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Frank: Thursday

"Can you believe it's so close to Summer break? Prom, and the Florida trip as well!" Mikey exclaimed happily, beaming at us.
I remembered, Florida, I still hadn't given my parents that permission slip yet... That trip sounded good too, we were going with the year below too so that meant Mikey would come.

"Eugh!" Gerard pouted, "Dancing! With girls!" I laughed - only a nine year old kid or gay dude would say that. My nine year old...
"You should go with Stacey!" I joked.
"Pffft, I'm going, but not with a date I think." Gee replied.
I pretended to cry, "Well I haven't been asked!" I hid in Mikey's shoulder "Let me go with you, I'm begging!" He snorted and pushed me gently off, "Different Prom nights, genius."

That day I felt fine again so I walked home with Gee.
"Besides, If they don't leave you alone it's because you are showing fear!" Gerard was making pointless and irrelevant hand movements while explaining how to fend off the guys... But I couldn't tell him I feel worse after these kinda talks (It makes me more pessimistic and I'm pretty optimistic for a pessimist!)I've handled my fair share of abuse, my body still showed it but my smile concealed it well. Maybe I had forgotten a lot but I have too much to thinm about most days to reminisce.
"Thanks." I was about to unlock my front door when Gerard grabbed me, locking me in a long kiss I didn't want really, though I did appreciate it.
"My Mom will pick us up tommorrow. See ya."

Everything was fine until I got immersed in my old life. But I came to Belleville and met Gerard, who washed away some of the pain. It still lingers though. And for both our sakes I want to be rid of my past few years and concentrate on now and us. I owe alot to him already, I should be open to his actions, like a....ragdoll?
One day I'll never need a brave face, and it will be because of him.

I revisited the most recent attack on me. It left nasty physical scars on me, they hadn't healed up yet. Yet, it wasn't the worst assault on me. I thought about it when I was safe and alone at night...


It was after school and I was in a bathroom cubicle, hiding. I had done alot to piss of the 'important' community and 4 of the guys were going to be expelled because of me. I couldn't take thier stupid raves any longer! I knew they'd end up getting me. I prayed they wouldn't try and gang-rape me again. That was humiliatiing. In front of 4 people they just.. Violated me. It hurt and burned every inch of my body. Like I was nothing to them but a disposable body. I got shaky even thinking about it, it put me off getting too close sexually with people and I was sure it always would. It only made strangers that more scary to me.

My breathing was deep and heavy. My hands shook, my pulse echoing inside me. What had I done? They'll murder me! No more telling the truth. That always makes it worse... No matter even if they're trying to help. I've had a psycologist not even believe me before.
Then the door to the bathroom creaked open.
"Frankie." my once-friend Stuart chided teasingly. Stuart, Ricky, Tommy and creepy Dominic were here to get me as promied. They were all there and tapped on all the cubicle doors to find me.
One of them kicked at my cubicle door and, of course, the crappy lock broke. I saw all four each holding a knife of some sort. Dominic was the psycho of the whole school. He was the one that had raped me a year before. I felt sick whenever I saw his face and I felt sick when I looked at myself.

I flinched. "No." It was a barely audible whimper. Ricky pulled me out. "What was that?" he asked. I covered my face and was kicked in the stomach. I managed not to cry out.
"Get his wrists!" Dominic commanded. Rick and Stuart held my wrists and pushed me to the white tiled wall. I didn't bother kicking out. I'd only be punished more.
"Let me go!" I protested weakly, in vain.
"You can fuck that!" Tommy snarled and landed several punches to my chest, winding me. Someone pulled at my hair and Dominic touched the end of his switch-blade to my throat and held it there, letting a tiny bead of blood creep out from where it had perched. I winced and took shallow breaht so as not to push further into the cold metal.

"Other side." Dominic said dissmissively. I stared with one eye at the cold wall that I was turned to face. I tensed and and prepared myself for some mortifying beating.

Slash. The warm blade cut trough my back and I screeched. Someone forced thier hand into my mouth, Stuart maybe. They traced a long line down my back, a deep one and I could feel the cold spreading through my body. I began jerking around involuntarily and was only restrained further.

"You like that, asshole?" Tommy said triumphantly. "Gettin' them arrested?"
I broke out in tears for the second cut. And the 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th... I thought the pain would knock me out dead, it stang and I could feel my skin tearing and ripping, some cuts brought slowly uopn me, dragging out the pain that accompained my screams.
Dominic laughed at his handiwork and added more cuts.
"Rape him!" Stuart muttered. Ricky and Tommy encouraged Dom and they laughed coldly.

"No way, we're just gonna be messing him up a little tonight." Dominic concluded. He spat on me. I began to struggle and was turned to face them again. I lay my head back to rest, watching them. My fresh cuts stung like hell touching the wall.
"You little fucker!" Tommy kicked me in the balls, then I I couldn't look them in thier dark eyes, it hurt to just have to face them. I was dropped to the floor and after a couple minutes of kicking me about, abandoned. The room spun around me. Who would find me this time? Just left bleeding there like some worthless toy that the kid owner had got fed-up of.