FicWad

I squint at my equation on the white board. I let out a sigh, knowing that my math is, of course, correct, but the results suggest otherwise. I hear the door handle being turned and quickly erase the equation. With some of it left, I hear Leonard and Penny.
“Ooh, whatcha doing there MoonPie?” Penny says in her singsong voice.
I halt my erasing to shoot her a glare “I told you not to call me that!” I say through gritted teeth.

She giggles at my annoyance and plops into my spot. I give her another glare and she quickly slides over. I turn back to the remainder of my puzzling equation and erase the rest. Leonard holds up a bag of Thai food. I open my mouth in shock.
“Thai food? On a Friday?”
“Here we go.” Penny sighs.

“Look, Sheldon I’m sorry but I had pizza for lunch with Penny.”

I give him a glare “Leonard. Tonight is Friday. Friday is Pizza night. Why did you eat it for lunch if you knew it was going to be tonight’s dinner?” I scold “Were you under the impression that it was Monday night? Monday nights is Thai food night.”

Leonard rolls his eyes “No Sheldon. I did not think it was Monday, I know Monday is Thai night and I know Friday is Pizza night.”

“Then what’s your excuse?” I sit in my spot “Next you’re going to tell me you don’t want to play Vintage Video games!”

Leonard looks down and his Thai food “Well…”

I gasp “To my digression we have an ‘Anything can happen Thursday’, now there is a random Friday?”

Leonard shakes his head “No Sheldon, this wasn’t planned-“

“Oh but it was! You know the planned schedule and you destroyed it with your Thai food!”

Penny sighs “Sheldon, sweetie, it won’t happen again. I’m sorry I begged Leonard for something other than Pizza.”

I look over at her “As unhappy as that makes me, I’m sure you did not ‘hold a gun to his head’, as the saying goes.” I turn back to Leonard “He knew perfectly well what he was doing.” I snatch up my Thai food “If I have digestion discomfort, I blame you.”

Leonard nods and inhales his Monday food, on a Friday. I groan and eat mine.

I play Vintage Videos alone as Leonard and Penny coitus in her apartment. I sigh and pause the game, thinking about my perplexing equation.

I’m Sheldon Lee Cooper. I’m a homo Novus! I shouldn’t be subjected to such primitive desires! I have no emotional feelings towards anyone, except for Meemaw. This situation is getting out of hand. I turn of the Nintendo and go to my room to change into my Friday pajamas. I blink 100 times to get her blonde hair out of my mind. I fail. I sigh. I told Leonard not to talk to her! If he hadn’t I wouldn’t be dealing with this primitive dilemma. I close my eyes to get my REM. But of course a peaceful sleep is interrupted by thoughts of Penny.

I wake up at precisely 6:15am and go to the restroom. Only to discover it is occupied. I sigh.

Knock Knock Knock
“Leonard”
Knock Knock Knock
“Leonard”
Knock Knock Knock
“Leonard”

“It’s not Leonard!” Penny’s groggy voice announces.

I rush to Leonard’s room and knock.

Knock Knock Knock
“Leonard”
Knock Knock Knock
“Leonard”
Knock Knock Knock
“Leonard”

Leonard opens the door “What do you want Sheldon?”

“Penny is in the bathroom.”

“So?”

“So! Leonard it is 6:15! I am scheduled to go to the restroom at 6:15!”

He sighs and shuts the door in my face. Penny walks out of the bathroom with a frown.

“Awe sorry sweetie, I didn’t think you’d be up so early.”

“That’s the problem!” I exclaim “You didn’t think.”

She gives me a glare “Don’t start with me, Moonpie.”

I turn on my heel and storm into the restroom.

I have emotional feelings for that?