Categories > Cartoons > X-Men: Evolution > This Is Not A Love Story
Rogue sat uncomfortably in the passenger side of Remy’s car. She glanced back at the mansion as the car sped away. She half expected to the see the Blackbird fly out of the basketball court and start tailing them.
When it didn’t Rogue turned back around and, seeing Remy’s foot pushing the gas pedal to the floor, wrapped the seat belt around herself.
“And where exactly are we going?” Rogue asked.
They came to a stop sign and Remy eased on the brakes but the car still came to an abrupt stop. Remy put his hand out in front of Rogue to stop her from leaning forward. Rogue caught the motion and Remy’s wrist. She twisted till it cracked.
“Ahh!” Yelled Remy involuntarily.
“Now, where are we going?” Rogue asked once again.
“Ah dunno” Muttered Remy rubbing his injured wrist.
“Yah’re the one who woke meh up. You should have the suggestions and Ah’m not required to be perky.”
“Fine… Lunch?” Remy proposed.
“Its too early.”
“Breakfast?”
“Too late.”
“Brunch?”
“Too yuppie.”
Remy sighed and put his forehead to the steering wheel.
“Mon Dieu, Woman!” Remy whined. He continued to moan for a minute.
“Anymore suggestions?” Rogue asked. Remy turned his eyes to Rogue and looked at her hopelessly.
“Yah enjoy torturing Remy too much.”
Rogue smirked. “Ah know.”
Remy sighed. “Bowling?”
“Nah, Ah suck.”
“We could go to an arcade but we’d be the creepy old people who can’t play DDR for shit.”
Rogue smirked. “Nah.”
Remy sighed. “We could sit in the car all day and talk about what we could be doing.”
“That sounds fun.” Said Rogue sarcastically.
“We could go to McDonald’s,”
“Cheep-ass,” Said Rogue under her breath.
“Hey, Remy’s hungry, and we might be able to catch breakfast, unless you don’t want to. In which case we could repeat our conversation and come up with no new suggestions.”
Rogue sighed. “Fihne.”
Remy floored the gas once again and the car shot down the road.
xXx
Remy and Rogue stood in line in the local McDonalds (cause every town has about three, along with four Starbucks and a Walmart) staring at the menu.
“God, Ah can’t think of chicken nuggets the same way after seeing Super Size Meh,” Said Rogue making a disgusted face.
“Wutcha mean?” Remy, who hadn’t seen the movie, asked.
“Well they showed how they made chicken nuggets and they use the-
“Non, wait!” Remy said putting his hands over his ears. “Remy doesn’t wanna know, he loves chicken nuggets and wants to continue lovin’ ‘em,” He said, eyes shut as if that would stop him from hearing.
Rogue shrugged. “All right, but yah really wouldn’t want to eat them if yah knew,”
“Exactly, Ah’d rather be ignorant and happy than a genius on the verge of suicide.”
“You’d commit suicide over chicken nuggets?”
xXx
After they’d gotten their orders Rogue was filling her drink when Remy casually picked up a straw, which was in a paper wrapper. He broke off one end of the wrapped and put the straw to his lips and blew. The paper wrapped blew off the straw and hit Rogue’s cheek. She did the same to Remy but with her hand.
Remy rubbed his cheek where there was now a red mark.
“Y’know, Chere, Remy does these things out of love.”
Rogue smirked. “So do Ah,” Rogue turned on her heel and began to walk away.
“Wait a minute, Chere, what do yah mean by-
“Grab some ketchup,” Said Rogue ignoring him.
Rogue sat down in a booth and Remy sat down across from her, ketchup in hand. Rogue stared at the Cajun as he stuffed his face with a cheeseburger.
“Why are yah doin this?” She asked.
Remy looked up from his cheeseburger, confused. “Doin what?”
“Bothering meh, Ah mean.. there are plenty of girls who’d actually go with yah.” Said Rogue.
“Is this not a date?” Remy asked.
“Well, Ah mean they’d want to go out with yah. For meh it was this or clean up you guts after Logan spilled them all over the street.” Said Rogue. “And Ah mean they’d actually be able to…” Rogue trailed off.
“Touch without killin meh?” Remy asked, smirking.
Rogue sighed. “Yeah… So why do yah bother meh?”
“Truthfully?” Remy asked.
“Truthfully.”
Remy sighed. “Remy finds you interesting.”
“Interesting?” Rogue asked.
“Interesting.”
“And what does that mean?”
“It means Ah chase after yah because you don’t want to go out with meh.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.” Said Rogue confused.
“It makes plenty of sense. Ever hear of reverse psychology?”
“Yes, but this has nothing to do with reverse psychology, this is just you being an idiot.”
“Yah see that? Remy loves it when yah insult him.”
“Oh god, don’t tell meh yah’re into S&M.”
Remy laughed. “You asked.”
“Yeah, and Ah’m sorry Ah did.” Rogue sat back and Remy smirked at her. “What?” She asked. Remy shook his head and continued to devour his cheeseburger.
Three burgers later Remy leaned over the table and rested his head on it.
“God, Ah shouldn’t have eaten all that.” He moaned.
“Ya think?” Asked Rogue sarcastically.
Remy picked his head up off the table. “Oh, you’re one to talk. The other day yah ate lihke a cow.”
“Only cause Ah hadn’t eaten anything that day, besides, atleast Ah’m not bulimic.”
“True,”
Rogue stood up. “C’mon, lets go,” Remy moaned and put his head back on the table. “Damn it, Swamprat, C’mon!”
Remy moaned again. “But if Ah move, my lunch is goin all over yah shoes.”
“Get your ass up, Gambit!” Yelled Rogue. She grabbed him by the arm and began to pull him out of his chair. Remy continued to moan. “You sound lihke yah’re having sex with the chair.” Snapped Rogue as she was pulling.
“Well since Ah’m not getting anywhere with you...” Said Remy. Rogue kicked him in the shin with her boot. He sighed and, giving up, stood. “Happy?”
“very” Scowled Rogue before she dragged him out the door. Once out in the afternoon air Rogue stopped and let go of Remy, who immediately lost his balance and nearly fell down.
“Where to now?” Rogue asked. Remy stood up straight.
“Movies?”
“At two in the afternoon?”
“Its cheaper then.”
Rogue sighed. “Don’t you know what to say to a girl.”
xXx
The theater was deserted. Rogue had never seen it in the middle of the day like this, at night it was a mob scene (seeing as it was the one thing to do in Bayville).
“uh, there’s nothing out.” Rogue muttered while she stared at the board that listed what was playing.
“Yeah, y’know writers are getting lazy when everything is based off a comic book.” (There’s a little irony for yah)
“Is there really a movie about an RV?”
“Well there’s one about ballroom dancing.”
“God the movies suck!” Whined Rogue.
“Wait, wait, what’s this? Mission Impossible 4?” Suggested Remy.
“Tom Cruise is an idiot.”
“That’s not the point. This gives us something that wouldn’t be totally nauseating to watch.”
“Fihne”
“Why is everything with you ‘fihne’,” Asked Remy imitating Rogue southern drawl that he himself had a similar form of. “Nothin’s ever good?”
“Some things are good, just nothing that includes you.” Said Rogue before she walked up to the ticket window. “One adult,” She glanced at Remy. “And one child.” (1)
Remy ordered a large popcorn and a large coke and immediately started devouring the popcorn.
“Fihve minutes ago yah were ready to puke yahre brains out.” Commented Rogue while they were watching the previews.
“Remy’s got a fast metabolism.”
“Well, stop eatin’ or yah’ll finish before the movie starts.”
Remy sighed “Fine” and slouched down in his seat. Seconds later Rogue got a kernel to the face. She quickly glanced over at the Cajun who was looking around the dark theater, innocently.
She dug her into the bag of popcorn and threw a handful at his face. He immediately threw a handful back and before long the hole bag was on the floor. When there was nothing left to throw they both crossed their arms and slouched in their seats.
Remy looked over at Rouge who glared at him. He looked away but his arm casually slid over the back of her seat. Rogue noticed this.
“Whatever part of yah that touches meh, yah’re not getting back.” (2) She said without taking her eyes from the screen. Remy’s hand was quickly removed from the back of Rogue’s seat.
xXx
After the movie the rest of the people in the theater left, other than Rogue and Remy, who sat lethargically staring at the credits. Remy had gotten up three time during the movie to get more orders of popcorn, which were inevitably spilled all over the floor.
“Tom Cruise is an idiot.” Said Rogue.
“If Ah was the janitor, Ah’d be pissed at us.” Muttered Remy, ignoring Rogue’s statement of the obvious and instead admiring the sea of kernels beneath his feet.
Rogue glanced to the door of the theater and saw a man in a blue jump suit glaring at them, mop in hand.
“Yeah, Ah think he is.”
“What the hell is with this music?” Remy asked referring to the music that began playing on the theater’s stereo after the credits had ended. “Its like new-wave-death-elevator music.”
Rogue laughed. “New-wave-death-elevator music, can’t say Ah heard of that.”
“Well it hasn’t gotten popular yet. But believe me it’s the next grunge.”
“Oh god! Don’t tell meh flannel’s coming back.” Whined Rogue. She looked at Remy who was smirking at her. “What? Ah don’t look good in plaid.” When Remy continued looking at her Rogue stopped with the music bit. “Why are yah starrin meh, Swamprat?”
“Sorry, it’s just so hard to look away.” Said Remy keeping his dark eyes on her. Rogue sighed and rolled her own green ones.
“Y’know just cause yah call this a date, it doesn’t make it one.”
“But it is a date.” Said Remy.
“No its not.” Said Rogue firmly.
“Dinner and a movie?”
“Damn it! An need to learn mah date qualifications better.”
“Oui, yah do, Chere.” Said Remy, who was still staring at her with adoring eyes.
Rogue sighed. “C’mon the janitors on the verge of strangling us.” Said Rogue. The man in the blue jumpsuit was going up and down the isles with his push broom, turning his head to keep them in his sight and Rogue swore she saw it go all the way around.
“So?”
“Really, Remy, he’s gonna eat us.” Said Rogue standing up. There was a loud crunch of kernels beneath her feet that could be heard over the new-wave-death-elevator music and Rogue almost immediately fell back into her seat.
She turned and saw Remy’s hand around her own.
“C’mon, stay for a minute. These seats are comfy.”
Rogue sighed and stared back at him. They were silent and Rogue wondered how long she could keep eye contact with him. This is the time normal people would kiss. But they aren’t normal and this is not a love story.
Remy sighed. “C’mon.” He said standing up, Rogue’s hand still in his.
xXx
(1) – A line from Seinfeld
(2) – A line from Roseanne (God what’s with me and sitcoms?)
When it didn’t Rogue turned back around and, seeing Remy’s foot pushing the gas pedal to the floor, wrapped the seat belt around herself.
“And where exactly are we going?” Rogue asked.
They came to a stop sign and Remy eased on the brakes but the car still came to an abrupt stop. Remy put his hand out in front of Rogue to stop her from leaning forward. Rogue caught the motion and Remy’s wrist. She twisted till it cracked.
“Ahh!” Yelled Remy involuntarily.
“Now, where are we going?” Rogue asked once again.
“Ah dunno” Muttered Remy rubbing his injured wrist.
“Yah’re the one who woke meh up. You should have the suggestions and Ah’m not required to be perky.”
“Fine… Lunch?” Remy proposed.
“Its too early.”
“Breakfast?”
“Too late.”
“Brunch?”
“Too yuppie.”
Remy sighed and put his forehead to the steering wheel.
“Mon Dieu, Woman!” Remy whined. He continued to moan for a minute.
“Anymore suggestions?” Rogue asked. Remy turned his eyes to Rogue and looked at her hopelessly.
“Yah enjoy torturing Remy too much.”
Rogue smirked. “Ah know.”
Remy sighed. “Bowling?”
“Nah, Ah suck.”
“We could go to an arcade but we’d be the creepy old people who can’t play DDR for shit.”
Rogue smirked. “Nah.”
Remy sighed. “We could sit in the car all day and talk about what we could be doing.”
“That sounds fun.” Said Rogue sarcastically.
“We could go to McDonald’s,”
“Cheep-ass,” Said Rogue under her breath.
“Hey, Remy’s hungry, and we might be able to catch breakfast, unless you don’t want to. In which case we could repeat our conversation and come up with no new suggestions.”
Rogue sighed. “Fihne.”
Remy floored the gas once again and the car shot down the road.
xXx
Remy and Rogue stood in line in the local McDonalds (cause every town has about three, along with four Starbucks and a Walmart) staring at the menu.
“God, Ah can’t think of chicken nuggets the same way after seeing Super Size Meh,” Said Rogue making a disgusted face.
“Wutcha mean?” Remy, who hadn’t seen the movie, asked.
“Well they showed how they made chicken nuggets and they use the-
“Non, wait!” Remy said putting his hands over his ears. “Remy doesn’t wanna know, he loves chicken nuggets and wants to continue lovin’ ‘em,” He said, eyes shut as if that would stop him from hearing.
Rogue shrugged. “All right, but yah really wouldn’t want to eat them if yah knew,”
“Exactly, Ah’d rather be ignorant and happy than a genius on the verge of suicide.”
“You’d commit suicide over chicken nuggets?”
xXx
After they’d gotten their orders Rogue was filling her drink when Remy casually picked up a straw, which was in a paper wrapper. He broke off one end of the wrapped and put the straw to his lips and blew. The paper wrapped blew off the straw and hit Rogue’s cheek. She did the same to Remy but with her hand.
Remy rubbed his cheek where there was now a red mark.
“Y’know, Chere, Remy does these things out of love.”
Rogue smirked. “So do Ah,” Rogue turned on her heel and began to walk away.
“Wait a minute, Chere, what do yah mean by-
“Grab some ketchup,” Said Rogue ignoring him.
Rogue sat down in a booth and Remy sat down across from her, ketchup in hand. Rogue stared at the Cajun as he stuffed his face with a cheeseburger.
“Why are yah doin this?” She asked.
Remy looked up from his cheeseburger, confused. “Doin what?”
“Bothering meh, Ah mean.. there are plenty of girls who’d actually go with yah.” Said Rogue.
“Is this not a date?” Remy asked.
“Well, Ah mean they’d want to go out with yah. For meh it was this or clean up you guts after Logan spilled them all over the street.” Said Rogue. “And Ah mean they’d actually be able to…” Rogue trailed off.
“Touch without killin meh?” Remy asked, smirking.
Rogue sighed. “Yeah… So why do yah bother meh?”
“Truthfully?” Remy asked.
“Truthfully.”
Remy sighed. “Remy finds you interesting.”
“Interesting?” Rogue asked.
“Interesting.”
“And what does that mean?”
“It means Ah chase after yah because you don’t want to go out with meh.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.” Said Rogue confused.
“It makes plenty of sense. Ever hear of reverse psychology?”
“Yes, but this has nothing to do with reverse psychology, this is just you being an idiot.”
“Yah see that? Remy loves it when yah insult him.”
“Oh god, don’t tell meh yah’re into S&M.”
Remy laughed. “You asked.”
“Yeah, and Ah’m sorry Ah did.” Rogue sat back and Remy smirked at her. “What?” She asked. Remy shook his head and continued to devour his cheeseburger.
Three burgers later Remy leaned over the table and rested his head on it.
“God, Ah shouldn’t have eaten all that.” He moaned.
“Ya think?” Asked Rogue sarcastically.
Remy picked his head up off the table. “Oh, you’re one to talk. The other day yah ate lihke a cow.”
“Only cause Ah hadn’t eaten anything that day, besides, atleast Ah’m not bulimic.”
“True,”
Rogue stood up. “C’mon, lets go,” Remy moaned and put his head back on the table. “Damn it, Swamprat, C’mon!”
Remy moaned again. “But if Ah move, my lunch is goin all over yah shoes.”
“Get your ass up, Gambit!” Yelled Rogue. She grabbed him by the arm and began to pull him out of his chair. Remy continued to moan. “You sound lihke yah’re having sex with the chair.” Snapped Rogue as she was pulling.
“Well since Ah’m not getting anywhere with you...” Said Remy. Rogue kicked him in the shin with her boot. He sighed and, giving up, stood. “Happy?”
“very” Scowled Rogue before she dragged him out the door. Once out in the afternoon air Rogue stopped and let go of Remy, who immediately lost his balance and nearly fell down.
“Where to now?” Rogue asked. Remy stood up straight.
“Movies?”
“At two in the afternoon?”
“Its cheaper then.”
Rogue sighed. “Don’t you know what to say to a girl.”
xXx
The theater was deserted. Rogue had never seen it in the middle of the day like this, at night it was a mob scene (seeing as it was the one thing to do in Bayville).
“uh, there’s nothing out.” Rogue muttered while she stared at the board that listed what was playing.
“Yeah, y’know writers are getting lazy when everything is based off a comic book.” (There’s a little irony for yah)
“Is there really a movie about an RV?”
“Well there’s one about ballroom dancing.”
“God the movies suck!” Whined Rogue.
“Wait, wait, what’s this? Mission Impossible 4?” Suggested Remy.
“Tom Cruise is an idiot.”
“That’s not the point. This gives us something that wouldn’t be totally nauseating to watch.”
“Fihne”
“Why is everything with you ‘fihne’,” Asked Remy imitating Rogue southern drawl that he himself had a similar form of. “Nothin’s ever good?”
“Some things are good, just nothing that includes you.” Said Rogue before she walked up to the ticket window. “One adult,” She glanced at Remy. “And one child.” (1)
Remy ordered a large popcorn and a large coke and immediately started devouring the popcorn.
“Fihve minutes ago yah were ready to puke yahre brains out.” Commented Rogue while they were watching the previews.
“Remy’s got a fast metabolism.”
“Well, stop eatin’ or yah’ll finish before the movie starts.”
Remy sighed “Fine” and slouched down in his seat. Seconds later Rogue got a kernel to the face. She quickly glanced over at the Cajun who was looking around the dark theater, innocently.
She dug her into the bag of popcorn and threw a handful at his face. He immediately threw a handful back and before long the hole bag was on the floor. When there was nothing left to throw they both crossed their arms and slouched in their seats.
Remy looked over at Rouge who glared at him. He looked away but his arm casually slid over the back of her seat. Rogue noticed this.
“Whatever part of yah that touches meh, yah’re not getting back.” (2) She said without taking her eyes from the screen. Remy’s hand was quickly removed from the back of Rogue’s seat.
xXx
After the movie the rest of the people in the theater left, other than Rogue and Remy, who sat lethargically staring at the credits. Remy had gotten up three time during the movie to get more orders of popcorn, which were inevitably spilled all over the floor.
“Tom Cruise is an idiot.” Said Rogue.
“If Ah was the janitor, Ah’d be pissed at us.” Muttered Remy, ignoring Rogue’s statement of the obvious and instead admiring the sea of kernels beneath his feet.
Rogue glanced to the door of the theater and saw a man in a blue jump suit glaring at them, mop in hand.
“Yeah, Ah think he is.”
“What the hell is with this music?” Remy asked referring to the music that began playing on the theater’s stereo after the credits had ended. “Its like new-wave-death-elevator music.”
Rogue laughed. “New-wave-death-elevator music, can’t say Ah heard of that.”
“Well it hasn’t gotten popular yet. But believe me it’s the next grunge.”
“Oh god! Don’t tell meh flannel’s coming back.” Whined Rogue. She looked at Remy who was smirking at her. “What? Ah don’t look good in plaid.” When Remy continued looking at her Rogue stopped with the music bit. “Why are yah starrin meh, Swamprat?”
“Sorry, it’s just so hard to look away.” Said Remy keeping his dark eyes on her. Rogue sighed and rolled her own green ones.
“Y’know just cause yah call this a date, it doesn’t make it one.”
“But it is a date.” Said Remy.
“No its not.” Said Rogue firmly.
“Dinner and a movie?”
“Damn it! An need to learn mah date qualifications better.”
“Oui, yah do, Chere.” Said Remy, who was still staring at her with adoring eyes.
Rogue sighed. “C’mon the janitors on the verge of strangling us.” Said Rogue. The man in the blue jumpsuit was going up and down the isles with his push broom, turning his head to keep them in his sight and Rogue swore she saw it go all the way around.
“So?”
“Really, Remy, he’s gonna eat us.” Said Rogue standing up. There was a loud crunch of kernels beneath her feet that could be heard over the new-wave-death-elevator music and Rogue almost immediately fell back into her seat.
She turned and saw Remy’s hand around her own.
“C’mon, stay for a minute. These seats are comfy.”
Rogue sighed and stared back at him. They were silent and Rogue wondered how long she could keep eye contact with him. This is the time normal people would kiss. But they aren’t normal and this is not a love story.
Remy sighed. “C’mon.” He said standing up, Rogue’s hand still in his.
xXx
(1) – A line from Seinfeld
(2) – A line from Roseanne (God what’s with me and sitcoms?)
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