Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > The Patron Saint Of Liars And Fakes
“no, No, NO!!” I shouted snapping off the music and storming off the stage and into Williams’s office.
“Where the FUCK did you get these girls Will?! They have the rhythm of drunk ponies”
“Alexis, when I said we needed you, we REALLY need you. You’re the only person I know who can turn these girls into proper dancers.”
“Will, you’re not paying me enough to deal with them. They’re fucking terrible. I can’t do this!”
“$55,000 a week and $200,000 on show night. I need you Alex”
“Shit… Alright. I’ll do my best.” I turned on my heel and went back to the stage. “Sit down.” I snapped at the girls. “I need you girls to get your act together and start taking this seriously. This is a big fucking break you’re getting by working with me and I would have killed to work with a big name when I was where ye are right now. Ye are at the bottom of the ladder and ye won’t be getting any higher if ye keep stumbling around like how ye are now. We’re gonna go again and ye are going to give me 1000% this time with no fuck-ups or ye will walk off this stage and I will not let you back on ever again. Now UP”
Now I suppose I should explain what is going on. I have been training these girls for the last two weeks for six to seven hours a day, five days a week and some of them were still not taking anything in that I was teaching them. I was on my last nerve with them at this stage. They were five of the best girls that Will had apparently but I’m still waiting to see they’re best.
There was Carolyn this tiny 19 year old that really didn’t know when to shut up with sarcastic remarks. Can’t dance for shit but she had made some improvement in the last few weeks. Still needs a lot of work.
Then there was Jessie, lovely looking girl, red hair. 19 as well. A bit too bossy for my liking, gives the other girls a lot of direction when she needs even more direction herself. Does a good Gilded Birdcage act though so shes a keeper.
Sabrina, barely legal at just 18. Shes a bit quiet and shy and I don’t know if she’ll survive this business but she tries and I admire her for that.
Mandy, oh Mandy. 18 years old. No experience whatsoever but she has a nice face. Can’t do much with her right now. I keep her in the background because she really pisses me off. Overheard her calling me a whore to Jessie. I might drop her… I haven’t decided.
My favourite girl is Harper. Shes my age and pretty much my double. I think she may just be my replacement Alysia. I could almost say I love this girl. She takes direction and absorbs everything. Leader of the troupe and shes done every act I’ve thrown at her to perfection.
“From the top girls, ‘Hubcaps and Tail Lights’, and one, two, three, drop down, up slowly, shimmy, right hand out and run it down your body from your face to your waist and one, two three, Sabrina right hand… Your other right. Click, click, hats on, to the left, kick, right, kick, unclasp corset, slow, SLOWER. Keep in time girls please. Shimmy. Chairs. Stockings off, blah blah blah. Keep going finish strong and… Done. Better girls, this was a lot better. Keep this up and you’ll do great. I’ll see you guys tomorrow” I clapped my hands and went to my office. Yes I had an office. I spent enough time in this venue so Will gave me my own office. I took some time out to just relax and fill in my diary before heading back out to the girls dressing room.
I was just about to push the door open when I heard my name mentioned. Yeah I know it’s childish to listen outside doors but I heard my name so I stopped to have a listen!
“-and when she was like ‘and your getting a big break by working with me’ blah blah blah I was like oh my god what a fucking bitch!! Shes so full of herself. I mean why the hell is she so great?!” Carolyn’s voice said.
“Guys really shes doing us a huge favour. That’s Alexis Di Milo like. I mean shes a huge name” Harper snapped.
“Whatever, all I’m saying is she really doesn’t need to be such a bitch to us all the time and shes like not that much older than us so what gives her the right to talk to us how she does” Carolyn retorted.
“Carolyn, shut your mouth okay? She wouldn’t need to be such a bitch if ye fools would just take the direction she gives us and do the work instead of bitching about her behind her back” The room went silent then.
“Did you hear shes been with like everyone in Fall Out Boy now! I read on Perez that shes like living with Joe Trohman now!! I mean shes a bit of a whore isn’t she!” Strike two Mandy. That’s the second time shes called me a whore. I decided to end they’re little conversation then before I had to cut one of them from the troupe.
“And apparently she was sleeping with Pete Wentz while she was going out with Patrick Stu- Oh hey Alex” Carolyn backtracked, her face flaming red as I glared at her.
“Right girls, now I’m only going to say this once and ye all better listen. I have the right to talk to you how I do because by the age of 19 and a half I was one of the biggest names on the Burlesque scene and I had made my first million already. I can charge over $300,000 for a show and people will pay that to see me perform for a little over an hour and to socialise for two. I’m doing this to help you guys make a name for yourselves in this industry and by having a bitch like me training you you will have automatic recognition by your peers because of a bitch like me.
And one last thing, my personal life is not to be a topic of discussion ever again. Got it?” I glared at each one of them as they nodded back.
“Now make sure you all practice your own special segments. Jessie and Mandy, Gilded Birdcage. Carolyn, Balloon Dance. Sabrina, striptease and tassel show and Harper you’ll be doing the swing set with the fan dance.” I could see the girls glaring at Harper out of the corner of my eye. That set was the main segment. “Now I will see you all at 11am tomorrow.” I shut the door behind me and went back to my office.
“Where the FUCK did you get these girls Will?! They have the rhythm of drunk ponies”
“Alexis, when I said we needed you, we REALLY need you. You’re the only person I know who can turn these girls into proper dancers.”
“Will, you’re not paying me enough to deal with them. They’re fucking terrible. I can’t do this!”
“$55,000 a week and $200,000 on show night. I need you Alex”
“Shit… Alright. I’ll do my best.” I turned on my heel and went back to the stage. “Sit down.” I snapped at the girls. “I need you girls to get your act together and start taking this seriously. This is a big fucking break you’re getting by working with me and I would have killed to work with a big name when I was where ye are right now. Ye are at the bottom of the ladder and ye won’t be getting any higher if ye keep stumbling around like how ye are now. We’re gonna go again and ye are going to give me 1000% this time with no fuck-ups or ye will walk off this stage and I will not let you back on ever again. Now UP”
Now I suppose I should explain what is going on. I have been training these girls for the last two weeks for six to seven hours a day, five days a week and some of them were still not taking anything in that I was teaching them. I was on my last nerve with them at this stage. They were five of the best girls that Will had apparently but I’m still waiting to see they’re best.
There was Carolyn this tiny 19 year old that really didn’t know when to shut up with sarcastic remarks. Can’t dance for shit but she had made some improvement in the last few weeks. Still needs a lot of work.
Then there was Jessie, lovely looking girl, red hair. 19 as well. A bit too bossy for my liking, gives the other girls a lot of direction when she needs even more direction herself. Does a good Gilded Birdcage act though so shes a keeper.
Sabrina, barely legal at just 18. Shes a bit quiet and shy and I don’t know if she’ll survive this business but she tries and I admire her for that.
Mandy, oh Mandy. 18 years old. No experience whatsoever but she has a nice face. Can’t do much with her right now. I keep her in the background because she really pisses me off. Overheard her calling me a whore to Jessie. I might drop her… I haven’t decided.
My favourite girl is Harper. Shes my age and pretty much my double. I think she may just be my replacement Alysia. I could almost say I love this girl. She takes direction and absorbs everything. Leader of the troupe and shes done every act I’ve thrown at her to perfection.
“From the top girls, ‘Hubcaps and Tail Lights’, and one, two, three, drop down, up slowly, shimmy, right hand out and run it down your body from your face to your waist and one, two three, Sabrina right hand… Your other right. Click, click, hats on, to the left, kick, right, kick, unclasp corset, slow, SLOWER. Keep in time girls please. Shimmy. Chairs. Stockings off, blah blah blah. Keep going finish strong and… Done. Better girls, this was a lot better. Keep this up and you’ll do great. I’ll see you guys tomorrow” I clapped my hands and went to my office. Yes I had an office. I spent enough time in this venue so Will gave me my own office. I took some time out to just relax and fill in my diary before heading back out to the girls dressing room.
I was just about to push the door open when I heard my name mentioned. Yeah I know it’s childish to listen outside doors but I heard my name so I stopped to have a listen!
“-and when she was like ‘and your getting a big break by working with me’ blah blah blah I was like oh my god what a fucking bitch!! Shes so full of herself. I mean why the hell is she so great?!” Carolyn’s voice said.
“Guys really shes doing us a huge favour. That’s Alexis Di Milo like. I mean shes a huge name” Harper snapped.
“Whatever, all I’m saying is she really doesn’t need to be such a bitch to us all the time and shes like not that much older than us so what gives her the right to talk to us how she does” Carolyn retorted.
“Carolyn, shut your mouth okay? She wouldn’t need to be such a bitch if ye fools would just take the direction she gives us and do the work instead of bitching about her behind her back” The room went silent then.
“Did you hear shes been with like everyone in Fall Out Boy now! I read on Perez that shes like living with Joe Trohman now!! I mean shes a bit of a whore isn’t she!” Strike two Mandy. That’s the second time shes called me a whore. I decided to end they’re little conversation then before I had to cut one of them from the troupe.
“And apparently she was sleeping with Pete Wentz while she was going out with Patrick Stu- Oh hey Alex” Carolyn backtracked, her face flaming red as I glared at her.
“Right girls, now I’m only going to say this once and ye all better listen. I have the right to talk to you how I do because by the age of 19 and a half I was one of the biggest names on the Burlesque scene and I had made my first million already. I can charge over $300,000 for a show and people will pay that to see me perform for a little over an hour and to socialise for two. I’m doing this to help you guys make a name for yourselves in this industry and by having a bitch like me training you you will have automatic recognition by your peers because of a bitch like me.
And one last thing, my personal life is not to be a topic of discussion ever again. Got it?” I glared at each one of them as they nodded back.
“Now make sure you all practice your own special segments. Jessie and Mandy, Gilded Birdcage. Carolyn, Balloon Dance. Sabrina, striptease and tassel show and Harper you’ll be doing the swing set with the fan dance.” I could see the girls glaring at Harper out of the corner of my eye. That set was the main segment. “Now I will see you all at 11am tomorrow.” I shut the door behind me and went back to my office.
Sign up to rate and review this story