FicWad

I stand in line at the canteen and my hands are sweaty. I’ve spent the entire day in my room, talking to myself in my head. My eyes shoot around the room constantly, checking to make sure Frank is no where near me. When I don’t see him, I relax a little, but I soon tense up again knowing that he has to walk in at some point. I try to shake this thought from my head as I grab a pathetic excuse for a meal. Not that it matters, anyway.

I grab my plate and sit in the corner of the room. I try not to look around, but I just can’t help it, at this stage. I can’t concentrate on anything. Stupid fucking Frank. I have now decided that I hate him.

I stare down at my food which is just half a plate of chips. All I ever eat is these goddamn chips. I pick one up with a shaking hand and force myself to eat it. I’m halfway through chewing when I feel a cool brush of wind behind me. I frown a little and swing my head around, but no one is behind me. More of my mind playing tricks on me I suppose. I turn back around and see Frank sitting right across from me. A freeze of shock comes over me as my eyes grow wide and I almost end up choking on my food. After I cough a little, I whisper at him, “J-Just leave me alone, ok-kay?”

Frank tilts his head like a confused puppy, “Did I do something wrong, Mikes?”

“Don’t call me that!” I hiss. Only Gee can call me that. “Go away.”

“What’s wrong?” Frank says, sounding incredibly innocent, but his face screams I scared you…

I frown at him as intensely as I can, “T-The balcony. What happened?” I decide to ask him this because by now I’ve convinced myself that the whole thing was a dream and something bad must‘ve happened to me while I was unconscious.

He has a mischievous look in his eyes as he says, “You don’t remember? Well, pretty sure we went out there, we talked and I showed you my epic vampire fangs.”

My stomach drops and I can feel the blood drain from my face. “No…”

“No, what, Mikey?” Frank smiled at me. “Trying to convince yourself it wasn’t real? Not a good idea. Trust me.” He sounds serious.

I dry swallow, well, air. It feels like the wind is being knocked out of me again, “N-No…It wasn’t real. I’m just insane, okay? That’s the reason we’re here. We’re insane. It wasn’t real and it doesn’t exist and I imagined it and I may just need a little more help then I thought and-”

“Mikey.” Frank stops my rambling. “Calm down.”

I stare at him, dumbfounded. “Excuse me? Calm down? How the fuck am I meant-”

“Mikey.” Frank interrupts again, “You’re not insane, okay? It was real. It happened. Don‘t get so worked up over it, okay? I don‘t want you to.”

I wince at him and hiss, “Stop lying! Stop fucking with my head, okay? I don’t need this.”

“I’m not fucking with your head…At least, not anymore”

I look up just in time to see him smirking at me. My breath hitches. What the fuck is he on about now? “What’re you talking about? Not anymore?”

Frank giggles at me before he leans forward across the table and whispers, “Did you enjoy your dream last night, Mikey?”

I gasp and stare at him in shock. How the fuck does he know about all this shit?! I don’t even say anything, this time. I just stare and rack my brains for an answer that makes sense. Maybe he was outside my room and I said something? Ah, fuck!

“Wondering how I know?” Frank asks me.

“You shut the fuck up and mind your own goddamn business.” I snap at him. “I…I don’t even know what you’re talking about.” I decided to pull the ‘Play It Cool’ card and see if it works.

It doesn’t.

“Yes, you do, Mikey.” he smirks at me. “I should know…I’m the one who designed it and put it there.”

I stare at him again and force a nervous laugh, “Ha! You designed?…Oh, that’s funny. Seriously. Seriously. S-Stop hanging around my room when I sleep, and then try and tell me you designed my dreams, okay? Just leave m-me alone.”

He smirks even more, “Why? I mean, you obviously really enjoyed it.”

I feel my face burn red and I try to pass it off as anger, “No, I fucking didn’t. You didn’t design it. You’re not a vampire and this isn’t fucking real. I’m- I’m just insane. I had pills. It was the pills.”

Frank shakes his head with a heavy sigh and looks at me with sad eyes, suddenly, instead of his signature smirk, “Even after all this, you still don’t believe me.”

I just blink at him, “Of course I don’t. This shit didn’t happen. Like I said, insane.”

He just shakes his head at me again and says. “You need to believe it or it’ll eat away at you. Don’t be like the others.” before walking back to his table with his “friends”.

I spend a good half an hour just staring at my plate of food, catching the nurses looking at me and throwing a few glances at Frank, who looks upset. I try to tell myself that it has nothing to do with me, but it’s clearly obvious it does. I’m not entirely sure how I feel about him. I mean, I hated him, then I liked him, then I was scared of him and now…I don’t know. What I saw…it- it can’t have been real. I can’t tell him I believe him when I don’t. At least, I don’t think I do. Anyway, if I tell him lies then that will only lead to worse things. Of course, I’m not one to talk. I did lie to my best friend in the whole world…I don’t fucking know, anymore. I need Gerard.

When everyone starts moving out, I stand up on shaky legs and make my way out. I see Katherine walking towards me, but I make sure I’m out of the room before she can. When I’m out, I make my way to my room, but I suddenly remember that my razor mysteriously disappeared in my fit of insanity, so I head straight to the bathrooms.

Once I know that no one else is in there, I go into a cubicle.

Shutting the door and kneeling down over the bowl, I see my reflection in the water. It makes me want to cry. I see worse than I saw before. Now, not only do I see a hideous excuse for a person, but I also see a liar and a mental case. My eyes well up with tears as I take my glasses off and place them on the floor beside me so my vision is blurred.

Wincing, I shove my fingers to the back of my throat, and with the amount of times I’ve done this now, I’m an expert. My hearing goes fuzzy as I squint my eyes and puke up everything I have in me, hoping that the guilt and insanity will be puked out too. While I keep coughing it up, I feel a cold breeze and it suddenly feels as though it’s right behind me. I would jump and scream when I feel two cool hands on my forehead, keeping my hair from my eyes, if it weren’t for the fact that I had other things to worry about at this point in time. As I continued to be sick, I felt those hands stroking my hair back and it was soothing, especially now. Like the last time, I hear a whisper in my hear and it says, “Stop it. Please.”

Why must that voice sound like my brother's?

A moment after the voice speaks, I finally collapse onto the edge of the toilet seat and the hands disappear from my face. Breathing heavily, I open my eyes to find out who was behind me and who spoke to me, but even through my blurred vision, I can see no one’s there.

I’m still for a moment before it feels as though everything crashes down on me. No one’s there. No one was behind me, and no one listened to me, no one’s visiting me, and no one‘s letting me go. No one is fucking there. No one. This realization dawns on me and I start crying so hard, it’s silent. I cry so hard, my chest aches. God knows how much time I spend on that bathroom floor, just crying.

When I finally pick myself up and get back to my room, it’s only ten minutes until the nurses need to start putting people to bed. I hope Katherine wasn’t hunting me down that whole time.

I whimper a little and climb onto my bed. As I lay on top of it and curl into a little ball, I pull out Gerard’s letter. Tears fall from my eyes as I read it over and over again. At the moment, this is my only reminder that he still cares about me even though he hasn’t come back for two weeks. I miss him like fucking crazy.

“Hi.”

“Shit!” I cry, sitting up to see who just scared the fuck out of me, and when I do, I groan, “Oh, fuck.”

“Good to see you too.” Frank rolls his eyes at me.

“What are you doing here?” I hiss at him, cutting the bullshit.

He takes moment before looking at him with a concerned face, “Why do you keep doing that stuff to yourself?”

“Fuck off.” I say and turn away from him, so I lay on the bed facing the wall.

This doesn’t stop him, though. I hear him walk forward and I feel his hand on my shoulder and flinch under his touch.

Wait, those hands…

“Just stop doing it, Mikey. Please.”

That voice…?

I suddenly sit up and turn around to face him. “Y…You!” I exclaim, “I-It was you! I-In the bathroom all those times!”

Frank just gives a guilty facial expression and looks at his hands before nodding slowly. “Yeah, Mikey. It was me.”

My jaw drops and I frown at him. I feel so violated! So- So…Ugh! “B-But that i-impossible! H-How did you even…Fuck!”

“Mikey, just listen, okay? I was just trying to help or even get you to stop.” Frank tells me, “You shouldn’t be doing this to yourself. I hate seeing it.”

“What…the fuck?!” I gasp, “Don’t pull that bullshit on me! You don’t even know me. Don’t tell me you, like, fucking…care or something!”

“But I do care, Mikey. You said you know how it feels when people don’t listen to you. So, just…hear me out?”

“You care? Why the fuck? First of all, you don’t know me. You can’t care about me. Secondly, I’m not worth caring about, so shove it, Frank!”

I give him the best glare I can manage, and he just looks at me with pleading eyes, “Mikey, listen to me. I’ve seen the things you do to yourself and no one should even think about doing that. Can’t you see how gorgeous you are? Plus, you know, you’re a good guy. A sweet guy. We can help each other out. I’ll listen to you if you listen to me.”

I shake my head over and over, “No, no, no, no, no. This isn’t real. This isn’t happening. I know it sucks when people don’t listen, but holy fuck, I can’t just believe you’re a vampire. Vampires aren’t real. Not real at all and I’m sane enough to know that. You aren’t going to convince me because it…that stuff just doesn’t happen. I must’ve collapsed or something and while I was unconscious, I dreamt it. Or, I’m still dreaming now. Or you’re lying to me. You just said you fucking care and now you’re lying? You don’t make sense. Why would you lie to me, Fra-”

My eyes almost pop out of my skull when Frank cuts me off from my rambling by roughly crushing his lips against mine. My mind is screaming at me and telling me to push him off me, but I’m in so much shock, I can’t move. His eyes are squeezed shut and neither of us make any attempt to move our lips. After a moment, he pulls away from me and I stay stuck there staring at him.

“Shut up, Mikey.” he smirks at me, “Sorry about that, but you have a rambling problem.”

My mouth gapes open, “I…I…Why the-!”

“Okay, everyone! Lights out, time for bed!” I hear the voices of nurses call out through the hallways.

Frank smiles at me, “I guess I have to go, then.”, he turns and walks half way out my door before turning around, “Sweet dreams. I promise I won’t control them this time.” and with a wink, he walks out.

That is IT. What the fuck is his problem?

‘Oh, hi, Mikey! I’m Frank! I know about your problems and I totally care. Oh, by the way, I’m a vampire. Now, I’m gonna pretend I designed the dream you got hard over, pretend I care about you and randomly kiss you while you’re freaking out! Hooray!’

I am so angry at him. It’s like he’s determined to drive me over the edge. I can never be sure about what he’s like. Or what he’ll do. For example, kissing me.

What. The. Hell?!

Although, it wasn’t that bad…But, no! I did not enjoy kissing him.

I didn’t. I didn’t. I didn’t. I didn’t…I yawn.

I’m fucking tired…

“You’re so pretty.” I whisper into the crook of his neck while we snuggle close together innocently on my bed.

He sighs happily and whispers back to me, “Not as gorgeous as you, babe.”

I smile and lean up towards him to press and soft kiss on his lips. He giggles a little and brushes his nose against mine. I kiss him again before laying back down to hold him close. This is the life. He gently brushes his hand in circles on my back and we lay together, close to sleeping.

“Mikey?” he asks.

“Mm?”

“What do you think would’ve happened if we never met?”

I prop myself up on my arms to give him a confused look, “What makes you ask that?”

He shrugs, “I don’t know. I just- I can’t imagine what life would be like if I didn’t have you.”

I smile and place my head on his chest, “I’ll have you know that without you, I’d be nothing. If we never met I’d still be…there.” Saying the last word makes me shudder and he holds me slightly tighter.

I hear him sigh a happy sigh, “I love you, Mikey.”

Drifting off the sleep, I smile back, “I love you too, Frank.”

Groggily, my eyes flutter open.

He controlled my fucking dreams again…

Goddamn it!

---

Rate&&Review?!
They really do make me smile.
xo, Dr-Giggles.