Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > The Patron Saint Of Liars And Fakes
I knew once I opened my eyes my hangover would hit like a brick wall. My mouth was like sandpaper and I was still groggy. The beeping noise that woke me wouldn’t stop. I finally wrenched my eyes open and the sunlight assaulted my eyes in a way that should be illegal.
I grabbed the source of the terrible noise and hit the snooze button before rolling over. I wasn’t on my own in Joe’s bed. It took me a few moments to remember why Harper was in bed with me and then my night came back to me in all its terrifying glory.
We danced on bars, swung out of lamp posts as if they were stripper poles… I think I had my shirt off at one point cause the one I’m wearing now isn’t mine… and Harper is wearing my shirt. This one seems to be hers. We swapped shirts and I just hope to Christ we did it in the bathroom or something and not in the bar or on the street.
My phone began beeping again. I was going to murder the stupid thing. Fuck… we’ve got training. I gently shook Harper by the shoulder and she swotted my hand away and mumbled five more minutes.
”Harper?! We have training!” Her eyes snapped open suddenly and she rolled off the bed and into a heap on the floor.
“Motherfucking sun” she grumbled pulling the sheet off the bed and over her face. “What the hell happened last night?”
“I can honestly say I don’t know”
“Last thing I remember is you taking your shirt off and wanting to swap in the toilets”
“Oh thank god... I thought I undressed in the bar!!” I laughed.
”The bathroom wasn’t empty Alex… I’d say half the bar was in there at that time”
”Ah shit… Meh, everyone’s seen me without my clothes on anyway.”
”I don’t think I can function right today” Harper mumbled pulling herself back onto the bed.
”Well as your teacher I propose a day off from training. Cause I certainly am in no fit state to teach those ponies today”
”Ponies? Alex what? Are you still drunk?”
”Very much so” I said grabbing my phone and typing up a quick group message and I hit send. Harpers phone vibrated in her bag and she grabbed it to read the message.
”You spelt the words ‘no’ and ‘training’ wrong Alex”
”Can you still understand it?!” She nodded. “Well then I don’t care” I rolled over and buried my head under my pillow. “I’m going to buy a house today” I mumbled into the mattress.
“Your gonna what?!” Harper grabbed the pillow off my head. I rolled onto my back and threw my arm over my eyes.
“I’m gonna buy me a house today.”
“But why?!”
“I need somewhere to put all my stuff. It’s like spread all over Chicago at this stage. Between here, Patrick’s and my old house all my belongings are seriously diluted! You should SEE the amount of stuff I have in the Hurley house” She threw the pillow back over my face and lay back down.
Later
“Four bedroom, five and a half bathrooms, detached house on 2 acres of land. Completely refurbished in the last 6 months. Huge kitchen and dining room open plan setting. Flocked damask wallpapers and-”
“I’ll take it” I smiled. “You had me at flock and I love the back garden”
“Oh- Right, well shall we head back to the office and sort out the paperwork and the mortgage”
”I don’t need a mortgage. I’ll pay in cash” The realtor’s mouth popped open in a little oh and he blinked stupidly at me for a few seconds.
”Miss Klassen, this property is $1.5 million. If this is some kind of joke-” I cut him off with a wave of my hand and used the line I hated most but he really pissed me off.
”Do you know who I am?! $1.5 million is pocket change to me. No this is not a joke but if you feel like that then I will take my business elsewhere.” I snatched my bag from the table and turned to leave.
“I-I’m so sorry Miss Klassen. Its not often we have people pay by cash and it threw me a bit. My apologies Miss and for my mistake I’ll wave 50% of my fee which brings the house price down to $1.25 million. Once again I’m very sorry”
”That’s better. Now let’s go sign those papers” I smiled sweetly at him batting my lashes. He stood stunned and staring at me for a few seconds before he shook his head and left before us.
”Why do you do that to people?!” Harper laughed.
”Do what?” I asked innocently
”Stun them like that! The poor man didn’t know what hit him” I just smiled at her and headed out to the car.
I can’t move into my house for another month apparently cause the pool is being put in. I have to stay at Joes. I mean the realtor kept that little nugget of info quiet didn’t he. The prick. The whole reason I bought the house was to move in right away. I’m having all my stuff from the Hurley’s delivered over and unpacked for me by the interior designer so I won’t have much to do when I moved out of Joes.
Still… I had to stay and face Joe when he got back and I was not looking forward to that.
One Week Before the Show
”It’s been moved to where?” I cried standing up.
“Angels and Kings, Alex. Sit down.” I sat down like I was told.
”But why was it moved?”
”Bigger capacity. We’re selling more tickets than we have the space for in this place. The venue had to be changed”
”But there’s hundreds of other venues Will. Why Kings?”
“Pete’s giving us a good deal. Just get over it Alex.” I know I was throwing a fit over nothing because myself and Pete were still friends. But the others would be there too and I had done a good enough job avoiding Joe the last two weeks and now I’d have to face him.
I got up and went back to the stage area where the girls were finishing up.
”I need you all to be at Angels and Kings at 10am tomorrow morning. There’s been a venue change and we need to re-calibrate your acts to that stage there. Is that okay with everyone?” A few annoyed sighs and eye rolls but overall it’s alright.
”Right well, I’ll see you girls in the morning” I went back to my office and packed up my things before sitting down and resting my head on my folded arms.
”Alex?” Harper knocked at the door. I just wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone. I didn’t reply.
”You have to see him at some point. Have you talked to him since he got back?” She pressed.
”No, I’ve done a pretty awesome job of getting in and out of the apartment without talking to him.”
”Your gonna have to do it some time. Quit being a fucking pussy Alex” I gazed at her with my mouth hanging open. I wasn’t used to someone talking to me like this and I was about to verbally kick ass.
”Don’t even bother trying to verbally kick my ass Alexandra cause I will hand you yours on a plate. It’s what friends do.” She poked her tongue out at me.
”Have I ever told you I hate you?”
”Everyday bby. Now get up and go fucking home and talk to Joe.”
“Fine, I’ll go home but not cause you told me” I sulked grabbing my stuff and heading out the door.
I took the longest way home possible and took my time getting out of my car and up to the apartment. All the time hoping Joe would be asleep when I got in. I managed to slip in the door without a sound. I mentally praised myself.
”Alex?”
Shit.
”Eh, yeah.” I answered back heading towards the kitchen where Joe was.
”You’ve been avoiding me” It was a statement, not a question. “Why?” There was the question.
”I- I don’t want to be rejected again” I admitted quietly. He didn’t respond to that. I steeled myself for the worst.
”The real estate agent called today and said your house is ready for you to move into. Why didn’t you tell me you were moving out? No less bought a house.”
”I was actually hoping to be gone before you got back in the first place but there were things to be finished in the hou- and yeah-” I trailed off studying a knot in the floor boards. For such a big personality I was a coward when it came to confrontations.
“It looks like you’ve made your decision so” He said quietly.
”My decision?”
”You don’t want this to work” He gestured between us
”Hold on now, I wasn’t the one that left okay. I told you how I felt that day and you still left so you made my decision for me”
”Alex, you have to see it from my point of view. I’ve had different stories about you from all sides for almost three years now and I was scared at how this would be. I’m sorry but the first thought that went through my head was which of my friend will she cheat on me with”
”That’s a valid point and I can completely understand where your coming from and I’d be the same way if it were the other way around but you just need to trust me that I won’t”
”I realise that and that’s why I had to get away. I needed to figure that out myself. But then you went and bought the house and it seems that you don’t want this anymore.”
”The house I needed for all my stuff and I need my own house. I can’t keep crashing here like I have been for the last few months.”
”But I liked having you here…”
”Look, will we just see how this goes? To be honest I’m not ready for a relationship right now. And I don’t think you are either”
”Your right, I’m not. We’ll just see how it goes. Like a sorta open relationship I guess.”
”It’s a deal” he offered his hand to shake.
So I’m not with Joe in a traditional sense but we’re in this together if that makes any sense. It’s complicated. Just like the wonderful life I live.
I grabbed the source of the terrible noise and hit the snooze button before rolling over. I wasn’t on my own in Joe’s bed. It took me a few moments to remember why Harper was in bed with me and then my night came back to me in all its terrifying glory.
We danced on bars, swung out of lamp posts as if they were stripper poles… I think I had my shirt off at one point cause the one I’m wearing now isn’t mine… and Harper is wearing my shirt. This one seems to be hers. We swapped shirts and I just hope to Christ we did it in the bathroom or something and not in the bar or on the street.
My phone began beeping again. I was going to murder the stupid thing. Fuck… we’ve got training. I gently shook Harper by the shoulder and she swotted my hand away and mumbled five more minutes.
”Harper?! We have training!” Her eyes snapped open suddenly and she rolled off the bed and into a heap on the floor.
“Motherfucking sun” she grumbled pulling the sheet off the bed and over her face. “What the hell happened last night?”
“I can honestly say I don’t know”
“Last thing I remember is you taking your shirt off and wanting to swap in the toilets”
“Oh thank god... I thought I undressed in the bar!!” I laughed.
”The bathroom wasn’t empty Alex… I’d say half the bar was in there at that time”
”Ah shit… Meh, everyone’s seen me without my clothes on anyway.”
”I don’t think I can function right today” Harper mumbled pulling herself back onto the bed.
”Well as your teacher I propose a day off from training. Cause I certainly am in no fit state to teach those ponies today”
”Ponies? Alex what? Are you still drunk?”
”Very much so” I said grabbing my phone and typing up a quick group message and I hit send. Harpers phone vibrated in her bag and she grabbed it to read the message.
”You spelt the words ‘no’ and ‘training’ wrong Alex”
”Can you still understand it?!” She nodded. “Well then I don’t care” I rolled over and buried my head under my pillow. “I’m going to buy a house today” I mumbled into the mattress.
“Your gonna what?!” Harper grabbed the pillow off my head. I rolled onto my back and threw my arm over my eyes.
“I’m gonna buy me a house today.”
“But why?!”
“I need somewhere to put all my stuff. It’s like spread all over Chicago at this stage. Between here, Patrick’s and my old house all my belongings are seriously diluted! You should SEE the amount of stuff I have in the Hurley house” She threw the pillow back over my face and lay back down.
Later
“Four bedroom, five and a half bathrooms, detached house on 2 acres of land. Completely refurbished in the last 6 months. Huge kitchen and dining room open plan setting. Flocked damask wallpapers and-”
“I’ll take it” I smiled. “You had me at flock and I love the back garden”
“Oh- Right, well shall we head back to the office and sort out the paperwork and the mortgage”
”I don’t need a mortgage. I’ll pay in cash” The realtor’s mouth popped open in a little oh and he blinked stupidly at me for a few seconds.
”Miss Klassen, this property is $1.5 million. If this is some kind of joke-” I cut him off with a wave of my hand and used the line I hated most but he really pissed me off.
”Do you know who I am?! $1.5 million is pocket change to me. No this is not a joke but if you feel like that then I will take my business elsewhere.” I snatched my bag from the table and turned to leave.
“I-I’m so sorry Miss Klassen. Its not often we have people pay by cash and it threw me a bit. My apologies Miss and for my mistake I’ll wave 50% of my fee which brings the house price down to $1.25 million. Once again I’m very sorry”
”That’s better. Now let’s go sign those papers” I smiled sweetly at him batting my lashes. He stood stunned and staring at me for a few seconds before he shook his head and left before us.
”Why do you do that to people?!” Harper laughed.
”Do what?” I asked innocently
”Stun them like that! The poor man didn’t know what hit him” I just smiled at her and headed out to the car.
I can’t move into my house for another month apparently cause the pool is being put in. I have to stay at Joes. I mean the realtor kept that little nugget of info quiet didn’t he. The prick. The whole reason I bought the house was to move in right away. I’m having all my stuff from the Hurley’s delivered over and unpacked for me by the interior designer so I won’t have much to do when I moved out of Joes.
Still… I had to stay and face Joe when he got back and I was not looking forward to that.
One Week Before the Show
”It’s been moved to where?” I cried standing up.
“Angels and Kings, Alex. Sit down.” I sat down like I was told.
”But why was it moved?”
”Bigger capacity. We’re selling more tickets than we have the space for in this place. The venue had to be changed”
”But there’s hundreds of other venues Will. Why Kings?”
“Pete’s giving us a good deal. Just get over it Alex.” I know I was throwing a fit over nothing because myself and Pete were still friends. But the others would be there too and I had done a good enough job avoiding Joe the last two weeks and now I’d have to face him.
I got up and went back to the stage area where the girls were finishing up.
”I need you all to be at Angels and Kings at 10am tomorrow morning. There’s been a venue change and we need to re-calibrate your acts to that stage there. Is that okay with everyone?” A few annoyed sighs and eye rolls but overall it’s alright.
”Right well, I’ll see you girls in the morning” I went back to my office and packed up my things before sitting down and resting my head on my folded arms.
”Alex?” Harper knocked at the door. I just wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone. I didn’t reply.
”You have to see him at some point. Have you talked to him since he got back?” She pressed.
”No, I’ve done a pretty awesome job of getting in and out of the apartment without talking to him.”
”Your gonna have to do it some time. Quit being a fucking pussy Alex” I gazed at her with my mouth hanging open. I wasn’t used to someone talking to me like this and I was about to verbally kick ass.
”Don’t even bother trying to verbally kick my ass Alexandra cause I will hand you yours on a plate. It’s what friends do.” She poked her tongue out at me.
”Have I ever told you I hate you?”
”Everyday bby. Now get up and go fucking home and talk to Joe.”
“Fine, I’ll go home but not cause you told me” I sulked grabbing my stuff and heading out the door.
I took the longest way home possible and took my time getting out of my car and up to the apartment. All the time hoping Joe would be asleep when I got in. I managed to slip in the door without a sound. I mentally praised myself.
”Alex?”
Shit.
”Eh, yeah.” I answered back heading towards the kitchen where Joe was.
”You’ve been avoiding me” It was a statement, not a question. “Why?” There was the question.
”I- I don’t want to be rejected again” I admitted quietly. He didn’t respond to that. I steeled myself for the worst.
”The real estate agent called today and said your house is ready for you to move into. Why didn’t you tell me you were moving out? No less bought a house.”
”I was actually hoping to be gone before you got back in the first place but there were things to be finished in the hou- and yeah-” I trailed off studying a knot in the floor boards. For such a big personality I was a coward when it came to confrontations.
“It looks like you’ve made your decision so” He said quietly.
”My decision?”
”You don’t want this to work” He gestured between us
”Hold on now, I wasn’t the one that left okay. I told you how I felt that day and you still left so you made my decision for me”
”Alex, you have to see it from my point of view. I’ve had different stories about you from all sides for almost three years now and I was scared at how this would be. I’m sorry but the first thought that went through my head was which of my friend will she cheat on me with”
”That’s a valid point and I can completely understand where your coming from and I’d be the same way if it were the other way around but you just need to trust me that I won’t”
”I realise that and that’s why I had to get away. I needed to figure that out myself. But then you went and bought the house and it seems that you don’t want this anymore.”
”The house I needed for all my stuff and I need my own house. I can’t keep crashing here like I have been for the last few months.”
”But I liked having you here…”
”Look, will we just see how this goes? To be honest I’m not ready for a relationship right now. And I don’t think you are either”
”Your right, I’m not. We’ll just see how it goes. Like a sorta open relationship I guess.”
”It’s a deal” he offered his hand to shake.
So I’m not with Joe in a traditional sense but we’re in this together if that makes any sense. It’s complicated. Just like the wonderful life I live.
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