Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > The Patron Saint Of Liars And Fakes
“Honey I’m home” I shouted dropping my keys on the table and making my way to the kitchen.
“Hey baby” Joe grinned with milk spilling from his mouth and dribbling down his chin.
“Don’t call me baby and close your fucking mouth that’s nasty”
“Wash your fucking mouth out with soap, your language is awful”
“That’s what I get for living with you for the last three weeks” I muttered opening and closing cupboards looking for food. “Cereal for dinner again Joe?”
“Not for you babycakes. You’ve got a hot date tonight”
“Eh… What?” I snapped turning to face him.
“William called bout an hour ago and asked for you to meet him in Bento’s at 8”
“8?! Holy shit. I only have an hour to get there and that’s across town” I moaned pulling my shirt over my head and slipping outta my skirt right where I stood.
“ALEX WHAT THE FUCK?!” Joe shouted covering his eyes.
“Ah fuck off, its nothing you’ve never seen before and all my clothes are out here” I snapped dragging another shirt over my head and slipping on my black pencil skirt.
“Still Alex… I’m eating” I slapped him in the back of the head as I passed him on my way out.
“Fuck you Joe, I have a savage bod” I laughed as I grabbed my car keys.
“Bye baby” he shouted after me. Motherfucker knew I hated being called baby.
Bento’s
“Ah Miss Alexis what a pleasure it is to see you after all this time” William smiled as I moved towards the table.
“William. Pleasure is all mine” I grinned as I kissed his cheek.
“Ah sit down, sit down. Have a look at the menu. The steak here is mouthwatering”
“I’ll take your word Will” I replied opening the menu.
“I’ll cut right to the chase Lex, we need you back”
“Will, I told you I needed a bit of time out” I said simply putting the menu down.”
“I know Alex but we’re dying here and you’ve been gone for three months. We have a new show opening and we want you to be the main”
“What is it?” I sighed. I knew I’d have to go back to work soon.
“Burlesque show. We got a whole new troupe of girls in and I need you to train them up and feature in they’re first show. You know your name will bring the people in.”
“How much do you need me?” I said simply. William laughed.
“Your never one to beat around the bush Lexi. We’ll pay you $30,000 a week and $175,000 on show night.”
“How long until the show?”
“About ten weeks” I pondered about it for a while. It was less than I was usually paid but I hadn’t been working for a while so…
“Alright I’ll do it. When do I start?” William nearly started clapping and crying when I said I’d do it. He sighed happily as he gestured the waiter over.
“Champagne please! Best you have!” He grinned at him.
“Sir our best champagne is Bollinger Blanc de Noirs Vieilles Vignes Francaises 1997 and is $400 a bottle”
“Yes yes bring it right over” he clapped. The waiter suddenly turned to me.
“Your Alexis Di Milo!” He gasped. I sighed quietly not really wanting to interact with anyone tonight before turning on the charm and gazing up at him.
“I am indeed. Its nice to meet you… Nick” I smiled glancing at his name tag. His face flushed red and he stumbled backwards mumbling that he’d be right back with our Champagne.
“Ahh Alexis must you dazzle the poor waiter like that” William chuckled shaking his head.
“I do have that effect on boys don’t I.” I grinned as what seemed like every waiter in the house passed by our table to have a look and every waitress glared in my direction as we waited on the champagne. Nick the waiter came back ten minutes later with the bottle and two champagne glasses. His hands shook as he placed them on the table and poured the bubbling liquid.
“Thank you very much” I breathed slipping a $20 into his hand. “You’ll take good care of us tonight wont you Nick” I brushed my fingers down the back of his hand. He gulped loudly before nodding at me. “Great, well I’ll have the steak with mushroom sauce and William here will have…” I gestured to William who was gazing at me with his mouth slightly agape. “William?” I said sharply when he didn’t respond.
“Ah… yes” he blinked rapidly for a few seconds and shook his head “I’ll have the same” He nodded handing Nick the two menus.
“Thanks Nick” I smiled patting his arm. Once again he stumbled away and into the kitchen to give our order.
“Ah... sorry about that Alexis, I even got a little caught up with your performance there! Your dangerous you know that” He chuckled picking up his glass. “A toast!” He clinked his glass to mine. “To having the best Burlesque dancer back”
I smiled as I knocked back my glass.
$400?
It tasted like piss water.
“Hey baby” Joe grinned with milk spilling from his mouth and dribbling down his chin.
“Don’t call me baby and close your fucking mouth that’s nasty”
“Wash your fucking mouth out with soap, your language is awful”
“That’s what I get for living with you for the last three weeks” I muttered opening and closing cupboards looking for food. “Cereal for dinner again Joe?”
“Not for you babycakes. You’ve got a hot date tonight”
“Eh… What?” I snapped turning to face him.
“William called bout an hour ago and asked for you to meet him in Bento’s at 8”
“8?! Holy shit. I only have an hour to get there and that’s across town” I moaned pulling my shirt over my head and slipping outta my skirt right where I stood.
“ALEX WHAT THE FUCK?!” Joe shouted covering his eyes.
“Ah fuck off, its nothing you’ve never seen before and all my clothes are out here” I snapped dragging another shirt over my head and slipping on my black pencil skirt.
“Still Alex… I’m eating” I slapped him in the back of the head as I passed him on my way out.
“Fuck you Joe, I have a savage bod” I laughed as I grabbed my car keys.
“Bye baby” he shouted after me. Motherfucker knew I hated being called baby.
Bento’s
“Ah Miss Alexis what a pleasure it is to see you after all this time” William smiled as I moved towards the table.
“William. Pleasure is all mine” I grinned as I kissed his cheek.
“Ah sit down, sit down. Have a look at the menu. The steak here is mouthwatering”
“I’ll take your word Will” I replied opening the menu.
“I’ll cut right to the chase Lex, we need you back”
“Will, I told you I needed a bit of time out” I said simply putting the menu down.”
“I know Alex but we’re dying here and you’ve been gone for three months. We have a new show opening and we want you to be the main”
“What is it?” I sighed. I knew I’d have to go back to work soon.
“Burlesque show. We got a whole new troupe of girls in and I need you to train them up and feature in they’re first show. You know your name will bring the people in.”
“How much do you need me?” I said simply. William laughed.
“Your never one to beat around the bush Lexi. We’ll pay you $30,000 a week and $175,000 on show night.”
“How long until the show?”
“About ten weeks” I pondered about it for a while. It was less than I was usually paid but I hadn’t been working for a while so…
“Alright I’ll do it. When do I start?” William nearly started clapping and crying when I said I’d do it. He sighed happily as he gestured the waiter over.
“Champagne please! Best you have!” He grinned at him.
“Sir our best champagne is Bollinger Blanc de Noirs Vieilles Vignes Francaises 1997 and is $400 a bottle”
“Yes yes bring it right over” he clapped. The waiter suddenly turned to me.
“Your Alexis Di Milo!” He gasped. I sighed quietly not really wanting to interact with anyone tonight before turning on the charm and gazing up at him.
“I am indeed. Its nice to meet you… Nick” I smiled glancing at his name tag. His face flushed red and he stumbled backwards mumbling that he’d be right back with our Champagne.
“Ahh Alexis must you dazzle the poor waiter like that” William chuckled shaking his head.
“I do have that effect on boys don’t I.” I grinned as what seemed like every waiter in the house passed by our table to have a look and every waitress glared in my direction as we waited on the champagne. Nick the waiter came back ten minutes later with the bottle and two champagne glasses. His hands shook as he placed them on the table and poured the bubbling liquid.
“Thank you very much” I breathed slipping a $20 into his hand. “You’ll take good care of us tonight wont you Nick” I brushed my fingers down the back of his hand. He gulped loudly before nodding at me. “Great, well I’ll have the steak with mushroom sauce and William here will have…” I gestured to William who was gazing at me with his mouth slightly agape. “William?” I said sharply when he didn’t respond.
“Ah… yes” he blinked rapidly for a few seconds and shook his head “I’ll have the same” He nodded handing Nick the two menus.
“Thanks Nick” I smiled patting his arm. Once again he stumbled away and into the kitchen to give our order.
“Ah... sorry about that Alexis, I even got a little caught up with your performance there! Your dangerous you know that” He chuckled picking up his glass. “A toast!” He clinked his glass to mine. “To having the best Burlesque dancer back”
I smiled as I knocked back my glass.
$400?
It tasted like piss water.
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