Categories > Books > Harry Potter > The Problem With Polyjuice

In Which Sirius Is An Idiot

by ducktheduck 2 reviews

Sirius Black thinks he's got the perfect plan to get his best friend James Potter together with Lily Evans. But when the plan doesn't go accordingly, chaos, confusion and mixed messages reign the h...

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor, Romance - Characters: James, Lily, Sirius - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2006-05-03 - Updated: 2006-05-04 - 1868 words

0Unrated
A/N: Well I'm back with the second chapter. In this chapter we find out what Sirius' plan is and things get a little messy. Enjoy!

The Problem With Polyjuice

Rating: PG-13/T

Chapter Two - In Which Sirius Is An Idiot

James Potter was driving Lily insane. And it wasn't because he was being an arrogant prat, or that he was hexing people randomly in the corridors. It was because he wasn't doing those things.

It had now been a month since what she had dubbed "The Revelation" that is, the night that Alice and Dorcas had told her she liked James Potter, and since then she had come to realise that they were right. And she hated herself for it.

Not because she didn't want to feel that way about him. Since she had realised she fancied him, she'd begun to notice more and more things to like him for. And it was driving her mad, because now she'd begun to take an interest, he seemed to be losing it. He hadn't asked her out once since the beginning of term, and it was now the middle of November.

At that present moment, it was six o' clock in the morning, and being unable to sleep, she was sitting in the common room, fighting an internal battle. One part of her wanted to march up to him and snog him in front of everybody, and the other told her to be rational and leave things as they were.

"Argh! Stupid Potter!" she said out loud.

"What have I done now?"

Lily jumped at the sound of the voice. Without even looking up, she knew it was James. She glanced up at him guiltily, to see him looking questioningly at her.

"Nothing, I..." her voice trailed off as she saw what James was wearing. Or rather what he wasn't wearing. Clad in only pyjama bottoms and nothing else, Lily felt her mouth go dry as she stared at him.

"Well?" he raised his eyebrow at her, and began to make his way over to where she was sitting.

"Uh..." Lily was shocked by herself. She wasn't the sort of girl who drooled over good looking men. But she couldn't deny that James' body was amazing.

He sat down on the sofa next to her, and she couldn't help the way her eyes were drawn to his torso.

"You going to tell me why you're shouting my name to the empty common room?"

"You haven't got a top on."

James chuckled, "Observant as ever Evans."

Lily blushed. She seemed to be doing that a lot lately when James was around.

"Um, no, you see what I meant to say was...well...hmm."

"I see. Well, just in case you wanted to know why I've not got a top on, I was hungry, and I remembered Sirius left some chocolate frogs down here last night. I thought I'd come and get them. And I couldn't be arsed to get dressed properly." James' voice had a teasing quality to it.

Lily had never felt more embarrassed in her life. She had just been...ogling James Potter's body, and then she couldn't form a coherent sentence. And so she reverted to doing what she knew best when he was around. Arguing.

"Why would you think I care?" she snapped.

"Well you did seem to be staring at me pretty hard," he said, as he unwrapped a chocolate frog.

"For your information, I wasn't staring, I was...I was..."

"Gaping? Gawking?" James supplied.

"Oh shut up Potter."

"Anything for you Lily," James smirked, then, "I'm off back to bed. See you in the morning!"

James started back towards the boys staircase, pausing only slightly to grin when Lily called after him.

"But it is the morning, you idiot!"

It had been a month since Sirius had started to brew the Polyjuice Potion, and it was nearly ready. He only needed a part of the person he wanted to change into, and he would be able to put his brilliant plan into effect.

He waited until James, Remus and Peter had left the dorm for breakfast, before bounding over to James' bed and inspecting his pillow.

"Yes!" he exclaimed in triumph, as he saw what he wanted: a hair from James' head.

He picked it up, examining it, to make sure that it was one of James' hairs.

Just then, the door opened and Sirius jumped guiltily. It was Remus.

"I forgot my Charms book," he said, looking suspiciously at Sirius, "what are you doing?"

"Nothing. I'm not doing anything. Nuh-uh, nothing, zero, zilch."

"If you're sure," Remus said slowly, then, "come on, let's go get some breakfast."

Sirius nodded, and watched as Remus left the dorm. Then he hurried over to his bed, and carefully put the hair into an envelope, before following his friend down to the Great Hall.

Lily noticed that James had been sending her knowing glances and secret smiles all day. She knew it was because of her behaviour in the common room that morning, and she hated the fact that he had something over her.

He knew he had been the reason she had been rendered practically speechless, and this was what she hated. It would probably inflate his already humongous ego to giant proportions. She was startled from her reverie by the arrival of Alice and Dorcas in the dorm.

"What's up with you and James?" Dorcas asked, perching herself on the end of Lily's bed.

"Yeah, he's been giving you weird looks all day," agreed Alice, "did something happen between the two of you?"

"No! Nothing happened." Lily answered, a little too quickly.

Her friends looked at her with suspicion.

"C'mon Lils, I've been your friend long enough to know when you're lying."

"Honestly, nothing happened! Nothing that's important anyway."

"So something did happen?" Dorcas smiled slyly, "you kissed, didn't you?"

"No! All right, I'll tell you! But you won't find it interesting."

"We'll be the judge of that." Alice said.

And so Lily told them what had happened that morning in the common room, and when she had finished, they were just sitting there, staring at her.

"See? I told you it was nothing to crow about." she said.

"What do you mean?" Alice cried gleefully, "this is great! He might know that you like him."

"I don't like him! How many times do I have to tell you two?"

"There's no point denying your feelings Lily," Dorcas said, "we know you fancy him."

Lily looked between her two friends, and decided they were right. What was the point of hiding it?

"All right! I do fancy him! A lot!" She groaned when she saw the look Dorcas and Alice gave each other, before they burst out laughing. "Don't laugh! What am I going to do about it?"

"Do? You even have to ask? You're going to tell him." Alice replied, laughter in her voice.

"Oh no. No, I can't do that. Because then he'd know."

"Hence the point of telling him," Dorcas laughed.

"But what if I tell him and he throws it back in my face? What if he laughs, or tells me he finds me utterly repulsive?"

"Lils, he's been asking you to go out with him since fifth year. I think it's pretty safe to say he feels the same way."

"He hasn't asked me out this year."

"That doesn't mean he's stopped liking you." Dorcas replied.

"Maybe."

"Well? What're you waiting for? Go!" Alice urged, pushing her towards the door.

"I have to go now?" Lily moaned, resisting slightly.

"Yes! If you don't go and tell him now, you never will!"

"Fine, fine. I'll go. But if it goes badly, I'm blaming you."

Being James Potter was strange, Sirius decided, very strange. James was taller and thinner than he was, and it was weird wearing glasses (he'd nicked James' spare pair from his bedside table).

To put the plan into effect, he'd had to make sure James stayed away, and so he'd locked him in a broom cupboard. James was not going to be happy with him when Sirius let him out, but needs must.

Sirius had procured a thermos flask in which he had some Polyjuice Potion, just in case the plan took longer than, well, planned.

Just then, he noticed Lily coming towards him from the direction of the girls' staircase. She had a determined look on her face.

"Hi James," she smiled when she neared him, and Sirius had to think for a moment before he remembered that he was James. "Do you think we could talk?"

Sirius nodded. "Sure Lily." He waited for her to start talking.

"I meant in private?"

"Oh, right."

He followed her out of the portrait hole and into an empty classroom. She perched herself on one of the desks, and he sat down opposite.

"So Lily, did you know that they've rearranged the alphabet? They've put U and I together."

Lily frowned. "James, are you trying to chat me up?" she asked sceptically.

"Might be," Sirius replied confidently, but he was now thinking that maybe this hadn't been such a good idea. That chat up line usually worked on most of the girls he went out with. But, he reasoned, Lily's not most girls. He was about to make an excuse and run out to hide in the dorm until the potion wore off, but he couldn't, because Lily began to speak.

"James, I wanted to talk to you about what happened this morning in the common room," she paused, "well, not just what happened in the common room. I wanted to talk about us. I...well, I like you."

Sirius looked at her in shock. Even he, with his morals, knew that this was wrong. James was supposed to be hearing this not him. But he looked like James. This wasn't supposed to happen! Sirius started to panic. What should he do? He couldn't just leave now; Lily would think James had run out on her. He looked up at her, about to explain that he was Sirius, but she'd started speaking again.

"I know you've fancied me for a long time, and I was horrible to you! In fact, I don't know why I'm telling you this! You probably hate me. You know what, I'll just leave."

She turned to go. Sirius had to do something, he had to do something otherwise he'd be ruining James' chance with the girl of his dreams.

"Lily, wait!"

She stopped, and he turned her around by her shoulder, before pulling her towards him quickly, and kissing her.

It was only a quick kiss, and Sirius knew how wrong it was of him to do it, but he couldn't let his friend down.

When she pulled away from him, she smiled shyly.

"Goodnight James," she said, in a low voice, "we'll talk tomorrow." And then she left.

A/N: Ooh...and the trouble begins! Sorry this is quite short...I just needed to end it there. How is Sirius going to fix this? Find out next update, which again, shouldn't be too long, probably about a week. Thanks for reading, and review please!
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