Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > The Penny Equation
I gather my dirty laundry and head for the Laundry room. It is almost 8:15, and as it is Saturday night, it is time for laundry. I walk down the stairs and arrive at exactly 8:15. I start to put my laundry into the washing machine as Penny walks in. I grit my teeth in annoyance at myself. She walks over and smiles at me. Her white teeth are amazing. I shake the thought out of my head. Even if I have developed some emotional feelings towards her, she is my roommate’s girlfriend. She gives me a curious look.
“Hey Sheldon.”
“Penny.” I nod at her.
She bites her lip before continuing “I’m very sorry about last night… and this morning.”
I nod “I appreciate your apology, you are forgiven.”
“Really? Just like that, no lecture?”
“Yes, Penny, now if you wouldn’t mind I’d like to continue with my laundry. It’s laundry night.”
She smiles “I know Saturday at 8:15.”
“Yes you know because of our feud.”
“No, I remember because of our feud.”
I nod “Yes, well as it is 8:17, I am three minutes off, did you need anything else?”
She chews on her soft, pink bottom lip “No… that’s all. Thanks for forgiving me… MoonPie.”
I glare at her as she runs out of the room “No one calls me MoonPie but Meemaw!”
I finish my laundry and head up to the apartment. I open the door and find a horrible sceen. Leonard is sprawled out on to the couch, mostly on my spot and Penny is straddling him. They don’t even notice my walking in. As they ‘make out’ Leonard slides his hand up the front of Penny’s Shirt. My mouth ajar in shock, I’m frozen. Leonard lifts the bottom of Penny’s shirt.
“HELLO!” I yell.
They jump and break apart, moving from my spot. I feel an annoying warm sting behind my eyes and rush to my room slamming my door. I hug my pillow and warm salty tears escape my eyes. I sob uncontrollably.
What is wrong with me?
Why do I care that Leonard and Penny wish to coitus?
Why do I care what Penny does at all?
And why do I want to murder Leonard?
I hear a soft knock on my door “Go away!”
“Sheldon, sweetie what’s the matter?” Penny asks opening the door.
I rub my eyes “Nothing.”
“Sheldon... I can see that you’re upset. I’m sorry we were in your spot!”
“You think this is about my spot? Though I am upset about that, it isn’t the reason I’m crying, Penny.”
She sits beside me “Then what’s the problem?”
“I’d rather not discuss in the near future… or the far future….”
She sighs “Please?”
I bite my lip “It seems I have come across something I believed impossible.”
“And what’s that?” she smiles supportively.
“It appears I have… fallen in love.” I look down at my hands which are resting in my lap.
“Awe that’s so sweet! Who is she?”
I frown at her.
“He? Hey whatever makes you happy.”
“It’s not a he it’s a she!” I snap “I’m just so angry! I feel so… vunerable.”
She smiles “That’s how love is.”
“I hate love.” I glare at the floor.
“So is it a scientist at work?”
I sigh “Hardly.”
“Hmm. Is she someone from the Comic Book Store?”
“Well, she’s been there.”
“Do I know her?”
I nod.
“Hmm…”
“Penny?”
“Yes?”
“Can you sing soft kitty?”
She smiles “That’s only for when you’re sick.”
“Love sickness is a kind of sick.” I point out.
She sighs, “OK, fine. Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty Little ball of fur. Happy Kitty Sleepy Kitty purr purr purr.”
I smile at her “Thank you.”
She smiles “Now who is it?”
“You’ll laugh at me.”
“No, I won’t Sheldon….”
I sigh “Fine… it’s… you.” I look up into her eyes, ready for more tears.
“Hey Sheldon.”
“Penny.” I nod at her.
She bites her lip before continuing “I’m very sorry about last night… and this morning.”
I nod “I appreciate your apology, you are forgiven.”
“Really? Just like that, no lecture?”
“Yes, Penny, now if you wouldn’t mind I’d like to continue with my laundry. It’s laundry night.”
She smiles “I know Saturday at 8:15.”
“Yes you know because of our feud.”
“No, I remember because of our feud.”
I nod “Yes, well as it is 8:17, I am three minutes off, did you need anything else?”
She chews on her soft, pink bottom lip “No… that’s all. Thanks for forgiving me… MoonPie.”
I glare at her as she runs out of the room “No one calls me MoonPie but Meemaw!”
I finish my laundry and head up to the apartment. I open the door and find a horrible sceen. Leonard is sprawled out on to the couch, mostly on my spot and Penny is straddling him. They don’t even notice my walking in. As they ‘make out’ Leonard slides his hand up the front of Penny’s Shirt. My mouth ajar in shock, I’m frozen. Leonard lifts the bottom of Penny’s shirt.
“HELLO!” I yell.
They jump and break apart, moving from my spot. I feel an annoying warm sting behind my eyes and rush to my room slamming my door. I hug my pillow and warm salty tears escape my eyes. I sob uncontrollably.
What is wrong with me?
Why do I care that Leonard and Penny wish to coitus?
Why do I care what Penny does at all?
And why do I want to murder Leonard?
I hear a soft knock on my door “Go away!”
“Sheldon, sweetie what’s the matter?” Penny asks opening the door.
I rub my eyes “Nothing.”
“Sheldon... I can see that you’re upset. I’m sorry we were in your spot!”
“You think this is about my spot? Though I am upset about that, it isn’t the reason I’m crying, Penny.”
She sits beside me “Then what’s the problem?”
“I’d rather not discuss in the near future… or the far future….”
She sighs “Please?”
I bite my lip “It seems I have come across something I believed impossible.”
“And what’s that?” she smiles supportively.
“It appears I have… fallen in love.” I look down at my hands which are resting in my lap.
“Awe that’s so sweet! Who is she?”
I frown at her.
“He? Hey whatever makes you happy.”
“It’s not a he it’s a she!” I snap “I’m just so angry! I feel so… vunerable.”
She smiles “That’s how love is.”
“I hate love.” I glare at the floor.
“So is it a scientist at work?”
I sigh “Hardly.”
“Hmm. Is she someone from the Comic Book Store?”
“Well, she’s been there.”
“Do I know her?”
I nod.
“Hmm…”
“Penny?”
“Yes?”
“Can you sing soft kitty?”
She smiles “That’s only for when you’re sick.”
“Love sickness is a kind of sick.” I point out.
She sighs, “OK, fine. Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty Little ball of fur. Happy Kitty Sleepy Kitty purr purr purr.”
I smile at her “Thank you.”
She smiles “Now who is it?”
“You’ll laugh at me.”
“No, I won’t Sheldon….”
I sigh “Fine… it’s… you.” I look up into her eyes, ready for more tears.
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