FicWad

Before I knew it, the next few days had passed and it was finally Monday afternoon! We didn't have school Monday because of the dance, so I had been home all day, trying to find things to do to make the time pass. My mom had drunk herself into a stupor and was lying on the couch with the television turn on. She hadn't asked about the gun, and something told me she might not even remember that she had tried to shoot me a few nights before. She just kept getting worse and worse. Looking into her eyes was like looking into the eyes of a dead woman. I did all I could for her, but there was limit to as far as I would go. I fed her, took care of her if she hurt herself, but that was all. I didn't know any doctors around town to send her to, and even if I did know a doctor, I certainly wouldn't call them to come over to our house. My mom's case was kind of hopeless at this point. She was so fucked up that nobody could really do anything for her anymore. All I could do watch her slowly fall into death's open hands.

Glancing at the clock, I figured it was probably time to get ready for the dance. I would have to leave the house in a few minutes to get there. Earlier this morning, I had painted my fingernails a dark burgundy color. Somehow, I had even managed not to smudge them! The next step was to get my dress on. Locking the door to my room out of habit, I yanked off the skinny jeans and tank top I had been wearing. I slipped the emerald green dress over my head and did the zipper to it. After that, I looked into the mirror. The dress looked way too pretty for a girl like me to be wearing. It showed off every curve of my body and the neckline was much lower than anything I had worn before. I couldn't help but think that this dress would've looked so much better on Kitty since she had a much better figure than I had. She had pretty, lustrous curves while my body was still much more like a little girl's. I still hadn't even really fully developed my breasts yet. I was pretty flat-chested for the most part.

I turned my thoughts away from my body and tried to figure out what I should do next. I obviously would have to do something about my hair. Holding a long strand of it up to examine, I tried to think about what I should do with it. I usually wore it down in the normal pin straight style. Maybe some curls would look better tonight though? To try something new, I put my hair up into a high ponytail and then curled it so that the locks tumbled down my back. Tilting my head to the side, I decided the curls looked okay for a fancy occasion like tonight. The last step was doing my makeup. I stole my mom's burgundy lipstick and applied it to my lips. I was surprised how well the shade matched the color of my nails. After that, I applied mascara and eyeliner. I honestly couldn't remember the last time I had done my makeup. It had probably been months since I had opened the mascara tube.

Figuring that I was as good as I was going to get, I gave myself one last examination in the mirror and then skipped down the stairs with a light heart and soaring spirits. One look at the couch told me my mom would be knocked out for a long time. Deciding not to worry about her, I slipped my feet into my only pair of high heels before heading out into the night.

The walk to school didn't take very long, and before I knew it, I was standing right outside the entrance of the school. For once, there weren't the usual cliques and groups chit chatted outside the door. They were probably already in the gym. Feeling slightly nervous, I walked down the hallway and hesitantly opened the door to the gym. The sight inside took my breath away. All the girls were images of swirling silk and lace while the guys had done their best to clean up and look as sexy as possible. There were so many people in the gym that it was hard to move. In the center of the room, couples were dancing to loud, head-banging music. To the right side of the room, there was a large table with food and drinks.

Unsure of what to do or where to go, I just kind of stood in the entrance of the gym like a girl who didn't fit in. After a few moments of indecision, I decided to go over to the food and drinks. I never had enough to eat at home and my stomach was rumbling loudly. Once I had slipped through the crowd, I poured myself a glass of punch and took a big swig of it. I just about spat it out when I tasted the contents. There was obviously alcohol in this. Somehow, one of the students must have added it to the punch. Deciding that I definitely didn't want to get drunk, I disposed the rest of the punch and started nibbling at some pretzels that were lying out on the table instead.

While I munched, I found that my eyes were wandering the room for two people; James and Ray. I was looking for Ray because I wanted to avoid him tonight for as long as possibly. And James? I had no idea why I was looking for him. Then I suddenly remembered that he had agreed to give me the rest of my social studies homework tonight. Just as I was thinking this, I noticed a figure across the room with curly blonde hair. Standing next to him was a pretty red-head who was no doubt Kitty.

Knowing this had to be James, I started to weave my way through the crowd over to them. But before I reached either of them, a sharp hand grabbed my wrist and turned me around. Trying to keep my disappointment inside, I turned around to see Ray looking me up and down. Giving me an appraising look, he said, "You sure look nice tonight. Come on, honey, let's dance."

And without waiting for my reply, Ray pulled me onto the dance floor. I had thought dancing would be hard, but to be honest, there wasn't much too it. All you had to do was sway to the music and move your feet. It wasn't like we were doing the waltz or anything. The way Ray was dancing was bothering me though. He kept pulling me close so that our thighs were pasted together and he would impulsively slam me against him at times.

All the while, I kept my eyes posted for James and Kitty. For some reason, I wanted to know exactly what they were doing. I knew it wasn't any of my business, but I couldn't pretend that I wasn't interested in what the two were up to. After the seventh or eighth dance, my eyes fell on James and Kitty again. They were hanging out by the food and drinks table. James was guzzling something out of a large glass he was holding while Kitty was looking at him with a dreamy-eyed expression.

A few minutes later, James looked up and met my gaze. Embarrassed to be caught staring, I quickly looked away. James didn't see any reason to be embarrassed though. He gave me one of his silly grins and waved vigorously to me. He poked Kitty next to him and pointed to me. Kitty turned to me with a big smile, but her smile faded as she looked over my dress. A strong pang of guilt pulsed through my body. Now, buying Kitty's dress didn't seem like such a good idea.

I wanted to go over to get my homework from James and apologize to Kitty, but Ray swept me away at that moment and pulled me to the opposite room of the dance floor. But even though we were on the other side of the room, my eyes stayed locked on James and Kitty all the while. During the next dance, I noticed James and Kitty stand up and disappear in the crowd. I squinted; where the hell had they gone to? Then I noticed a little door by where they had been standing. The only place they could've gone to would've been inside that door. What where they doing in there though?

Once the dance was finished, Ray pulled me off the dance floor and yawned, "I think that's enough dancing for one night. I've showed my pretty little chick off, so now I'm going to get myself something to drink. You can do whatever you want for a while since you've been good tonight, girl. I'll come get you later." Ray released my arm and strode off to the table with food and drinks, waving to some of his buddies. I was so stunned that Ray had just left me alone, I stood without moving for a few seconds.

Now that I had nothing to do for the rest of the night, what was I going to do? I had eaten my fill of pretzels earlier and I certainly didn't want any of that "punch" to drink, so I definitely didn't want to sit around the table with the food and drinks. Then I remembered James and Kitty. I searched around the gym for them for a long moment, but couldn't find them anywhere. Figuring they must still be hiding out in that room, I decided I would go find them. I was still feeling pretty bad about Kitty's dress, and I needed the social studies homework from James for tomorrow.

Now that I had a destination in mind, I made my way through the crowds of happy, dancing couples and to the mysterious door on the side of the room. Pressing my ear against it like an eavesdropper, I listened to see if I heard James or Kitty's voice inside. There was absolute silence from inside the room. I frowned to myself; maybe I had been wrong about them coming into this room? At this point though, I figured I might as well pop in the room and see if they were in there. After all, where else could they be? It wasn't exactly like they could fade into thin air or anything.

I pressed my hand against the door knob and opened it as inconspicuously as possible. Once the door was open, I slipped inside quickly and closed it behind me. For some reason, I felt like I shouldn't be here. It felt like I was intruding or something. Once I was inside, I found myself in pitch blackness. Blinking to adjust my eyes to the sudden darkness, I searched the wall for a light switch. To my relief, I found one and flicked it on to turn on the light. Suddenly, I recognized my surroundings. This was the gym storage room. I looked around for a few minutes, but James and Kitty were nowhere to be seen. That kind of only made sense though. I mean, why in the world would Kitty and James be hiding out in a gym storage room?

Just as I was about to exit the room and head back out to the gym, I thought I heard a faint noise coming from the opposite end of the room. The noise definitely didn't sound like a word, it was more like a whimper of some sort. Curiously, I switched paths and walked over to where the noise had sounded. When I was to the other side of the room, I noticed another door there that I had never seen before. That was odd. Then I remembered that the door lead to the closet. James and Kitty couldn't possibly be in the closet, could they? My hand hesitated on the doorknob. Should I enter?

I only hesitated for a few seconds before making a decision. I was already this far, why not see if James and Kitty were in the room? After all, it wasn't like I was doing anything bad. I was just searching for some friends. I couldn't shake off an unnerving feeling though. It was like my brain was yelling at me to walk away and not open the door. That didn't make any sense though. There certainly wasn't any reason why I shouldn't enter the door.

Squaring my shoulder, I took a deep breath and pulled the door open silently. The sight before my eyes would be a sight that would stay embedded in my mind for the rest of my life. It was a sight I would never get out of my head. If I had known what I was going to find inside that closet, I would've wished I had listening to my gut. That's a lesson everyone should learn; listen to your gut. If something feels wrong, it probably is wrong.

As soon as the door was open, I had to fling a hand up to my mouth to muffle a gasp. On a pile of soft, gym mats used for crunches and other activities, were James and Kitty entwined intimately on the floor. James was riding Kitty with a fervor that I still can't put into words to this day, and Kitty was lying beneath him with her arms around his neck and her legs wrapped around his waist. James' golden hair was flying out behind him as he thrust in and out of Kitty. Kitty was moaning and calling his name softly as she reached her orgasm. Their clothes had been tossed carelessly aside in the corner of the room.

I was still standing in the doorway, completely shocked. Whatever I had expected to find, well, it certainly hadn't been this. And for some reason, nothing hurt me more than this. It felt like a fist were squeezing all my insides and tying them up into knots. My breath came in short, tight gasps and my legs felt cold and useless beneath me. I knew I had to get out of here as soon as possible though. As I tried to force feeling back into my legs and make them carry me far away, James happened to look up. When he saw me standing in the doorway, his eyes widened and he looked at me with a sorrowful, innocent gaze.

Kitty, wondering what James was doing, twisted underneath his body to get a look at me. That was too much for me. Without a second thought, I turned and ran from the room and out of the gym storage room. Once I was in the gym, I kept running. Now that I had started running, it was like my feet couldn't stop. But once I was in the empty school hallways, I found I had no strength left. I sank to my knees and buried my head in my hands. Tears had been leaking down my face silently, but now they came in torrents. I let out loud, shoulder-shaking sobs as I huddled on the ground.

I no longer cared that I was ruining my makeup or crumpling my dress. All that seemed so petty to me now. All I could feel was the pain that was ripping my heart in two. I couldn't quite figure out why I was feeling quite so miserable though. Why had the scene with Kitty and James bothered me so much? Teenagers having sex was a totally normal thing. I had seen it on television and other places several times. It wasn't like it was a new concept to me. So why was I crying my heart out like I was now? Was it possible that I was jealous of Kitty? No, of course not. There was nothing to be jealous of. She had nothing that I wanted...right? I tried to make myself say no to that question, but my heart was telling me something totally different.

Abruptly, a hand clamped down on my shoulder and yanked me to my feet. I blinked through a mess of mascara and tears to find Ray gazing at me angrily. Uh oh, I was certainly in trouble. He grabbed my arm and started pulling me out the door, saying, "Stop crying, you stupid bitch. You're making me look bad."