Pieces of eight! Treasure!"

"Pieces of eight?"

"Pieces of eight! Pieces of eight! Yarr, must I be constantly explainin' things to ye scurvy land-lubbers?"

"Well..." Renji looked blank for a moment, then grinned.

"You know, my captain is one of the richest nobles in Soul Society. I'll bet he's got lots of booty at his house."

It was the first solid lead Yachiru had gotten. "Yippee! Thanks, Inky! Ye can be me second mate any time!"

"Just... just don't tell him I sent you," Renji said weakly, though by that time Yachiru was already gone.

*
"Arai, why is the vice-captain of the Eleventh Squad poling a raft in my koi pond?"

"I believe she is sailing off in search of booty, sir."

Byakuya's eyes narrowed. "She didn't take the candy?"

"Oh, she ate all of the candy, sir. But she said it wasn't the booty she was looking for." As they spoke, Yachiru reached the center of the pond. She unsheathed her zanpakuto and began sharpening her pole with it.

"I'm sorry, sir, but she simply wouldn't leave. She seems to believe that there's booty in the koi pond. I thought it best to humor her."

"Booty, you say?"

"Er, yes, sir."

"Hm."

Yachiru examined her new spear for a moment. Finding it satisfactory, she twirled it once or twice, then suddenly plunged it into the water. It emerged with a bright gold fish impaled at the end. Yachiru giggled. Arai paled. Byakuya twitched.

"Hi, Bya-kun!" She gestured with the spear. "Shiver me timbers! I found gold!"

"Those fish have been bred by the Kuchikis for a thousand years..." Arai said weakly.

"Why don't you go show it to your captain?" Byakuya said.

"Great idea, Bya-kun! Arr, pirate captain Yachiru will be seeing ye later!" She grinned, gave a jaunty salute, and sped off.

"Sir, I'm so very, very sorry."

"A small price, to get her to go," Byakuya mused. "Now lock the gates."

*
"Congratulations, Captain Byakuya."

"I am disappointed, but I must confess, you won fair and square."

"They say it was the only unanimous vote in the Shinigami Women's Association's history."

Byakuya had no idea what they were referring to, so he simply ignored the comments. While normally an effective strategy, in this case an inquiry would have served him well. Though perhaps, as Byakuya finally concluded, nothing could have adequately prepared him for the moment when Vice-Captain Yachiru solemnly awarded him a certificate proclaiming his booty the finest in all of Soul Society.