Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > The Cubby
The Letter
0 reviewsIsn’t amazing how sometimes fate steps in and every tiny piece of the Big Picture puzzle suddenly clicks together?
1Ambiance
Note: Before you start reading just know that I wrote this a very long time ago, before the band split, but I have only just rewritten it and am finally content with it. I've had these pieces of paper floating around for years now and I'm so glad it's finally over! The present time line is 2008, if that helps anyone. If you have any questions just add them in the comments and I'll do my best to help. I had written it all into one chapter but I'm posting it as seven shorter chapters so it's easier to read. I'm also posting it on "mibba":http://stories.mibba.com/read/292387/The-Cubby/Mibba with character pics and a decent layout if you have an account and would prefer to read it there. Enjoy! And don't be afraid to let me know how I did =D
I absently turn the letter over in my hands. I should feel upset. On some level I guess I do, but my primary emotion right now is still mind-numbing shock. This is extremely unexpected. I read through it again. Three sentences is all it takes and I can practically feel the forces of the Universe spinning my life around. Isn't amazing how sometimes fate steps in and every tiny piece of the Big Picture puzzle suddenly clicks together? Like a switch is flicked on in your brain and all of a sudden that yellow piece that you were so sure was a duck, is now obviously that missing piece of the umbrella? I sigh, picking up my least favorite magnet and fasten the letter on my fridge, where it can not be ignored. I don't even really have a choice; one can't avoid the fates, and this was too perfect to be anything but fate.
I had been thinking about him constantly for months now. Not that I had ever really stopped thinking about him. I'd watched him grow up, watched him become a man before my eyes, even if it was from thousands of miles away. And he never knew. How many nights had I lain awake obsessing about him? Thought about how my life could have been so different? Imagined that he was beside me instead of whomever was in my bed that night? My life could have been happy. And lately ... Lately I had started craving him. Every single thought I had was about him. Friends had stopped talking to me, my work and studies were starting to slip from constantly getting sidetracked. And to think that one little letter, barely four paragraphs, could change my life entirely, could be answer to all of my dreams. Dreams that never could have been reality, dreams I never considered as realistic goals, just completely unattainable. Just like he always was to me.
But now? I stare at the letter that turned my World upside-down. I have a perfect opportunity to get my life back. The life He stole from me. I lay my head back on the couch and close my eyes, knowing there is no holding back as the painful memories of my past flood my mind. With Him out of the picture, maybe I stand a chance at the happy ending that He stole from me so many years ago ...
The house was exactly the same as every other house in the neighborhood. A light orangey-brown color, a pebbled front drive and a spiky plant out the front. It looked like a dusty desert, the complete opposite of the house we lived in with Mom. The sweet dampness had been replaced with dry heat, the lush lifestyle now only a memory. When she left she took it all with her, and Dad and I were left to fend for ourselves within our means. To a six year old, the most interesting feature was the backyard. It wasn't as big as the old house but at least I was out of Dad's way.
I was pretending to be an explorer when I heard the cry of pain that startled me. It came from over the back fence. Of course I couldn't see over, there was a five foot wall of privacy around all of the houses here, but I thought it sounded like a boy crying. I quickly climb the tree to get a better look.
Two boys are playing in the backyard. The smaller boy is crying and rubbing his knee as the taller one looks on.
"You're ok, it's not even bleeding." the taller one says. "Quick, or I'm going to win!" He pretends to run, holding his Tonka truck to the ground, as the dark haired boy struggles to his feet and speeds passed him.
"I beat you!!!" The chubby boy cheers, his skinned knees long forgotten. The taller boy obviously let his smaller friend win to cheer him up. I shift my feet on the branch to get a better view.
"Who's that?" the smaller one asks his friend. The fair hair child turns to see me in the tree, peering over the fence.
"I don't know, maybe she lives there." He looks away quickly.
"Ask her!" the first boy hisses quietly to the second, then a little louder "Who are you?"
"Sammy."
"Do you live there?" I nod. "Wanna play cars?" I nod again and climb a little higher in the tree until I can sit on the fence. It looks a lot higher now that I am up here, and I have no idea how to get down. I just sit there, unwilling to jump but not wanting to look like a chicken.
"I'll get a chair." The tall boy races to grab one of the patio chairs from beside the house and puts it under my feet. I slide down to safety and soon we were all racing Tonka trucks around the yard.
"Jesus Sammy! How the Hell did you get that filthy?" Daddy scowls at me as I come in through the back door. He is sorting all the videos into the TV unit.
"I was playing with the boys over the fence." He looks up from the box.
"What boys?"
"George and Senser. We were playing cars, and then we raced and I nearly won!"
He leads me to the bathroom and starts drawing a bath. "Senser? That's a funny name. The back fence?" he asks as he helps take off my shirt. I nod. "How did you get there?"
"Climbed the fence." He sighs.
"Next time ask me first ok? I can't let you go wandering the neighborhood with strange boys."
I spend the next few days happily exploring and building forts out of cardboard boxes. When I hear laughter from over the fence again I quickly race up the tree to see George and Senser kicking a ball. I asked Dad if I can go play with them, and he follows me out to meet George's dad. They chat for a while over the fence, but I wasn't paying any attention. I was too busy trying to steal the ball from under George's foot.
As you can probably guess, blocks of italicised text are memories of the past.
My first real submission, I'm actually nervous. Just letting you know it gets more disturbing from here ... just a warning. It's not meant to offend anyone. So ... let me know what you think!
I absently turn the letter over in my hands. I should feel upset. On some level I guess I do, but my primary emotion right now is still mind-numbing shock. This is extremely unexpected. I read through it again. Three sentences is all it takes and I can practically feel the forces of the Universe spinning my life around. Isn't amazing how sometimes fate steps in and every tiny piece of the Big Picture puzzle suddenly clicks together? Like a switch is flicked on in your brain and all of a sudden that yellow piece that you were so sure was a duck, is now obviously that missing piece of the umbrella? I sigh, picking up my least favorite magnet and fasten the letter on my fridge, where it can not be ignored. I don't even really have a choice; one can't avoid the fates, and this was too perfect to be anything but fate.
I had been thinking about him constantly for months now. Not that I had ever really stopped thinking about him. I'd watched him grow up, watched him become a man before my eyes, even if it was from thousands of miles away. And he never knew. How many nights had I lain awake obsessing about him? Thought about how my life could have been so different? Imagined that he was beside me instead of whomever was in my bed that night? My life could have been happy. And lately ... Lately I had started craving him. Every single thought I had was about him. Friends had stopped talking to me, my work and studies were starting to slip from constantly getting sidetracked. And to think that one little letter, barely four paragraphs, could change my life entirely, could be answer to all of my dreams. Dreams that never could have been reality, dreams I never considered as realistic goals, just completely unattainable. Just like he always was to me.
But now? I stare at the letter that turned my World upside-down. I have a perfect opportunity to get my life back. The life He stole from me. I lay my head back on the couch and close my eyes, knowing there is no holding back as the painful memories of my past flood my mind. With Him out of the picture, maybe I stand a chance at the happy ending that He stole from me so many years ago ...
The house was exactly the same as every other house in the neighborhood. A light orangey-brown color, a pebbled front drive and a spiky plant out the front. It looked like a dusty desert, the complete opposite of the house we lived in with Mom. The sweet dampness had been replaced with dry heat, the lush lifestyle now only a memory. When she left she took it all with her, and Dad and I were left to fend for ourselves within our means. To a six year old, the most interesting feature was the backyard. It wasn't as big as the old house but at least I was out of Dad's way.
I was pretending to be an explorer when I heard the cry of pain that startled me. It came from over the back fence. Of course I couldn't see over, there was a five foot wall of privacy around all of the houses here, but I thought it sounded like a boy crying. I quickly climb the tree to get a better look.
Two boys are playing in the backyard. The smaller boy is crying and rubbing his knee as the taller one looks on.
"You're ok, it's not even bleeding." the taller one says. "Quick, or I'm going to win!" He pretends to run, holding his Tonka truck to the ground, as the dark haired boy struggles to his feet and speeds passed him.
"I beat you!!!" The chubby boy cheers, his skinned knees long forgotten. The taller boy obviously let his smaller friend win to cheer him up. I shift my feet on the branch to get a better view.
"Who's that?" the smaller one asks his friend. The fair hair child turns to see me in the tree, peering over the fence.
"I don't know, maybe she lives there." He looks away quickly.
"Ask her!" the first boy hisses quietly to the second, then a little louder "Who are you?"
"Sammy."
"Do you live there?" I nod. "Wanna play cars?" I nod again and climb a little higher in the tree until I can sit on the fence. It looks a lot higher now that I am up here, and I have no idea how to get down. I just sit there, unwilling to jump but not wanting to look like a chicken.
"I'll get a chair." The tall boy races to grab one of the patio chairs from beside the house and puts it under my feet. I slide down to safety and soon we were all racing Tonka trucks around the yard.
"Jesus Sammy! How the Hell did you get that filthy?" Daddy scowls at me as I come in through the back door. He is sorting all the videos into the TV unit.
"I was playing with the boys over the fence." He looks up from the box.
"What boys?"
"George and Senser. We were playing cars, and then we raced and I nearly won!"
He leads me to the bathroom and starts drawing a bath. "Senser? That's a funny name. The back fence?" he asks as he helps take off my shirt. I nod. "How did you get there?"
"Climbed the fence." He sighs.
"Next time ask me first ok? I can't let you go wandering the neighborhood with strange boys."
I spend the next few days happily exploring and building forts out of cardboard boxes. When I hear laughter from over the fence again I quickly race up the tree to see George and Senser kicking a ball. I asked Dad if I can go play with them, and he follows me out to meet George's dad. They chat for a while over the fence, but I wasn't paying any attention. I was too busy trying to steal the ball from under George's foot.
As you can probably guess, blocks of italicised text are memories of the past.
My first real submission, I'm actually nervous. Just letting you know it gets more disturbing from here ... just a warning. It's not meant to offend anyone. So ... let me know what you think!
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