FicWad

“Gee! Thank god!” I cry and almost tackle him with a hug.

“Mikey! I’m so sorry I haven’t been visiting!”

I allow my self to let go of him, “It’s okay. I‘m just freaking glad you‘re here! But, why haven’t you?”

He looks a little hesitant as he answers, “Sit down, Mikes.”

Confused, I do what he tells me. It’s just him visiting me today and I’m happy about that. I don’t really want to see my parents all that much. I can live without seeing them. Living without seeing my big brother, however, is an entirely different story. I haven’t seen him in two weeks and there’s a bruise on his jaw that wasn’t there before, which worries me, but I decide to ask him about that later. We sit down next to each other at the table in the visiting and I give him a look that tells him to spill.

“Mikes, Dad’s been…well, weird, lately.” he tells me.

“Weird how?”

“Well, I was going to come back the day after we all came to see you, but he started getting angry and shit like that. It was so fucking stupid. So, he basically wouldn’t let me see you because he said you…” He stops himself before finishing the sentence.

I push him on, “What did he say, Gerard?”

He looks at me before staring at his hands, “He keeps saying that, and these are his untrue words, that…you’re a fuck up and that you’re insane and he doesn’t really want anything to do with you anymore.”

“He what?”

“Mikes, it’s all lies. You know that.”

I stare at my brother while my heart feels as though someone has ripped it out and stabbed it with a knife. I had a feeling my dad didn’t care, but…how could he say something like that? Note: This mental clinic is definitely not the best place to find out stuff like this. I think Gerard notices this because when I feel the tears begging to fall from my eyes, he wraps his arms around me so no one sees me cry except for his shirt.

“Mikey, he doesn’t know what he’s saying anymore. He’s changed completely and I don’t even freaking care about him anymore. I wanted to kill him so badly when he said that shit. It’s not true. You know it’s not true. I know how much this must fucking suck, but please, don’t believe a word he says. Oh, god, please stop crying.”

I take a deep breath and try to contain my sobs, “I-I’m fine.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

My heart twists in my chest. He still doesn’t know that I lied to him those two weeks ago, “I’m s-sorry, Gee! I’m so sorry.”

“Woah, hey. Sorry for what? You haven’t done anything.”

I cringe and decide not to push the matter further. I take another deep breath and lean back from Gerard to take off my glasses, rub my eyes and stop crying.

Gerard looks at me and doesn’t need to say it, but he does, “You’re not fine.”

I shake my head, “No, I’m not. Please, Gee, can’t you persuade mom to get me out of here?”

“Mikes, mom’s acting as if nothing’s wrong. I mean, every time I mention getting you out of here, she changes the subject. I’m not the person to take you out of here because I‘m not your parent person, but they are. I want to get you out of here so badly too. I regret letting dad do this. I’m so sorry I didn’t listen to you. It makes me want to scream so loud whenever I think about how I can’t just bust you out of here and take care of you myself.” I hear the sob threatening to arise from his chest, but he’s good at not crying.

“I wish you could too, Gee.”

We both fall silent, knowing that, at this moment, there’s nothing we can really do except be there for each other. I think about how much happier I’d be if I were out of here and living with Gerard. It’d be so nice. I could leave everyone in this damned place behind. Even Frank! My heart twinges a little. Um, okay. That’s weird. I don’t really get why it did that when I thought about leaving Frank behind. Ah! It twinges again! Oh, shit. This better not be me starting to care about that little psycho. I guess we do understand each other on the level of people not listening, but Gerard just said sorry to me for not listening and it felt great. Frank…well, no one should have to feel shitty like he does when the feeling of someone listening is so unbelievably awesome.

“Gerard,” I break the silence, “If someone told you something, something that you seriously can not believe, but they are doing everything in their power to make you see it’s true, what do you do? Do you keep telling yourself it isn‘t true or do you believe them?”

Gerard looks at me with a puzzled expression, “Um. Where’s this coming from?”

I shrug it off, “Doesn’t matter, but what would you do? Someone‘s just shown you something that‘s literally making you question reality and you don‘t want to believe it, but you can‘t shake the feeling it’s totally real, what do you do?”

“Mikey, what’s going on?”

“Just tell me what to do!” I snap.

He gives me another questioning look before thinking, “Well, it depends on how much evidence there is. I mean, if they’ve shown you something that basically proves they’re right, then, yeah, believe them, but if not, wait for something substantial to pop up. Mikey, why are you asking this? Has something happened?”

I shake my head, “No. Nothing. Just thinking…”

Gerard does not look convinced.

I give him a reassuring smile and he gives me a sad one. Guilt crashes over me again. The last thing I want to do is lie to him. Again. Soon enough, the inevitable occurs and Gerard has to leave.

“Wait a sec.” I tell him as he turns to walk out the door.

“Yeah, Mikes?”

“How’d you get that bruise on your face?”

“Oh, this?” he says, pointing to it, “I wasn’t watching where I was walking and kinda walked straight into a pole.”

I nod, before giggling a little. “Nice one, Gee.”

“Meh.” he smiles, “I gotta go. I’ll see you soon, okay. Love you.”

“Love you.” I call after him.

The door closes, and he’s gone again.

*

Walking back to my room, I think carefully and decide to make a visit.

Dreading the conversation I’m about to have, I knock on his door. A few footsteps later and Frank opens his room door.

Smiling, he says, “Well, hello there, Mikey.”

I manage a weak smile, “Hi. Uh, can I talk to you?”

“Sure.”

He lets me in and I sit on the end of his bed while he sits just in front of his pillow. There’s a weird look in his eyes. So, I stare at my hands as I attempt to speak.

“I…I’ve been thinking, a-and…”

“And?” he prods.

“And…I think, we could help each other out. I-I’ll listen to you. I’ve been trying to convince myself that what happened…well, didn’t, but I can’t keep treating it like that.”

Frank sits forward eagerly with hopeful eyes and a smile that’s impossible not to return, “You mean you believe me?!”

I take a deep breath, realizing this is the first time I’m admitting it out loud, and slowly nod my head. “Yes, Frank. I believe you.”

“Really? Like, really, really?”

“Yes, really. Geeze.”

He looks at me for a moment before letting out a squeal and giggle of delight. I can’t help but smile at it. Seriously, he looks like a little kid. Without warning, he throws his arms around my neck and hugs me so tight I almost can’t breathe which he soon notices. When Frank releases me, he looks at me with genuine eyes, “Thank you, Mikey.”

I give a small nod, “Don’t mention it.”

“I will! Jesus, you really believe me! You have no idea how long I’ve wanted someone to do that!…And I’m so glad it was you.”

I blush furiously. I hate it when people say stuff like that. “I-It’s…Thanks?”

Frank smiles at me warmly, “No. Thank you. Like, you have no idea.”

I just nod.

He frowns slightly, “You really believe me, right? This isn’t just some stupid joke, right?”

I think for a moment before asking, “Just answer me one question.”

“Yeah?”

“How?”

“How what?”

“How did…it happen?”

Frank’s expression turns blank and then it looks as though he got hit in the face with the misery stick. I start to regret telling him I believe him. If he doesn’t have a decent explanation or tries to shrug it off, I swear to god…I’ll feel like the world’s biggest idiot.

“Well,” he begins, bringing me out of my thoughts, “…depends. Are you sure you’re still gonna believe me after I tell you?”

I think for a moment and nod my head. I just really want, nay, need to know. “I mean, if you don’t want to tell me…”

“No, no…I…I guess I haven’t talked about it in a while. It’s not that happy of a story, and if I tell you, can I trust you not to tell anyone else or anything like that?” he asks, and I know he‘s genuinely talking to me, now. His eyes just say it.

“I’m listening, and you can trust me. I promise.” I say, putting my hand on top of his for a moment before pulling away to hear his explanation.

He purses his lips for a second and says, “A-A while ago, probably around 6 months now, my parents, they sent me here. It sucks, really. Everything was perfect and my family was a real family and we were all happy, but then, of course, disaster has to strike at some point and I got brought here. It was because, well, a while before that, my brother got murdered.”

“Oh, shit. I’m sorry.” I gush out.

Frank shrugs, “S’fine. It’s just that after that happened…well, things at my house pretty much turned to shit. I mean, it was just my brother, me and our parents, but when he was killed, everything just fell apart. My mom kinda just shutdown. She was miserable and started drinking her problems away. My dad was just silent all the time. Never said a word unless it was completely needed. The two of them were so caught up in their own grief and I- I was fucking angry. I mean, sure, I went through being miserable and then I was angry purely because he was gone and then I started moving on, but my parents didn’t, and that made me angry again. They’d forgotten about me completely. I was also harboring an undying rage towards the people who killed my brother. Though, they aren’t really people…So, I was stupid and decided to go out looking for them to get all my revenge and shit like that. I really shouldn‘t have, but I did. So, I just go walking around town one day. I didn‘t really know what I was looking for that would help me find those bastards, but I kept walking all the same. Eventually, I got tired and went to relax in my own little space in the trees near my house, and that’s when I found them. Or, they found me…”

I see him visibly shudder and I wait eagerly for him to continue. This is a lot more interesting than I thought it was going to be, but I’m not going pressure him. He looks like he’s having a hard enough time telling me his story. So, I wait for him to talk again.

He does, after he takes a moment to think of what to explain next, “They were fucking freaky looking. There were three of them. Two chicks and one guy. The dude acted as if he was their leader or some shit, which, come to think of it, he probably was. Anyway, I’m sitting there and they come toward me. I asked them what they wanted and they told me that it was them who killed Jason. That’s my brother’s name, by the way. Jason. Anyway, they told me that and I got so unbelievably mad because at first, I believed them, but then I thought they might be pulling some sick joke. So, I got fucking angry. More angry than anything I’d ever felt in my life. So, I yell at the top of lungs and go to attack them, but then they flashed their fangs at me and I reacted, pretty much, the same way you did.”

I can’t help but let my jaw drop. I’m really starting to believe him now.

“They flashed their fangs and, before I could fully register what they were or what was going on, the guy bit me, right here.” Frank pulls up his sleeve and shows me a faint mark on his wrist. At first, it looks like he’s just cut himself, but on closer inspection, I notice the jagged marks only sharp teeth could make. “It was the most epic pain I’d ever felt in my life and I screamed so fucking loudly. People heard and came running. So, they didn’t have enough time to kill me like they were planning to. Instead, they just left me there and the last thing I remembered was this burning pain all through my body and a few people crowding over me. Then I woke up in this place, mumbling about vampires. They instantly labeled me as insane due to being traumatized by Jason’s murder. I wasn‘t and I‘m not. I‘ve moved on from it and everything. I just refuse to lie about who I am in order to get out of here. See what I mean when I get angry when no one listens? I‘m telling the truth! No one fucking believed me, though. My parents visited me twice before giving up on me, completely.”

I stare at him and slowly nod my head, trying to process everything I’ve just been told, “S-So, uh, how did you know that you’d, uh, b-become one?”

“Ah, well, it might have something to do with the fact that I could move faster than I ever have in my life, had some form of mind controlling power, fangs and how I wanted to attack people so badly.”

“Did you ever?”

“Yes. One.”

I feel a sudden shock run through my body which I’m pretty sure is fear, “You…killed someone?!”

“Please don’t freak out, Mikey, please! Look, the whole thing was new to me and I couldn’t control myself, as hard as I tried. I’ve never forgiven myself for it. God knows how much shit it caused in here. Patience used to talk!”

I shake my head, confused, “Wait, Patience? What’s it got to do with her?”

Frank sighs and covers his face with his hands as he falls back onto the bed so he’s lying down. Eventually, he says, “Patience was sent here a while before me…with her sister, Nicole. I still don’t know exactly why they were sent here. But, anyway, when I came here, I…” he chokes back a sob and I place my hand on his knee for support, “I-I couldn’t help it. N-Nicole…we were alone and, I couldn’t fucking help it.”

Shit. He’s fucking serious.

“After it happened, I got so scared. I dumped her body in the bathrooms and left her there. They just assumed she killed herself and Patience…it fucking tore her apart. And it’s all my fucking fault!”

He starts crying a little and I don’t know whether to feel sympathetic or scared. I go with sympathetic. So, I pull him up from the bed and hug him. He latches back onto me like there’s no tomorrow. I try to let everything process through my head while I hug him.

From the way he clings onto me and cries, he must feel pretty fucking shitty. He keeps rambling on quietly about how it’s all his fault and he’ll never forgive himself. So, I rub circles around his back, hoping it’ll make him feel better, which it does, I’m sure because eventually, he stops crying and just stays still in my arms.

A few moments later, he croaks, “Still think I’m insane?”

Even though he can’t see me, I nod my head, “Kind of…”

He releases himself from my arms, wipes his eyes and looks at me seriously, “And I bet there’s still a part of you that doesn’t believe this at all, right? Or, just doesn’t want to?”

I nod my head, deciding not to lie to him. It seems like a bad idea.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Listen, you have no idea how much it means to me that you’re, at least, trying to believe me. Really. I’ve tried to tell other people before, but that just made things worse, you see, and…just, thank you. By the way, feel free to freak out anytime because you‘ve stayed shockingly calm for me telling you shit like this.”

“I-I just…This stuff isn’t meant to be fucking real.” I stutter out in a whisper. I’m in too much deep thought to create a substantial strong voice. “L-Like I feel like I’m insane and you can’t be real. That’s basically how I’m feeling right now.”

“I’m as real as you are, Mikey.”

“Explain to me how it’s possible that you are.”

“All the times in the bathroom, every time the temperature dropped, that dream you had, the time you suddenly wanted to come to the balcony with me. I was there and I may have controlled your thoughts a little bit.”

“Wait, what?!” I gasp, my jaw dropping. “No, no. Too fucking far. Now I know this isn’t real.”

“Mikey, how else would I know what I know about you? Every time you were upset, I was watching. Every time you did those things to yourself in the bathroom, I was there. I even said those things you heard that made you think you were truly crazy, but you weren’t and you aren’t. This is all real. Please. You need to believe it. Like I said, when I told a few people before, it only made things worse. They drove themselves to be more insane because they were trying to convince themselves it wasn’t real. I ruined them because of it. I don't want that to happen to you. Please, Mikey. Please, don’t let that be you too. Please.”

“But, we’re meant to be insane. That’s why we’re here, right? What if-”

“Mikey,” he says, reaching out to stroke my cheek, “we aren’t insane. Just…misunderstood. Remember? We both know how it feels when no one listens. How much it hurts.”

I don’t bat away his hand from my face this time because I like it. It’s soothing and I am no longer trying to deny that I’m a little attracted to Frank. I can’t help that he’s fucking gorgeous. In looks, anyway. Personality, I’m still not sure. But he said he cares about me. That’s good, right? I don’t know. Either way, I’m refusing to let him know about this, but when he smirks at me a little, I bat his hand away faster than he could blink.

“Stop it!” I hiss, “You’re doing this, aren’t you?! Trying to make me enjoy it.”

“Oh, honey, I’m not doing anything.” he sighs at me. “What are you talking about?…You‘re enjoying this?” and he strokes my cheek again.

“Fuck!” I whine, batting his hand away again, “I can’t even trust my own fucking thoughts now.”

“Calm down, Mikey.” Frank says to me, calmly, “I don’t want that. I don’t want to control you and I’m not going to.”

I look into his eyes and cringe, “How do I know you’re not making me believe you?”

“Can you trust me?” he asks.

“I have no fucking idea.”

“Try.”

“And how am I meant to do that?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you should just know that, you know, I really do care about you. I’ve seen you and I know you’re a good guy. All I want is your trust and…”

I stare at him intently, “And what?”

“You’re beautiful…” he sighs at me.

I feel painful tears prick my eyes. Should have fucking known, “No!” I cry, “I can’t trust you. Not when you lie to me like that! I know you‘re lying now!”

“What?” he exclaims, “Fuck, no, Mikey. I would never lie to you. Don’t stop listening to me now. You’re beautiful really.” I blink back tears when Frank cups my face with both of his hands and looks me dead in the eye. “Honestly, Mikey, haven’t you ever seen yourself?”

“Unfortunately.” I mumble.

“No, seriously. I mean, inside. You’re probably the nicest guy I’ve ever known and I don’t even know you that well. Please. Listen to me? Believe me. You’re gorgeous.”

I can’t hold back my tears any longer. I squint my eyes shut as the tears leak out from underneath my lids. I let out small breaths and sniff as I bury my head into the first thing it can find. Which just so happens to be Frank’s defined chest. My ear is against the middle of his chest and I almost freeze when I realize that the heart beat any human would have isn’t there. He doesn’t have a heart beat. He wraps his cool arms around my shoulders and waist and holds me close as I cry. As confused as I am right now, it helps. A lot. I hate this so fucking much. I hate it when people try to convince me I’m not hideous. They’re liars. All of them. Now, Frank’s lying to me too.

“Why did everything have to get so fucked up?” I ask mainly myself.

“It’s all gonna be okay. For both of us.”

Releasing myself from him I ask, “How do you know?”

“I can get us out of here, if you want.” he smirks.

“Huh,” I scoff, “And how exactly do you plan on doing that?”

Suddenly he tips his head back and flashes his fangs out again. I nearly faint from how quickly he did it, and, you know, I’m not exactly used to seeing that sort of transition yet. I frown a confused frown at him and he seems amused by my expression.

Chuckling, he says, “Mikey, I’ve been waiting for someone to believe me so they can come with me. We’re busting out of here. With these.” He taps one of his fangs.

I practically feel the blood drain from my face.

---

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