FicWad

Mikey would say that he loves Gerard, but he doesn't know exactly what love is, so he keeps his mouth shut. He looked it up one day, and the dictionary had two definitions: 1 - A feeling of warm personal attachment, and 2 - A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

Now you see, both of those apply to Mikey about Gerard, so does that mean he's in love with him? He's not sure. He'd always been painfully close to his older brother as children, then as they grew up together their bond became inextricably stronger and stronger, and evolved into something that was completely unique to them, and no one else seemed to understand. Therefore it was something that no one could touch, no one could destroy, something they had for themselves.

This sibling bond didn't just go from playing Lego and telling each other secrets to this ...thing, that it was now, there were, as is usual, many stages in the evolution.

Firstly there was three year old Mikey and six year old Gerard, playing tag in the back yard and talking in their special secret language. Then seven year old Mikey and ten year old Gerard who protected him under all circumstances at school and took him to the comic book store every Saturday. Twelve year old Mikey came home from school and on an almost routinely weekly basis, fell into fifteen year old Gerard's lap and let his brother stroke his hair and shush him lovingly, as he cried and Gerard told him the bullies were talking shit. And when fourteen year old Mikey crept down into seventeen year old Gerard's bedroom in the middle of a thunderstorm, and Gerard welcomed him into his bed, snuggling around him and making him feel safe, Mikey felt a warmth in his stomach and satisfaction in his heartbeat at the feeling of Gerard's hands on his chest and sleeping breath on his cheek. And that's when his life got a little bit harder.

By the time Mikey was sixteen, he was convinced he was going to hell. How had he reached this strong conclusion? You could probably put it down to the dreams. The dreams and the looks and the funny whirling fuzzy feeling in his insides he got every time he touched or even looked at Gerard. The one that was especially fond of rearing its head upon seeing Gerard's smile. When his thin, pale pink lips cracked apart and stretched up in a half-moon, the apples of his cheeks rounded, his little teeth parted and his whole face just lit up, radiance and happiness shone out of every pore. Gerard was one of those people who had a habit of making you smile with him, whether you wanted to or not - and every time he did, the feeling reared up like a fluffy pink meerkat and tickled Mikey's organs, making him flush with joy, and he found himself grinning and washed over with guilt.

For months, he managed, just about, to keep a lid on the hideous feelings that made him salivate and leave a bad taste in his mouth at the same time. They came to a head, however, when one night his dream - a fairly regular one - took on a whole new dimension.

"Mmm, Gerard...." I purred, his fingers dancing up my neck and his breath coming raggedly against my forehead. He kissed my hairline and smirked against the skin, moving his head, leaving scattered kisses in a line down my face and neck. Pausing there, he ran his tongue up the length of my throat, then swiped it across my neck to my pulse, where his lips joined it, closing round the artery and sucking. I moaned once loudly, breaking into whimpers.

"Mikey, Mikey, Mikey, you dirty little boy." Gerard murmured, the vibrations of his voice sending my blood rate even higher. Still sucking on my neck in an indecently sexual and whorish way, Gerard pressed one hand on my bare chest and slid his palm slowly, painfully slowly, down to my boxers. As his fingers disappeared beneath the waistband, my eyes shot open and my head left the pillow, my mouth falling open.

"Ugh, fucking SHIT Gee!" I groaned, my head falling back on the pillow, neck arched in pleasure and my eyelids fluttering closed. He giggled, breath sending me to the edge, my hands fisting in the sheets and toes curling, legs flailing desperately. His breath, his hand, his stupid delicate butterfly kisses on way too sensitive skin sent me screaming his name and panting in the aftermath.

My fingers let go of the sheet and ran through his hair, so, so soft, and stroked his head, tucking some behind his ear, as he kissed my thigh.

"You look so damn pretty when you scream, baby." he whispered tenderly, then crawled up the bed, leaning up on his knees to kiss my-

Mikey was suddenly woken up by something touching his face. He opened his eyes wide and quickly came to, as he felt and heard a wet kiss being placed on his forehead, his hair pushed gently back. Then letting it's hand trail down Mikey's face, a dark figure left his bedside. With a lot of effort and squinting, he made out the distinctly familiar gait of Gerard. Mikey's body froze, not a muscle in his face moving, as he watched Gerard walk quietly to his bedroom door, wiping his right hand on the side of his jeans, then close the door on his way out, careful not to wake Mikey.

Five minutes after the door had shut, and Gerard's footsteps had faded down the stairs, Mikey still hadn't moved, his lips forming soundless, senseless words. His nightvision had kicked in more so, and looking down, Mikey whined in annoyance, seeing, even without his glasses, a very large, blurred wet stain on his sheets.

And now, twenty four year old Mikey lives in twenty seven year old Gerard's house, tucked up in his bed in his allocated bedroom as Gerard sleeps next door, and tries to remember if it really happened.