Categories > TV > Stargate: SG-1 > We Shouldn't Keep Meeting Like This
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1999, Earth, United States, Colorado.
Calling a halt to alien invasions had been an integral part of Stargate Command's mission statement from day one. Still, no one expected a spaceship to suddenly land right on top of Cheyenne Mountain, the SGC's home base. But one did.
The base had gone on full alert as soon as an unauthorized flyover was reported. Radar footage gave a rough indication of the location where the offending craft had landed. When troops arrived to surround it, however, there ended up being a lot of embarrassed standing around and looking for something to surround. That was when a hatch opened, seemingly in mid-air, and someone definitely human came out, although he was not exactly dressed to modern standards. When he saw the waiting cordon, he waved cheerfully and started to climb down. He was wearing very little: sandals, a weird hat and an oversized tee-shirt belted at the waist. Nothing else. Colonel O'Neill was standing almost directly beneath the descending stranger and got an exceptionally good view of the man's proof of humanity.
"So, what mental hospital did he escape from?" Jack asked of no one in particular. By the looks of the people around him, he was giving voice to the thoughts of just about everyone else.
"A Roman one, by the looks of it." Daniel remarked unhelpfully. The commotion had been enough to draw even Danny away from his squiggles. As Stargate Command's greatest linguistic expert, he had been allowed on the site to act as a translator, should one be needed.
"Huh?" was the only response Jack O'Neill could manage. Thankfully, Danny didn't really need any more than that.
"Loose tunic, sandals and the cap. He's dressed like a freedman from ancient Rome."
"You happen to know /why/, too?"
"Beats me."
The stranger had reached solid ground by this time and swept the cap off his head in a grandiose bow. "Thank you, thank you. No applause necessary. Hope you enjoyed the show."
Jack thought this lunatic looked familiar. He was certain he'd met him before, but could not recall where.
Finally, someone remembered that they were supposed to be arresting him. Once they got up close, it was obvious that their captive was rather dirty. He appeared to be covered with something like dust or ash. So, before any kind of interrogation could take place, he was allowed to shower and change into some more appropriate and less revealing attire.
The base doctors had demanded that they be allowed to carry out a medical exam on the 'alien' visitor. The man was all smiles and jokes, shamelessly flirting with every female in sight throughout the exam. These antics were observed by Colonel O'Neill from behind a one-way mirror. He thought he saw the patient checking out some of the male guards as well. Jack wrote it off as his prisoner trying to judge his possibilities for escape. Which were nil, as far as everyone on the base was concerned.
Then, at last, the interrogation. As second in command of the SGC, Colonel O'Neill had appointed himself chief interrogator. When he entered the room, the captive noticed his rank, which seemed to finally draw the man's attention to the seriousness of the situation. He stopped talking to his guards, at least. Every word the intruder had said since entering the base had been recorded, but so far, none of it had been especially interesting. He had said nothing about who he was, where he came from, or how he had gotten there. He had just engaged everyone in incessant small talk. The Colonel, on the other hand, was greeted with silence.
This gave Jack the time to really study the stranger closely; from his short dark hair to his muscular build that was clearly evident beneath the tee-shirt he now wore. He reminded the Colonel of a 1940's movie star.
The stranger noticed Jack's scrutiny and seemed to find his sense of humor again. "Like what you see?"
Suddenly, O'Neill realized that he did recognize this guy. The way he was dressed now only reinforced that fact, and his arrogance clinched it. It was the same man who had casually dismissed the professionalism of the then Captain O'Neill and his squad of Special Forces troops. "Not really, no," O'Neill replied blandly. "So, how'd you like getting caught by the real professionals?"
The other man looked surprised. "Is that supposed to mean something?"
"You go around causing forest fires a lot?" Jack saw his prisoner's expression close up, becoming a poker face. Gotcha!
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Colonel, but if I did that, I'm sure I had a pretty good reason."
"Who are you?"
"Jack Harkness, Captain, 4553610-S-57-C-5124," came the immediate reply.
"That's not a valid service number." Of course, the Colonel knew that someone would already be running the name through every available database.
"Maybe it isn't, and maybe it is," Captain Jack said guardedly. "I'm sure you think you'll know more about me than I know about myself in about ten minutes." His poker faced expression did not change.
"You can bet on it. So, a Captain, huh? Of what?"
Silence.
"Why did you come here? Why were you dressed like you just came from the streets of Rome?" Harkness' eyes flickered momentarily. Hah! O'Neill thought. He'd gotten through the poker face! But it was only to change into that annoying grin again.
"I'm impressed, Colonel. I didn't think my dress sense would be so instantly recognizable. You really should try it. Very refreshing."
"Didn't look too fresh to me."
"Yes, well, that'll teach me to stay close to a volcano for too long." Harkness looked up at the clock and sat back nonchalantly. "Oh, look at that. Time to go. Thanks for the shower, Colonel O'Neill. I needed that. Could've done with a meal as well, but hey, you can't have everything, right? Bye." And with that, he was gone. Just like that.
Jack sat staring at the empty seat for several seconds. He had a terrible sinking feeling in his stomach, anticipating the reports he'd have to fill in about this. That would probably take him from now until doomsday. Could Apophis invade now, please?
He almost thought he had gotten his wish when the alarms started blaring. But it turned out that the strange craft that had brought Jack Harkness had taken off again - and disappeared.
1999, Earth, United States, Colorado.
Calling a halt to alien invasions had been an integral part of Stargate Command's mission statement from day one. Still, no one expected a spaceship to suddenly land right on top of Cheyenne Mountain, the SGC's home base. But one did.
The base had gone on full alert as soon as an unauthorized flyover was reported. Radar footage gave a rough indication of the location where the offending craft had landed. When troops arrived to surround it, however, there ended up being a lot of embarrassed standing around and looking for something to surround. That was when a hatch opened, seemingly in mid-air, and someone definitely human came out, although he was not exactly dressed to modern standards. When he saw the waiting cordon, he waved cheerfully and started to climb down. He was wearing very little: sandals, a weird hat and an oversized tee-shirt belted at the waist. Nothing else. Colonel O'Neill was standing almost directly beneath the descending stranger and got an exceptionally good view of the man's proof of humanity.
"So, what mental hospital did he escape from?" Jack asked of no one in particular. By the looks of the people around him, he was giving voice to the thoughts of just about everyone else.
"A Roman one, by the looks of it." Daniel remarked unhelpfully. The commotion had been enough to draw even Danny away from his squiggles. As Stargate Command's greatest linguistic expert, he had been allowed on the site to act as a translator, should one be needed.
"Huh?" was the only response Jack O'Neill could manage. Thankfully, Danny didn't really need any more than that.
"Loose tunic, sandals and the cap. He's dressed like a freedman from ancient Rome."
"You happen to know /why/, too?"
"Beats me."
The stranger had reached solid ground by this time and swept the cap off his head in a grandiose bow. "Thank you, thank you. No applause necessary. Hope you enjoyed the show."
Jack thought this lunatic looked familiar. He was certain he'd met him before, but could not recall where.
Finally, someone remembered that they were supposed to be arresting him. Once they got up close, it was obvious that their captive was rather dirty. He appeared to be covered with something like dust or ash. So, before any kind of interrogation could take place, he was allowed to shower and change into some more appropriate and less revealing attire.
The base doctors had demanded that they be allowed to carry out a medical exam on the 'alien' visitor. The man was all smiles and jokes, shamelessly flirting with every female in sight throughout the exam. These antics were observed by Colonel O'Neill from behind a one-way mirror. He thought he saw the patient checking out some of the male guards as well. Jack wrote it off as his prisoner trying to judge his possibilities for escape. Which were nil, as far as everyone on the base was concerned.
Then, at last, the interrogation. As second in command of the SGC, Colonel O'Neill had appointed himself chief interrogator. When he entered the room, the captive noticed his rank, which seemed to finally draw the man's attention to the seriousness of the situation. He stopped talking to his guards, at least. Every word the intruder had said since entering the base had been recorded, but so far, none of it had been especially interesting. He had said nothing about who he was, where he came from, or how he had gotten there. He had just engaged everyone in incessant small talk. The Colonel, on the other hand, was greeted with silence.
This gave Jack the time to really study the stranger closely; from his short dark hair to his muscular build that was clearly evident beneath the tee-shirt he now wore. He reminded the Colonel of a 1940's movie star.
The stranger noticed Jack's scrutiny and seemed to find his sense of humor again. "Like what you see?"
Suddenly, O'Neill realized that he did recognize this guy. The way he was dressed now only reinforced that fact, and his arrogance clinched it. It was the same man who had casually dismissed the professionalism of the then Captain O'Neill and his squad of Special Forces troops. "Not really, no," O'Neill replied blandly. "So, how'd you like getting caught by the real professionals?"
The other man looked surprised. "Is that supposed to mean something?"
"You go around causing forest fires a lot?" Jack saw his prisoner's expression close up, becoming a poker face. Gotcha!
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Colonel, but if I did that, I'm sure I had a pretty good reason."
"Who are you?"
"Jack Harkness, Captain, 4553610-S-57-C-5124," came the immediate reply.
"That's not a valid service number." Of course, the Colonel knew that someone would already be running the name through every available database.
"Maybe it isn't, and maybe it is," Captain Jack said guardedly. "I'm sure you think you'll know more about me than I know about myself in about ten minutes." His poker faced expression did not change.
"You can bet on it. So, a Captain, huh? Of what?"
Silence.
"Why did you come here? Why were you dressed like you just came from the streets of Rome?" Harkness' eyes flickered momentarily. Hah! O'Neill thought. He'd gotten through the poker face! But it was only to change into that annoying grin again.
"I'm impressed, Colonel. I didn't think my dress sense would be so instantly recognizable. You really should try it. Very refreshing."
"Didn't look too fresh to me."
"Yes, well, that'll teach me to stay close to a volcano for too long." Harkness looked up at the clock and sat back nonchalantly. "Oh, look at that. Time to go. Thanks for the shower, Colonel O'Neill. I needed that. Could've done with a meal as well, but hey, you can't have everything, right? Bye." And with that, he was gone. Just like that.
Jack sat staring at the empty seat for several seconds. He had a terrible sinking feeling in his stomach, anticipating the reports he'd have to fill in about this. That would probably take him from now until doomsday. Could Apophis invade now, please?
He almost thought he had gotten his wish when the alarms started blaring. But it turned out that the strange craft that had brought Jack Harkness had taken off again - and disappeared.
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