FicWad

James turned around and gave me a puzzled look, squinting through the snow. I smiled invitingly at him and motioned for him to follow me. Without waiting to see what he would do next, I turned on my heel and started back towards the house. There was no sound of footsteps behind me though. Biting my lip, I turned around to see what James was doing. When I flipped my head around, James quickly looked away from me with red cheeks. I couldn't tell if they were red from the cold or from embarrassment. I also couldn't help but wonder if he had been looking at my ass.

Finally, James shrugged and ran towards me. A few seconds later, he caught up to me and we walked back to the house in silence. We brought would've talked, but the wind was blowing so hard that it would've blown all our words away the moment they had left our mouths. Luckily, it only took a few minutes before we had reached my house once again.

I kicked the door open forcefully, and James and I tumbled in. I slammed the door behind us to keep out the cold and yanked my boots off. James did the same and questioned me, "Are you sure this is all right with you? You know, me staying over and stuff? I can probably make it home. It's not that bad out there."

"Um, yeah, it most certainly is bad out there," I retorted, knowing he was lying. After all, the snow had continued to pick up pace and it looked like there was a blizzard going on outside. I continued, "And I'm totally fine with you being here. You're here at my house like all the time. Why would I all of the sudden not want you in my house? It's no different than usual."

James didn't answer me. He just looked down at the floor. Deep inside, both of us knew that it was different than usual. James actually sleeping over at my house was different than just a usual visit after school. To break the tension, James commented, "I'll sleep on the couch I guess. Well, unless you don't want me there."

I rolled my eyes and tugged on his arm as I started up the stairs to my room. James could be so crazy sometimes. I responded to his previous statement, "I don't want you sleeping on the couch. Come upstairs with me. I think my bedroom is warmer than the downstairs area anyways. We definitely need to stay warm tonight."

Once we reached my bedroom, I flung the door open and flicked the lights on. James stepped nervously inside and gazed around as if he was visiting this room for the first time. I didn't get what was up with him. He had been in my bedroom on countless occasions. Why should this time be any different? I also noticed that he was unusually quiet. James wasn't usually a quiet person. Well, not with me anyways. He could be shy, but once you got to know him, the shyness faded away.

Ignoring James' weird attitude, I slipped the robe off and crossed the room to one side of the bed. I plopped down on it and started to pull the sheets over my body. Just as my fingertips grabbed the sheet, I noticed James' eyes bugging out as he looked at me. Feeling self conscious and embarrassed for no good reason, I stared at him and snapped, "What?"

James shook his head and didn't reply. He stood in the corner for a few seconds before turning back to me and asking, "Can you turn the lights out?" Not seeing why not, I agreed and flicked off the light switch. The room immediately darkened, but it wasn't pitch black. I could still see James' outline in the corner of the room. I couldn't help but watch as he yanked off his shirt and tossed it in the corner. My eyes searched up and down his chest as he turned around. After all, I had never seen James' bare chest before and this was a sight I was willing to give up.

James obviously had a really nice chest. It was smooth and delectable looking. He had a cute, flat stomach too. For some reason, I found that I had an urge to go over to him and lick his chest. Maybe I was really going crazy after all. Needing to get these thoughts out of my head, I shut my eyes and tried to start drifting off to sleep.

But after five minutes, I was still wide awake. I was pretty cold and I wasn't sure where James was. Sitting up in bed, I glanced over the side to see that James was lying on the floor with his eyes open. I frowned at him and said, "Hey, what are you doing down there? The floor is really hard. Your back is going to kill tomorrow if you sleep down there. You can sleep in the bed, you know. Besides, it's warmer up here with the blankets and stuff."

James hesitated for a long moment. He eyed the bed longingly, but something inside of him seemed to be holding him back from joining me on the bed. I clucked my tongue impatiently as he eyed the bed and me. Finally, he shook his head, saying, "I don't think that's a good idea. Honestly, I'm fine on the floor here."

"No, you're not," I argued, knowing for a fact that nobody could sleep comfortably on my hard, wooden floor. I mean seriously, who wants to sleep on a floor when you could sleep in a nice, soft, and warm bed? Nobody. Well, nobody but James Hetfield that is. Not willing to give up the argument just yet, I continued, "Why don't you think it's a good idea to sleep on my bed? It's not like I bite or anything. Besides, the bed is clean. I washed the sheets yesterday if that's what you're worried about."

James sighed, "I'm not worried about that. I just don't want to...do anything to you that I shouldn't do. Get it?" Oh, so James was worried about having sex with me or something. Geez, why hadn't I realized that before? I could be pretty daft sometimes. I quickly replied to his statement, "I'm not asking you to actually 'sleep' with me as in sex. I'm just telling you to sleep on the other side of the bed. Seriously, it's no big deal."

"Yeah, it is a big deal," James replied, tugging at a loose strand of blonde hair that had fallen into his eyes. "I could end up hurting you pretty badly if I loose control of myself. That would be the end of you and me." I was started to get annoyed at James' petty arguments by now. I just wanted him in the bed with me.

"James, I trust you," I said, gazing into his apprehensive hazel eyes. "Just get into the bed already, will you?" James held that raging battle within himself for another long moment before finally giving in. He muttered something that I couldn't make out under his breath before sitting down on the bed next to me. I slipped the sheets over both of us and then we both tried to go to sleep. There was only one problem; neither of us seemed to be able to go to sleep. I could tell even without looking at James that he was still wide awake. I tried pulling the blankets up tighter around me, but that still didn't help.

Finally, I flipped over onto my left side so I was facing James in the bed. Softly, I whispered, "Hey James, you asleep?" James immediately rolled, showing me that he obviously had not been asleep. Yawning, he shook his head. I moved a little closer towards him on the bed and whispered, "I'm cold."

James scooted over on the bed so that we laid inches apart. A tingle of nerves was shooting up my body and my heart starting beating a little faster with him being so close to me. Without waiting for my prompting, James wrapped his arms tightly around me and pulled me against him. I let out a sigh of contentment as our skin came in contact. I felt his firm grasp around my waist and I could also feel his thighs pressing against mine.

Not able to help myself, I leaned my face over closer to his and kissed him firmly, but gently. The kiss was enough to show James that I wanted some affection. James immediately started kissing me all over my mouth with an earnestly that I hadn't noticed in him before. I kissed him back just as earnestly, wanting to get as much of him between my lips as I could. On our next kiss, James quickly dipped his tongue into my mouth and started searching around for my tongue. I met his and our tongues sort of caressed each other inside my mouth. Meanwhile, I somehow found myself lying on top of James. I didn't really remember how I had gotten there. As a matter of fact, I didn't even remember moving. But for some reason or another, I was straddling James in my nightie with his tongue stuck down his throat.

I knew I should probably get off of him. After all, I had no intention in having sex with anyone anytime soon. I remembered the pain that seemed to split me in half when Ray slammed his cock between my legs. Shuddering at that memory, I knew that I wouldn't ever have sex with anyone again. I could do everything but that. I mean, it wasn't like I was going to end up missing out on that much. Having sex would just cause me pain and probably rip my insides apart again.

I continued to kiss James with my tongue exploring every area in his mouth. I stroked his tongue with mine and let my hands travel around his neck. It felt so good to be finally doing something like this at last. Even though I had tried to tell myself that I was best off living on my own, I now knew that I had been wrong. I could literally feel the love for me emanating off James' body and engulfing me in a little cloud of bliss.

A small moan escaped James' lips as I moved my hands to his chest, rubbing and stroking him all over. His skin was so soft and felt so good under my lips. I sucked back down on his lip, unable to get enough of him. That's when I realized I was probably doing something wrong. How fair was it of me to be treating James like this if I didn't have any intentions of going any farther with him? God, I had been an idiot to not realize this before. I was just teasing him unmercifully. Okay, I really had to stop now.

At this point, I could feel every curve of James' body below mine as I pressed down on him, engulfing him in my kisses and love. I could feel the bulge between his legs start to harden, and knew that I really did need to stop right this minute before this went any farther. James was probably going to hate me for that, but I just couldn't do more with him.

I literally had to wrench myself off his body and onto the other side of the bed. James, who had been closing his eyes in pleasure, opened his right eye and gave me a questioning look, "Did I do something?" I quickly shook my head, not wanting him to think he was at fault. James propped himself up on his right arm to get a better look at me. He continued to gaze at me with that quizzical expression. Finally, he asked, "What's the problem then?"

I bit my lip and avoided his gaze, "If I do anything else, I'll end up doing something I'm going to regret. I just don't want to go any farther right now. At least not after what happened with Ray." As soon as my second sentence left my lips, I knew it was a lie. There was a part in me that really did want to go all the way with James. But obviously, the pain wouldn't be worth doing that. My body wasn't really listening to my brain right now though. I could feel that my panties were the slightest bit wet. It must've been from having James press between my legs like that a moment ago. Good thing we hadn't stripped down, or else I would've been soaking wet by now. Everything about James was really starting to turn me on, and that wasn't a good thing.

Looking at the disappointment etched on his face, I felt even worse. I had been teasing him earlier. Actually, I had been teasing myself too. It was clear that James' body wanted me just as much as mine wanted his. We just had to restrain ourselves. It was much easier said than done. Even now, I was tempted to climb back on top of him and rip his pants off. But no, I couldn't do that. I needed to have self control. It was something that seemed a lot harder to have all of the sudden.

"Sorry," James apologized. "This was my fault. Maybe I should just leave now or something...?" Oh shit. So now James wanted to leave. I was a really bad girlfriend. I was just a little teaser who took what she wanted before throwing him away. Feeling awful mentally and physically, I shook my head, "Please don't leave. Well...if you'd feel better if you leave, then that's okay." I didn't want to put him in anymore of an awkward position than he was in already.

James slipped out of the bed and tucked a strand of blonde hair behind his ear as he went, "I think I'll go for a bit. Goodnight, Olive." With that, James slipped out the door and shut it quietly behind him. My heart sank as I watched him leave. I didn't want him to leave at all. Now I was all alone and on my own once more. My heart and body ached for James the moment he left the room. I hated being alone these days. I couldn't even figure out how I had survived before. James seemed to have carried my heart right out the door with him.