Categories > Movies > Beautiful Thing > you're beautiful
You’re Beautiful
I remember the first time I met you. I was out on my usual morning walk near the back of my house. It was one of those cold winter mornings that I loved; where the sun shone brightly through the trees and glistened on the freshly fallen snow. My feet crunched along the path, creating the first footprints of the day as I strayed from the gravel and made my way through the vast snowy field to my left. I loved these walks… the first spark of sunlight, the soft imprints in the snow, the cool wind that danced around me- it was beauty where you wouldn’t find it anywhere else.
And it was there in that overwhelming beauty that I saw you. You were sitting at the same bench I usually stop at…just sitting, staring out into the vast expanse of snow-tipped trees that unfolded in front of you. I sat down silently next to you, almost afraid to say anything. I stole a glance, desperately curious to put a face to the presence.
From the moment I saw your face, I felt drawn to it. Your icy blue eyes sparkled in the morning sunlight; the contrast of your dark scruffy hair against your pale skin sent a surge of butterflies through my body, fluttering ferociously, my heart racing.
You didn’t look back at me… but you were so beautiful I could barely take my eyes off you- as cliché as it was to admit. There was something about you- and aura, an atmosphere- that told me you weren’t from around here. Simply the fact you allowed me to sit next to you without flinching or questioning it told me you were unaware of the danger in this neighbourhood. May6be it was for that reason-my fear for your safety- (or maybe it was simply the feeling you sent pulsing through my veins when those icy eyes met my lonely pupils) that caused the words to flow freely from my mouth and cut the silence.
“Are you alright?”
You seemed less surprised that I was at my sudden outburst. You didn’t reply, but when you looked at me again, those captivating blue eyes were drowning in pain. I felt the overwhelming urge to help you, to heal the pain and cure the loneliness. Although it scared me. It was like looking in a mirror, you were a reflection of my pain, my loneliness.
*
As I look back on it now, I realize what a risk I took, inviting you home with me. I didn’t even know your name. Truth was, by that point in my life, I had little concern for my own safety. I had nothing to be scared of leaving behind. I had grown too scared to live, yet too scared to die. So inviting a beautiful stranger back to my empty house seemed to be a suitable way of filling the void I was so desperate to fill.
*
“Do you have somewhere to stay?”
You laughed.
It was music to my ears, warmed my heart… I just couldn’t explain it. I hadn’t heard the sound of laughter in such a long time; I had almost forgotten it existed. You told me you never stayed anywhere very long but you liked to follow the snow. You told me you loved everything about it; the soft blanket on the ground, the way it floated from the sky, the icy touch on your skin. You said it was clear evidence that that nothing is ever what it seems. Your voice was deep and husky, almost as if you had spent so long in the cold that what would have been a soft voice, has frozen over time and become rough and broken… a reflection of how I felt.
I insisted you stayed with me until you had somewhere else to go and you obliged with a soft smile, showing off two dimples on your rosy cheeks and giving your face a porcelain doll resemblance in the spotlight of the morning sun.
I stood up to begin the return to my house. You followed slowly behind me, floating like a feather through the cool breeze, savouring everything around you as if every moment was your last.
We passed the large frozen lake and you stopped to gaze at it, your eyes full of fascination at the icy mirrored surface. I didn’t care much for that lake. There had been too many accidents cause by the innocent illusion of the ice and it sent uneasy shivers through my body to lay my eyes upon it. However you seemed glued to it and I didn’t want to interrupt you. You said its beauty was its downfall and that’s what makes an accident like falling through the ice so tragic. You were right.
*
I showed you around the house I called ‘home’ although there wasn’t much to show you, I felt it was somewhat polite to do so anyway. I watched as you delicately traced every little detail with your fingers; the doors, the walls, the face-down photographs. I introduced you to one of my spare rooms that you could sleep in and explained I had to leave for work but you were welcome to settle in and make yourself at home.
I showered and dressed for my monotonous job and noticed you were sitting quietly outside on the decking as I left.
*
When I returned, you didn’t appear to have moved. You were still positioned peacefully outside, a beautifully content smile on your dace, gazing out at the view of the lake. I sat next to you and we talked- only the odd few words –but enjoyed each other’s company. And that was the routine.
*
We spent day after day together. Then the days turned to weeks and the weeks to months. I always knew where to find you if you weren’t home- the lake. We spent the days I wasn’t working by the edge of the water and I grew fond of it. We saw the ice melt into summer, the blossoms grew into summer; the water rose over autumn and froze again by winter.
You told me about the places you had been to, the beauty you had seen. There were so many things I wanted to ask you but you never replied with an answer. Nothing you said related to each other but everything told me a little bit more about you. I envied you. I envied everything you had seen and done but most of all, I envied the way you saw everything…you never once took a single thing for granted. Your outlook never ceased to amaze me. You were always awake when I fell asleep and awake when I woke up. You said you never wanted to miss a crucial part of life- the night. You told me nighttime was the most amazing experience you could ever witness.
You wanted to celebrate all the holidays as fully as possible and as it seemed so important to you, I agreed. On Valentine’s Day, I woke to find the house full of red roses. You informed there were ten thousand in total and added that Valentine’s Day should be about more than couples; it should be about love of all kinds- including friendship. During the Easter weekend, we rolled eggs down the hill by the lake and ran after them; laughing until our insides hurt…I had never felt so alive that I did with you. You took me camping on Halloween. We dressed up as gruesome and terrifying as we could and set up a tent in the same place we had first met. We sat on the bench around the comforting glow of a fire and I watched the orange flames flicker in your eyes as you told me the most chilling stories you could think of. No matter how horrifying the stories were…I felt safe while you were around. Bonfire night was one of the most beautiful. We huddled under a blanket on top of that hill and watched the fireworks splash the sky in a rainbow of colours. It was that night, under the blanket of stars and sparks of colour…you told me the words that I had waited my whole life for someone- anyone –to tell me…the words I wished I wished I believed.
“You’re beautiful”
In that moment with you, I had never felt more beautiful.
When snow returned and Christmas was on it’s way…you began to change. You became more reserved and although I knew why, I refused to listen. From the beginning you had told me everyday that everyone has their end. And when it’s someone’s end, you have to accept it and remember all you’re supposed to about the time they spent with you. I had never understood properly what you meant until you reached your ‘end’.
It was Boxing Day and only twenty four hours previous, you had cooked me a full Christmas dinner and filled my house with every decoration imaginable. I woke to find an empty echo filling the house. I didn’t know why or how…but I knew it was time. I found you at the lake and silently took my seat next to you…it wasn’t the day for small talk. We sat together just like we had done the day we met. Everything was the same, yet completely different. The air was; the wind gnawed at thhe exposed skin on my face, frost bit at my fingertips and the falling snow thundered against my back. You rose to your feet and held out your hand to me. I took it and stood facing you, my eyes meeting yours. It was strange to thing that although it almost seemed like we had just met…this time, I knew so much more about you. I knew that the sun’s reflection of the lake in your eyes made them glitter like crystals. I knew what that beautiful dimpled smile, I kknew what made you frown with concentration. I knew your past, I knew your future. I understood.
You softly kissed my cheek and brought your lips to my ear in barely a whisper.
“The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything but they make the most of everything.”
I understood.
You stepped out onto the frozen surface of the lake, carefully putting one foot in front of the other until you reached the centre. I knew what was going to happen, I knew if I tried to stop you, I would fall through and I wouldn’t reach you in time. You looked up at the dazzling morning sunlight as you jumped into the sky, as high as you could. For that split second, time froze.
You looked down to your feet, seeing your reflection in the ice.
My reflection. My feet.
They hit the surface and I watched all around me as the cracks formed, waiting to shatter, waiting to break.
I saw my icy blue eyes staring back at me.
And crash.
I remember the first time I met you. I was out on my usual morning walk near the back of my house. It was one of those cold winter mornings that I loved; where the sun shone brightly through the trees and glistened on the freshly fallen snow. My feet crunched along the path, creating the first footprints of the day as I strayed from the gravel and made my way through the vast snowy field to my left. I loved these walks… the first spark of sunlight, the soft imprints in the snow, the cool wind that danced around me- it was beauty where you wouldn’t find it anywhere else.
And it was there in that overwhelming beauty that I saw you. You were sitting at the same bench I usually stop at…just sitting, staring out into the vast expanse of snow-tipped trees that unfolded in front of you. I sat down silently next to you, almost afraid to say anything. I stole a glance, desperately curious to put a face to the presence.
From the moment I saw your face, I felt drawn to it. Your icy blue eyes sparkled in the morning sunlight; the contrast of your dark scruffy hair against your pale skin sent a surge of butterflies through my body, fluttering ferociously, my heart racing.
You didn’t look back at me… but you were so beautiful I could barely take my eyes off you- as cliché as it was to admit. There was something about you- and aura, an atmosphere- that told me you weren’t from around here. Simply the fact you allowed me to sit next to you without flinching or questioning it told me you were unaware of the danger in this neighbourhood. May6be it was for that reason-my fear for your safety- (or maybe it was simply the feeling you sent pulsing through my veins when those icy eyes met my lonely pupils) that caused the words to flow freely from my mouth and cut the silence.
“Are you alright?”
You seemed less surprised that I was at my sudden outburst. You didn’t reply, but when you looked at me again, those captivating blue eyes were drowning in pain. I felt the overwhelming urge to help you, to heal the pain and cure the loneliness. Although it scared me. It was like looking in a mirror, you were a reflection of my pain, my loneliness.
*
As I look back on it now, I realize what a risk I took, inviting you home with me. I didn’t even know your name. Truth was, by that point in my life, I had little concern for my own safety. I had nothing to be scared of leaving behind. I had grown too scared to live, yet too scared to die. So inviting a beautiful stranger back to my empty house seemed to be a suitable way of filling the void I was so desperate to fill.
*
“Do you have somewhere to stay?”
You laughed.
It was music to my ears, warmed my heart… I just couldn’t explain it. I hadn’t heard the sound of laughter in such a long time; I had almost forgotten it existed. You told me you never stayed anywhere very long but you liked to follow the snow. You told me you loved everything about it; the soft blanket on the ground, the way it floated from the sky, the icy touch on your skin. You said it was clear evidence that that nothing is ever what it seems. Your voice was deep and husky, almost as if you had spent so long in the cold that what would have been a soft voice, has frozen over time and become rough and broken… a reflection of how I felt.
I insisted you stayed with me until you had somewhere else to go and you obliged with a soft smile, showing off two dimples on your rosy cheeks and giving your face a porcelain doll resemblance in the spotlight of the morning sun.
I stood up to begin the return to my house. You followed slowly behind me, floating like a feather through the cool breeze, savouring everything around you as if every moment was your last.
We passed the large frozen lake and you stopped to gaze at it, your eyes full of fascination at the icy mirrored surface. I didn’t care much for that lake. There had been too many accidents cause by the innocent illusion of the ice and it sent uneasy shivers through my body to lay my eyes upon it. However you seemed glued to it and I didn’t want to interrupt you. You said its beauty was its downfall and that’s what makes an accident like falling through the ice so tragic. You were right.
*
I showed you around the house I called ‘home’ although there wasn’t much to show you, I felt it was somewhat polite to do so anyway. I watched as you delicately traced every little detail with your fingers; the doors, the walls, the face-down photographs. I introduced you to one of my spare rooms that you could sleep in and explained I had to leave for work but you were welcome to settle in and make yourself at home.
I showered and dressed for my monotonous job and noticed you were sitting quietly outside on the decking as I left.
*
When I returned, you didn’t appear to have moved. You were still positioned peacefully outside, a beautifully content smile on your dace, gazing out at the view of the lake. I sat next to you and we talked- only the odd few words –but enjoyed each other’s company. And that was the routine.
*
We spent day after day together. Then the days turned to weeks and the weeks to months. I always knew where to find you if you weren’t home- the lake. We spent the days I wasn’t working by the edge of the water and I grew fond of it. We saw the ice melt into summer, the blossoms grew into summer; the water rose over autumn and froze again by winter.
You told me about the places you had been to, the beauty you had seen. There were so many things I wanted to ask you but you never replied with an answer. Nothing you said related to each other but everything told me a little bit more about you. I envied you. I envied everything you had seen and done but most of all, I envied the way you saw everything…you never once took a single thing for granted. Your outlook never ceased to amaze me. You were always awake when I fell asleep and awake when I woke up. You said you never wanted to miss a crucial part of life- the night. You told me nighttime was the most amazing experience you could ever witness.
You wanted to celebrate all the holidays as fully as possible and as it seemed so important to you, I agreed. On Valentine’s Day, I woke to find the house full of red roses. You informed there were ten thousand in total and added that Valentine’s Day should be about more than couples; it should be about love of all kinds- including friendship. During the Easter weekend, we rolled eggs down the hill by the lake and ran after them; laughing until our insides hurt…I had never felt so alive that I did with you. You took me camping on Halloween. We dressed up as gruesome and terrifying as we could and set up a tent in the same place we had first met. We sat on the bench around the comforting glow of a fire and I watched the orange flames flicker in your eyes as you told me the most chilling stories you could think of. No matter how horrifying the stories were…I felt safe while you were around. Bonfire night was one of the most beautiful. We huddled under a blanket on top of that hill and watched the fireworks splash the sky in a rainbow of colours. It was that night, under the blanket of stars and sparks of colour…you told me the words that I had waited my whole life for someone- anyone –to tell me…the words I wished I wished I believed.
“You’re beautiful”
In that moment with you, I had never felt more beautiful.
When snow returned and Christmas was on it’s way…you began to change. You became more reserved and although I knew why, I refused to listen. From the beginning you had told me everyday that everyone has their end. And when it’s someone’s end, you have to accept it and remember all you’re supposed to about the time they spent with you. I had never understood properly what you meant until you reached your ‘end’.
It was Boxing Day and only twenty four hours previous, you had cooked me a full Christmas dinner and filled my house with every decoration imaginable. I woke to find an empty echo filling the house. I didn’t know why or how…but I knew it was time. I found you at the lake and silently took my seat next to you…it wasn’t the day for small talk. We sat together just like we had done the day we met. Everything was the same, yet completely different. The air was; the wind gnawed at thhe exposed skin on my face, frost bit at my fingertips and the falling snow thundered against my back. You rose to your feet and held out your hand to me. I took it and stood facing you, my eyes meeting yours. It was strange to thing that although it almost seemed like we had just met…this time, I knew so much more about you. I knew that the sun’s reflection of the lake in your eyes made them glitter like crystals. I knew what that beautiful dimpled smile, I kknew what made you frown with concentration. I knew your past, I knew your future. I understood.
You softly kissed my cheek and brought your lips to my ear in barely a whisper.
“The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything but they make the most of everything.”
I understood.
You stepped out onto the frozen surface of the lake, carefully putting one foot in front of the other until you reached the centre. I knew what was going to happen, I knew if I tried to stop you, I would fall through and I wouldn’t reach you in time. You looked up at the dazzling morning sunlight as you jumped into the sky, as high as you could. For that split second, time froze.
You looked down to your feet, seeing your reflection in the ice.
My reflection. My feet.
They hit the surface and I watched all around me as the cracks formed, waiting to shatter, waiting to break.
I saw my icy blue eyes staring back at me.
And crash.
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