FicWad

So with the decision to move again, James and I spend all morning packing up our stuff. I had just finished packing up my bag when there was a loud honking sound from the front of our house. I figured that some random car was honking at another car out on the street until there were another loud series of honks that sounded like they were coming from our driveway. Pulling my black bag with all my belongings closed, I raised an eyebrow at James and said, "What the hell was that?"

James gave me another one of those nervous looks and he quickly took my hand and started leading me towards the door. I instantly got the feeling that there was something he wasn't telling me as we hurried towards the door to the house. As James pushed the door open, I asked, "Um, what exactly is going on?"

In the middle of our driveway was a big U-Haul truck. In the back of the truck, were Dave, Lars, Cliff, and all of their possessions. It took me a minute before I realized what was going on. When I did, I turned wide eyes towards James and gasped aloud, "Are we actually going to travel all the way to New York in the back of a U-Haul truck?"

James avoided my eyes and nodded slowly, "Yeah. I know it's not the best way to travel, but there's nothing we can really do about it. It's the easiest way for the band to travel together. I know you're not gonna be too thrilled about this whole situation, but we'll do our best to make it work, okay? It won't take all that long to get to New York."

I really did not want to travel all the way to New York in a U-Haul. I mean, the drive to New York from San Fransisco was certainly going to take several days. I didn't really want to spend the next week and a half packed up in a truck. Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do about this now. Taking a deep breath, I stepped forwards into the back of the truck bravely and replied, "Okay."

As soon as Lars saw James, he jumped out of the truck and started talking to him in a low voice. I knew I shouldn't listen into their conversation, but I had some gut feeling that the two of them were talking about me. Feeling only slightly guilty about eavesdropping, I crept over to the edge of the truck since Cliff and Dave hadn't noticed me yet and leaned down to listen to the conversation.

"Come on, James," Lars was saying in an exasperated voice. "We really can't have a girl trailing us all the way to New York. You know this isn't the kind of life she wants. She shouldn't be traveling around with a group of guys that have no clue what they're doing most of the time. Besides, you know how Dave is with Olivia around. All that girl is is trouble. I don't want her around. It's gonna end up causing major problems for the band. You know that as well as I do."

James gave Lars a disgusted looked and quickly replied in a deadly tone, "I'm not leaving Olivia. I don't care what you think. She's part of me now. I need her with me." Lars exhaled loudly and started pleading with James, "Please, James, please do this for me? You can break up with her right now and prevent a whole lot of trouble. What you should've done is just left while she was at work. If you had done that, then you would never have had to explain a thing to her."

"Wait, you're saying I should have just left her without saying a thing?" James looked at Lars incredulously. Blushing ever so slightly, Lars nodded. James got a nasty look on his face and shook his head, "There is no fucking way I would've abandoned her. Do you have any idea how cruel that would be? I love her, Lars. She's coming with us. If you aren't going to accept her presence on this tour, then I'm not coming with you. You're gonna have to find a new vocalist and guitarist."

Lars scratched his head and looked down at his feet, obviously knowing he couldn't continue on this tour without James. Finally, he gave one more attempt at trying to get James to leave me behind, "You're not thinking this through, James. You'd seriously give up the band for a girl? What about the band? The band is your family. The girl is just...well...a pathetic little girl. She's not even all that good looking and there's something odd around her. She seems so scared of people sometimes."

James narrowed his eyes and gave Lars a deadly look, "You have no idea what Olivia has been through. She's not pathetic at all. She was literally a sex slave for half a year without my knowledge. When I found out, she was dying. Don't say anything bad about Olivia. Apologize for calling her pathetic. She's anything but that."

Noticing that he was going to have to apologize in order to appease James, Lars finally gave in and apologized, "Okay, I'm sorry. I guess I didn't know about Olivia's past. But really James, you should think about Olivia. I'm sure she doesn't want to go to New York. She probably just wants to settle down somewhere. Hauling her all around the US may not be such a good idea. Maybe she doesn't want to come with us but has only agreed because she's scared of you."

"Fuck no," James exclaimed, starting to get angry. He was about to say something, but Lars cut him off, "No offense or anything, James, but aren't you being a little selfish in bringing her along? Like I said, there's a good possibility she doesn't want to do. Besides, are you sure you're really in love with her? It seems that all you really want her around for is for her sex. You do know there are plenty of women from clubs that would be more than willing to spend a night with you, right? It'd be much easier for us if you could just sleep with some of them instead of hauling some girl all the way to New York with us."

James looked like he wanted to hit Lars, but somehow, he managed to keep calm. When he spoke, his voice was steady but had an edge to it, "Lars, I don't keep Olivia around to have sex. I understand that you probably don't get it since you don't have a girlfriend, but girls aren't just for sex. They have feelings and a life too. I'm not going to go and try to hook up with prostitutes or girls at clubs just for sex. Olivia's the only girl I want. You're not gonna change my opinion on that. So, are we coming with you or not?"

Lars, looking defeated, finally sighed and said, "Yeah, I guess so. I think you're making a big mistake though, James. Mark my words, that Olivia is gonna be trouble." With that, Lars ran a hand through his long, brown hair and hoisted himself into the truck. I quickly retreated from the entrance of the truck and pretended that I hadn't heard a word that Lars and James had just said.

However, despite my outward calmness, I was boiling with rage and hurt inside. I couldn't believe that Lars had just suggested to James that he should just abandon me. Tears started to fill my eyes, but I held them back as James climbed into the back of the truck. I could see like he was trying to act like everything was okay even though he was secretly angry at Lars as well.

As James clamored into the truck, Dave and Cliff looked over at him from the opposite end of the truck. Cliff raised a hand casually in greeting while Dave just shot James a cold look before searching around the truck. Finally turning his gaze reluctantly back to James, Dave asked, "Where's Olivia? You brought her along with you, right?"

Lars shot a look at James that read, "I told you so!" James, however, refused to look Lars in the eye. Staring frostily ahead at Dave, he nodded, "Yeah, Olivia's here. I don't want you bothering her though. Especially not when you're drunk. I smell alcohol on your breath so just keep your distance from her unless you're sober." Everyone looked surprised at James' snappy words, but nobody said anything. Instead, they went back to doing whatever they had been doing before we arrived as the truck pulled out of the driveway and headed off towards New York. James put a happy smile on his face and came over to where I was sitting in the corner of the opposite end of the truck. He sat down next to me on the floor and placed his hand over mine.

I tried to smile at James, but it wasn't a real smile. It was one of those fake smiles that you use when you're trying to cover up your true feelings. The two of us sat in silence for a few minutes. James picked up my hand, flipped it over, and started tracing my palm lightly with his finger tips. From the other end of the truck, we could hear Lars and Cliff laughing about something.

Suddenly, I was unable to keep my thoughts to myself any longer. Taking a deep breath, I blurted out in a voice not loud enough for the others to hear, "James, would you ever abandon me?" The fake smile that James had kept pasted on his face immediately dissolved into a grimace. He shot a menacing look in Lars' direction before turning to face me.

"Let me guess, you heard my conversation with Lars, didn't you?" James sighed. Not seeing any reason to deny it, I simply nodded. I could feel those tears start to press forth in my eyes again. Willing myself not to try, I avoided James' gaze and looked at my feet instead. James sighed again and then continued, "Olivia, you do know that I would not abandon you or break up with you or do any of the shitty things Lars was suggesting. You know me better than that. I've promised not to leave you and I don't break promises." My thoughts immediately traveled to Brianna the stripper. What had happened to that promise?

Raising an eyebrow suspicious at him, I countered his argument, "What about Brianna? You know, the girl you slept with? You broke a promise to me when you had sex with her." James' jaw tensed and he looked like he was searching around in his head for an excuse for that. Unable to come up with one, he sighed and said, "Okay, you're right. I did break my promise to you. Believe me though, I'll never do it again. Like I've told you before, I don't like making love to any girls but you. But really, this conversation is totally pointless. We're getting off track. Let's get back to what this is really about. You're worried I'll leave you somewhere in New York or on our tour, aren't you? Tell me the truth, Olive."

I was most concerned about that at the moment. It would be so easy for James to slip away from me in a club or at a store. He could leave me there and I would never see him again. The thought of that made me shudder and I turned wide, scared eyes up to James, "Yeah, I'm worried about that. It would be so easy for you to leave me. It probably wouldn't influence you much, but it would change my life so much. It would rip my heart in two and..." My sentence trailed off because I started choking.

James quickly wrapped his arms around me in a comforting embrace and pulled my head against his shoulder, "Olive, I'm not gonna leave you. I swear to god that I won't. You were in my life before the fucking band ever fuckin' started. If I had to make a choice between the two, I'd choose you, okay? Please trust me on this."

Looking into James' earnest, hazel eyes, I found that I was truly able to believe him. Unfortunately, I couldn't hold my tears back any longer. They silently dripped from my eyes down my cheek and soaked into James' shoulder. James held me tightly and rubbed my lower back with his hand as he whispered comforting words to me. As James held me in his arms, I couldn't help but wonder if maybe Lars was right. I was pretty pathetic and weak. Here I was crying and acting like a weak little girl.

"James?" I choked out between the tears, "Is it true what Lars said?" James shook his head vigorously and pulled me even closer to him, "No. None of Lars' shit was true. Forget he ever said those things about you." Pulling away from his chest for a slight moment to look directly into his eyes, I managed out, "I meant the part about me being strange, ugly, and pathetic."

James shot a murderous look in Lars' direction. Lars was still laughing with Cliff over who-knows-what. Turning back to me, James said, "Olivia, you are anything but pathetic and strange. You're beautiful, strong, and mean the world to me. Lars is just jealous because he doesn't have a girlfriend. I can guarantee you that." Hoping James was right, my tears eventually stopped and I found myself relaxing in his arms. Lars may not want me around, but James obviously did. He wouldn't leave me on the tour. Little did I know that my fears of being left behind were going to be the opposite of my fears in the future.