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• YOU DON’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU ASK FOR

  (#) Dalwyn 2010-06-18

  DrT's response to Vanir's review confirms my feelings about this story ... that it is really just touching on the high points of the plot and is very short on characterization. For example, Hermione gets only brief mention until Dumbles' death, and then her support for his prior activity is declared without any of the dialog and soul-searching she would have gone through to get there.
  Even in this scene dealing with Dumble's death the text just says that Harry showed her some things (plot), but had no real dialog or conflict.
  
  Of course, DrT mentioned to us right from the start that he'd try to avoid cliches, and I suppose all those character-developing scenes have been played so many times now as to be cliched in and of themselves.
  
  That said, I still find I'm missing the development.
  
  The largest weakness of the story, for me, is that there is no challenge here for Harry. To compel attention, a story needs some large conflict and ideally suspense. I remember not being able to put The DaVinci Code down, staying up all night to read "just one more chapter". This story has a little suspense from time to time, but only so far as "I wonder how he'll do it" rather than "OMG I wonder if he'll survive." Ok, sure, this is a HP fanfiction so he has to survive, but the dramatic tension still requires that he might possibly not do so. And that tension is completely missing. Harry is having a cake walk.
  
  I find myself wondering what this story might look like if turned upside down - as this Harry is creating a real challenge for several folks, a story with someone else as protagonist might be really interesting, there could be a lot of drama in seeing how they respond to the challenge Harry presents. That doesn't sound very HP Fanfiction though. ;)
  
  The overall plot is quite a bit of fun. I'm not sure how, but somewhere along the line I started reading it as a comedy, despite the lack of any humour in the scenes. Kinda like Tom Lehrer pointed out that WW II produced a number of hit singles despite not primarily being a musical.
  
  I suppose I am twisted, but Dumbles' death, Umbitch's 'splinch' and Malfoy's first task were just funny.
  
  So I am enjoying the story as a quick and fun read. And look forward to more. Thanks for writing.

  Author's response

  I can totally understand this response. Over the last 7 years (I started posting in the various fiction alley areas in May, 2003), I've pretty well developed the characters in lots of different ways. To me, the problem right now is not to challange poor abused Harry (not that there aren't plenty of interesting ways still to do so), but to manipulate things so that there really isn't one; as the writer, the fun part was doing the anti-Puree part of the story (readers might disagree) and breaking Dumbledore (not as unusual the past two years as it was the first few times I did it in lesser ways). I fully understand that some (even many) might not care for any of that, and thank those who find even a story like this interesting.

• YOU DON’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU ASK FOR

  (#) stargatesg1fan1 2010-06-19

  Another fantastic update. I really like Draco's fate. It couldn't have happened to a nicer poof. This is another great one of your fics and an interesting spin on time travel. Thanks for taking the time to write it.

• YOU DON’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU ASK FOR

  (#) papamidnite 2010-06-19

  Nice Draco offed himself...I've never read one where he did himself

• YOU DON’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU ASK FOR

  (#) brad 2010-06-22

  Heh. Something corny/slapstick about the idea of Draco skulking around trying to kill Harry with his attempts at secrecy being so transparent and laughable.
  
  The idea of Hermione watching Harry's back - her and others, like Luna - that is an image I find quite powerful. I'd love to see you explore that more in depth in another story one day. Bring back a Harry who isn't super-powerful and nigh invulnerable, but a Harry who is either (a) much less powerful or (b) in a vulnerable spot of weakness on the way to learning how to use/acquire his power. And needing his friends to survive. Putting them under some pressure to keep him safe. There'd be quite a bit of drama there, I dare say, and it would be really nice to see Hermione and/or Luna be more than just an attachment to a super-powerful Harry, but someone whom he really needs and appreciates. Oh well, just an idea ... what I've written here exceeds the single sentence you wrote here. :-) I just thought it was a fascinating notion.
  
  - ... using the 'but I was under the Imperius' excuse
  
  I still remember how in Muggle Summer you had Drago smugly tell Hermione that he'd use that excuse. Grrrr.
  
  The final task was a big anticlimax, wasn't it?
  
  So Ron grew up a bit. I wonder if he'll mature from what he learned of himself, or just shrug and stay the same?
  
  Killing Malfoy so quickly after the tournament was more evidence of Harry's ugliness/evil. Draco never had a chance. Why not capture him, turn him over to the authorities, or at least arrange things so he could be killed in clear 'self defence'? Rather than secretly and possibly cowardly? No, this Harry wasn't much of a 'hero', was he? At least he still worked to improve society and eliminate the dark lord and the other malignant influences.

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