Categories > Celebrities > Metallica > That Was Just Your Life
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The next afternoon, I found myself gathered in the social studies room with all the other students. As usual, I was almost falling asleep in class and felt like I was dying of boredom. I had slept in far too late this morning and had to rush in order to get ready for school. I knew I looked pretty terrible today. The cut below my chin couldn't really be covered up. It hadn't scabbed over yet and was a bright shade of red in contrast to my pale skin. My right eyes looked terrible. The skin all around it was puffy and purple. Ray had definitely given me a black eye. Great.
I hadn't been paying much attention in class until Mrs. Smith cleared her throat loudly to get our attention. I jerked my head up from where it had been lolling on my desk and pretended like I had been working on my social studies homework. Honestly though, I had just been doodling randomly on a piece of scrap paper because James still had my homework. I really hoped he had remembered to do it for me. I certainly couldn't afford to not have it completed by the end of the week.
"Class, may I have your attention for a moment please?" Mrs. Smith asked. She phrased her statement as a question, but it was really more of a command. She continued on, "I'm here to announce the annual school dance that is going to take place on Monday. As you know, it's a tradition for the Downey High School to host a dance about this time every year. The dance will take place right after school this Monday. We will have food and drinks provided and the dance will take place in the gym. We expect you all to attend. This is a mandatory event that the whole school will participate in. Boys, you should start asking girls to the dance since there isn't much time until Monday. Any questions?"
Excited whispering immediately engulfed the room. I was feeling anything but excited though. My heart was heavy. I hated fancy occasions with lots of people. I wasn't even fortunate to own a dress. I would end up wearing my old jeans and hoodie to the dance probably. Dances were really one of my least favorite kind of events. I had never tried to dance before exactly, but I figured I would be pretty terrible at it. After all, I was very clumsy. At least I wasn't required to have a partner to the dance though. I could just go by myself, sit there for a few hours, and then escape. It wasn't like anyone would miss me there or anything.
"Will there be supervision?" someone called from the back of the room. I rolled my eyes. It was just like teenagers to worry about whether or not there would be supervision. Everyone looked towards the front of the class to see what Mrs. Smith should say. The corners of her lips lifted ever so slightly as if she was trying to repress a laugh. She answered, "There will be a teacher who will stick his head in the gym from time to time, but there wouldn't be constant supervision or anything. You high schoolers are to the age where we feel we should let you have responsibility. After all, some of you will be adults in a year. Do remember that we are trusting you to make good choices though."
A loud cheer erupted from the class. I didn't join in with the cheering though. My heart sank even more. Kids certainly still needed supervision at this age. Tons of bad things happened at unsupervised dances. Teens would get drunk and act crazy. Things would get broken and there might even be a fight. But what was worse was the fact that this was the sort of event that caused people to get raped. That thought made me shudder and crouch lower in my seat. I definitely wasn't in any hurry for this dance. I wished I could go asleep and then wake up when it was over.
Smiling cheerfully, Mrs. Smith added, "You're dismissed now, class. Boys, do remember to ask the girls to the dance though! We don't want any slackers." With that said, the room suddenly burst into loud chatter. Everyone was gossiping about who was going to invite who to the dance and about what they planned to wear to the dance. I zoned all of the chatter out of my ears and slowly put my books away, trying hard not to think about the dance. That was hard to do though when everyone around you was screeching at the top of their voices about it.
As soon as I placed my books in my bag, I suddenly remembered something. I had to get my homework from James. Feeling even worse at the prospect of having to talk to James, I slumped out of the classroom and scanned the hall for James' familiar curly, blonde head. As usual, he was bent over his locker, putting his stuff away. I just stared at him for a moment from across the hall. My legs had seemed to turn to ice and they just didn't seem to want to move.
I felt stupid just standing here, but approaching James just made me so nervous! Trying to tell myself that there was nothing to be nervous about, I took a few steps forward and approached his locker. This time, James didn't pretend not to see me. He flipped around as soon as I approached and shot me a big grin. Apparently, he was no longer having the attitude problem that he had seemed to be having yesterday. What had caused that attitude adjustment, I did not know.
"Hi there!" James greeted me happily. Then his happy expression quickly changed as he took in my face. Feeling self-conscious and wondering what he was looking at, I looked down at my feet and twisted my hands uncomfortably in my lap, asking, "What? Do I have dirt on my nose or something?"
James shook his head and quickly averted his eyes as if he knew that his gaze was making me uncomfortably. He started rooted through his locker for something while he answered, "No, there's no dirt. It's just your eye is all swollen and purple. There's this cut on your chin too, but I assume you're already aware of that. What happened to you?"
Oops, I had temporarily forgotten about my face. I tried to quickly come up with a lie as to what had caused the cuts and bruises. When nothing came to my mind, I muttered quickly, "I...uh...tripped on the stairs and fell." It was a really lame explanation, but I couldn't think of anything else to say. James didn't reply, so I didn't know if he believed me or not.
A few seconds later, he emerged back out of the locker with three pieces of paper in his hand. He held them out to me and said, "Here's your homework. I tried to make my writing style look more like yours so it wouldn't be too obvious that this wasn't your homework. Hopefully, the teachers won't see through it." I took the papers from James' outstretched hand and scanned through them quickly. James had done a really good job in imitating my writing style.
"Thanks so much!" I exclaimed happily. This was probably the happiest I had felt all week. At least something in my life had gone right for once. That was a rarity since everything seemed to be going downhill for me lately. I added, "I don't know what I would've done without your help. I can never thank you enough."
I turned to leave, but James quickly called me back, "Uh, Olivia?" I paused and turned around to face him. James was looking kind of nervous. His face was kind of flushed, his eyes looked nervous, and he had jammed his hands in the pockets of his loose black pants. I tilted my head towards him asked, "Yeah? Did you want something?"
"Kinda," James replied with a nervous smile. "I was just wondering something. Um, will you go to the dance with me on Monday?" I was totally caught off guard by the question. My jaw dropped and I found that I was staring at him with eyes the size of saucers. James was asking me to the dance? Why the hell would he do that? I obviously was no beauty and certainly wasn't a good dancer. I tried to move my lips, but no sound came out.
"She can't go to the dance with you," a loud voice came from out of nowhere. I spun around to see Ray sanding angrily behind me. He definitely wasn't in a good mood again. He took my hand, squeezed it hard, and continued, "She's going to the dance with me. Just ask that little red-head about the dance. You know you like her." Ray gripped my hand tighter and pulled me towards the entrance of the school without even bothering to give me a chance to say goodbye to James.
Just before Ray and I reached the entrance of the school, I dared to glance behind me to sneak a look at James. The sight behind me made my heart twist painfully for some reason. Behind me, James was indeed talking to the pretty auburn-haired girl that I had seen him holding hands with a few days ago. There was no doubt in my mind that he was asking her to the dance. And sure as hell, the girl would say yes. I tried to think of that girl's name. After searching around in my brain for a few minutes, I finally remembered that her name was Kristen. For some reason, everyone called her Kitty though. It was a nickname that she had always had. I was so into my thoughts about Kitty, that I forgot all about Ray squeezing the blood out of my wrist as he tugged me away to the alleyway as usual.
When we reached the alley, I was still in a trance-like state. Ray waved a hand in front of my face and said, "Hello? Earth to Olivia!" I blinked and quickly snapped out of it. I hung my head and hoped that Ray would treat me better than yesterday. I continued looking at the ground while Ray looked me up and down. His gaze lingered on the cut under my chin and on my black and blue eye. Ray tapped his chin and looked thoughtful. That wasn't a good sign. Whenever Ray was looking pensive, it meant he was planning something...something bad.
"You are going to go to the dance with me on Monday," Ray stated. I knew I didn't have a choice about it, so I didn't bother saying anything. Ray walked in a circle around me and examined me carefully, saying, "Do your best to get rid of that cut on your chin, okay? That's just plain ugly. Do the same with your eye too. I don't want to be seen at the winter dance with the school's ugliest bitch. And here, take this." Ray extended his hand to me and opened it.
I gasped when I saw the hundred dollar bill in Ray's hand. Confused, I slowly reached my hand forward to take the money from him. I couldn't figure out why he was going to give me money, but it didn't really matter why. After all, I usually spent long, hard-working hours for this kind of money. If Ray was offering it to me for free, I was in no position to deny it.
Ray smirked as I carefully tucked the money inside my school bag, "Buy yourself a pretty dress with that. I have a good feeling that you don't own a single dress. Isn't that right?" Feeling slightly ashamed, I nodded. As a matter of fact, I didn't even remember when I had last owned a dress. It had probably been a long time ago when my dad was still alive. My mother never had bothered to buy new clothes for me after my dad had passed away.
Ray picked me up and set me almost gently on my back. He was being carefully not to bang me up anymore so I would look acceptable for the school dance. Maybe the dance wasn't that bad of a thing after all! Now I was starting to wish they had announced the date of the dance sooner so Ray would've been more careful with me. As Ray's hands slipped under my shirt, he added, "Oh, one more thing. I don't want you talking to that Hetfield kid at all! I'm serious, Olivia. It really pisses me off."
I nodded silently, still not saying anything. I mean, why should I waste my breath on Ray? He wasn't worth my breath or energy. I couldn't see why James was making Ray so angry though. I didn't understand why Ray was so possessive of me. It wasn't like Ray felt any true affection for me or anything. I was just his little toy, nothing more than that.
I was thinking all these things when Ray yanked down my skirt and began slamming into me. That's when I realized why Ray was so possessive; it was because he was completely whacked. He was really sick in the mind. I couldn't help but wonder if he had mental problems and if he had ever seen a doctor for it.
~ ~ ~ ~
The next four hours seemed to pass by very slowly as I waited for my shift at work to end. Ray had been surprisingly gentle with me today, which had made everything more bearable. My legs still tingled uncomfortably and my eye was tender and sore, but at least I didn't have any new wounds to deal with today. Tapping my foot, I looked up at the clock to see how much longer it would be until my shift was over. As soon as I had finished work, I was going to go to the clothing store right around the corner and see what I could do about finding a dress for the school dance that I was required to attend...with Ray.
As much as I had pretended not to like dresses and fancy things, I had to admit that I was actually pretty excited about getting a new dress. Everyday, I wore the usual pair of holey jeans and one of my black shirts or sweatshirts. Wearing something pretty, delicate, and feminine sent shivers up my spine. It had been a while since I had thought about being beautiful. As a matter of fact, I had pretty much learned to stop caring about my appearance in the last few months. After all, it wasn't like I was trying to impress anyone. I had done my very best to stay away from the boys at school and to avoid their attention, and to be honest, I had done a pretty good job in doing that. None of the boys gave me a second look besides for Ray and James. Ray obviously liked it that was as he was determined to keep me all to himself.
However, I felt a sudden urge to want to act like a normal teenager on the night of the dance. I would dress up, do something nice with my hair, and maybe just try to have fun for once. I couldn't even remember the last time I had really had any fun. It had certainly been a long time ago. Definitely before school started and before I met the monster who was Ray. And even though I longed to deny it, I felt like I indeed was trying to impress someone at the dance. But that was stupid. Who the hell would I want to impress at the dance? It couldn't be James. I mean, he was already going to the dance with Kitty. I should just be a good girl and stay out of their way the night of the dance. But really, who ever said I was a good girl?
The next afternoon, I found myself gathered in the social studies room with all the other students. As usual, I was almost falling asleep in class and felt like I was dying of boredom. I had slept in far too late this morning and had to rush in order to get ready for school. I knew I looked pretty terrible today. The cut below my chin couldn't really be covered up. It hadn't scabbed over yet and was a bright shade of red in contrast to my pale skin. My right eyes looked terrible. The skin all around it was puffy and purple. Ray had definitely given me a black eye. Great.
I hadn't been paying much attention in class until Mrs. Smith cleared her throat loudly to get our attention. I jerked my head up from where it had been lolling on my desk and pretended like I had been working on my social studies homework. Honestly though, I had just been doodling randomly on a piece of scrap paper because James still had my homework. I really hoped he had remembered to do it for me. I certainly couldn't afford to not have it completed by the end of the week.
"Class, may I have your attention for a moment please?" Mrs. Smith asked. She phrased her statement as a question, but it was really more of a command. She continued on, "I'm here to announce the annual school dance that is going to take place on Monday. As you know, it's a tradition for the Downey High School to host a dance about this time every year. The dance will take place right after school this Monday. We will have food and drinks provided and the dance will take place in the gym. We expect you all to attend. This is a mandatory event that the whole school will participate in. Boys, you should start asking girls to the dance since there isn't much time until Monday. Any questions?"
Excited whispering immediately engulfed the room. I was feeling anything but excited though. My heart was heavy. I hated fancy occasions with lots of people. I wasn't even fortunate to own a dress. I would end up wearing my old jeans and hoodie to the dance probably. Dances were really one of my least favorite kind of events. I had never tried to dance before exactly, but I figured I would be pretty terrible at it. After all, I was very clumsy. At least I wasn't required to have a partner to the dance though. I could just go by myself, sit there for a few hours, and then escape. It wasn't like anyone would miss me there or anything.
"Will there be supervision?" someone called from the back of the room. I rolled my eyes. It was just like teenagers to worry about whether or not there would be supervision. Everyone looked towards the front of the class to see what Mrs. Smith should say. The corners of her lips lifted ever so slightly as if she was trying to repress a laugh. She answered, "There will be a teacher who will stick his head in the gym from time to time, but there wouldn't be constant supervision or anything. You high schoolers are to the age where we feel we should let you have responsibility. After all, some of you will be adults in a year. Do remember that we are trusting you to make good choices though."
A loud cheer erupted from the class. I didn't join in with the cheering though. My heart sank even more. Kids certainly still needed supervision at this age. Tons of bad things happened at unsupervised dances. Teens would get drunk and act crazy. Things would get broken and there might even be a fight. But what was worse was the fact that this was the sort of event that caused people to get raped. That thought made me shudder and crouch lower in my seat. I definitely wasn't in any hurry for this dance. I wished I could go asleep and then wake up when it was over.
Smiling cheerfully, Mrs. Smith added, "You're dismissed now, class. Boys, do remember to ask the girls to the dance though! We don't want any slackers." With that said, the room suddenly burst into loud chatter. Everyone was gossiping about who was going to invite who to the dance and about what they planned to wear to the dance. I zoned all of the chatter out of my ears and slowly put my books away, trying hard not to think about the dance. That was hard to do though when everyone around you was screeching at the top of their voices about it.
As soon as I placed my books in my bag, I suddenly remembered something. I had to get my homework from James. Feeling even worse at the prospect of having to talk to James, I slumped out of the classroom and scanned the hall for James' familiar curly, blonde head. As usual, he was bent over his locker, putting his stuff away. I just stared at him for a moment from across the hall. My legs had seemed to turn to ice and they just didn't seem to want to move.
I felt stupid just standing here, but approaching James just made me so nervous! Trying to tell myself that there was nothing to be nervous about, I took a few steps forward and approached his locker. This time, James didn't pretend not to see me. He flipped around as soon as I approached and shot me a big grin. Apparently, he was no longer having the attitude problem that he had seemed to be having yesterday. What had caused that attitude adjustment, I did not know.
"Hi there!" James greeted me happily. Then his happy expression quickly changed as he took in my face. Feeling self-conscious and wondering what he was looking at, I looked down at my feet and twisted my hands uncomfortably in my lap, asking, "What? Do I have dirt on my nose or something?"
James shook his head and quickly averted his eyes as if he knew that his gaze was making me uncomfortably. He started rooted through his locker for something while he answered, "No, there's no dirt. It's just your eye is all swollen and purple. There's this cut on your chin too, but I assume you're already aware of that. What happened to you?"
Oops, I had temporarily forgotten about my face. I tried to quickly come up with a lie as to what had caused the cuts and bruises. When nothing came to my mind, I muttered quickly, "I...uh...tripped on the stairs and fell." It was a really lame explanation, but I couldn't think of anything else to say. James didn't reply, so I didn't know if he believed me or not.
A few seconds later, he emerged back out of the locker with three pieces of paper in his hand. He held them out to me and said, "Here's your homework. I tried to make my writing style look more like yours so it wouldn't be too obvious that this wasn't your homework. Hopefully, the teachers won't see through it." I took the papers from James' outstretched hand and scanned through them quickly. James had done a really good job in imitating my writing style.
"Thanks so much!" I exclaimed happily. This was probably the happiest I had felt all week. At least something in my life had gone right for once. That was a rarity since everything seemed to be going downhill for me lately. I added, "I don't know what I would've done without your help. I can never thank you enough."
I turned to leave, but James quickly called me back, "Uh, Olivia?" I paused and turned around to face him. James was looking kind of nervous. His face was kind of flushed, his eyes looked nervous, and he had jammed his hands in the pockets of his loose black pants. I tilted my head towards him asked, "Yeah? Did you want something?"
"Kinda," James replied with a nervous smile. "I was just wondering something. Um, will you go to the dance with me on Monday?" I was totally caught off guard by the question. My jaw dropped and I found that I was staring at him with eyes the size of saucers. James was asking me to the dance? Why the hell would he do that? I obviously was no beauty and certainly wasn't a good dancer. I tried to move my lips, but no sound came out.
"She can't go to the dance with you," a loud voice came from out of nowhere. I spun around to see Ray sanding angrily behind me. He definitely wasn't in a good mood again. He took my hand, squeezed it hard, and continued, "She's going to the dance with me. Just ask that little red-head about the dance. You know you like her." Ray gripped my hand tighter and pulled me towards the entrance of the school without even bothering to give me a chance to say goodbye to James.
Just before Ray and I reached the entrance of the school, I dared to glance behind me to sneak a look at James. The sight behind me made my heart twist painfully for some reason. Behind me, James was indeed talking to the pretty auburn-haired girl that I had seen him holding hands with a few days ago. There was no doubt in my mind that he was asking her to the dance. And sure as hell, the girl would say yes. I tried to think of that girl's name. After searching around in my brain for a few minutes, I finally remembered that her name was Kristen. For some reason, everyone called her Kitty though. It was a nickname that she had always had. I was so into my thoughts about Kitty, that I forgot all about Ray squeezing the blood out of my wrist as he tugged me away to the alleyway as usual.
When we reached the alley, I was still in a trance-like state. Ray waved a hand in front of my face and said, "Hello? Earth to Olivia!" I blinked and quickly snapped out of it. I hung my head and hoped that Ray would treat me better than yesterday. I continued looking at the ground while Ray looked me up and down. His gaze lingered on the cut under my chin and on my black and blue eye. Ray tapped his chin and looked thoughtful. That wasn't a good sign. Whenever Ray was looking pensive, it meant he was planning something...something bad.
"You are going to go to the dance with me on Monday," Ray stated. I knew I didn't have a choice about it, so I didn't bother saying anything. Ray walked in a circle around me and examined me carefully, saying, "Do your best to get rid of that cut on your chin, okay? That's just plain ugly. Do the same with your eye too. I don't want to be seen at the winter dance with the school's ugliest bitch. And here, take this." Ray extended his hand to me and opened it.
I gasped when I saw the hundred dollar bill in Ray's hand. Confused, I slowly reached my hand forward to take the money from him. I couldn't figure out why he was going to give me money, but it didn't really matter why. After all, I usually spent long, hard-working hours for this kind of money. If Ray was offering it to me for free, I was in no position to deny it.
Ray smirked as I carefully tucked the money inside my school bag, "Buy yourself a pretty dress with that. I have a good feeling that you don't own a single dress. Isn't that right?" Feeling slightly ashamed, I nodded. As a matter of fact, I didn't even remember when I had last owned a dress. It had probably been a long time ago when my dad was still alive. My mother never had bothered to buy new clothes for me after my dad had passed away.
Ray picked me up and set me almost gently on my back. He was being carefully not to bang me up anymore so I would look acceptable for the school dance. Maybe the dance wasn't that bad of a thing after all! Now I was starting to wish they had announced the date of the dance sooner so Ray would've been more careful with me. As Ray's hands slipped under my shirt, he added, "Oh, one more thing. I don't want you talking to that Hetfield kid at all! I'm serious, Olivia. It really pisses me off."
I nodded silently, still not saying anything. I mean, why should I waste my breath on Ray? He wasn't worth my breath or energy. I couldn't see why James was making Ray so angry though. I didn't understand why Ray was so possessive of me. It wasn't like Ray felt any true affection for me or anything. I was just his little toy, nothing more than that.
I was thinking all these things when Ray yanked down my skirt and began slamming into me. That's when I realized why Ray was so possessive; it was because he was completely whacked. He was really sick in the mind. I couldn't help but wonder if he had mental problems and if he had ever seen a doctor for it.
~ ~ ~ ~
The next four hours seemed to pass by very slowly as I waited for my shift at work to end. Ray had been surprisingly gentle with me today, which had made everything more bearable. My legs still tingled uncomfortably and my eye was tender and sore, but at least I didn't have any new wounds to deal with today. Tapping my foot, I looked up at the clock to see how much longer it would be until my shift was over. As soon as I had finished work, I was going to go to the clothing store right around the corner and see what I could do about finding a dress for the school dance that I was required to attend...with Ray.
As much as I had pretended not to like dresses and fancy things, I had to admit that I was actually pretty excited about getting a new dress. Everyday, I wore the usual pair of holey jeans and one of my black shirts or sweatshirts. Wearing something pretty, delicate, and feminine sent shivers up my spine. It had been a while since I had thought about being beautiful. As a matter of fact, I had pretty much learned to stop caring about my appearance in the last few months. After all, it wasn't like I was trying to impress anyone. I had done my very best to stay away from the boys at school and to avoid their attention, and to be honest, I had done a pretty good job in doing that. None of the boys gave me a second look besides for Ray and James. Ray obviously liked it that was as he was determined to keep me all to himself.
However, I felt a sudden urge to want to act like a normal teenager on the night of the dance. I would dress up, do something nice with my hair, and maybe just try to have fun for once. I couldn't even remember the last time I had really had any fun. It had certainly been a long time ago. Definitely before school started and before I met the monster who was Ray. And even though I longed to deny it, I felt like I indeed was trying to impress someone at the dance. But that was stupid. Who the hell would I want to impress at the dance? It couldn't be James. I mean, he was already going to the dance with Kitty. I should just be a good girl and stay out of their way the night of the dance. But really, who ever said I was a good girl?
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