Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows
My apologises for the massive delay in updating. But this chapter was a particularly hard one to write, and so will be the one after.
It had been four months since I had broken up with Chris.
It has been four glorious months in the arms of Gerard.
Every single day for the past four months I had to pinch myself to remind myself that this wasn't a dream. I was drowning in happiness and I sure as hell didn't want to come up for air.
Being with Gerard was everything I ever thought it would be.
He completed me in ways I thought no man on this earth could.
The one thing I love most about being with Gerard, is that he is still the same person that I feel in love with. I was always scared that when I finally got with who I thought would be the one, that he would change once commitment was added to the package. Gerard didn't. He still cracks those dirty jokes and cared for me unconditionally.
Gerard and I spent as much time we could together, making up for the lost time. He took me out to the movies and to restaurants. My favourite date by far was when we decided to go bowling. We were both pathetic at it and made fun of each other all night long only to retire to his hotel bed and expressed our love for one another.
Whenever I couldn't spend the night with Gerard and we had to be a part, he would send me sweet text messages, or I would find flowers on my door step with a card that simply read 'Fuck me, I miss you.'
I was re-telling my romantic tales to Courtney who was pretending to dry reach by the end of my story.
'What's so wrong with him sending me flowers?'
'Romance is tacky and pathetic. It's lame.'
'You're just jealous coz the romance left your life since you came back from the honeymoon.' Courtney reached out for coffee mug and silenced her rebuttal by taking a sip from her cappuccino. I took a long drag of my cigarette and smiled to myself. I was happy as a pig in shit.
Courtney and I were sitting outside a cafe catching up on current events. Surprisingly Courtney was happy that I was finally with Gerard. In fact, a lot of my family and friends were happy that I finally was happy. Even though they were all happy for me, they all still asked the question 'When do I get to meet him?'
'Would you please stop smiling! Your glow is blinding me.' Courtney pushed her sunglasses up her nose as she let out a giggle.
'I'm sorry. I just can't help it. I can't believe this is finally happening to me.'
'I can't believe it all happened on the night of my wedding. God! Imagine, if I never had my wedding there you would never of found him again!'
'So I suppose this is the part where I am supposed to get down on my knees, kiss your feet and thank you?' Courtney uncrossed her legs and stuck out her sandal covered foot.
'Well? It's waiting.' We both let out a laugh as a waiter came to our table and replaced our empty coffee cups with freshly made ones.
'So when do I meet this man of perfection? You've been with him for four months and you seem to be keeping him all to yourself.' My message tone went off and I looked at the screen.
'How about in 3 minutes?'
'Are you fucking kidding me? Look at me, I look like bum! He can't see me like this!'
'Why do you care Court? His my man! And besides your married!'
'I... I want to make a good impression.'
'Make a good impression on who?' Gerard pulled out the chair that was closest to me and dragged it across so he was sitting right by my side.
'Gerard this is my best, and oldest friend Courtney. Courtney this is Gerard.' Gerard extended his hand out across the coffee table and they shook hands, he then rested his hand upon my thigh as he leaned in and gave me a small peck on the cheek.
'Its a pleasure to meet you Gerard. I have heard so much about you.'
'I do believe that you and I have met before. I spoke with you on numerous occasions in regards to your recent nuptials.'
'Oh how silly of me, how could I forget such a gorgeous face.' I choked on my coffee when I registered what Courtney had said. I placed my mug down and looked at her. Courtney's cheeks were on fire. She was looking every where but at Gerard as she tried to hide her embarrassment. Gerard was patting my back in attempt to rid me of the hideous coughing fit.
'Do you think that I don't have a gorgeous face Vee? Am I that repulsive that you choke on your coffee? Maybe I am dating the wrong girl?' I recovered from my fit and looked up at Courtney, her cheeks were ablaze now. Gerard and I laughed out loud as Courtney let out a quiet giggle.
My coffee with Courtney went by without further incident. Gerard and Courtney soon got on like a house on fire because Gerard brought up her favourite topic; her. Courtney went on and on about the wedding and complimented Gerard on his staff for all their help during her big day. She went on to tell him about their honeymoon and house that they just bought. Gerard listened intently to her as she spoke. He kept his hand on my thigh rubbing small circles with his thumb. Every once in a while he would steal a glance at me and share a quick smile. I sat at the table just gazing at him and thanking my lucky stars that he was mine.
Gerard and I left the little cafe some two hours later. We walked hand in hand down the street and jumped into his car. As soon as I our doors were closed I looked at him and said 'You are wonderful, you know that?' He looked over at me and pressed his lips against mine. 'And you are wonderful too, baby girl.'
Gerard started the engine and flicked on his indicator. I settled myself down in the passenger seat, getting ready for the short trip home. I rested my head against the head rest and kept my eyes fixated on him. I was just about to open my mouth to say something when my body lurched forward almost hitting the dash board. As my body collied to the back of the seat the car began to spin quickly and then everything just went dark.
*
I opened my eyes and found myself leaning forward in the passenger seat. The seat belt tight across my chest, holding me in place. I looked over at Gerard who was leaning up against his seat. His head tilted towards the roof of the car and I saw a trickle of blood coming out of his nose. 'Gee... Gee.' My eyes closed on me and everything faded to black.
*
'Miss, Miss, can you hear me?'
'mmmmmm yeah.' My eyes began to open again but were struggling to stay that way.
'Miss, what is your name?'
'Virginia....Virginia Madison.'
'Virginia, you have been in a car accident, we are going to get your out of the car, but we need to know, does anywhere hurt in particular?'
'Gerard... Gerard... where's Gerard?'
'Are you hurt anywhere Miss?'
*
I woke up in a state of panic. I lurched forward and sat up right in my bed. 'Gerard! Where's Gerard?'
'Shhh... calm down baby girl, I am right here.' I didn't notice him sitting on a chair right next to my hospital bed. 'Lie back down sweetie.'
'Only if you join me.'
'Like I'm going to say no to you.' His smirk grew across his face and pushed down the side rail and moulded his body with mine. 'Are you okay Vee? Your not hurting anywhere?'
'I'm fine now that you are with me.' I nuzzled my head under his chin and held onto him. 'What happened?'
'As I was pulling out of our parking spot, a car took the corner to fast and clipped our car.' He stroked my head and placed a kiss on my forehead. 'I was worried about you Vee, you were asleep for so long.'
'Miss Madison, it's good to see that you are awake. I am Doctor Klenos, do you mind if I have a word with you?'
Gerard and I looked away from each other and directed our attention to the doctor standing at the foot of my bed. 'Sure not a problem.' The doctor moved from the end of the bed to the chair that Gerard was sitting in earlier. As I watched him sit down my heart dropped to the bottom of my stomach. There was no way that what this doctor had to say to me was going to be good.
'I am glad to see that you seem to be in good heath since the accident, however I do have some bad news.' He took a deep breath as he looked at Gerard and me. 'I am sorry to say that your baby, unfortunately, didn't make it. I am very sorry.'
'What?' I gave the Doctor a puzzled look. 'What are you talking about? What baby?' The doctor shifted in his seat and I watched the realisation grow on his face.
'Miss Madison, you were four months pregnant. Did you not know?' I stared at the doctor like he was some sort of fucking idiot.
'Doctor Klenos, I think you have the wrong patient file. I was not pregnant, nor will I ever be pregnant.' The doctor pulled at the file he held in his hand and lifted out a few bits of paper. He handed them over to Gerard and we both looked at the paperwork. 'Holy fucking shit. This isn't happening.'
My hand had wrapped itself across my mouth as I read my name, my date of birth, my address. I saw my mothers name as my next of kin. Tears fell from my eyes and onto the paperwork in Gerards hand. Gerard let the papers go and they fell onto the hospital floor. He pulled me into his chest as I cried. My whole body shook and I let out little shrieks that sounded much like a wounded dog. Gerard rested his head on top of my head as he tightened his grip around me.
'Gerard, pinch me.' I said in-between sobs, 'please tell me this is a nightmare'.
'I want to baby girl. I want to tell you its a nightmare.' I howled even louder as I accepted this truth.
It had been four months since I had broken up with Chris.
It has been four glorious months in the arms of Gerard.
Every single day for the past four months I had to pinch myself to remind myself that this wasn't a dream. I was drowning in happiness and I sure as hell didn't want to come up for air.
Being with Gerard was everything I ever thought it would be.
He completed me in ways I thought no man on this earth could.
The one thing I love most about being with Gerard, is that he is still the same person that I feel in love with. I was always scared that when I finally got with who I thought would be the one, that he would change once commitment was added to the package. Gerard didn't. He still cracks those dirty jokes and cared for me unconditionally.
Gerard and I spent as much time we could together, making up for the lost time. He took me out to the movies and to restaurants. My favourite date by far was when we decided to go bowling. We were both pathetic at it and made fun of each other all night long only to retire to his hotel bed and expressed our love for one another.
Whenever I couldn't spend the night with Gerard and we had to be a part, he would send me sweet text messages, or I would find flowers on my door step with a card that simply read 'Fuck me, I miss you.'
I was re-telling my romantic tales to Courtney who was pretending to dry reach by the end of my story.
'What's so wrong with him sending me flowers?'
'Romance is tacky and pathetic. It's lame.'
'You're just jealous coz the romance left your life since you came back from the honeymoon.' Courtney reached out for coffee mug and silenced her rebuttal by taking a sip from her cappuccino. I took a long drag of my cigarette and smiled to myself. I was happy as a pig in shit.
Courtney and I were sitting outside a cafe catching up on current events. Surprisingly Courtney was happy that I was finally with Gerard. In fact, a lot of my family and friends were happy that I finally was happy. Even though they were all happy for me, they all still asked the question 'When do I get to meet him?'
'Would you please stop smiling! Your glow is blinding me.' Courtney pushed her sunglasses up her nose as she let out a giggle.
'I'm sorry. I just can't help it. I can't believe this is finally happening to me.'
'I can't believe it all happened on the night of my wedding. God! Imagine, if I never had my wedding there you would never of found him again!'
'So I suppose this is the part where I am supposed to get down on my knees, kiss your feet and thank you?' Courtney uncrossed her legs and stuck out her sandal covered foot.
'Well? It's waiting.' We both let out a laugh as a waiter came to our table and replaced our empty coffee cups with freshly made ones.
'So when do I meet this man of perfection? You've been with him for four months and you seem to be keeping him all to yourself.' My message tone went off and I looked at the screen.
'How about in 3 minutes?'
'Are you fucking kidding me? Look at me, I look like bum! He can't see me like this!'
'Why do you care Court? His my man! And besides your married!'
'I... I want to make a good impression.'
'Make a good impression on who?' Gerard pulled out the chair that was closest to me and dragged it across so he was sitting right by my side.
'Gerard this is my best, and oldest friend Courtney. Courtney this is Gerard.' Gerard extended his hand out across the coffee table and they shook hands, he then rested his hand upon my thigh as he leaned in and gave me a small peck on the cheek.
'Its a pleasure to meet you Gerard. I have heard so much about you.'
'I do believe that you and I have met before. I spoke with you on numerous occasions in regards to your recent nuptials.'
'Oh how silly of me, how could I forget such a gorgeous face.' I choked on my coffee when I registered what Courtney had said. I placed my mug down and looked at her. Courtney's cheeks were on fire. She was looking every where but at Gerard as she tried to hide her embarrassment. Gerard was patting my back in attempt to rid me of the hideous coughing fit.
'Do you think that I don't have a gorgeous face Vee? Am I that repulsive that you choke on your coffee? Maybe I am dating the wrong girl?' I recovered from my fit and looked up at Courtney, her cheeks were ablaze now. Gerard and I laughed out loud as Courtney let out a quiet giggle.
My coffee with Courtney went by without further incident. Gerard and Courtney soon got on like a house on fire because Gerard brought up her favourite topic; her. Courtney went on and on about the wedding and complimented Gerard on his staff for all their help during her big day. She went on to tell him about their honeymoon and house that they just bought. Gerard listened intently to her as she spoke. He kept his hand on my thigh rubbing small circles with his thumb. Every once in a while he would steal a glance at me and share a quick smile. I sat at the table just gazing at him and thanking my lucky stars that he was mine.
Gerard and I left the little cafe some two hours later. We walked hand in hand down the street and jumped into his car. As soon as I our doors were closed I looked at him and said 'You are wonderful, you know that?' He looked over at me and pressed his lips against mine. 'And you are wonderful too, baby girl.'
Gerard started the engine and flicked on his indicator. I settled myself down in the passenger seat, getting ready for the short trip home. I rested my head against the head rest and kept my eyes fixated on him. I was just about to open my mouth to say something when my body lurched forward almost hitting the dash board. As my body collied to the back of the seat the car began to spin quickly and then everything just went dark.
*
I opened my eyes and found myself leaning forward in the passenger seat. The seat belt tight across my chest, holding me in place. I looked over at Gerard who was leaning up against his seat. His head tilted towards the roof of the car and I saw a trickle of blood coming out of his nose. 'Gee... Gee.' My eyes closed on me and everything faded to black.
*
'Miss, Miss, can you hear me?'
'mmmmmm yeah.' My eyes began to open again but were struggling to stay that way.
'Miss, what is your name?'
'Virginia....Virginia Madison.'
'Virginia, you have been in a car accident, we are going to get your out of the car, but we need to know, does anywhere hurt in particular?'
'Gerard... Gerard... where's Gerard?'
'Are you hurt anywhere Miss?'
*
I woke up in a state of panic. I lurched forward and sat up right in my bed. 'Gerard! Where's Gerard?'
'Shhh... calm down baby girl, I am right here.' I didn't notice him sitting on a chair right next to my hospital bed. 'Lie back down sweetie.'
'Only if you join me.'
'Like I'm going to say no to you.' His smirk grew across his face and pushed down the side rail and moulded his body with mine. 'Are you okay Vee? Your not hurting anywhere?'
'I'm fine now that you are with me.' I nuzzled my head under his chin and held onto him. 'What happened?'
'As I was pulling out of our parking spot, a car took the corner to fast and clipped our car.' He stroked my head and placed a kiss on my forehead. 'I was worried about you Vee, you were asleep for so long.'
'Miss Madison, it's good to see that you are awake. I am Doctor Klenos, do you mind if I have a word with you?'
Gerard and I looked away from each other and directed our attention to the doctor standing at the foot of my bed. 'Sure not a problem.' The doctor moved from the end of the bed to the chair that Gerard was sitting in earlier. As I watched him sit down my heart dropped to the bottom of my stomach. There was no way that what this doctor had to say to me was going to be good.
'I am glad to see that you seem to be in good heath since the accident, however I do have some bad news.' He took a deep breath as he looked at Gerard and me. 'I am sorry to say that your baby, unfortunately, didn't make it. I am very sorry.'
'What?' I gave the Doctor a puzzled look. 'What are you talking about? What baby?' The doctor shifted in his seat and I watched the realisation grow on his face.
'Miss Madison, you were four months pregnant. Did you not know?' I stared at the doctor like he was some sort of fucking idiot.
'Doctor Klenos, I think you have the wrong patient file. I was not pregnant, nor will I ever be pregnant.' The doctor pulled at the file he held in his hand and lifted out a few bits of paper. He handed them over to Gerard and we both looked at the paperwork. 'Holy fucking shit. This isn't happening.'
My hand had wrapped itself across my mouth as I read my name, my date of birth, my address. I saw my mothers name as my next of kin. Tears fell from my eyes and onto the paperwork in Gerards hand. Gerard let the papers go and they fell onto the hospital floor. He pulled me into his chest as I cried. My whole body shook and I let out little shrieks that sounded much like a wounded dog. Gerard rested his head on top of my head as he tightened his grip around me.
'Gerard, pinch me.' I said in-between sobs, 'please tell me this is a nightmare'.
'I want to baby girl. I want to tell you its a nightmare.' I howled even louder as I accepted this truth.
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