FicWad

I waited for a while before I decided to go back to the house. Yumichika and Ikkaku were probably searching for me anyway, but I wasn't sure if I could even bear to look at Renji. Or Rukia, for that matter. I wanted to leave, but if I did, there would be no chance of getting a decent evaluation.
The house was dark except for Ichigo's room. I tiptoed up the stairs, hoping to hear someone talking, but all was silent. I could only feel three sources of pressure inside the room; Ichigo's, Rukia's, and one of his sister's. I paused at the door, wondering if I was supposed to be here.
The door cracked and Rukia's head peered around the corner. "Go to Orihime Inoue's," she snipped. "You'll stay there overnight."
"Oh...Um, thanks," I muttered, turning to go back down the stairs. I could feel her eyes watch me as I went, but I stopped. "Who is Orihime?"
"Two blocks down. Next to the park. You'll sense Rangiku."
The door shut tightly, and I plodded down the stairs. Of course I have to stay with Rangiku. Always. If this Orihime girl was anything like her, I was going to Konsô myself. I wondered if Renji or Tôshirô had done this on purpose, or maybe if it was Yumichika's sick way of teasing me.
It didn't matter either way. I wandered my way down the street slowly, wondering who was watching me. There was obviously someone monitoring me if I was being evaluated, but who, I wasn't sure. It was most likely a squad in the Second Company, watching me from the shadows.
This didn't unnerve me. If I was doing something wrong, they would've snatched me up before I could've even thought about it. So I must have been doing something right. And killing Wonderweiss had to give me extra points somehow--I mean, I virtually did that all by myself. I hacked him right down the center.
But if I was already irritating people, then I would definitely get a bad rap. A very bad rap. I had to be likable to be even a seat in a company. I had to be able to work with anyone and everyone, and not cause any problems within the company. I began to wonder if I was trying too hard. If I was too worried about being likable. But then again, if I stopped trying, it was possible that I would just piss everyone off.
As I made the second block, I began to tune in on Rangiku. Orihime apparently lived in an apartment, and not a nice one. It was a little junked out, but I could understand. She probably didn't have much. I'd been told that she didn't have any family and that she was incredibly attached to Ichigo.
I made my way up the stairs slowly. Would she like me? What did she look like? Everyone had told me about the beautiful Ryoka girl at least once. I didn't know if I could deal with both Orihime and Rangiku if she was as attractive as everyone made her out to be.
Before I could reach the door, Rangiku opened it. "Hi! You're staying with us, right?!" She reached out and snagged me by the wrist, dragging me into the apartment. "Orihime!! Michiru's here!" she called, dropping me in the floor next to the only piece of furniture in the living room; a coffee table.
Orihime peeked around the corner of the hallway. "Make her comfortable! I'll be there in a minute," she said. She looked pretty, yes, but I thought she looked a little like me. I didn't feel uncomfortable. Yet.
"You look tired!" Rangiku squealed, as if this was something she'd never seen before. "You can sleep in my bed. I don't mind."
I squirmed. "Um... I was just going to sleep on the floor-"
"No, that just won't do." She began to ramble for a momet, and I zoned out.
My heart hurt. I hadn't realized it, but it really did hurt. The conversation I'd just had with Renji was beginning to sink in, and I began to come to terms with the fact that I had ruined a relationship with a commanding officer. I would never feel comfortable with him again.
Rangiku's babbling stopped. "Hey. What's bothering you?" she asked.
Shocked, I couldn't bring myself to speak. I hadn't expected Rangiku to notice. "Just thinking," I clipped, shaking my head.
She propped her elbow up on the coffee table, leaning her head on her fist. "You're that chick that likes Renji. Did he say something mean to you? He can be such a stubborn block head sometimes, y'know..."
"He didn't do anything. And yes...that's me." Did everyone know about this? "How do you know?"
"Ikkaku told me. He said not to bother you about it, but I wanna know." She shifted, as if she thought she had to bribe me into telling her by looking attractive. "I want to help. If I can," she said, and her voice was serious.
I stared blankly. "You want to help me?"
"Of course. Girl-to-girl type thing. After all, if you promote, you'll be my equal. So, I wanna be friends."
"Okay...well, what do you want to know?" I asked. Her blue eyes were deeper than I expected and I felt wrong for judging her. I could feel now that she was intelligent, but I wondered if she realy was trying to be friends or if she was being conniving.
"What did he say to you? He knows. And I know that's why he wanted to walk with you."
I tugged at the hem of my shirt nervously.
"C'mon. You can tell me." She nudged me. "I don't want you to be miserable the whole time you're here."
I sighed. She either wanted good gossip or she was really concerned about me. Either way, it helped to have someone to talk to. "Ok...well, he just doesn't really want me around. He was nice about it but honestly I think I bother him..."
She scooted around to my back, scooping up handfulls of my hair. "Now that sounds a little harsh. Are you sure that's what he meant?" she asked. I could feel her separating my hair out, combing through it with her fingers. "I just don't see Renji being that insensitive. And besides, you haven't really bugged him about it. It's not like you hit on him or anything, right?"
"I didn't do anything like that. It's just...it's hard for me to deal with people to begin with, and when it's someone like him... I just freeze up. I can't speak."
She began to braid my hair slowly, pulling into tight plaits. "That's understandable. You can't be scared of everybody, sweetie. If you are and you get promoted, everyone will run you over. Which is a great way to lose your position."
"I know. I never expected to be what I am. I really didn't."
"And what is that?"
"...I didn't think I would be the top of my class. I didn't think I would ever be here, with you guys. It scares me, honestly."
She laughed. "Well, neither did I. But don't be scared of it. Embrace it. You have a lot of influence already, Michiru. Don't run away from it." She tugged at my hair continuously, humming quietly to herself.
"I think it just takes getting used to. But, well..."
"Renji doesn't help things, does he? Tell me what happened."
Her braiding was relaxing. I tried to settle, to get comfortable, and she helped immensely. "He knew. He tried to be nice. And I was too...I guess annoying. I feel like I was getting in the way. And I think that's what irritated him."
"He's not irritated, honey. He probably just doesn't know what to do with you. You probably intimidate him, in a way."
That was a shocker. "How do you figure this??"
"It's not every day that he gets to meet a hot girl that just might be stronger than him."
"But I'm not-"
She clamped a hand over my mouth. "Don't say it. Ever since you came into the Seireiti, my rep has been dwindling. You, little girl, are a sight to be held. Now, I'm not jealous or anything, but, you definitely have sway over the male population." She chuckled. "I'd hate for you to get stuck in the 11th Company."
"I used to clean their barracks."
"Oh yeah. Yumi told me. Well. Obviously Renji is just intimidated. And maybe this isn't something you should persue anyway, but really, I think he just doesn't know what to say."
Orihime appeared again, sitting gracefully at the coffee table. "Do you want a bow?" she asked Rangiku, who was nearly done with my hair. "I have purple."
Before I could protest, Rangiku agreed, and Orihime scrambled off for a bow.
"Anyway. I think you should talk to him about everything. And talk to Rukia. I heard what she did to you. I think it would help a lot if you went and forgave her."
"Why do you think that?"
"Because. Rukia and Renji have been best friends since who knows when. She was probably jealous that you were better than her and just wanted Renji's attention back. Cuz, let's face it, you really had him hooked. He was fascinated."
I shook my head. "I think he was just trying to be friendly."
"Michiru, we're gonna have to get you some confidence."
She was serious. And somehow, Rangiku being serious was scarier than her being goofy. Because she was WAAAAY more determined.
Orihime came back with a purple ribbon, sitting down with Rangiku to tie my hair. "You have such pretty hair, Ms. Michiru," she said politely. "I wish mine was that color."
"Really? It's really ostentatious," I told her. They both laughed.
"It's perfect on you, Michiru," said Rangiku. "Really. You'd look funny with any other color."
"I guess..."
Orihime and Rangiku babbled for a minute, pointing out things about my hair and wondering how they should style their hair. I pulled the braid over my shoulder, trying to free it of the collar of my shihakusho, when Rangiku noticed I wasn't out of my uniform yet.
"You don't have any clothes?"
It clicked as she said it. "I must've left them somewhere," I muttered, checking my pockets. "I had some..."
Orihime looked incredibly confused. "But you're wearing clothes."
"Human clothes, silly girl," Rangiku corrected her, scruffing her hair. "You are just too darn cute. Come on, Michiru, we'll find something in her closet."
She snatched me up, Orihime leading me toward what I assumed was her room.
There was absolutely nothing in her room except a small cot and a rug. The wall was cracked over the cot and there were marks in the ceiling that I guess was where rain leaked through. It was barren and nowhere near what a comfortable bedroom should've been, and Orihime didn't seem to mind. She threw her closet doors open as if they were the portal to a luxury botique.
"Do you like dresses? I have lots of dresses and skirts. Or jeans, or maybe shorts--" she started, Rangiku diving into the closet.
"Let's put her in jeans! She doesn't look like a skirt person!" Rangiku said, digging through the rows of clothes. "Do you have any skinny jeans??"
"I think so. Over here."
I watched for a moment, feeling a little like a dress up doll. Despite the situation, the confusion, the war...despite everything that was wrong at this particular point in time, they weren't bothered. They were happy. In their own little world, enjoying it while they could. I envied them.
They held out an outfit for me. "What do you think of this?" asked Orihime. "I think it's pretty!"
And it was. A black button up shirt, with half sleeves, and white skinny jeans. "I like it. Do you have a shirt to go under it?" I asked, noticing that the shirt wasn't meant to button all the way to the top.
Orihime blanked. "Um...no. I haven't ever worn this shirt," she said quietly.
"What's wrong with a little cleavage?? Wear it anyway!" Rangiku squealed. "I'll get some jewelry!"
She tossed the outfit at me, scurrying off into the hallway. Orihime stood there, looking blissfully naive. "Aren't you going to change?" she asked.
I squirmed. "Not here..."
"Oh! I'll turn around!" she chirped, turning her back to me and covering her eyes. I rolled my eyes, laughing at her. So incredibly innocent.
Hoping that Rangiku would take a while, I slid out of my shihakusho, letting the black fabric pool in the floor around my feet. It felt wrong, and I worried that Rangiku would come in and see my tattoos.
They weren't meant for anyone to see. They were hideous, covering my thighs and hips and stomach and even up my back. Tribal tattoos, from my days in Zaraki. They were almost like Renji's, but mroe feminine.
I began to slide on the jeans, finding that they fit mysteriously snug, and Rangiku burst into the room. "Here. Put this necklace--"
She silenced. Orihime turned around, concerned that something was wrong. She gasped, covering her mouth bashfully. "Sorry! I'm sorry, I'll go--"
"It's ok," I said, supressing a groan. I slid my arms into the shirt. "If you have questions, ask them now."
Rangiku strutted over to me, hands on her hips. "Did you get those because of him?"
"No. I didn't. It's a long, long story."
She studied my face while Orihime tried to piece it together. "Because of who?" she asked, peering over my shoulder. Rangiku never broke eye contact with me.
"Did you get them in Zaraki? With the Suzume gang?"
I nodded.
Orihime nudged me. "What are you talking about???" she whined, puzzled.
"Don't even think about judging me for it. It's something I'm not proud of and that I really don't want to talk about," I snipped.
Rangiku stared for a moment, murmuring to Orihime that it was nothing to worry about. Orihime took a step back, fiddling with the hem of her shirt, looking like a scolded puppy. I stood my ground against Rangiku and waited for her to say something.
Suddenly, she broke into the familiar goofy smile, handing me the jewelry. "Well. As long as it's something long gone, I won't worry about it!" she said.
I was skeptical. I knew Rangiku was typically pretty understanding, or at least she didn't care, but this seemed a little too accepting. But I played along, hooking the necklace she gave me around my neck.
It matched the one I had on already, silver and blue, and it hung low over my chest. Something else to distract people away from my face. She seemed happy with it, so I didn't object. Orihime was just as pleased and questioned if I wanted anything to eat.
After a quick snack, they curled up for bed. I found it odd that they slept back-to-back in Orihime's small cot, but I didn't bother them. I couldn't sleep anyway. There were too many things on my mind. I wandered through the apartment for hours, soaking up the blue-white moonlight.
I wondered who was looking at the moon with me.