Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > You Shut Me Up And Bleed Me Dry.
It had been about 3 days since Brendon and Ryan had been in the presence of each other. Ryan obviously hadn't been able to answer him and Brendon there abouts left in tears. And Ryan? He felt beyond terrible. But he wasn't about to lie to the man, no. He couldn't say;
"Oh Bren! I love you too!" Because Brendon would know he was still very much in love with Spencer. Did Brendon not think about that? He must of....Frowning to himself as he walked by himself down the hall he never lifted his gaze from his shoes. They weren't much to look at, normal, black leather lace up's, the same ones he'd had for the last two years and they still looked new.
He sat in Music class, flipping through pages of lyrics and basically keeping to himself. He heard the laughter of Brendon and Spencer, but still never looked up. He was far to embarrassed to look Brendon in the eyes, and was far too scared to even look at Spencer. At least they hadn't noticed him yet and made it over to him, that was the last thing he wanted.
Gently his finger tips ran over the strings on the Guitar. It sounded lovely, and Ryan always enjoyed just making his own music, slowly he rocked side to side, humming to himself as his fingers did the talking.
This is the scent of dead skin on a linoleum floor
This is the scent of quarantine wings in a hospital
It's not so pleasant
And it's not so conventional
It sure as hell ain't normal
But we deal, we deal
The anesthetic never set in and I'm wondering where
The apathy and urgency is that I thought I phoned in
It's not so pleasant.
And it's not so conventional
It sure as hell ain't normal
But we deal, we deal
Just sit back, just sit back
Just sit back and relax
Just sit back, just sit back
Just sit back and relapse again
His eyes were closed as he sang softly to himself, Nothing but his words and the gently strums of his guitar. He always felt at peace when he was doing something musical, always felt happy and inspired. Everything bad always slipped away, even if only for a few moments.
Opening his eyes he found Spencer standing in front of him. He frowned and looked down.
"There something that you want, Spence?" he asked softly, sliding his guitar back into it's case. Spencer only stood there, and he couldn't grasp the look on his face. He was either in shock, or worried. And he hoped the other was just worried. Brendon did have a rather large mouth, what if he'd slipped and told him of their...
"Nothing..." he muttered,
"Where have you been...I don't remember the last time we hung out, Ross"
Ryan chuckled sarcastically and rolled his eyes,
"Probably because you spend every dying moment with your girlfriend" Ryan looked to Spencer who just stood there, with his hurt look on his face, Ryan had hit a pain spot, and now he felt terrible about it.
"I was just fucking asking, Ryan. Don't have to be such a jerk" Spencer shook his head and turned around, walking back towards Brendon. Brendon looked up as Spencer returned to him, he knew Ryan had said something to Spencer, as Brendon's eyes looked directly at Ryan, he shook his head.
Ryan only teared up and turned away, collecting his things, he left the room. With the teacher not even noticing.
He hadn't even made it half way home when Brendon ran up behind him, Ryan didn't stop. He wouldn't stop for Brendon. Brendon had ignored him for 3 whole days, and how was it considered Ryan's fault when Brendon knew he wouldn't say it back.
But then again...maybe Ryan hadn't of answered with,
"You're kidding me, right?"
He stopped in his tracks and turned to find Brendon right there. Staring at him.
"What the fuck do you want Brendon?" He didn't hold back how loud he was speaking, only held his stare at Brendon.
"You've ignored me for days, and now what? What the hell do you /want/?" Brendon just looked back to Ryan and shrugged, biting his lip.
"You're upset....I just wanted to make sure you were okay" he whispered. Biting his lip, Brendon looked down, his eyes were slightly glassy, and his hands were now dug into his jean pockets.
"Oh..." Ryan frowned, finding himself moving towards Brendon, his hands cupping his face.
"Thank you, Brenn..." he said softly, biting on his own lip as his fingers grazed along the others cheek bone.
"I think we should talk...about the other day...don't you?" He asked softly, Brendon nodded hesitantly, and then they slowly walked towards Ryan's house, in silence.
"Oh Bren! I love you too!" Because Brendon would know he was still very much in love with Spencer. Did Brendon not think about that? He must of....Frowning to himself as he walked by himself down the hall he never lifted his gaze from his shoes. They weren't much to look at, normal, black leather lace up's, the same ones he'd had for the last two years and they still looked new.
He sat in Music class, flipping through pages of lyrics and basically keeping to himself. He heard the laughter of Brendon and Spencer, but still never looked up. He was far to embarrassed to look Brendon in the eyes, and was far too scared to even look at Spencer. At least they hadn't noticed him yet and made it over to him, that was the last thing he wanted.
Gently his finger tips ran over the strings on the Guitar. It sounded lovely, and Ryan always enjoyed just making his own music, slowly he rocked side to side, humming to himself as his fingers did the talking.
This is the scent of dead skin on a linoleum floor
This is the scent of quarantine wings in a hospital
It's not so pleasant
And it's not so conventional
It sure as hell ain't normal
But we deal, we deal
The anesthetic never set in and I'm wondering where
The apathy and urgency is that I thought I phoned in
It's not so pleasant.
And it's not so conventional
It sure as hell ain't normal
But we deal, we deal
Just sit back, just sit back
Just sit back and relax
Just sit back, just sit back
Just sit back and relapse again
His eyes were closed as he sang softly to himself, Nothing but his words and the gently strums of his guitar. He always felt at peace when he was doing something musical, always felt happy and inspired. Everything bad always slipped away, even if only for a few moments.
Opening his eyes he found Spencer standing in front of him. He frowned and looked down.
"There something that you want, Spence?" he asked softly, sliding his guitar back into it's case. Spencer only stood there, and he couldn't grasp the look on his face. He was either in shock, or worried. And he hoped the other was just worried. Brendon did have a rather large mouth, what if he'd slipped and told him of their...
"Nothing..." he muttered,
"Where have you been...I don't remember the last time we hung out, Ross"
Ryan chuckled sarcastically and rolled his eyes,
"Probably because you spend every dying moment with your girlfriend" Ryan looked to Spencer who just stood there, with his hurt look on his face, Ryan had hit a pain spot, and now he felt terrible about it.
"I was just fucking asking, Ryan. Don't have to be such a jerk" Spencer shook his head and turned around, walking back towards Brendon. Brendon looked up as Spencer returned to him, he knew Ryan had said something to Spencer, as Brendon's eyes looked directly at Ryan, he shook his head.
Ryan only teared up and turned away, collecting his things, he left the room. With the teacher not even noticing.
He hadn't even made it half way home when Brendon ran up behind him, Ryan didn't stop. He wouldn't stop for Brendon. Brendon had ignored him for 3 whole days, and how was it considered Ryan's fault when Brendon knew he wouldn't say it back.
But then again...maybe Ryan hadn't of answered with,
"You're kidding me, right?"
He stopped in his tracks and turned to find Brendon right there. Staring at him.
"What the fuck do you want Brendon?" He didn't hold back how loud he was speaking, only held his stare at Brendon.
"You've ignored me for days, and now what? What the hell do you /want/?" Brendon just looked back to Ryan and shrugged, biting his lip.
"You're upset....I just wanted to make sure you were okay" he whispered. Biting his lip, Brendon looked down, his eyes were slightly glassy, and his hands were now dug into his jean pockets.
"Oh..." Ryan frowned, finding himself moving towards Brendon, his hands cupping his face.
"Thank you, Brenn..." he said softly, biting on his own lip as his fingers grazed along the others cheek bone.
"I think we should talk...about the other day...don't you?" He asked softly, Brendon nodded hesitantly, and then they slowly walked towards Ryan's house, in silence.
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