FicWad

SIENNA SKY

Dir en grey Fan fiction

By : Judas_Tree

Pairing : Toshiya x Shinya

Rating : PG-13

Genre : Romance with a very light touch of miracle ::twinkle::

Disclaimer :
God knows how much I want to have them all to myself. But we should learn to share, shouldn't we?

Summary :
Totchi made the biggest mistake in his life, and he's given a chance to make it up for good.

Author's Notes :
YEAH !! Another chappie !! Hmm... I'm never in a good mood lately, everything bad is coming over me again and again ... maybe God is putting temptations over me... ::fulloftears:: well, fanfictions is one of those things that made me keep on going...! And so are reviews !!!! So .... Please read and if you are kind enough to this miserable fic writer, please click on this following link and tell me what you think ! You never know
how a single review can affect a writer in a huge deal !! ^_~

Mail : jud4s_tree@yahoo.com

/Chapter One : /
/" Happy Birthday to Me ... "/

< Tokyo , 2010 >

The only source of light illuminating in that dusky living room is the television screen, switching from one channel to another in a monotonous manner. Toshiya finally gave up, throwing the poor remote carelessly onto the sofa beside him. His eyes wandering somewhere far and distant, smoking his lungs out like hell. The scent of tobacco fills the air, making the other one, sitting on the opposite of him covered his nostrils with both of his hands.

The bassists' gaze suddenly falls to the drummer. He eyeing him from the corner of his eyes ; thin amber hair, a very lanky body, and flat expression on his face ... and he asked himself ,

' What exactly had made me fallen in love with him long time ago ... ? '

He snorted then, but the other didn't bulge, just stayed his gaze focused on the TV blankly, and palms on his nose.

Yes, they used to be lovers. Well, they're still now, it's not like they had broke up ... but everything had changed since three months ago. The only thing that is left between them is distance, and nothing else. No more conversations and laugh, no more warmth and all night long embraces ...

only emptiness.

Now, they spent their days drown into their job, The former bassist as a major model and the drummer as a famous song writer. And in evenings like this, when they have nothing to do, they will sit there, pretend to watch TV or do something else like eating together, all went in total silence. Seemed like all the topics in the world vanished without a trace, replaced by nothing in particular.

' This is stupid... I have no more reason to stay here.'
Toshiya said to himself, then stood up and grabbed his jacket

" I'm going out. "
The drummer lifted his head a bit , answered...
" Ah... un. "

And that's all.

No more words came out from their lips, and with that, Toshiya shut the main door behind him closed.

Shinya sighed heavily, that kind of pain started to strike his heart again. Every moment like this, when the man he loved so much talked to him in that kind of tone ... so close, but yet so far away. In the other side, he didn't know what to do but kept silent and continue his life as if nothing wrong between them ; a deep wound that started to rot and decayed, eating them slowly inside.

' What am I to him now ? Still a lover, a friend, an enemy, or ... no one at all? '

- No one at all -

Where are their laughs went away, and since when it all happened? Shinya tried to recall everything that happened in the past, and after one hour forty five minutes nonstop of thinking, he thought he remember the day, when their very first disaster had happened.

*

< Back to 3 months before >

" Shinshin, let's go to have some fun tonight !!! "
Toshiya said , bouncing across the room and flunk himself sloppily on the sofa beside Shinya. He looked so enthusiastic that night, and seemed like nothing can hold back him from going. But ...
" Un ... I'm kinda tired, Totchi. Can't we go tomorrow instead...? "
Shinya whispers softly, try to hold back his yawn. He's been showered with lots of work lately, and it drained out all of energy from his body.
The bassist let out his sulking pout, but then smiled again and continuing his pleading.
" That's why you need some fun! Come on Shinshin ! "
He said, yanking at his arm like a little kid who wants some ice cream.

' Geez... he never grown up, isn't he? '

::yawn:: -- " But Totchi -- "
And the pout getting worse and worse .
" Lately you always working like a dork !! You're so boring Shin-chan!! Everyone never rejected me when I ask them to go out!! Look at Die, Sakake, Yumi, Himiko - "
The bassist kept on blabbering, without noticing the changing on the drummer's expression.

Maybe it was his tiredness, or the names like 'Yumi' and 'Himiko' the bassist just said out loud earlier, the drummer himself didn't know why. But that time, he felt like punching someone, or something to release his rage that burned inside completely at the
moment.
" Fine then !! Just go and have fun with them !! I don't care anymore !!! "

Well... that's it.

The drummer never been like this before, defeated by his own anger. He usually holds them inside and stays composed as ever, but that night ...
" Fine !!! "
The bassist shout angrily back at him, then running through their door, slamming the door shut behind him.

*

' Yes, maybe that night started it all ... '
The drummer said to himself, and continue to recalled what happened after that incident.
Since that night, the bassist waste most of his time to hang out and have some fun with countless nameless people, boys and pretty girls in the club, and the person he met in his carrier. He lives in the world Shinya didn't know and understand anymore, and they talk less... and less.

Shinya himself try to forget it all by drown himself inside his work, pretend like nothing happened. He swears inside that this problem won't make him cry and ruined his life. He'll always be strong, no matter what happened. But now, he regretted the truth that he never does anything before everything got worse. Maybe if only he agreed to go that night, maybe ...

Now, everything he did seemed too late.

' Maybe I'll take a little walk to refresh my mind '
He said, the grabbed his jacket to take an evening walk outside.

*

The drummer walk aimlessly in front of the shopping centre, hidden totally behind his sunglasses, long bangs, and leather jacket. Nothing really catches his attention that time. So many passersby, traffic, shops, game center ... but everything seemed so dull and wry. It is weird, how the time he spend with the bassist, even it is only in a small book shop, lousy greeting card stall or convenient store can be so amusing.

Again, that regretful feeling tugging at his heart.

But in the same moment, a single cake shop caught his attention. It's small but looked nice and warm, with a big Commercial banner hung on its glass window.

It's said :
-- 24th February !! Are you the lucky one?? Get our birthday cake for you today ! 30% OFF !!! --

" 24th February ...? I'm even forgotten about my own birthday ... "
The drummer said out not very loudly, laughed at his own stupidity, and then stepped into the shop.
" Irasshaimase ...! "
the shop keeper greeted him.
" Un... the birthday cake, please? "
The shopkeeper smiled and brings what he ordered: A large size birthday cake.
" Do you have a smaller size, only for two person? "
" Of course! "
She brings out the smaller one , and asked Shinya a question.
" Do you want your name on it ? "
" Oh, no need ... I'll have that one. "

' Maybe he didn't remember my birthday either ... but I think I'll forgive him for that, and celebrating it together. Maybe everything will go back like before ... '
He smiled, and then makes his way back to their apartment.

*

' What took him so long? '
Shinya wondered to himself, waiting patiently inside his gloomy bedroom. The bassist always comes home late, yes. But he never got back after 10 p.m. , and it worry the drummer inside.

So he kept on waiting, sitting himself on the bedroom floor crossed legs, until sleepiness started to take over him. He checks on his watch again. The time now is 11.45 p.m , which means the day will change not so long after.
' Fine then, I guess... '
He said, then take out Toshiya's lighter inside his drawer, light up the candles upon his cake slowly, one by one.
" Happy birthday to me ... "~¯
He started to sing softly to himself, trying so hard to keep the memories of his past's birthdays together with his lover. But it's all too late. Those memories coming to him at the speed of sound, tears started to form in his hazel eyes.

His birthday is something so important in his life, and years ago, the bassist never failed to make it special. The others too, of course. His family, his band mates and his friends , all the beautiful gifts he received ... but what he really waited was the celebration of two, only him and Toshiya. They will spend the time till morning in each other's arms, talking about the past and future ... the drummer always cherished those moments, even though he never speak a word about it.

' Happy Birthday, Shin-chan ...! '
The bassist's vision passing through his mind, greeted him with a big grin plastered on his face, revealing his sweet crooked teeth ; his sincere smile that the drummer never saw again for this past three months that felt like forever.

' No ... I can't cry... not in my birthday ... '

He tried to hold it back once more, when the drummer suddenly heard footsteps outside the main door. He checked on his watch ; 11.50 p.m.
' There's still ten minutes left! We still can make it !! '
He stood up to his feet quickly, open his room's door and ready to step outside, when he heard a familiar shout;

" GEEZ !!! Why are you drunk, Totchi ...! What should I say to Shin-chan to bring you home like this ...!!? "

So he stepped back into his room, left the door a bit open to take a view of what happened outside.

*

" GEEZ !!! Why are you drunk, Totchi ...! What should I say to Shin-chan to bring you home like this ...!!? "
The redhead said to his drunken friend who is now tangling unto his shoulders, only partly conscious.
" What should you saaayy...? Maybe 'hellooo' ...!!? "
Toshiya blabbered shabbily, and then laughed at his own reply.
Die only sighed and kept on dragging him inside.
" You have to diet, Totchi !!! "
" Hmm... nnooo need... I think I'm attractive enough noow, Die-kuuun ! "
His clutch wore off when the bassist's body is being thrown on the sofa. Die took off Toshiya's sneakers and put his feet up on the couch.
" Wait here, and don't make a mess! I'm calling Shin-chan! "
But the bassist's palm grabbed his sleeve, stopping him from proceed walking.
" No... don't leave, Die !! Stay here !! "
He ordered, and the red head obeyed. He sat down beside his friend, and suddenly, a question plopped inside his mind.
" Hey, Totchi... I know you're drunk, but this question killing me inside. If you still have a piece of brain to think now, please answer 'kay? What happened between you and Shin-chan ? "
" ... "
" Hey, you hear me right? "
The bassist only silent and snuggled his head into Die's warm lap.
" Well, I've never seen you go together with him anymore... I think something must be happening. Do you two have a fight? "

" ... I ... I feel lonely Die ... "
Die suddenly could feel his friend's warm palm darting over his belly up to his chest, upon his shirt, yes, but it's more than enough to send a jolt down his spine.
" ... very lonely ..."
The bassist lift his face up and stared to the red-head's eyes with every lust that he hold back since three months ago, and tracing his palms up again, to find the guitarist's neck, and pulled it down for a passionate kiss.

Die is staggered at first, yes, but at the time he felt the bassist's moist and supple tongue entered his mouth, he lost control of himself too and started to kissed back in the same passion the other has. They fought for domination over each other through their lips and tongue, and Die found his hands move their way to Toshiya's hips, sneaked them under the bassist's wet shirt to rub down his soft back in circular motion. And when he pulled back to regain some air and open his eyes, the view in front of him splashed all over his body like a cold water over a raging fire ;
Shinya walk out from his room, turning his face to the other side, making his line to the main door, going to stepped out as soon as possible.

"Unnh .. Die ... "
The red head heard a husky complaint beneath him from the bassist, but he decided to ignored him, of course.
" Shin-chan ...! "
Die called, and the drummer's steps stopped abruptly. For a moment, there is an uncomfortable lingering in the room.
" Shinya -"
Die's going to say something, but his brain seemed to freeze out. The drummer only stood there, back facing him, and then his voice break the silent with a very cold tone of his ;
" He will have a very bad headache tomorrow morning... There's a medicine inside my drawer. "
And without even turn his face, the drummer walk out leaving Die in shock, flabbergasted, and didn't know what to do.

*

A/N : Well? Personally, I love this chappie when making it, because imagining Totchi and Shinya together when they're still happy brings tears into my eyes ... ::sob:: and I felt like a criminal to make Totchi so mean and Shinshin so sad ... but our totchi IS NOT THAT MEAN !! Well, see next chappie to find out ! ^_~ Anyway... please sent comments, everything, good or bad will highly appreciated !!!