Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Casually Obsessed
I watched the streets pass, carefully taking in my surroundings. Charlotte sat beside me. I had her hand grasped firmly in my own; it was a comfort to know that she was here with me now, just like she had always been.
“Do you think it will rain today?” I asked, searching the black and grey clouds for my own answer.
“You know they say rain is good luck. They do say that don’t they?” replied Charlotte.
“I think they say anything to keep you happy” I replied. “I guess anything to keep the ‘bridezilla’ calm” I added as an afterthought.
“Maybe” laughed Charlotte. “I still can’t believe you’re getting married though. Remember the days when we vowed we’d never get married? God we were so naive”.
“Yeah” I nodded. “I never thought I would get married. I mean, I grew so despondent with love. I didn’t think anything like this could happen to me. Of course, it also didn’t help that anyone that I knew who was married, or in love, was so unhappy or fucked up”.
“Not to mention our love lives being fucked up” added Charlotte. “I mean, fuck, I am surprised we made it out alive even”.
“It was touch and go for a few years” I replied, watching the trees as they passed.
“Don’t I know it” she sighed, squeezing my hand. “Are you sure this is what you want?” she asked, her question caught me off guard. I could barely make sense of everything in my head, how was I supposed to make sense of it to someone else?
“I’ve never really known what I wanted” I replied.
*
“Tell me what it is you want?” yelled Charlotte, “and it better be a fucking good answer Pete, because I am so close to fucking throwing your sorry ass off a fucking cliff”. I bit my lip; I was trying so hard to stop the tears from falling. I couldn’t let myself cry, not this time, this time I wasn’t going to cry.
“I want to talk to her” he replied, trying to push through the bolted door. “I just want to talk to her, please Charlie. I need to talk to her. I need to see her”. My heart felt like it was going to explode, I had so many conflicting emotions running through me.
“Pete that is something I can’t do” she snapped back. “She doesn’t want to see you, I suggest you go home”.
“Charlie please, I love her, please” he begged. “I know I fucked up” he started. That was nothing I hadn’t heard before, but his words didn’t have the same effect as they used to.
“That’s an understatement” she replied cutting him off. “Go home Pete. Go home and sober up”. Of course he was drunk.
“No I need to see her, I need to explain” he persisted. “She was nothing, just some girl I met, she meant nothing”. Anger flared inside me. Why was he here? Why did he need to talk to me about this? I needed time to think, to process. I wasn’t a fool, I couldn’t just forgive him, I couldn’t make myself forget. “It was nothing” he continued. I got to my feet.
“Fucking go home” I yelled through the door. “Go home back to your fucking slut. I don’t want you here, just go home and leave me the fuck alone” I screamed pushing against the door. It slammed shut. I heard a crash but I didn’t care, I didn’t want to care. Charlotte made a move to grab me but I pushed passed her into the bathroom. “She meant nothing to him and I meant nothing to him” I said slamming the door. I lay down on the cold tiles and waited. I waited for my heart to stop racing, my head to stop pounding, I waited to wake up from a nightmare.
I woke up on the floor of the bathroom. I shivered against the tiles, pulling myself up, rubbing at the tile shaped indents in my skin. I didn’t want to believe that yesterday had been real, but there was no denying the horrible feelings that were taking over me.
I dragged myself out of the bathroom and into my own bed, pulling the covers over myself. I wanted to create a bubble, a layer of protection against myself and the world. I closed my eyes and tried to push every single thought from my mind, but it was like it had kicked into over drive. All I could think about was her. She, the woman he had slept with, the woman he declared was nothing but he had shared the exact same intimacies with her as he had with me. I felt sick, sick to the core. He has always promised to be with me forever, and that we were going to last through everything but now I know he was lying. It was hard to think that almost everything he had ever told me was a lie, it meant that my entire life was a lie.
A knock on my door interrupted my swirling thoughts. I don’t know how long I had been lying here, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t about to more.
“Em?” a soft voice questioned. “Em, are you in here?” Light flooded the room as the door was slowly opened. “I’m so sorry Em” the voice choked out.
“I know you are Patrick” I replied, biting down on my lip and trying not to cry. I hated crying. “I’m sorry too”.
*
“I love him, Charlie, I honestly love him” I said, turning to face her. God, she had been with me through so much, as I had for her. In another life we must have been sisters, I felt so strongly for her.
“After everything, how could you not?” she replied. “But are you sure this is the right thing to do? I mean, you know I am happy for you, and I will support you in everything you do”.
“You always have” I interrupted. She squeezed my hand again with a smile.
“And I always will” she replied. “I just want to make sure that you are sure. I want to know that you aren’t just doing this because it’s the next thing on the list, I want to know that it is something that you want”.
“I don’t know how to explain it” I replied, once again glancing out the window. “I love him, with all my heart”. I didn’t know where to start, where was it exactly that I decided this was right for me? For us?
Love;
–noun
1. A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3. Sexual passion or desire.
4. A person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
5. (Used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?
6. A love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.
7. Sexual intercourse; copulation.
8. (Initial capital letter ) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid.
9. Affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbour.
10. Strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books.
11. The object or thing so liked: The theatre was her great love.
12. The benevolent affection of god for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God.
13. Chiefly Tennis. a score of zero; nothing.
14. A word formerly used in communications to represent the letter L.
–verb (used with object)
15. To have love or affection for: All her pupils love her.
16. To have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).
17. To have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music.
18. To need or require; benefit greatly from: Plants love sunlight.
19. To embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover.
20. To have sexual intercourse with.
–verb (used without object)
21. To have love or affection for another person; be in love.
—Verb phrase
22. Love up, to hug and cuddle: She loves him up every chance she gets.
—Idioms
23. For love,
A. Out of affection or liking; for pleasure.
B. Without compensation; gratuitously: He took care of the poor for love.
24. For the love of, in consideration of; for the sake of: For the love of mercy, stop that noise.
25. In love, infused with or feeling deep affection or passion: a youth always in love.
26. In love with, feeling deep affection or passion for (a person, idea, occupation, etc.); enamoured of: in love with the girl next door; in love with one's work.
27. Make love,
A. To embrace and kiss as lovers.
B. To engage in sexual activity.
28. No love lost, dislike; animosity: There was no love lost between the two brothers.
—Antonyms
1, 2. hatred, dislike. 15, 16. detest, hate.
“I don’t question your love for him” she replied.
“You question my motives?” I asked. I didn’t know how to take this, and I didn’t even know where to begin to explain. She was right to question me, in a way. I had always said that I would never get married, my parents marriage dissolved around me, and I had my heart broken too many times to want to ever invest myself in one person, yet here I was getting married.
“It’s just, you were always the type to never get married, to be independent” she said softly.
“I know” I replied. I watched the dark clouds overhead. I didn’t really like the rain. “I guess we always make sacrifices for the ones we love” I shrugged.
“Not if it means giving up part of who we are” retorted Charlotte. I smiled; she always looked out for me.
“I think in this case I’m gaining something” I replied. She looked at me in confusion, I turned back to face the window. “I really hope it doesn’t rain” I added.
“Do you think it will rain today?” I asked, searching the black and grey clouds for my own answer.
“You know they say rain is good luck. They do say that don’t they?” replied Charlotte.
“I think they say anything to keep you happy” I replied. “I guess anything to keep the ‘bridezilla’ calm” I added as an afterthought.
“Maybe” laughed Charlotte. “I still can’t believe you’re getting married though. Remember the days when we vowed we’d never get married? God we were so naive”.
“Yeah” I nodded. “I never thought I would get married. I mean, I grew so despondent with love. I didn’t think anything like this could happen to me. Of course, it also didn’t help that anyone that I knew who was married, or in love, was so unhappy or fucked up”.
“Not to mention our love lives being fucked up” added Charlotte. “I mean, fuck, I am surprised we made it out alive even”.
“It was touch and go for a few years” I replied, watching the trees as they passed.
“Don’t I know it” she sighed, squeezing my hand. “Are you sure this is what you want?” she asked, her question caught me off guard. I could barely make sense of everything in my head, how was I supposed to make sense of it to someone else?
“I’ve never really known what I wanted” I replied.
*
“Tell me what it is you want?” yelled Charlotte, “and it better be a fucking good answer Pete, because I am so close to fucking throwing your sorry ass off a fucking cliff”. I bit my lip; I was trying so hard to stop the tears from falling. I couldn’t let myself cry, not this time, this time I wasn’t going to cry.
“I want to talk to her” he replied, trying to push through the bolted door. “I just want to talk to her, please Charlie. I need to talk to her. I need to see her”. My heart felt like it was going to explode, I had so many conflicting emotions running through me.
“Pete that is something I can’t do” she snapped back. “She doesn’t want to see you, I suggest you go home”.
“Charlie please, I love her, please” he begged. “I know I fucked up” he started. That was nothing I hadn’t heard before, but his words didn’t have the same effect as they used to.
“That’s an understatement” she replied cutting him off. “Go home Pete. Go home and sober up”. Of course he was drunk.
“No I need to see her, I need to explain” he persisted. “She was nothing, just some girl I met, she meant nothing”. Anger flared inside me. Why was he here? Why did he need to talk to me about this? I needed time to think, to process. I wasn’t a fool, I couldn’t just forgive him, I couldn’t make myself forget. “It was nothing” he continued. I got to my feet.
“Fucking go home” I yelled through the door. “Go home back to your fucking slut. I don’t want you here, just go home and leave me the fuck alone” I screamed pushing against the door. It slammed shut. I heard a crash but I didn’t care, I didn’t want to care. Charlotte made a move to grab me but I pushed passed her into the bathroom. “She meant nothing to him and I meant nothing to him” I said slamming the door. I lay down on the cold tiles and waited. I waited for my heart to stop racing, my head to stop pounding, I waited to wake up from a nightmare.
I woke up on the floor of the bathroom. I shivered against the tiles, pulling myself up, rubbing at the tile shaped indents in my skin. I didn’t want to believe that yesterday had been real, but there was no denying the horrible feelings that were taking over me.
I dragged myself out of the bathroom and into my own bed, pulling the covers over myself. I wanted to create a bubble, a layer of protection against myself and the world. I closed my eyes and tried to push every single thought from my mind, but it was like it had kicked into over drive. All I could think about was her. She, the woman he had slept with, the woman he declared was nothing but he had shared the exact same intimacies with her as he had with me. I felt sick, sick to the core. He has always promised to be with me forever, and that we were going to last through everything but now I know he was lying. It was hard to think that almost everything he had ever told me was a lie, it meant that my entire life was a lie.
A knock on my door interrupted my swirling thoughts. I don’t know how long I had been lying here, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t about to more.
“Em?” a soft voice questioned. “Em, are you in here?” Light flooded the room as the door was slowly opened. “I’m so sorry Em” the voice choked out.
“I know you are Patrick” I replied, biting down on my lip and trying not to cry. I hated crying. “I’m sorry too”.
*
“I love him, Charlie, I honestly love him” I said, turning to face her. God, she had been with me through so much, as I had for her. In another life we must have been sisters, I felt so strongly for her.
“After everything, how could you not?” she replied. “But are you sure this is the right thing to do? I mean, you know I am happy for you, and I will support you in everything you do”.
“You always have” I interrupted. She squeezed my hand again with a smile.
“And I always will” she replied. “I just want to make sure that you are sure. I want to know that you aren’t just doing this because it’s the next thing on the list, I want to know that it is something that you want”.
“I don’t know how to explain it” I replied, once again glancing out the window. “I love him, with all my heart”. I didn’t know where to start, where was it exactly that I decided this was right for me? For us?
Love;
–noun
1. A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3. Sexual passion or desire.
4. A person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
5. (Used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?
6. A love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.
7. Sexual intercourse; copulation.
8. (Initial capital letter ) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid.
9. Affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbour.
10. Strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books.
11. The object or thing so liked: The theatre was her great love.
12. The benevolent affection of god for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God.
13. Chiefly Tennis. a score of zero; nothing.
14. A word formerly used in communications to represent the letter L.
–verb (used with object)
15. To have love or affection for: All her pupils love her.
16. To have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).
17. To have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music.
18. To need or require; benefit greatly from: Plants love sunlight.
19. To embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover.
20. To have sexual intercourse with.
–verb (used without object)
21. To have love or affection for another person; be in love.
—Verb phrase
22. Love up, to hug and cuddle: She loves him up every chance she gets.
—Idioms
23. For love,
A. Out of affection or liking; for pleasure.
B. Without compensation; gratuitously: He took care of the poor for love.
24. For the love of, in consideration of; for the sake of: For the love of mercy, stop that noise.
25. In love, infused with or feeling deep affection or passion: a youth always in love.
26. In love with, feeling deep affection or passion for (a person, idea, occupation, etc.); enamoured of: in love with the girl next door; in love with one's work.
27. Make love,
A. To embrace and kiss as lovers.
B. To engage in sexual activity.
28. No love lost, dislike; animosity: There was no love lost between the two brothers.
—Antonyms
1, 2. hatred, dislike. 15, 16. detest, hate.
“I don’t question your love for him” she replied.
“You question my motives?” I asked. I didn’t know how to take this, and I didn’t even know where to begin to explain. She was right to question me, in a way. I had always said that I would never get married, my parents marriage dissolved around me, and I had my heart broken too many times to want to ever invest myself in one person, yet here I was getting married.
“It’s just, you were always the type to never get married, to be independent” she said softly.
“I know” I replied. I watched the dark clouds overhead. I didn’t really like the rain. “I guess we always make sacrifices for the ones we love” I shrugged.
“Not if it means giving up part of who we are” retorted Charlotte. I smiled; she always looked out for me.
“I think in this case I’m gaining something” I replied. She looked at me in confusion, I turned back to face the window. “I really hope it doesn’t rain” I added.
Sign up to rate and review this story