Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > I've Got Headaches and Bad Luck
“Damnit Joe what the fuck did you get me into?!” Patrick screamed as Andy untied him.
“How do you know Patrick from Weezer??” Pete said sounding confused.
“He was at the liquor store when I bought the bad drugs…he sold them to me!”
“I didn’t sell you bad fucking drugs!” Patrick said defending himself.
“Wait he sold you the roofalin?” Andy said.
“Roofalin? What the fuck?” Patrick said.
“WHO GIVES A SHIT?!” Pete shouted. “Where’s Patrick?!” Pete screamed at Ryan.
“I AM PATRICK!”
“Not you!!” Pete screamed at him.
Ryan yawned and walked to his car with his body guards.
“Hey wait a minute you gave us the wrong Patrick!!” Pete yelled.
“Not. My. Problem.”
“No way! Fuck that shit! Give us back our money and take him with you!” Pete screamed.
“Wait man I’ll be your Patrick I’ll grow sideburns I’ll wear hats I sing and I already wear glasses!”
“That could work.” Joe said as he smiled.
“SHUT UP!” Pete and Andy yelled.
“Okay I’ll give your money back right after you suck on my balls!” Ryan shouted.
“That’s just nasty.” Patrick said as he shook his head.
“So long gay boys!” Ryan shouted as he climbed into his car and drove off.
“GOD DAMNIT!!” Pete screamed as he kicked the sand.
“Gosh darnit!” Joe said as he did the same.
“SHIT!” Pete screamed while he pulled his hair.
“Shoot!” Joe said as he imitated Pete again.
“What do we do?” Andy whined.
Pete just shook his head. “I’m calling Bob.”
Joe and Andy exchanged looks.
“You sure?” They said at once.
“No but I am sure that I want Patrick back.” Pete said sadly.
Pete grabbed his blackberry and reluctantly dialed Bob’s number.
“Bob…we fucked up.” Pete said as he rubbed his forehead.
As Joe and Andy watched Pete pace up and down they took turns sighing.
“What’s wrong?” Patrick asked.
“We lost our best friend.” Joe said glumly.
“How do you lose someone?” Patrick said as he laughed.
“You gave Joe roofies so we can’t remember anything!” Andy yelled.
“I didn’t give him roofies!!” Patrick shouted.
“Let me clear this up for you. Roofalin. The date rape drug. You gave it to Joe when you both thought it was really ecstasy!”
“First of all I know what Roofalin is asshole. Second of all, Joe I’m so sorry must’ve mixed ‘em up man. My bad.”
“It’s okay.” Joe said as he sighed.
“They should call ‘em floories.” He mumbled.
“Why?” Joe said.
“Because when you take them your most likely to end up on the floor not the roof.”
“What did you just say??” Andy said as he got up.
“Seriously name one person who ends up on a roof after taking roofies. They should call ‘em floories.”
“PATRICK IS ON THE ROOF!!” Andy screamed as he ran to Pete and tackled him to the ground.
“Dude what the fuck?!” Pete yelled.
Andy ignored Pete and yanked his phone from him.
“Bob yeah it’s Andy don’t worry everything is fine we’ll be in California in a couple hours see you then.” Andy said quickly as he hung up the phone. “Patrick is on the roof!” Andy said as he got up off the ground and helped Pete up.
“What?” Pete said as Andy took his hand and ran to the car.
Andy rushed everyone in and started the car on his way back to The Bellagio.
“Hurley explain now.” Pete said sternly.
“Remember a couple years ago back when we stood at a hotel and we put Patrick’s mattress on the roof as a prank??”
Joe and Pete chuckled. “Yeah.” They said.
“And how Patrick had to throw the mattress off of the roof because we forgot about him??”
“Yeah like a reminder.” Pete said.
“Andy I still don’t understand.” Joe said.
“Patrick is on the roof! We put him there like last time! That’s how that mattress got on that statue! Patrick put it there!!”
“How do you know?” Joe said.
“Windows in Vegas hotels don’t open!”
“OH MY GOD PATRICK’S ON THE ROOF!!” Pete and Joe shouted happily.
The boys finally reached the hotel and ran inside straight up to the roof.
“PATRICK!!” Joe shouted as he cupped his mouth.
Pete ran to one side of the roof while Joe searched another Andy walked around and there he was. Lying there. Andy thought the worst. 1 He could of dehydrated 2 He might’ve done drugs last night and overdosed.
Andy ran to him and hugged him tight as he could.
“I FOUND HIIIIM!!!” Andy screamed happily. Joe and Pete followed Andy’s voice and their faces lit up once they saw Patrick’s.
“We have show today don’t we?” Patrick said sounding confused as he looked around. “Are we on the roof?”
“Yes and yes but don’t worry we’re gonna get you home. By the way very nice tan I’m jealous buddy.” Pete said as he and Andy picked him up.
“OWW OW OW MY SKIN IT FUCKING BURNS DON’T TOUCH ME!!” Patrick shouted as he pushed Pete and Andy away.
“Patrick I’ve never been so happy to see you!” Joe said as he spread his arms open.
“Don’t. Touch. Me.” Patrick said as he grinded his teeth. “Take. Me. Home. Now.”
The three nodded.
“How much looonger?” Joe whined.
“It’s busy Joe don’t worry our car will be here any minute.”
“Shit! All the flights to Los Angeles are booked!” Andy said as he hung up his phone.
“We can’t make it in 4 hours there’s too much traffic!!” Joe whined again.
“Yes we can! If we leave right now we can!” Soon as Pete said that their car pulled up.
The group climbed in the car all except Andy. He noticed Monica sitting on a bench smiling once he looked at her.
“Be right back.” He said as he walked towards her.
“Hi.” She said as she smiled at him.
“Hi.” He said as he sat down next to her.
“You leaving?”
“Yeah…you were really great last night with the security and everything. Thanks.”
“Anything for you guys.” She said sweetly.
“When can I see you again?” Andy said shyly.
Her face lit up. “You want to see me again?”
“Yeah…you’re really great.”
“Thanks...” She said as she smiled and looked down shyly. “Oh you should take this back. Who’s Jenna?” She said curiously as she handed him the ring.
“Oh it’s my friend’s I guess I took it from him last night and gave it you.”
Suddenly the sound of a horn blared through their ears. “Andy let’s go!!” Pete yelled.
“Well uh I gotta go.”
“Bye.” She said as she smiled at him and hugged him.
“Uh can I call you?”
“Sure I’d love that.”
“Okay…yeah and you know what I’ll even come back…maybe we can have a date one that I’ll remember.”
Monica giggled. “I’d really love that.”
“Awesome.” Andy said as he smiled and hugged her again.
The foursome was finally on their way home happy as could be. Laughing about the whole entire trip even though they didn’t remember much.
“Oh I forgot to tell you Joe I found your purse it has 80 grand in there.” Patrick said as he handed it to Joe.
Joe looked at Pete and Andy and they all burst into laughter.
“Well boys looks like we have some spending money for our next visit back here!!” Pete said happily as he and his band mates all started to laugh.
Within the nick of time Fall Out Boy made it an hour before the show. Just enough time for all of the time to warm up.
They played their little hearts out it was one of the funnest shows they’ve done in awhile.
They all walked off stage together but Patrick spotted someone who made him want to run back on it. Jenna.
“Patrick! Where the fuck have you been and why the fuck haven’t you been answering my calls you lying bastard!” She shouted as she stormed her near him.
“What did I lie about?!” He yelled.
“How was Vegas?” She said as she pulled out a bill from The Bellagio out of her purse.
“Fine! You caught me! I went to Vegas woopty fucking doo! Big deal!!” He shouted.
“It is a big deal! YOU LIED TO ME!”
“OH SO IT’S OKAY FOR YOU TO LIE ABOUT FUCKING SOME WAITER!!”
“It was a bartender.” Joe said as he raised his hand.
“You’re right thanks Joe. IT’S OKAY FOR YOU TO FUCK BARTENDERS?!!?!”
“Go choke on a piece of shit Patrick.”
“Go choke on the bartender’s cock Jenna but I doubt that will happen since it’s probably big as my pinky!!”
Everyone’s mouths hit the floor. Pete Andy and Joe were so proud of their boy.
“Fellas accompany me for dinner?” Patrick said calmly.
“Sure.” They all said.
“Enjoy you’re bartender with the pinky sized dick Jenna.” Joe said to her.
“Eat my cock.”
“I KNEW IT!” Pete screamed as Patrick Joe and Andy roared with laughter.
Joe finished his food he grabbed his phone out of purse while he was in there he found a camera with pictures. From last night.
“HOLY FUCK BALLS!”
“What?” Patrick said as he laughed.
“I have like a hundred pictures from last night on my camera!” Joe said excitedly.
“Shit seriously?” Pete said as he grabbed the camera from Joe.
“WAIT!” Andy shouted as he quickly grabbed the camera from Pete. “Are we sure we want to see this?”
“Fuck yea man I want to see how I got in the hospital! Is that in there?”
“Yup.” Joe said as he laughed.
“Okay how about this we look at the pictures once and once only then we delete the evidence.” Patrick proposed.
They laid their eyes on the first picture and quickly regretted it.
“DEAR MOTHER OF GOD!”
Haha use your imagination. shrugs Hope you guys liked the story I sure did probably one of my favorites.
“How do you know Patrick from Weezer??” Pete said sounding confused.
“He was at the liquor store when I bought the bad drugs…he sold them to me!”
“I didn’t sell you bad fucking drugs!” Patrick said defending himself.
“Wait he sold you the roofalin?” Andy said.
“Roofalin? What the fuck?” Patrick said.
“WHO GIVES A SHIT?!” Pete shouted. “Where’s Patrick?!” Pete screamed at Ryan.
“I AM PATRICK!”
“Not you!!” Pete screamed at him.
Ryan yawned and walked to his car with his body guards.
“Hey wait a minute you gave us the wrong Patrick!!” Pete yelled.
“Not. My. Problem.”
“No way! Fuck that shit! Give us back our money and take him with you!” Pete screamed.
“Wait man I’ll be your Patrick I’ll grow sideburns I’ll wear hats I sing and I already wear glasses!”
“That could work.” Joe said as he smiled.
“SHUT UP!” Pete and Andy yelled.
“Okay I’ll give your money back right after you suck on my balls!” Ryan shouted.
“That’s just nasty.” Patrick said as he shook his head.
“So long gay boys!” Ryan shouted as he climbed into his car and drove off.
“GOD DAMNIT!!” Pete screamed as he kicked the sand.
“Gosh darnit!” Joe said as he did the same.
“SHIT!” Pete screamed while he pulled his hair.
“Shoot!” Joe said as he imitated Pete again.
“What do we do?” Andy whined.
Pete just shook his head. “I’m calling Bob.”
Joe and Andy exchanged looks.
“You sure?” They said at once.
“No but I am sure that I want Patrick back.” Pete said sadly.
Pete grabbed his blackberry and reluctantly dialed Bob’s number.
“Bob…we fucked up.” Pete said as he rubbed his forehead.
As Joe and Andy watched Pete pace up and down they took turns sighing.
“What’s wrong?” Patrick asked.
“We lost our best friend.” Joe said glumly.
“How do you lose someone?” Patrick said as he laughed.
“You gave Joe roofies so we can’t remember anything!” Andy yelled.
“I didn’t give him roofies!!” Patrick shouted.
“Let me clear this up for you. Roofalin. The date rape drug. You gave it to Joe when you both thought it was really ecstasy!”
“First of all I know what Roofalin is asshole. Second of all, Joe I’m so sorry must’ve mixed ‘em up man. My bad.”
“It’s okay.” Joe said as he sighed.
“They should call ‘em floories.” He mumbled.
“Why?” Joe said.
“Because when you take them your most likely to end up on the floor not the roof.”
“What did you just say??” Andy said as he got up.
“Seriously name one person who ends up on a roof after taking roofies. They should call ‘em floories.”
“PATRICK IS ON THE ROOF!!” Andy screamed as he ran to Pete and tackled him to the ground.
“Dude what the fuck?!” Pete yelled.
Andy ignored Pete and yanked his phone from him.
“Bob yeah it’s Andy don’t worry everything is fine we’ll be in California in a couple hours see you then.” Andy said quickly as he hung up the phone. “Patrick is on the roof!” Andy said as he got up off the ground and helped Pete up.
“What?” Pete said as Andy took his hand and ran to the car.
Andy rushed everyone in and started the car on his way back to The Bellagio.
“Hurley explain now.” Pete said sternly.
“Remember a couple years ago back when we stood at a hotel and we put Patrick’s mattress on the roof as a prank??”
Joe and Pete chuckled. “Yeah.” They said.
“And how Patrick had to throw the mattress off of the roof because we forgot about him??”
“Yeah like a reminder.” Pete said.
“Andy I still don’t understand.” Joe said.
“Patrick is on the roof! We put him there like last time! That’s how that mattress got on that statue! Patrick put it there!!”
“How do you know?” Joe said.
“Windows in Vegas hotels don’t open!”
“OH MY GOD PATRICK’S ON THE ROOF!!” Pete and Joe shouted happily.
The boys finally reached the hotel and ran inside straight up to the roof.
“PATRICK!!” Joe shouted as he cupped his mouth.
Pete ran to one side of the roof while Joe searched another Andy walked around and there he was. Lying there. Andy thought the worst. 1 He could of dehydrated 2 He might’ve done drugs last night and overdosed.
Andy ran to him and hugged him tight as he could.
“I FOUND HIIIIM!!!” Andy screamed happily. Joe and Pete followed Andy’s voice and their faces lit up once they saw Patrick’s.
“We have show today don’t we?” Patrick said sounding confused as he looked around. “Are we on the roof?”
“Yes and yes but don’t worry we’re gonna get you home. By the way very nice tan I’m jealous buddy.” Pete said as he and Andy picked him up.
“OWW OW OW MY SKIN IT FUCKING BURNS DON’T TOUCH ME!!” Patrick shouted as he pushed Pete and Andy away.
“Patrick I’ve never been so happy to see you!” Joe said as he spread his arms open.
“Don’t. Touch. Me.” Patrick said as he grinded his teeth. “Take. Me. Home. Now.”
The three nodded.
“How much looonger?” Joe whined.
“It’s busy Joe don’t worry our car will be here any minute.”
“Shit! All the flights to Los Angeles are booked!” Andy said as he hung up his phone.
“We can’t make it in 4 hours there’s too much traffic!!” Joe whined again.
“Yes we can! If we leave right now we can!” Soon as Pete said that their car pulled up.
The group climbed in the car all except Andy. He noticed Monica sitting on a bench smiling once he looked at her.
“Be right back.” He said as he walked towards her.
“Hi.” She said as she smiled at him.
“Hi.” He said as he sat down next to her.
“You leaving?”
“Yeah…you were really great last night with the security and everything. Thanks.”
“Anything for you guys.” She said sweetly.
“When can I see you again?” Andy said shyly.
Her face lit up. “You want to see me again?”
“Yeah…you’re really great.”
“Thanks...” She said as she smiled and looked down shyly. “Oh you should take this back. Who’s Jenna?” She said curiously as she handed him the ring.
“Oh it’s my friend’s I guess I took it from him last night and gave it you.”
Suddenly the sound of a horn blared through their ears. “Andy let’s go!!” Pete yelled.
“Well uh I gotta go.”
“Bye.” She said as she smiled at him and hugged him.
“Uh can I call you?”
“Sure I’d love that.”
“Okay…yeah and you know what I’ll even come back…maybe we can have a date one that I’ll remember.”
Monica giggled. “I’d really love that.”
“Awesome.” Andy said as he smiled and hugged her again.
The foursome was finally on their way home happy as could be. Laughing about the whole entire trip even though they didn’t remember much.
“Oh I forgot to tell you Joe I found your purse it has 80 grand in there.” Patrick said as he handed it to Joe.
Joe looked at Pete and Andy and they all burst into laughter.
“Well boys looks like we have some spending money for our next visit back here!!” Pete said happily as he and his band mates all started to laugh.
Within the nick of time Fall Out Boy made it an hour before the show. Just enough time for all of the time to warm up.
They played their little hearts out it was one of the funnest shows they’ve done in awhile.
They all walked off stage together but Patrick spotted someone who made him want to run back on it. Jenna.
“Patrick! Where the fuck have you been and why the fuck haven’t you been answering my calls you lying bastard!” She shouted as she stormed her near him.
“What did I lie about?!” He yelled.
“How was Vegas?” She said as she pulled out a bill from The Bellagio out of her purse.
“Fine! You caught me! I went to Vegas woopty fucking doo! Big deal!!” He shouted.
“It is a big deal! YOU LIED TO ME!”
“OH SO IT’S OKAY FOR YOU TO LIE ABOUT FUCKING SOME WAITER!!”
“It was a bartender.” Joe said as he raised his hand.
“You’re right thanks Joe. IT’S OKAY FOR YOU TO FUCK BARTENDERS?!!?!”
“Go choke on a piece of shit Patrick.”
“Go choke on the bartender’s cock Jenna but I doubt that will happen since it’s probably big as my pinky!!”
Everyone’s mouths hit the floor. Pete Andy and Joe were so proud of their boy.
“Fellas accompany me for dinner?” Patrick said calmly.
“Sure.” They all said.
“Enjoy you’re bartender with the pinky sized dick Jenna.” Joe said to her.
“Eat my cock.”
“I KNEW IT!” Pete screamed as Patrick Joe and Andy roared with laughter.
Joe finished his food he grabbed his phone out of purse while he was in there he found a camera with pictures. From last night.
“HOLY FUCK BALLS!”
“What?” Patrick said as he laughed.
“I have like a hundred pictures from last night on my camera!” Joe said excitedly.
“Shit seriously?” Pete said as he grabbed the camera from Joe.
“WAIT!” Andy shouted as he quickly grabbed the camera from Pete. “Are we sure we want to see this?”
“Fuck yea man I want to see how I got in the hospital! Is that in there?”
“Yup.” Joe said as he laughed.
“Okay how about this we look at the pictures once and once only then we delete the evidence.” Patrick proposed.
They laid their eyes on the first picture and quickly regretted it.
“DEAR MOTHER OF GOD!”
Haha use your imagination. shrugs Hope you guys liked the story I sure did probably one of my favorites.
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