Categories > Books > Harry Potter > The Problem With Polyjuice
Denial and Detention
0 reviewsSirius Black thinks he's got the perfect plan to get his best friend James Potter together with Lily Evans. But when the plan doesn't go accordingly, chaos, confusion and mixed messages reign the h...
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The Problem With Polyjuice
Chapter One - Denial and Detention
"So Lily," Alice Byrne began, fixing her eyes on her best friend, "what just happened with you and James in the Common Room?"
"What do you mean?" Lily answered, not looking up from the book she was reading.
"You know what I mean! You and James looked like you were actually having a civil conversation!"
"Well what's so wrong with that? It's not like we've never spoken before." She looked up when she heard Alice snort in derision.
"Spoken, yeah right, more like shouted, yelled and screamed!"
"Who's Lily been screaming at now?" Lily's other friend, Dorcas Meadows entered the dormitory just then, drying her short brown hair on a towel, "Potter?"
"That's just it," Alice said, "Lily and James just had a civil conversation. No shouting, no insults, no cursing, nothing!"
Dorcas frowned, and then looked disbelievingly between her friends.
"Seriously? And he didn't ask her out either?"
"Nope. Great isn't it?" Alice smiled. "Maybe she'll finally admit she likes him?"
"Will you stop talking about me as if I'm not here?" Lily exclaimed exasperatedly. "I really don't see what's so shocking about the fact that Potter and I had a conversation! And it wasn't even a particularly interesting conversation at that - he just wanted to finalise the details about the next Hogsmeade weekend with me. Not like that Dorcas! I'm Head Girl and he's Head Boy, we have to talk. And, for the record, I don't like him!"
"But-" Alice began, before being interrupted by Lily.
"I don't want to hear it."
"If you'd just-"
"No, Dorcas! Just drop it, okay? I'm trying to read my book." She waved the Potions textbook at her friends to demonstrate her point, and then settled back onto her bed to finish the chapter.
Dorcas shot her an amused look, and motioned to Alice to leave the dormitory.
"Still convinced she likes James?" Alice asked as they descended the stairs leading to the Common room.
"Yes. Notice how once you get onto the topic of James she goes on for ages?"
"I know, but that's usually just about how much she hates him."
"Or, she does like him and is trying to convince herself she doesn't by badmouthing him at every chance she gets."
"That's logical," Alice replied sarcastically, then sighed, "but I guess that's Lily."
*
Sirius Black was having a good day. He'd bagged a date with that gorgeous Sixth Year, Emmeline Vance, Professor McGonagall had actually complimented him on an essay well written (something that did not happen very often in the world of Sirius Black), and he hadn't even got into any fights!
'Yep,' he thought, 'all in all it's been a good day'. He grinned, congratulating himself on a day well spent, sauntering along the corridor towards the Great Hall where dinner was soon to be served.
Unfortunately, Sirius' day was about to go downhill very rapidly, and it started when he saw the seventh-year Slytherin Severus Snape nearing him from the opposite direction.
Sirius wasn't sure what it was about Snape that got him going - other than the fact he was a slimy git. He supposed it might be the hooked nose, or the greasy hair, or simply the fact he was an evil human-being, but there stood the fact that Sirius couldn't stand him. Not many people could.
He smirked as Snape got nearer, and decided that he would round off his excellent day with a bit of Snape-baiting.
"All right Snivellus?" he said jovially as Snape passed him. The Slytherin ignored him and continued down the corridor. "What? You're not going to stay and chat? You wound me Snivellus!"
Snape turned around and scowled at Sirius, stalking up to him and leaning close to his face.
"If you knew what was good for you, you'd shut up Black." Snape muttered.
"If you knew what was good for you Snivellus, you'd brush your teeth in the morning. Wouldn't hurt to wash your hair either." Sirius smirked, holding his nose.
"Is that the best you've got?" Snape asked, stepping back and glaring disdainfully at Sirius, "An eight-year-old could come up with better insults than that."
Sirius sighed. "As much as it pains me to say it Snivellus, you're right. An eight-year-old could come up with better insults. So how about if we stop this childish banter, and I get on with hexing you?"
Sirius pulled out his wand and pointed it at Snape. Just as quickly, Snape took his wand out, training it on Sirius.
"Well, Black? Are you just going to stand there?"
Sirius aimed his wand and muttered a spell, at the same time as Snape cast his first hex.
"Palmado!"
"Cassucanso!"
That seemed to be the cue for the two boys to completely lose it. Snape now sported a broken and bloody nose, and Sirius was pretty sure his kneecap was damaged in some way.
Spells and hexes shot between the two, and when Sirius had time to consider, he thought he was coming out of it better. Along with the broken nose, Snape now had a cut lip and black eye to match.
He heard Snape cast another spell, and dodged out of the way, bumping into somebody.
"WHAT is going on here?" shouted the person he'd bumped into. It was Professor McGonagall.
Sirius grimaced, and turned to face the deputy-headmistress. He smiled weakly, "Hi Professor..."
*
James Potter looked up as his best friend slumped into the chair opposite him, a scowl on his face.
"Where were you during dinner?" he asked, "and why is your shirt collar torn?"
"I got into a fight with Snape. McGonagall caught us."
"Bad luck. Suppose you've got detention then?"
"Yep."
"Lost many points?"
"Fifty."
"Ouch. Y'know, Evans is going to kill you. She just finished earning back the last fifty you lost last week."
Sirius shrugged. "I don't care what Evans thinks."
"Well in case you hadn't noticed, I do. And when you do something stupid, even if I'm not involved, she usually ends up blaming me too." James sighed.
"She still not receptive to the James Potter charm then?"
"Nope. I'm beginning to think she never will be either."
"You just need to change your game-plan. So far, nothing you've done has worked. Maybe I should talk to her?"
"Don't you dare Sirius! I can only imagine how bad that conversation would be." James looked panicked, and Sirius chuckled.
"I was only joking mate, don't get so worked up."
"Sorry Padfoot, but I really like her. At this point, I'd do anything to convince her to give me a chance!"
"I still think I could talk her round. No one can resist Sirius Black. Not even Miss Lily Evans."
"Please Sirius, don't say or do anything to her." James said.
Sirius said nothing, but stared contemplatively into the fire.
*
"Hey Lily."
Lily looked up when she heard someone address her, but frowned when she saw who it was.
"Oh, it's you. What do you want Potter?"
"Do I have to have a reason to talk to you?"
"Usually."
"Maybe I just like your company." James said, making himself comfortable at the table Lily was sitting at in the library.
"Not likely. You're James Potter. You've got to have some ulterior motive."
He didn't say anything, just stared at her speculatively.
"What?" she asked irritably, "do I have ink on my face or something?"
"I was just thinking how pretty you looked." It took awhile for James' brain to catch up with what his mouth had said, but when he did, he winced, and waited for the inevitable blow.
But nothing happened, and when he looked at Lily, he was surprised to see she was blushing faintly, and staring into the middle distance.
James frowned, confused over her reaction, and then decided to leave her to her thoughts. He stood up to go, but put his hand onto her shoulder.
"Night Evans."
*
Lily jumped as she felt the gentle pressure of James' hand on her shoulder.
"Night Evans."
She didn't acknowledge him, choosing to wait until he'd left the library before she buried her head in her hands.
Ever since that night, a week ago now, that Alice and Dorcas had suggested, no, insinuated that she might like James Potter, she couldn't get him out of her head. He seemed to be everywhere she turned - in classes, at mealtimes in the Great Hall, in the Common Room. And just now, in the library, where she'd thought she would have been able to escape him, he had to turn up and tell her he thought she was pretty. And she'd blushed!
She groaned. She didn't like James Potter. She wouldn't like James Potter. It wasn't possible. There was no way she was going to fancy James Potter. And that was that.
*
Sirius was not having fun. Chatting up girls was fun. Pranking Slytherins was fun. Consuming copious amounts of alcohol was fun. This was not fun.
It was Friday night, and Sirius was in detention. Professor McGonagall had thought it would be a good idea for the two boys to serve detention in the library. Sorting books. Sirius could not think of anything more boring. This sort of detention would be more suited to Remus, but for Sirius it was torture. And they weren't allowed to leave until all the books that had been checked out that month and returned were back on the shelves in the correct place.
Some of the books however, required Sirius to go into the restricted section, and for a boy like Sirius, this was a great temptation indeed. He didn't have much interest in books, but he knew that the books in the restricted section were restricted for a reason. And so, when he had found enough books from the restricted section to make a prolonged amount of time there seem less suspicious, he passed into the roped-off area of books.
Having finished returning the books to the correct place on the shelves, he began to browse through some of the more dangerous looking volumes.
Passing over 1001 Ways to Revenge an Errant Lover and How to Kill Someone Without Arousing Suspicion, his eyes landed on the mouldy looking tome, Moste Potente Potions.
Curiosity piqued, he heaved the hefty book from the shelf, sank down to the floor and began to leaf through it, though not before checking to see if Madam Salter, the decrepit librarian was anywhere near.
Seeing that the coast was clear, he looked at some of the different potions displayed in the book. Some of them looked particularly nasty, such as the 'Ferretosus Potion', which, upon closer inspection was nothing to do with ferrets, but a potion that turned a persons muscle into stone. Another potion that Sirius wouldn't be attempting any time soon was one that changed your gender, permanently. As much as Sirius would like to understand girls, he didn't think he'd like to be one.
On the next page, Sirius saw a potion that he remembered hearing mention of in one of his lessons a couple of years ago. It was the Polyjuice Potion, and as he read through the list of ingredients and instructions, a plan began to form in his mind, a plan, which if successful, would make James very happy. Very happy indeed.
A/N: So that was chapter one. Just what is Sirius' plan? Will Lily admit her feelings to herself? Find out next chapter! Please leave a review, and thanks for reading!
Chapter One - Denial and Detention
"So Lily," Alice Byrne began, fixing her eyes on her best friend, "what just happened with you and James in the Common Room?"
"What do you mean?" Lily answered, not looking up from the book she was reading.
"You know what I mean! You and James looked like you were actually having a civil conversation!"
"Well what's so wrong with that? It's not like we've never spoken before." She looked up when she heard Alice snort in derision.
"Spoken, yeah right, more like shouted, yelled and screamed!"
"Who's Lily been screaming at now?" Lily's other friend, Dorcas Meadows entered the dormitory just then, drying her short brown hair on a towel, "Potter?"
"That's just it," Alice said, "Lily and James just had a civil conversation. No shouting, no insults, no cursing, nothing!"
Dorcas frowned, and then looked disbelievingly between her friends.
"Seriously? And he didn't ask her out either?"
"Nope. Great isn't it?" Alice smiled. "Maybe she'll finally admit she likes him?"
"Will you stop talking about me as if I'm not here?" Lily exclaimed exasperatedly. "I really don't see what's so shocking about the fact that Potter and I had a conversation! And it wasn't even a particularly interesting conversation at that - he just wanted to finalise the details about the next Hogsmeade weekend with me. Not like that Dorcas! I'm Head Girl and he's Head Boy, we have to talk. And, for the record, I don't like him!"
"But-" Alice began, before being interrupted by Lily.
"I don't want to hear it."
"If you'd just-"
"No, Dorcas! Just drop it, okay? I'm trying to read my book." She waved the Potions textbook at her friends to demonstrate her point, and then settled back onto her bed to finish the chapter.
Dorcas shot her an amused look, and motioned to Alice to leave the dormitory.
"Still convinced she likes James?" Alice asked as they descended the stairs leading to the Common room.
"Yes. Notice how once you get onto the topic of James she goes on for ages?"
"I know, but that's usually just about how much she hates him."
"Or, she does like him and is trying to convince herself she doesn't by badmouthing him at every chance she gets."
"That's logical," Alice replied sarcastically, then sighed, "but I guess that's Lily."
*
Sirius Black was having a good day. He'd bagged a date with that gorgeous Sixth Year, Emmeline Vance, Professor McGonagall had actually complimented him on an essay well written (something that did not happen very often in the world of Sirius Black), and he hadn't even got into any fights!
'Yep,' he thought, 'all in all it's been a good day'. He grinned, congratulating himself on a day well spent, sauntering along the corridor towards the Great Hall where dinner was soon to be served.
Unfortunately, Sirius' day was about to go downhill very rapidly, and it started when he saw the seventh-year Slytherin Severus Snape nearing him from the opposite direction.
Sirius wasn't sure what it was about Snape that got him going - other than the fact he was a slimy git. He supposed it might be the hooked nose, or the greasy hair, or simply the fact he was an evil human-being, but there stood the fact that Sirius couldn't stand him. Not many people could.
He smirked as Snape got nearer, and decided that he would round off his excellent day with a bit of Snape-baiting.
"All right Snivellus?" he said jovially as Snape passed him. The Slytherin ignored him and continued down the corridor. "What? You're not going to stay and chat? You wound me Snivellus!"
Snape turned around and scowled at Sirius, stalking up to him and leaning close to his face.
"If you knew what was good for you, you'd shut up Black." Snape muttered.
"If you knew what was good for you Snivellus, you'd brush your teeth in the morning. Wouldn't hurt to wash your hair either." Sirius smirked, holding his nose.
"Is that the best you've got?" Snape asked, stepping back and glaring disdainfully at Sirius, "An eight-year-old could come up with better insults than that."
Sirius sighed. "As much as it pains me to say it Snivellus, you're right. An eight-year-old could come up with better insults. So how about if we stop this childish banter, and I get on with hexing you?"
Sirius pulled out his wand and pointed it at Snape. Just as quickly, Snape took his wand out, training it on Sirius.
"Well, Black? Are you just going to stand there?"
Sirius aimed his wand and muttered a spell, at the same time as Snape cast his first hex.
"Palmado!"
"Cassucanso!"
That seemed to be the cue for the two boys to completely lose it. Snape now sported a broken and bloody nose, and Sirius was pretty sure his kneecap was damaged in some way.
Spells and hexes shot between the two, and when Sirius had time to consider, he thought he was coming out of it better. Along with the broken nose, Snape now had a cut lip and black eye to match.
He heard Snape cast another spell, and dodged out of the way, bumping into somebody.
"WHAT is going on here?" shouted the person he'd bumped into. It was Professor McGonagall.
Sirius grimaced, and turned to face the deputy-headmistress. He smiled weakly, "Hi Professor..."
*
James Potter looked up as his best friend slumped into the chair opposite him, a scowl on his face.
"Where were you during dinner?" he asked, "and why is your shirt collar torn?"
"I got into a fight with Snape. McGonagall caught us."
"Bad luck. Suppose you've got detention then?"
"Yep."
"Lost many points?"
"Fifty."
"Ouch. Y'know, Evans is going to kill you. She just finished earning back the last fifty you lost last week."
Sirius shrugged. "I don't care what Evans thinks."
"Well in case you hadn't noticed, I do. And when you do something stupid, even if I'm not involved, she usually ends up blaming me too." James sighed.
"She still not receptive to the James Potter charm then?"
"Nope. I'm beginning to think she never will be either."
"You just need to change your game-plan. So far, nothing you've done has worked. Maybe I should talk to her?"
"Don't you dare Sirius! I can only imagine how bad that conversation would be." James looked panicked, and Sirius chuckled.
"I was only joking mate, don't get so worked up."
"Sorry Padfoot, but I really like her. At this point, I'd do anything to convince her to give me a chance!"
"I still think I could talk her round. No one can resist Sirius Black. Not even Miss Lily Evans."
"Please Sirius, don't say or do anything to her." James said.
Sirius said nothing, but stared contemplatively into the fire.
*
"Hey Lily."
Lily looked up when she heard someone address her, but frowned when she saw who it was.
"Oh, it's you. What do you want Potter?"
"Do I have to have a reason to talk to you?"
"Usually."
"Maybe I just like your company." James said, making himself comfortable at the table Lily was sitting at in the library.
"Not likely. You're James Potter. You've got to have some ulterior motive."
He didn't say anything, just stared at her speculatively.
"What?" she asked irritably, "do I have ink on my face or something?"
"I was just thinking how pretty you looked." It took awhile for James' brain to catch up with what his mouth had said, but when he did, he winced, and waited for the inevitable blow.
But nothing happened, and when he looked at Lily, he was surprised to see she was blushing faintly, and staring into the middle distance.
James frowned, confused over her reaction, and then decided to leave her to her thoughts. He stood up to go, but put his hand onto her shoulder.
"Night Evans."
*
Lily jumped as she felt the gentle pressure of James' hand on her shoulder.
"Night Evans."
She didn't acknowledge him, choosing to wait until he'd left the library before she buried her head in her hands.
Ever since that night, a week ago now, that Alice and Dorcas had suggested, no, insinuated that she might like James Potter, she couldn't get him out of her head. He seemed to be everywhere she turned - in classes, at mealtimes in the Great Hall, in the Common Room. And just now, in the library, where she'd thought she would have been able to escape him, he had to turn up and tell her he thought she was pretty. And she'd blushed!
She groaned. She didn't like James Potter. She wouldn't like James Potter. It wasn't possible. There was no way she was going to fancy James Potter. And that was that.
*
Sirius was not having fun. Chatting up girls was fun. Pranking Slytherins was fun. Consuming copious amounts of alcohol was fun. This was not fun.
It was Friday night, and Sirius was in detention. Professor McGonagall had thought it would be a good idea for the two boys to serve detention in the library. Sorting books. Sirius could not think of anything more boring. This sort of detention would be more suited to Remus, but for Sirius it was torture. And they weren't allowed to leave until all the books that had been checked out that month and returned were back on the shelves in the correct place.
Some of the books however, required Sirius to go into the restricted section, and for a boy like Sirius, this was a great temptation indeed. He didn't have much interest in books, but he knew that the books in the restricted section were restricted for a reason. And so, when he had found enough books from the restricted section to make a prolonged amount of time there seem less suspicious, he passed into the roped-off area of books.
Having finished returning the books to the correct place on the shelves, he began to browse through some of the more dangerous looking volumes.
Passing over 1001 Ways to Revenge an Errant Lover and How to Kill Someone Without Arousing Suspicion, his eyes landed on the mouldy looking tome, Moste Potente Potions.
Curiosity piqued, he heaved the hefty book from the shelf, sank down to the floor and began to leaf through it, though not before checking to see if Madam Salter, the decrepit librarian was anywhere near.
Seeing that the coast was clear, he looked at some of the different potions displayed in the book. Some of them looked particularly nasty, such as the 'Ferretosus Potion', which, upon closer inspection was nothing to do with ferrets, but a potion that turned a persons muscle into stone. Another potion that Sirius wouldn't be attempting any time soon was one that changed your gender, permanently. As much as Sirius would like to understand girls, he didn't think he'd like to be one.
On the next page, Sirius saw a potion that he remembered hearing mention of in one of his lessons a couple of years ago. It was the Polyjuice Potion, and as he read through the list of ingredients and instructions, a plan began to form in his mind, a plan, which if successful, would make James very happy. Very happy indeed.
A/N: So that was chapter one. Just what is Sirius' plan? Will Lily admit her feelings to herself? Find out next chapter! Please leave a review, and thanks for reading!
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