Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Overly Attracted

I Believe

by Parawhore998 0 reviews


Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: PG-13 - Genres:  - Published: 2010-04-23 - Updated: 2010-06-05 - 2778 words

I ran up to him to slap him in the face. "How could you do this to me?" I yelled with so much anger. "It was a fucking mistake, can't you just forgive me? I forgave you last time you slept with my fucking brother!" he growled. "What you did was unforgivable" I shot back. The tears that were formed in my eyes prevented me from having a clear vision of him. "You're leaving?" he asked. "Fuck yeah I'm leaving. I am not staying here with you" I yelled.

"What about Carly?" his voice was a bit softer now. "Fucking screw Carly, this is my life. She's a mistake. I don't want anything to do with her. Because I thought my love for you meant something. Now I know it doesn't so what we made together doesn't mean anything to me either" I flipped open my drawers to take all my clothes out. I took my bag out of the closet and started packing all my things. "How can you leave your child like that?" he was getting angry as well.

"This is our child. The baby is related to you. I guess you didn't understand the meaning of 'having nothing to do with you' the baby pulls a tie between me and you. I just want to leave and never see you again" I managed to finish packing. "I don't ever want to see you again either. This baby doesn't deserve a careless mother like you" he gritted through his teeth coldly. "Then good, we both get what we want. I'm out" I gathered all my things and stormed out of his house and out of his life.

I got up from my bed and my eyes opened suddenly. I sighed, breathing in and out. I just had another nightmare. Shaking my head slowly, I tried to remember what the nightmare was about. I pictured a dark room. A dark figure was coming to get me. I couldn't move, I was just crying helplessly. There was a knock on my door. "Carly?" my dad's voice made me sigh in relief. "Uh dad?" I was breathing in and out slowly. "Do you need me to come in?" he asked. "Dad, can you please come? I'm scared" my voice started trembling and I started shaking. My dad turned the doorknob immediately and ran straight to me, pulling me into a tight hug.

I pressed my face against his chest and allowed myself to cry freely. "Honey, everything is going to be okay" he kept whispering the same words to me. And can you still believe I'm sixteen? I wish I was a normal teenager. My life would be so much better if I stopped having these nightmares. My life would also be better if I had a mother. I've been having these nightmares since I was five. My dad was very concerned about my problem that he wouldn't even go on tour with his band. My dad was in a band with his twin brother and two best friends. I didn't know why my dad and my mom broke up. Were they ever married?

Every time I ask my dad about my mom, he'd just look away and pretend to ignore my question. When I ask him again, he says he doesn't want to talk about it. This is the reason why I know nothing about my mother. I wish I could meet her. Did she die? Is that why my dad never wants to talk about her? "Baby, everything's okay now. If you need anything, just get me" my dad kissed my forehead and slowly walked out of my room, looking back at me several times. I feel bad for my dad; he has to deal with me all by himself. Why wasn't my mother there for me?

I'm not the easiest person to deal with. I have problem talking to people and I have trust issues. I'm always scared of my surroundings. I sometimes have anger issues and my dad has to deal with all that. He is my biggest inspiration. I want to be as strong, loving, and talented as my father. Yawning, I attempted at falling back asleep. Usually after nightmares, I could easily fall back to sleep. I need to get some sleep for I go to school tomorrow.

In the morning, I woke up and groaned. I was still tired from the nightmare last night. Why do I have to live on my life like that? "Carly babe, are you awake?" my dad called from his room. "Yeah dad" I called back. "Go get ready, Uncle Matt will drop you off to school" he said. "Okay" I quickly got ready. I put on a pair of blue jeans and a tank top with an American flag on it. I searched the drawers for my blue sweater. I found it under my bed. Rolling my eyes, I put the sweater on. When I was done, I slowly walked down the stairs to see my Uncle Matthew making me breakfast.

Uncle Matthew was the best. He wakes up extra early and comes to our house and makes me breakfast almost every morning. Plus he sends me to school. "Morning" I grumbled. "Morning to you too" he said cheerfully. "I had another nightmare" I shivered. "I'm sorry, did you call your dad?" he asked. "He heard me scream I think" I sighed. "It's okay, everything will be okay" he told me the same words my dad told me. I guess that's why they are twins. I started thinking about school.

"Oh shit" I dropped my hands on the table. "What's up?" Uncle Matt chuckled. "I forgot that today was my music class performance" I gasped. "Really? How come you never told me you had one? I could have helped you prepare" he said. "I forgot all about it. Uncle Matt?" I started. "Hmm?" he put a plate of bacon in front of me. "Do you ever miss playing music?" I asked. "Of course I do, sometimes I wake up in the morning and wonder why Madina Lake stopped making music" he sighed.

"Do you think your fans missed you?" I asked. He began laughing suddenly, "Most of our fans are probably in their twenties or thirties or maybe even forties" "Really? How old are you?" I asked, foolishly. "I'm the same age as you dad, smart. Being 45 doesn't make me feel any younger" he pouted. "But you act like a freaking teenager" I chuckled. "Anyways Carly, do you want a music career?" Matt asked. "Yeah, that's why I need to impress the judge today" I replied. "Judge?" he stared at me with confusion. "Mr. Sandal told us that this musician was coming over to watch all of us perform and he chooses three people to go on tour with him or something like that" I explained.

"Then are you prepared?" he asked. "I guess I'll just play any old song on the top of my head" I shrugged. I could play guitar and piano by ear. My dad taught me how to sing for he was the singer of Madina Lake. Of course music would be a big part of my life if my father and uncle were musicians. "Matt?" I started again. "Yeah?" I took a deep breath before opening my mouth. I never had the guts to ask anyone but my dad. After all these years, nobody ever told me anything about my mom. When my dad never tells me about my mom, I ask Uncle Matthew. I asked him when I was nine. He told me I was too young and I should wait when I'm older.

"Can you tell me about my mom?" I asked him, crossing my fingers behind my back. He sighed deeply. "You have to get to school young lady" he took his car keys from the counter. "But will you promise to tell me about my mother when I get home?" I asked. "I promise Carly, I promise. Just don't tell your dad" he whispered the last part. "I promise" I nodded. "Now let's get going" he looked down at my plate, "you didn't eat". "I'm not hungry" I answered. He shook his head. "Dad, I'm going to school now!" I yelled loud enough for my dad to hear. "Bye honey" I heard him yell back.

I followed Uncle Matthew to the car. He blasted some music out loud. Five minutes into the song, he shook his head. "What?" I asked. "Its just music these days" he sighed. "What about it? I mean these over produced stuff are shit but you never complained before" I pointed out. "I do but you never hear me complain" the rest of the car ride was filled with small talks and random topics. I can't believe my dad and his friends act like a bunch of seventeen year olds. It's like age never changes them. Uncle Matt was like that too. I wish I can still act like this when I'm forty.

When I walked in the building, Norah and Sandy greeted me. "Did you have any nightmares last night?" Sandy asked. "Yeah" I nodded. "Are you feeling okay now? Your music class performance is today, do you know that?" Norah asked. "I do now" "Do you have anything planned out?" Sandy asked. "Nope, I'll just make it up as I go along" I shrugged. "You want to go on tour with Never Shout Never do you?" Norah asked. "Yeah but it doesn't mean that I'm going to fail"

"I'm not saying you do. I mean you should at least put more effort into your work" Norah defended. "Oh well, we'll see what happens" I shrugged. "Let's go to class then" we walked into the classroom. When I looked up, Gary smiled at me. I quickly looked away. Why wasn't he over me yet? What the hell does he see in me that I don't? We went out for almost a year and I broke it off because I wasn't looking for any relationships. Love never means anything to me anymore. I don't want a relationship to be a distraction to my future goals.

"Gary's looking at you" Sandy mumbled in my year. "I know and I can't stand it. He needs to get over me" I growled."Apparently he's not" she mumbled and sat down beside me. The teacher walked in and began the class. The day went by fast. I learned many things in my academic classes today. My friends and I had a nice discussion about our favorite musical legends at lunch. Some of my friends admire Madina Lake and they still couldn't believe up to this day that I'm Nathan Leone's daughter. I just wish that they knew something about my father's ex girlfriends. I've searched online before but there weren't any sources about his relationship with women. Did he even date anyone?

I got my instrument from the closet in my music classroom. "Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to wish you guys' good luck. The man sitting in the auditorium is Christopher Drew. He uses his alias Never Shout Never. His music career embarked at around 2008 so this man knows what he's talking about. And he will choose three musicians in here to go on tour with him. Good luck to all of you" Mr. Sandal gave us time to tune our instruments before leading us to the auditorium. 2008. Wow, this man has been around for a pretty long time. Was he still making music? My dad and Uncle Matt started Madina Lake at around 2006 and they've been MIA for almost seven years.

When we got there, a middle aged man was sitting on the stage. He smiled and waved at us when we showed up. We all sat down at the front row and he got up and began walking around. His eyes scanned everyone. His eyes didn't move when they landed on me. He was examining me. Should I be alarmed by this man? He was deep into thinking while he was sinking in my physical features. Shaking his head, he looked away from me and began to talk. "Hello everyone, I'm Christopher Drew. I'm a musician as everyone knows. I just want you all to have fun and sing your heart out" he kept talking on and on about what he sees in a real musician.

Jeremy was up first. He sang a very old Queen tune, "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing". His voice was very impressive. Christopher praised him for his guitar playing abilities and his jazz style voice. As the next few people went up to perform, I was getting a bit nervous. I still didn't know what song I would be playing for him. I was still thinking about what song to play when Mr. Sandal called me up to play. When I was getting up, he whispered a good luck to me.

I took my guitar and sat on the bench on stage. Christopher gazed at me with interest, "what's your name?" he asked. "I'm Carly Lacey Leone" I answered. His eyes were suddenly wide. I raised my eyebrows at him. He immediately got over his shock, "go on, what song are you going to sing for me today?" he asked. "To be honest, I haven't really thought about it until now. But I guess I'll be playing a song from my father's band, Madina Lake. The song is called House Of Cards" I said, making up my mind. My dad once praised me for making this song a bit indie with my acoustic guitar. I never picked up an electric guitar before so I always stuck with acoustic.

Christopher was a bit shocked but he nodded for me to begin.

It's late at night the worlds asleep
And I'm trying not to think
I take some pills, cause my mind bleeds
I'm thinking what is wrong with me?
Because the only thing I know
About honesty
Is every lie I told
That you believed

I'm afraid, To be alone
I'm afraid, That one day you'll find out

And you'll be amazed
At the secrets I keep
You'd be amazed
At my mouth full of lies
I'm too afraid to come clean
My life's the flame in a house of cards

Now i can't look you in your eye's
Because the guilt is killing me
I try disconnect my heart again
Just so I can breathe
I wanna be myself again
But i just can't cause

I'm afraid, to be alone
I'm afraid, that one day you'll find out

And you'll be amazed
At the secrets I keep
You'd be amazed
At my mouth full of lies
I'm too afraid to come clean
My life's the flame in a house of cards

It's such a shame what I've become
After years of breaking down
My whole life has come undone
Cause I'm trying to fake it all
And I know that you love someone
But that someone isn't me
Isn't me

And you'll be amazed
At the secrets I keep
You'd be amazed
At my mouth full of lies
I'm too afraid to come clean
My life's the flame in a house of cards

You'll be amazed
You'll be amazed

His eyes were wide by the time I finished. What's up with him? Why was he shocked to see me? Did he know me or what? His lips opened slowly as if he was contemplating on what to say to me. "Your music style has a bit of a blues mixed with indie. I didn't know that teenagers these days would appreciate indie or blues. That was a long time ago when it was very trendy" he air quoted trendy. I nodded. "And I love how you can make your performance last minute and still sound this amazing" he continued praising me. "Thanks" I mumbled. "Your father's Nathan Leone I believe?" he asked. I nodded.

"Your father is a wonderful man" he said. "You know him?" I asked. "Who doesn't?" he smirked. Maybe that's why he's shocked to see me. He didn't know that a child of Nathan Leone's would be in a public high school in Chicago. "Good job" he told me. I thanked him once again before walking off stage. We watched the rest of my classmates perform for Christopher Drew. He was a bit disappointed at Jenna since she was really unprepared. Everyone was starting to follow Mr. Sandal out of the auditorium as did I. "Ms. Leone?" Christopher called out. I turned around, "Yeah?" "May I speak to you for a minute?"
Sign up to rate and review this story