Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > When I Fall Can I Catch Myself
I got bored and started playing with my fingers. Then a question started brewing up in my mind. Why do we have 5 fingers? I mean if we had 2 fingers wouldn’t our hands work fine. I guess, it’s all for attraction.
Gerard jumped into the room with a satisfied look on his face. “I found it. It was with the bunch of other crap that we never touch, just where I left it.” He sat down then continued what he was saying, “Ok. Three days from now we will be in Houston, TX. In 4 days we’ll be in New Mexico. In 5 days we’ll be in Arizona…”
I decided to interrupt him before I forgot what I wanted to ask him. “You said we’ll be in Houston in 3 days, right? When will we be in Dallas or Fort Worth?”
“We’ll be in Dallas in 2 days.”
“Do you think there is any chance that we could be ready in 2 days?”
“Sure. If it sounds like crap who cares? We have the excuse of this being our first time performing the song in public.”
“True, I’m getting so nervous. We have a concert tonight right?” I asked. I was hoping he would say that I had gotten confused and I had an extra day to prepare myself. I was not ready for it. I knew the 6 songs that I would be singing by heart. Some of the songs that I chose to use I’ve been perfecting for 2 or 3 years. Other’s I’ve had ready for as low as a month or a couple weeks. Of course, those had to be amazing. It couldn’t be kind of good.
“Yeah, at 8:00,” Gerard mumbled unenthusiastically.
“I’m really not ready for this.” I looked at the clock that was on the wall, 6:00 it read. 2 more hours before the biggest moment in my life began. 2 hours before I sang in front of thousands of people. 2 hours before my career began. 2 hours really isn’t a long time.
My stomach felt like I had a swarm of butterflies in it. I was so nervous that I started questioning whether or not I was going to be able to do it. I wasn’t getting cold feet. I was going to do this no matter what my nerves were telling me, my heart was saying to go for it. It was saying that performing was my destiny. Somehow I was starting to believe it.
“You’re not starting to get cold feet are you?” Gerard’s face held a huge smile on it.
“Not cold feet, I’m just getting really scared and nervous. I’ve never had to do something like this and I have a funny feeling that I’m going to mess something up and everyone’s going to start booing at me and throwing tomatoes at me.”
“You’re going to be fine. You’ve performed in front of crowd’s fine before now, haven’t you? I mean how else would have Misty Harlow chosen you? And if they start throwing tomatoes at you your body guards will run out and save you. If they don’t I’ll come out and save you. I had that fear when I first started.”
“I’ve performed in audiences of about 200 people that is about it.”
“It’s going to be fine. Now come on, let’s go practice our music.” Gerard walked away and I followed him. We found the guys sitting in front of the TV watching MTV.
“We’ve got to practice. Or at least that’s what our fabulous Rosemary says.” Gerard’s voice was slightly deeper than it usually was.
“Are you saying that we suck?” Frank faked a hurt look.
“I’m saying that I’m nervous because I know that stupid me is going to F something up. So I have to drag you guys into my torture and make you practice so I feel better. K, Ok, Good!”
“You got the stupid part right.” Bob mumbled.
“Hey Mr. Bobbie Hill, you don’t talk about me like that. I’m the only one who can say that.”
“Bobbie Hill??? I’m not a fat kid from King of the Hill. Anyways, you know it’s true so what’s the big deal about me calling you stupid?”
“This is the big deal.” Before he could react I ran and tackled him onto the ground and started punching him in the gut.
“She’s got a good punch doesn’t she, Bobbie?” Mikey was laughing his ass off. I’m guessing it was because of my little nickname. Sooner or Later I’m going to need a nickname for everyone else too, I choose sooner.
“Ok, ok. You’re not stupid. Can you please get off of me now? You don’t want to have to explain to the fans why the world’s best drummer can’t perform because somebody broke his ribs do you?”
“Best Drummer, sure….” I got off of him.
“I’m sad to admit this but you’ve got a good punch. It’s not girly at all. I can only imagine how big of a bully you used to be when you were in school. You know, I hate bullies. When I was a kid I used to get bullied really badly. They always called me the weirdo or the freakazoid. I never even got a chance to redeem myself.”
“I wasn’t a bully. I know how it felt to get bullied. I got tired of it one day and took a swing at the bully. Let’s just say that they never messed with me. Of course, I still didn’t get into the populars. If anything, I got revoked even farther. I guess they thought that a person who, stands up to the biggest bully and ends up sending them to the nurse from a broken nose is a bit weirder than everyone thought. Before I stood up for myself I thought I could never become an even bigger outcast. Who knew that standing up for myself wouldn’t get me anywhere? Well, it kind of did. It gave me confidence something that I never really had. I still kind of lack it but ever since I started performing and getting really good responses it’s brought my confidence up.”
I started remembering the past. A picture of a little girl with missing teeth and jet black hair came into mind. Zooming through time, when the girl started learning she had a voice, a talent. She looked slightly prettier than before; more mature looking, prettier teeth, longer hair, and eyes that everyone said told a sad story of loneliness. Then a picture of a girl who was smiling, happy, with another girl next to her shopping in the nearest Hot Topic, the girl had several deep red streaks in her jet black hair. She was tall compared to her friend. Slightly weirder than her friend, but she finally found somebody who understood her and wanted to be her friend. The girl with jet black hair’s name was Rosemary; although all her closest friends and family called her Rose. She preferred the name Rose. She always thought the name Rosemary was weird. Rose’s friend was named Maria. She was and still is the one person who truly understands Rose.
“I think we were all the outcasts. I know I was.” Gerard said.
“We need to practice. Let’s start with I Don’t Love You. Come on Rosemary.” Germia said.
Everyone started their part. It was going according to plan with only a few mistakes between Gerard and me. We mixed up our lines a couple times. Forgetting some of the words we added, or singing parts we weren’t supposed to (Gerard). In the end we decided that we would perform the song for the first time at the Fort Worth showing (Which Maria would be at. Boy, is she going to be surprised?).
I watched the boys practice all their songs. Of course, as expected there were absolutely no mistakes (Show OffsL). With about an hour left for me to practice I went to practice my songs with my baby. And no before you skip to conclusions I’m not talking about a kid. I’m talking about my Fender Stratocaster. She had been my 16th birthday gift. Her name is Leila.
I was so happy when I had completed all of the songs without any mistakes. By the time we were done with our practicing it was time to get off the bus. We were at our destination. I checked the clock once again, 7:30. 30 minutes before my career begins. 30 minutes before my nerves really set in place. 30 minutes before everything goes down. 30 minutes is still not a lot of time.
When we went inside we were greeted by makeup artists and fashion directors. I had 2 people working on my hair 3 people working on my makeup and 4 people discussing what the best choices for skinny jeans were. I told them that I didn’t care what they did. They could draw a mustache on me and I don’t think I would notice until I went out to the stage and witnessed thousands of people laughing at me. Of course, that made me want to check and make sure I didn’t mysteriously grow a beard while I have been having my makeup done. As I looked in the mirror I found out that my hair and makeup was done. My hair was simply straight ironed and my makeup was thick. My eyes were plastered with dark eyeliner. My lips were cherry red. I could only think of one word, Wow!
I got dressed in the pair of neon green skinny jeans with a dark purple T-Shirt that Lillian, one of the fashion directors, had given me. I got to keep my black converses.
They had me waiting by the back stage. I could hear them starting to introduce me. I looked at the clock, 7:29. 1 minute left, 1 short little minute. The time was ticking away. I was so nervous. I was surprised that I didn’t pass out.
I could feel somebody pushing on my back, leading me to the stage. I looked back and saw that it was Gerard. He had a reassuring look on his face.
“Don’t worry. You’re going to be great. Go get them.” All I could do was nod at him.
As soon as my feet landed on the ground of the stage and heard the screaming my face shot up to look at the crowd. There had to of been at least 50,000 people here. I took a huge gulp. People were staring at me. I let my wild side take over. Maria always calls my wild side my performing side.
“How is everybody?” I started out. Thousands of people started cheering. “That’s good. This is my first time performing in front of such a big crowd, so consider your selves history. I’m Rosemary Blake and I want you to scream like you’ve never screamed before.” I got what sounded like a million screams from the audience. “Well, this is ‘Tell Me No One More Time!’”
“You left me alone
In a house full of no one
Tell me you’re not real.
Tell me you’re unreal.
Because I can’t believe what you’re saying
I’m telling you what I want so don’t say NOOOO
Tell me no one more time and see what I say.
Listen to the beat of my fist and know that this is real….”
Gerard jumped into the room with a satisfied look on his face. “I found it. It was with the bunch of other crap that we never touch, just where I left it.” He sat down then continued what he was saying, “Ok. Three days from now we will be in Houston, TX. In 4 days we’ll be in New Mexico. In 5 days we’ll be in Arizona…”
I decided to interrupt him before I forgot what I wanted to ask him. “You said we’ll be in Houston in 3 days, right? When will we be in Dallas or Fort Worth?”
“We’ll be in Dallas in 2 days.”
“Do you think there is any chance that we could be ready in 2 days?”
“Sure. If it sounds like crap who cares? We have the excuse of this being our first time performing the song in public.”
“True, I’m getting so nervous. We have a concert tonight right?” I asked. I was hoping he would say that I had gotten confused and I had an extra day to prepare myself. I was not ready for it. I knew the 6 songs that I would be singing by heart. Some of the songs that I chose to use I’ve been perfecting for 2 or 3 years. Other’s I’ve had ready for as low as a month or a couple weeks. Of course, those had to be amazing. It couldn’t be kind of good.
“Yeah, at 8:00,” Gerard mumbled unenthusiastically.
“I’m really not ready for this.” I looked at the clock that was on the wall, 6:00 it read. 2 more hours before the biggest moment in my life began. 2 hours before I sang in front of thousands of people. 2 hours before my career began. 2 hours really isn’t a long time.
My stomach felt like I had a swarm of butterflies in it. I was so nervous that I started questioning whether or not I was going to be able to do it. I wasn’t getting cold feet. I was going to do this no matter what my nerves were telling me, my heart was saying to go for it. It was saying that performing was my destiny. Somehow I was starting to believe it.
“You’re not starting to get cold feet are you?” Gerard’s face held a huge smile on it.
“Not cold feet, I’m just getting really scared and nervous. I’ve never had to do something like this and I have a funny feeling that I’m going to mess something up and everyone’s going to start booing at me and throwing tomatoes at me.”
“You’re going to be fine. You’ve performed in front of crowd’s fine before now, haven’t you? I mean how else would have Misty Harlow chosen you? And if they start throwing tomatoes at you your body guards will run out and save you. If they don’t I’ll come out and save you. I had that fear when I first started.”
“I’ve performed in audiences of about 200 people that is about it.”
“It’s going to be fine. Now come on, let’s go practice our music.” Gerard walked away and I followed him. We found the guys sitting in front of the TV watching MTV.
“We’ve got to practice. Or at least that’s what our fabulous Rosemary says.” Gerard’s voice was slightly deeper than it usually was.
“Are you saying that we suck?” Frank faked a hurt look.
“I’m saying that I’m nervous because I know that stupid me is going to F something up. So I have to drag you guys into my torture and make you practice so I feel better. K, Ok, Good!”
“You got the stupid part right.” Bob mumbled.
“Hey Mr. Bobbie Hill, you don’t talk about me like that. I’m the only one who can say that.”
“Bobbie Hill??? I’m not a fat kid from King of the Hill. Anyways, you know it’s true so what’s the big deal about me calling you stupid?”
“This is the big deal.” Before he could react I ran and tackled him onto the ground and started punching him in the gut.
“She’s got a good punch doesn’t she, Bobbie?” Mikey was laughing his ass off. I’m guessing it was because of my little nickname. Sooner or Later I’m going to need a nickname for everyone else too, I choose sooner.
“Ok, ok. You’re not stupid. Can you please get off of me now? You don’t want to have to explain to the fans why the world’s best drummer can’t perform because somebody broke his ribs do you?”
“Best Drummer, sure….” I got off of him.
“I’m sad to admit this but you’ve got a good punch. It’s not girly at all. I can only imagine how big of a bully you used to be when you were in school. You know, I hate bullies. When I was a kid I used to get bullied really badly. They always called me the weirdo or the freakazoid. I never even got a chance to redeem myself.”
“I wasn’t a bully. I know how it felt to get bullied. I got tired of it one day and took a swing at the bully. Let’s just say that they never messed with me. Of course, I still didn’t get into the populars. If anything, I got revoked even farther. I guess they thought that a person who, stands up to the biggest bully and ends up sending them to the nurse from a broken nose is a bit weirder than everyone thought. Before I stood up for myself I thought I could never become an even bigger outcast. Who knew that standing up for myself wouldn’t get me anywhere? Well, it kind of did. It gave me confidence something that I never really had. I still kind of lack it but ever since I started performing and getting really good responses it’s brought my confidence up.”
I started remembering the past. A picture of a little girl with missing teeth and jet black hair came into mind. Zooming through time, when the girl started learning she had a voice, a talent. She looked slightly prettier than before; more mature looking, prettier teeth, longer hair, and eyes that everyone said told a sad story of loneliness. Then a picture of a girl who was smiling, happy, with another girl next to her shopping in the nearest Hot Topic, the girl had several deep red streaks in her jet black hair. She was tall compared to her friend. Slightly weirder than her friend, but she finally found somebody who understood her and wanted to be her friend. The girl with jet black hair’s name was Rosemary; although all her closest friends and family called her Rose. She preferred the name Rose. She always thought the name Rosemary was weird. Rose’s friend was named Maria. She was and still is the one person who truly understands Rose.
“I think we were all the outcasts. I know I was.” Gerard said.
“We need to practice. Let’s start with I Don’t Love You. Come on Rosemary.” Germia said.
Everyone started their part. It was going according to plan with only a few mistakes between Gerard and me. We mixed up our lines a couple times. Forgetting some of the words we added, or singing parts we weren’t supposed to (Gerard). In the end we decided that we would perform the song for the first time at the Fort Worth showing (Which Maria would be at. Boy, is she going to be surprised?).
I watched the boys practice all their songs. Of course, as expected there were absolutely no mistakes (Show OffsL). With about an hour left for me to practice I went to practice my songs with my baby. And no before you skip to conclusions I’m not talking about a kid. I’m talking about my Fender Stratocaster. She had been my 16th birthday gift. Her name is Leila.
I was so happy when I had completed all of the songs without any mistakes. By the time we were done with our practicing it was time to get off the bus. We were at our destination. I checked the clock once again, 7:30. 30 minutes before my career begins. 30 minutes before my nerves really set in place. 30 minutes before everything goes down. 30 minutes is still not a lot of time.
When we went inside we were greeted by makeup artists and fashion directors. I had 2 people working on my hair 3 people working on my makeup and 4 people discussing what the best choices for skinny jeans were. I told them that I didn’t care what they did. They could draw a mustache on me and I don’t think I would notice until I went out to the stage and witnessed thousands of people laughing at me. Of course, that made me want to check and make sure I didn’t mysteriously grow a beard while I have been having my makeup done. As I looked in the mirror I found out that my hair and makeup was done. My hair was simply straight ironed and my makeup was thick. My eyes were plastered with dark eyeliner. My lips were cherry red. I could only think of one word, Wow!
I got dressed in the pair of neon green skinny jeans with a dark purple T-Shirt that Lillian, one of the fashion directors, had given me. I got to keep my black converses.
They had me waiting by the back stage. I could hear them starting to introduce me. I looked at the clock, 7:29. 1 minute left, 1 short little minute. The time was ticking away. I was so nervous. I was surprised that I didn’t pass out.
I could feel somebody pushing on my back, leading me to the stage. I looked back and saw that it was Gerard. He had a reassuring look on his face.
“Don’t worry. You’re going to be great. Go get them.” All I could do was nod at him.
As soon as my feet landed on the ground of the stage and heard the screaming my face shot up to look at the crowd. There had to of been at least 50,000 people here. I took a huge gulp. People were staring at me. I let my wild side take over. Maria always calls my wild side my performing side.
“How is everybody?” I started out. Thousands of people started cheering. “That’s good. This is my first time performing in front of such a big crowd, so consider your selves history. I’m Rosemary Blake and I want you to scream like you’ve never screamed before.” I got what sounded like a million screams from the audience. “Well, this is ‘Tell Me No One More Time!’”
“You left me alone
In a house full of no one
Tell me you’re not real.
Tell me you’re unreal.
Because I can’t believe what you’re saying
I’m telling you what I want so don’t say NOOOO
Tell me no one more time and see what I say.
Listen to the beat of my fist and know that this is real….”
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