(#) whatareyouevensaying 2006-05-05Brilliant chapter, as always. There was only one notable error (save a couple of grammatical ones that aren't worth mentioning). The spell is "Petrificus Totalus", not "Perfecto Totalus".
As for what you said about Fawkes, I can see it both ways. JKR doesn't really go into much detail when talking about Phoenixes, but I've always thought of them as representing the side of good and light. If Dumbledore is being manipulative and straying from the righteous path, then Fawkes might abandon him. However, if he's Dumbledore's familiar (as you're portraying him), then what you're saying makes perfect sense. I'm rambling. Great chapter, can't wait to read what's coming up next.
Author's responseYeah, my beta just sent the edited chapter to me. I'll post the corrected version tomorrow. Just me being too eager to post. Look for the corrected version tomorrow or Sunday. -- Jim
- Great chapter! I thought the confrontation with Dumbledore would have had a little more action. But the last part with Ginny was great! I mean wow! Well as always I leave this review with: Can't wait till the next update so update ASAP!
Author's responseWell like it or not, both Harry and Dumbles need each other. Neither are very pleased with each other at the moment and I decided to make it more of a mental battle than a physical one. Chapter 16 is being written at this time and I am quite pleased with the progress. Jim
(#) shawnpickett 2006-05-06Outstanding story so far, I rather like the way you have Harry and Dumbledore at odds about things, but still on the same side. Dumbledore has made mistakes, but that is what they are, mistakes, not some Byzantine plot to be the next dark lord, or at least glorify himself by sacrificing Harry (most of the fics with Harry and Dumbledore feuding seem to gravitate towards this, with Dumbledore winding up going dark over it, thus the reason for Fawkes, a creature of light, bailing on Dumbledore.) You seem to have struck a nice balance of contention between them without making Harry an angel and Dumbledore a devil. Outstanding work, thank you.
Author's responseWhen I started this I wanted to be both realistic and believable. I strive to maintain that balance. My rule is that I can do whatever I want to a character as long as I can make the reader believe it. Chapter 16 is titled "Penny for your thoughts." It's about one third written and I think you can tell what it is going to be about. Jim
(#) MasterKtulu 2006-05-10Great chapter, I hope you update soon. (This is the first FanFic I remember reading that has a realistic 3-Dimensional Voldemort… Good job!)
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Author's responseOne of the things that pleases me the most about this story is Voldy. When I try to write him, I look to some of the more interesting villains out there like Magneto, Luthor and Doctor Doom. I want the reader to believe that if Voldy wins, he could actually rule the world he conquers.
- “No one noticed the predatory smile on the face of Penelope Clearwater-Weasley.” It would seem to me that sooner rather than later our receiving empath would pick up on her maybe not yet but I do not think It would take all that long. According to her conversation with Tom she will be on guard when she feels a mental probe, but that would not affect Hanna Picking up her ?hostile? ?evil? Whatever feelings that do not jibe with a grieving widow. Why would Penelope not have shown up in the Foe glasses it would seem she is the closest and greatest threat currently. Then again having just looking at the title of the next chapter my question might be answered already. All and all another good chapter. Looking forward to more.
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