FicWad

The feel of silk (caress #2)
By kira

Author's notes: This is a series of thirty plus caresses done for Live Journal's 30 caresses community featuring Sesshomaru and an older Rin...

I have also decided to write one story, using each caress as a chapter title instead of thirty separate ones.


Sesshomaru found that searching for a getaway was a rather pleasant experience in his humble opinion, and he was sure that Rin was enjoying it as well. So as they wandered the western lands they took the time to explore and experience things in a way that they never had before. Instead of skirting the human village, they decided to travel through it, even though Sesshomaru had severe misgivings about doing so. He hadn't survived as long as he did by passing through them unless he had no choice and now that he had Rin with him, he developed a strong aversion to them. To him, the human settlements belonged to the realm of his younger brother Inuyasha and he preferred to keep it that way. Besides, things never ended up well for the humans anyway whenever he was around and lately he had felt a need to honor his father's dying wishes by staying away from anything human.

The reason behind that need turned around to face him. Rin had picked up a bolt of silk, and was holding it out for him to admire. "Isn't this beautiful?" she asked as she gently caressed it with her hand. "I think it would make a beautiful kimono for you," she said softly, her voice as soft as the silk she held, while the merchant droned on in the background, extolling the beauty of the many silks he had to sell and how they could be hers for the asking.

Sesshomaru gave her a barely perceptible shrug, and smiling, Rin turned to the merchant and said, "Arigatou."

Having had enough of the man, Sesshomaru had started slowly walking away as he was tired of the humans and their ways. He could not wait to leave this village behind and the sound of his hurried steps told Rin it was time to leave. Before the man even had a chance to tell her how much it was going to cost, Rin had turned and walked away, the bolt of silk carefully cradled in her arms. "Oi! You little thief! Get back here! Somebody, stop them..." the man trailed off nervously when he saw Sesshomaru's icy stare and Rin's puzzled one as they paused and turned to face him.

The tall taiyoukai quirked an eyebrow at the merchant, "This Sesshomaru heard you say we could have it."

"I said no such thing! Besides, you never let me finish!!" the man cried, feeling braver by the minute as a crowd started to gather. "Oi! You two, take these thieves away!!" he yelled after spotting a couple of the local daimyo's men in the crowd.

The two samurai hurried forward, swords drawn, the crowd parting before them. "What's going on here?" the older of the two asked.

"These two," the merchant pointed, "are trying to steal from me!!"

"That's not true! He said we could have it!" Rin cried.

"Liar! I said no such thing!" the merchant countered.

"You did -"

"Rin," Sesshomaru said quietly and she instantly bit off her argument. Looking over at Sesshomaru, and catching the look on his face, Rin knew the merchant was as good as dead. "What did you call her?" Sesshomaru said softly.

"Liar...I called her a liar because that's what you are...liars and thieves!" the merchant sputtered.

"This Sesshomaru thought so." In the blink of an eye, Sesshomaru had moved to grab the frightened merchant by the throat. Lifting him off the ground, Sesshomaru slowly started to squeeze until he heard a shriek coming from behind. Looking over his shoulder, he saw that one of the samurai now held a struggling Rin in his grip. "Let her go," he said softly, a low growl being the only thing that betrayed his anger. Flinging the merchant aside as if he were nothing, Sesshomaru turned and prepared to draw the Tensaiga. "Let her go," he repeated a bit more forcibly. When the samurai refused, the taiyoukai instead flicked his light whip at their feet. "This Sesshomaru said to let her go!" His eyes flashed red as the wind started picking up around him.

The assembled crowd now cowered in fear when they realized the beautiful man and his servant girl were really a demon and they wondered if she were his lover.

"Could it be you're the demon's whore? Is that why he's so angry?" the samurai hissed in Rin's ear as he pressed the blade of his wakizashi against her throat. "I'm going to kill you and then your lover!" Ever so gently like a lover's caress, the samurai drew the short sword across Rin's throat, scratching the delicate surface and causing a tiny drop of blood to seep from the wound. Rin, heedless of the sting, was more afraid of what Sesshomaru would do to the village than losing her life.

"Iie! Sesshomaru-sama, don't!" she cried out to him. "If you kill me he'll destroy your village before you can even lay a hand on him. Please, just let me go and I will take him away from here ..." she said softly and the relative calm that settled over her frightened her captor more than the half transformed youkai before him.

The villagers, who minutes before had assembled to see justice done to the two thieves, now fled screaming in terror as Sesshomaru continued to grow larger and more dog like. Only Rin knew he was hesitating and holding back out of fear of hurting her, and once again she pleaded with her captor, "Please, soon it will be too late and you all will die."

"Mononoke..." the samurai whispered as fear took hold of him and he loosened his grip on Rin who took advantage of it. Worming her way out of the samurai's grip, and heedless of his turning and fleeing, Rin ran towards Sesshomaru who was now more dog-like than human-looking and twice as big. Throwing her arms around his foreleg, Rin called his name softly, "Sesshomaru-sama, please stop, I'm fine." Feeling him tense, she let go and started crying. "Sesshomaru-sama..."

Seconds later Rin felt his arm around her before he gently pushed her away. Grabbing her chin, Sesshomaru looked deeply into her eyes. "Daijoubu?"

"Hai! Daijoubu, Sesshomaru-sama, I'm fine," Rin said through her tears.

Quirking an eyebrow at her, Sesshomaru deadpanned, "This Sesshomaru thinks now would be a good time for a getaway, ne?" and Rin laughed.

"Hai!" she replied as he gathered his youki around him and they floated up on a cloud of pink mist. They soared high above the countryside and Rin was reminded of the time she was little and she had gone off to gather a rare plant to save Jaken's life, only to fall from her precarious perch on the cliff. She could still recall the fear of falling to her death only to be scooped up by her beloved Sesshomaru. It was not the first time he had saved her and she had the feeling that he would always be there for her as long as she lived or as long as she wanted to live. It was a childish feeling that over time had deepened into romantic love and while she was never sure if he loved her the same way or even if he was really capable of doing so, she found it really did not matter to her.

They flew on for a few hundred ri until Rin, feeling tired from the after effects of the earlier excitement, asked if they could stop and find somewhere to rest for the night. So they set down in the forest below, and as they looked around for a place to spend the night, Sesshomaru had a strong feeling of déjà vu. Ignoring Rin for the moment, he pushed his way through the forest's undergrowth until he came to a grassy clearing. About a hundred paces in front of him were the crumbled remains of a stone wall and he knew he was home. Memories came flooding back as he wondered why he had returned here of all places. The sharp snap of a twig breaking brought his attention back to the present and turning towards it, he saw Rin emerge from between the saplings that bordered the forest.

"Where are we?" Rin asked softly. "What's wrong, Sesshomaru-sama?" She came quickly towards him and stood by his side, alternately looking up at him and the surrounding area. "Daijoubu? Are you alright? Is this a place of bad memories for you?"

Sesshomaru glanced down at her, closing his eyes and sighing softly, he gave his head a little shake. "Iie, it is not." He looked up again and out towards the ruined wall. They stood in companionable silence and before it stretched too long between them, he said softly in what was barely a whisper, "This Sesshomaru is fine for this Sesshomaru is home."

"Hontoni, Sesshomaru-sama, you mean it when you say this place is, was your home?" Rin stepped forward and lightly caressed the crumbling wall. "You really lived here?" She turned and smiled at him. "You really brought me here, to your home? Domou arigatou gozaimasu, Sesshomaru-sama," Rin said as she bowed deeply before him. "What a wonderful present you have given me..." she trailed off softly as she straightened up. "I only wish I could remember exactly where I had lived so that I could show you too. Unfortunately I cannot remember where that was..." She looked upset and his heart went out to her.

"It is alright, Rin." He reached out and gently caressed her cheek with the back of his finger. "This Sesshomaru understands and appreciates the thought."

"Arigatou," she whispered and taking his hand in hers, she raised it to her lips and kissed his fingers.

Sesshomaru, refusing to let go of her hand, mirrored her actions. "Come let's go and see if anything's still standing."

"Hai!" Rin said as her mood lifted, and still holding his hand, she let him lead her towards the palace's entrance.

He briefly let go of her in order to remove the broken remains of the lintel, which barred their way. Taking her hand again, he led her inside the main courtyard and as he eyed her out of the corner of his eye, he wished she could have seen the palace in its glory. Stepping over the rubble and the grass that pushed its way in uninvited, he described what it would have been like to return home when his father was alive. "My mother would stand over there," he pointed to an area where a tall sapling now stood, "and she would be flanked by the palace guards. My father would come and greet her formally, and together they would walk the palace halls towards his rooms, until Inuyasha's mother came to live here. Then he would greet Ningen-hime, that's what everyone called the Lady Izayoi, formally before leaving both women behind. My father would then head to the bathhouse to wash the stains of travel away and then he would nap, until he awoke some hours later, feeling refreshed. That's when trouble started because both women hoped to be summoned to his rooms and depending on whom he missed the most at the time, it was either one or the other who was granted that boon."

"Hai..." Rin murmured, entranced. She could not believe her luck; not only was she here at her beloved's home, but he was actually telling her about his past and it was all she could do not to start crying in happiness.

They walked on through the rubble, Sesshomaru pointing out various places of interest, and telling Rin little stories that made the ruins come alive for her. Before he knew it they were outside the room he had shared with Tsuki and he could still see the room as they had left it, despite the moss and the new growth. Unable to speak, he stood there in silence, imagining he could see Tsuki the way it must have been that morning. He saw her chasing Inuyasha around the room as she tried to dress him in the fire rat robes he was so fond of. Closing his eyes, he wished he could have gone back to that time and told the servant that he would go see his mother later, if only to have a couple of hours longer with Tsuki before she died. He still felt a lot of grief and guilt over her death and while Rin, just by being Rin, did much to ease that pain, he still felt it.
Rin, sensing his mood, gently squeezed his hand and leaned into him. Sesshomaru, returning the gesture, also wrapped his fluff around her in a furry embrace. Not wanting to let the silence stretch too long between them, and not liking the melancholy that surrounded Sesshomaru, Rin broke it. "Sesshomaru-sama, was this your mother's room?" she asked softly, hoping against hope that it was someone else's.

"Iie, this room belonged to..." he paused, unsure of how to continue as they stepped inside.

"Who?" she prompted.

Sesshomaru looked at her and went on, "Tsukikage-hime. She was my," he faltered, "my friend and she looked after my brother."

"Oh...what was she like?"

"She was..." Sesshomaru trailed off, his mixed emotions concerning Tsuki and Rin making him feel uncertain about how much to tell her.

"Like what...?" Rin gently prompted.

"She was," he paused again to gather his thoughts. "She was very much like you..." he said, and he was very surprised when no feelings of betrayal to Tsuki's memory washed over him.

"Oh," Rin said with a smile. "I wish I could meet her. Is she gone because of what happened here? Or is she mad at you? Perhaps if we could find her, we could explain that you didn't mean it..." Rin said hopefully, although one look at his face dashed those hopes.

He walked slowly around the remains of the room, thinking how pleased Tsuki would have been to know that wildflowers now grew where they had spent so much time together. "Gomen, Rin, but Tsukikage-hime is dead," he said as he turned around and looked at her sadly.

"Please forgive me! I didn't know!" She closed the distance between them, and reaching up, she gently caressed his cheek.

Sesshomaru laid his hand over hers. "It is alright, Rin, there is nothing to be upset about. Besides, how can you know about her if this Sesshomaru never told you?" He quirked an eyebrow at her and she felt a little better as his mood seemed to lift a bit.

Rin nodded. "Hai...If you wish to talk about her, I'll listen and I promise I won't interrupt," she said, sounding very much like her younger self, which briefly made him smile.

"There is nothing to talk about," he said sharply, feeling a pang of guilt over it, but whether it was for Tsuki or Rin, Sesshomaru did not know. He sighed softly and looked away.

"Hai..." she said softly, trying hard not to dwell on the mixed emotions that threatened to overwhelm her. Rin also longed to be away from this room, for she could see it upset him to be here and she wondered just how much of a friend Tsukikage was. "Come, I'd like it very much if you showed me where your rooms were."

"Hai..." Sesshomaru turned on his heel and she followed him back in the direction they had come before moving towards an area Sesshomaru called the men's quarters.

"Our rooms were higher up in this building," he said as they stood before the charred remains of a gutted and half fallen-in tower. "My rooms were near the top. I had two floors to my room. The lower floor of which was quite bare. In fact it was little more than an empty room with my tansu in it. It was shaped like stairs and this Sesshomaru used it to get to the upper floor. That is where this Sesshomaru kept most of my things."

Rin could see he was happier here and it pleased her as well. "Too bad we can't go in there like we did with your brother's room," she said softly and he nodded in reply. "So your father's room would be at the top?"

"Iie, most people assumed that, but it wasn't the case. Chichi-ue's rooms were inside, surrounded by his most trusted men. He had no windows there, or even a little courtyard, that was farther back where his study was. There he had a little garden as well as a smaller inner chamber where he would often entertain Haha-ue or Ningen-hime," he said wryly and Rin felt a blush heating up her cheeks.

"I see..." she murmured, trying to cover up her embarrassment, and Sesshomaru was painfully reminded of Tsuki. Changing the subject rather quickly, she said, "Is there anything beyond the rubble over there?"

"This Sesshomaru doesn't know. Come, let's see," he said, leading the way.

They walked around the ruined buildings that in some places were now patches of bamboo forest or the overgrown remnants of Uekiya's gardens, while others were simply piles of broken masonry and rotting wood. As they walked around the petrified remains of a large pile of charred wood, Rin spotted what was the only building still standing. "What's that, Sesshomaru-sama?"

He chuckled low in his throat and it was a sound of genuine amusement. "This Sesshomaru believes that is the bathhouse."

"Hontoni? Can we go inside and use it? I would love a nice warm bath right now, and I'd even settle for a cold one if that's all there is."

"Hai. So would this Sesshomaru." His lips twitched upwards in a brief smile. "There is no need to worry about a cold bath, Rin; my father supposedly built his palace here for two reasons. One is that it was easily defensible; the other being there is a hot spring here. He had the bathhouse built around it."

Rin giggled. "I like the way your father thinks, Sesshomaru-sama."

He looked at her in surprise.

"Hai. Despite having....ummm, your mother and Inuyasha-san's, he must have thought very highly of your mother to build her a bathhouse so she could enjoy her baths in peace...Look we've nearly come full circle, isn't that where you said she had her rooms?" Rin pointed to a broken wall and the overgrown garden just beyond it.

Sesshomaru nodded. "Hai, those were her rooms and next to them were her friend's." He smiled ruefully. "Although, I doubt very much if my mother would say she was highly thought of. And yet I'm sure my father loved her just as much as she loved him, only differently. My mother was a strong capable person like this bamboo, very beautiful to look at and yet as strong as tempered steel." He ran his hand down the trunk of the tall grassy plant.

"And Inuyasha-san's mother I suppose was as soft and fleeting as the flowers, ne?" Rin used the silence to think. "Sesshomaru-sama, your father's heart was big enough to love both women and your mother was kind enough to allow him Izayoi-hime...Perhaps both women fulfilled a need that one woman alone couldn't."

Sesshomaru looked at her sharply for her words echoed a sentiment Tsuki had held concerning the two women. "Since when have you been this wise?"

Rin looked away, uncomfortable under his scrutiny. "It's something Kagome-chan once said. And we weren't talking about your mother either," she giggled. "We were talking about the priestess Kikyou-sama, and Inuyasha-san and how Kagome-chan used to feel jealous of her. Well, it wasn't exactly what she had said, but did say something about Kikyou-sama paving the way for her to come and warm Inuyasha-san's heart..." she trailed off uncertainly. "Wait! I remember now! Sango-chan was also talking about her husband and how bad he used to be when they first met. It seems Miroku-san was always chasing after pretty girls wherever they went and how much she hated it, until she realized that they were fulfilling a need. It seems Miroku-san felt his life was very uncertain and that he needed a son to carry on after him should he die unexpectedly. And until he realized that Sango-chan was exactly what he needed to fulfill those needs, he kept after them. And then one day after a bit of danger, he realized that Sango had come to warm his heart and he was happy and finally at peace." Rin paused in her ramblings as she tried to remember everything Sango and Kagome had said.

"So you think both women made my father happy?" Sesshomaru asked, a puzzled frown creasing his forehead. "Or was it the disharmony of his house that made him happy...?" he wondered out loud. "My father was a great warrior, could it be that the conflicts at home were a substitute for the conflicts on the battlefield?" he said half to her and half to himself.

"It's possible...but since I never knew your father, I can't really say."

"Hai...and arigatou, Rin, you have given this Sesshomaru some insight that had long eluded me. This Sesshomaru appreciates it." He nodded at her and changing the subject, he asked, "So, would you like to see if the bathhouse is still functional?"

"Hai! This Rin would love that!" she said, playfully teasing him by mimicking his habit of referring to himself in the third person.

"Then come," he simply said as he headed towards it. The old cedar structure had surprisingly held up through the years with the only casualty being its door and a few holes in the roof.

Sesshomaru entered its dark interior followed by Rin, pausing briefly to let their eyes adjust to the gloom. He led the way to the area where they could undress and hang up their clothes.

"Here, let me help you, Sesshomaru-sama," Rin said when she noticed him tugging at the tassels that held his armor together. Her deft fingers quickly untied it. Minutes later he was standing there, his kimono open and hanging free of his hakama while Rin was busy with her own clothes. He watched as she untied her apron, folded it and set it down next to the small bundle of possessions she wore tied to her waist. She followed it with her obi, before shrugging out of her kimono which she hung up on a mossy peg. Turning to face him, Rin smiled impishly at him as she untied her habaki, loosening them to pool briefly at her feet. She stood naked before him, letting him eye her up and down, before demurely bending to retrieve her leggings. These she folded, neatly placing them next to the rest of her things.

Rin closed the distance between them, moving to stand behind him. She gently embraced him, enjoying the feel of the silk against her naked body as she pressed against him. He tugged on his hakama ties, releasing the knot and letting them fall to the floor. Sesshomaru breathed in deeply the scent of her arousal, feeling the warmth of his own desire pooling deep within his belly, which surprised him. Stepping out of them, he turned to face her, before pulling her into his embrace. They stood there, as close as they could get without coupling, enjoying the physical contact they had with each other. Sesshomaru kissed her long and hard as Rin pulled him closer. Since she was shorter than he was, his swollen manhood was caught between her belly and his; her subtle movements gently teasing him, and moving him that much closer to spending his lust.

"Rin..." he whispered huskily in her ear, "This Sesshomaru needs to take you now or it will be too late..."

"Hai...but how...and where...?" she whispered.

"This Sesshomaru..." the rest was lost as he groaned in pleasure.

"Sit...I'll straddle your hips and then I can see you..."

"Hai..." Sesshomaru shuffled backwards, pulling Rin along with him until his legs hit the back of the room's other bench. He sat, reluctantly breaking contact with her, although not for long. Rin carefully climbed onto to his lap, before sheathing him deep inside herself. Their coupling was quick and hurried as if they hadn't been together physically in a long time. Rin briefly cradled his face against her breasts, before doing all the moving as he could not thrust into her from this position. She still felt little shivers of pleasure, as she shifted her hips in time with his breathing. The warmth followed by the cold of his breath against her skin made the warmth in her belly all the more pleasurable and she very quickly started to climax. Just as she reached her peak, he managed to thrust violently into her as she came down and minutes later she felt him spend his lust in time with her own. They remained as one, her fingers entwined in the soft silkiness of his hair, his arm wrapped protectively around her. The only sounds, now heard in the old bathhouse, were the sounds of their breathing as they basked in the warmth of their love for each other.

"Arigatou, Sesshomaru-sama," Rin whispered lovingly in his ear.

"Douitashimashite..." he murmured softly as Rin took his face in her hands and kissed him.

"Gomen, Sesshomaru-sama, but I think I should get up and bathe now."

"Hai...and I will join you. But first I need some help."

"Oh! Gomen nasai!" Rin cried as she got up. Sesshomaru stood as well and turning away, he leaned back slightly, so that she could slip his kimono off his shoulders. Rin removed the two of them as if they were one, before shaking them out and hanging them up on a vacant peg. She also bent and retrieved his hakama, folding them neatly and setting them down next to her pile of clothes. Reaching for her cloth bundle, Rin untied it, and unfolding the cloth square on the bench, she rummaged around her small pile of possessions until she found the small bag of rice bran that she used for bathing. Picking it up, she flashed him a sunny smile, which gave Sesshomaru a sharp pang of guilt.

As Rin headed over to the hot spring, the bucket she had found in hand, Sesshomaru sat there trying to sort out his feelings. He felt torn, as if he was being unfaithful to both women and he wondered if his father had ever felt the same way. And yet he knew there were differences between himself and his father, the main one being his father never had to deal with a memory.

What Sesshomaru could not figure out was why he felt so unfaithful to Tsuki. He had been coupling with Rin off and on since the first blush of her womanhood. Thinking back, he remembered it had taken about a week full of subtle seduction on both their parts before they gave in and allowed nature to take its course. He had sent Jaken on a little mission, and during the week they were alone, Rin had somehow made him feel young again. Young and definitely interested in what she had to offer him. He remembered waking up to her staring at him, a mischievous smile on her face. He also recalled it wasn't long before she was naked, letting his hand wander over her body, the sweet scent of her arousal urging him to take her. Instead, he touched and teased her, paying close attention to the soft silky feel of her untouched flower. He took his time, giving her pleasure with his fingers, trailing kisses down the length of her body, before drinking the nectar from her flower. It pleased him that she was enjoying herself, in fact so much so that it was several minutes before it penetrated her lust fogged brain that he wanted her to roll over onto her hands and knees so he could mount her. He recalled that he had hurt her when he had sheathed himself inside her; breaking his rhythm and making him want to stop. But she bravely told him to go on and he finished quickly. He remembered too, laying in the grass afterwards, Rin curled up on his right, crying softly on his chest. He let her cry herself out, his soft apologies and gentle kisses to the top of her head adding to her tears until the sobs gave way to hiccups. But what he remembered surprising him the most about it, was she was just as eager to do it again as Tsuki had been once she had composed herself. In fact Rin turned out to be more eager to pillow with him than Tsuki had ever been. Rin also did not care in the least that Jaken was around, and Sesshomaru wondered if the danger of being caught by the little toad added to her pleasure. Although, once he realized that Rin had told Jaken about their relationship, he sent the little green guy back to his own people, with much crying on both Rin's and Jaken's part. It was bad enough that Tsuki had probably told Ningen-hime her pillow secrets, but he drew the line at Rin telling Jaken.

Watching Rin bathe, for she had returned with a bucket of water from the hot spring, Sesshomaru found his thoughts drifting towards Tsuki, especially when she poured the bucket over her head. As the tiny rivulets of water coursed down her body, Sesshomaru was reminded of the first time he had pillowed with Tsuki. It had been raining and he found her standing outside soaked to the skin in the old plum orchard. She was to be given to his father's friend Takahara, a situation that Tsuki, not to mention himself, was unhappy about. And so they wound up taking shelter in an old abandoned tea house. What made the memory so vivid for Sesshomaru was it had also been his first time. He remembered stripping out of their wet clothes, sitting naked on the floor and if not for the chance arrival of a spider, they most probably would have done nothing except bemoan their fate as star crossed lovers. But Tsuki had surprised him by asking that he take her maidenhead and in doing so, he inadvertently made her his mate. With her death came the loss of everything except her memory, which he clung to throughout his life. He let his anguish over it become bitterness and hatred towards his brother, who had nothing more to do with her death than being the last person to see his beloved Tsuki alive. With a start Sesshomaru realized that Tsuki would have been very disappointed in him. And yet, he had the feeling she would have welcomed Rin as the one who finally tempered his anger. Still, he could not shake the feeling that both women would have been jealous of each other and that any chance of friendship they might have had, would have been dashed by his spending his time with one or the other of them as echoes of his father's dealing with the two most important women in his life made him feel as though he was no better than his father. Sesshomaru felt very guilty about coupling with Rin and he wondered if it had more to do with the place they were in than any sense of disloyalty to Tsuki's memory until a little voice in his head reminded him of all the times he had opportunities to be with other women and how he remained true. Sesshomaru shook his head in an effort to clear it of such disturbing thoughts and failing miserably, he sighed softly and wished he could spend time with his father if only to ask him man to man how he dealt with such things.

"Sesshomaru-sama...? Are you alright? You don't look so good," Rin said, quietly pulling him out of his reverie. "If you're tired, I'll wash you quickly and then we can go soak for a bit..." she trailed off softly and squatted at his feet when he ignored her. "Sesshomaru-sama, I'll even find us something to eat, and we can always go to sleep afterwards..."

Sesshomaru sighed and smiled weakly at her, however briefly. "Hai...that would be nice. This Sesshomaru appreciates your kindness, Rin."

Smiling happily, Rin stood up and gently tugged his hand. "Come, you can sit on the stool over there." She let go of him, picked up the full bucket of water she had been carrying, and turning on her heel in a way that mimicked his own actions towards her, she walked away fully expecting him to follow, which he did. After he sat on the low bathing stool, Rin apologized before upturning the bucket of water over his head. Her giggles made him smile the way they often did as he sat there letting her do all the work. Rin gathered his heavy hair together, twisting it slightly and tossing it over his shoulder before rubbing the bag of rice bran over his shoulders and back. "You're very tense, Sesshomaru-sama," she murmured softly, "Perhaps we should shorten our stay here. I know it's your home and I'm happy you brought me here, but you haven't really been happy at all since we arrived. Are you sure this place doesn't hold any bad memories for you?"

Sesshomaru nodded, touched by her concern, and yet he was unable to tell her anything more than stories he had told her earlier. What should I tell you? That I feel torn by my feelings for Tsuki and my feelings for you? That I feel like I'm no better than my father? That I feel oddly confused and unable to sort things out? That more than anything I fear hurting you and that I also feel disloyal to a memory which should have long faded?

"Hontoni, Sesshomaru?" she asked, letting the "you're not lying to me, are you?" hang in the air between them. Sighing softly, she set down the little bag of rice bran and began massaging the tension out of his shoulders. Her deft fingers kneaded and rubbed the stress away as she sang softly to herself, smiling when she felt him starting to relax. However, when she bent to plant a little kiss on his shoulder, Rin felt the tension oddly returning. Puzzled, she paused briefly before shrugging and continuing her massage. When she was satisfied that he was as relaxed as he was ever going to be, Rin said softly, "Come, let's go soak the tension away. I bet you'll feel better when you're done." She smiled brightly at him, hoping his mood would lift with the promise of leaving in the morning.

"Hai." He rose in one fluid motion, and waited for her to lead the way. After realizing what he wanted, Rin walked away, swinging her hips as seductively as her innocence would allow. She smiled happily when she heard him chuckle softly, and looking back over her shoulder at him, she was pleased that his mood did lift somewhat. They reached the tiny outdoor hot spring and both were surprised to see night had fallen.

"Look, Sesshomaru-sama," Rin said as she stood on the edge of the onsen, pointing skywards. "The stars are coming out! Aren't they beautiful?"

"Hai..." Sesshomaru murmured softly as he admired the night sky.

Rin, smiling, sat on the edge of the onsen before slipping into its hot water. Even though it was a warm summer's night, the heat of the pool still felt good on her tired muscles. She sighed contentedly, slipping under the water until her chin rested on its calm surface. She watched her beloved walk around the pool until he was far enough away to slip in without disturbing her, before he closed the distance between them.

"You're a good woman, Rin," he said softly and she blushed as she murmured an equally soft "arigatou." He nodded and they sat in companionable silence, watching the stars, before he broke it. "You've been so good to this Sesshomaru, that I have a special treat for you."

Rin's face lit up. "Arigatou, Sesshomaru-sama...I...I honestly don't know what to say..."

"It's alright," he soothed. "This Sesshomaru is going to take you to see the sea."

A puzzled frown settled over her features. "See the sea? What is that, Sesshomaru-sama?"

"On the other side of the palace near to where we will sleep tonight, lies the sea. It is, how do you say...a great amount of water that gently kisses the sand and it is salty like your tears. My father used to say far out in the sea beyond where anyone has the strength to swim lies the palace of the dragon king." He nodded at her questioning look. "When the sea is calm you can also see tiny fish beneath its waters. Then there are the many birds that fly overhead and this Sesshomaru used to chase them when he was a little pup." He chuckled softly at the memory. "Tomorrow it should be just as warm as today, and this Sesshomaru will take you swimming."

"Hontoni, Sesshoamru-sama? Really?"

"Hai. But know this, Rin, as hot as this water is, the sea is just as cold."

"Hai..."

"We will go early in the morning before the sun becomes too hot, so let's go and get dressed. This Sesshomaru will find you something to eat and afterwards we will sleep. You will need to wear only your yukata tomorrow." He grew silent, lost in thought. "Rin, it may be a bit cold at first, but you'll quickly get used it. And the way the waves come at you can be a lot of fun too. If we go out far enough, they will lift us up high enough so that it will feel like we are flying before it gently sets us down."

"Hai..." she said softly as she left his side, before pulling herself out of the onsen. The gentle night breeze felt good on her damp skin, so she didn't bother to dry off. Rin heard a tiny splash, and turning around, she came face to face with her beloved. Giving in to childish impulse, she hugged him tightly before letting go.

"Meet me in Tsuki's room; you know how to find it from here, ne?" Sesshomaru said as she helped him into his hakama.

"Hai," she said softly and he disappeared like a shadow into the night, leaving her to dress, and bring the rest of their belongings back to their room. Rin removed her short sleeveless yukata from her belongs and quickly put it on before gathering everything else up for the short walk to the remains of the women's quarters.

Arriving at the place Sesshomaru called Tsuki's room, Rin set down her bundle and started clearing away some of the leaf litter and debris from the floor. The old tatami mats had long since rotted away, leaving a carpet of moss in their place. Since the moss was very soft, Rin didn't worry about something to sleep on. Besides, she was used to sleeping outdoors in all kinds of weather in many different places, thanks to a half a lifetime spent wandering with the taiyoukai. Rin stood in what would have been the doorway, looking out across the overgrown garden, wondering what was taking Sesshomaru so long, when he detached himself from the surrounding shadows.

"Welcome home, Sesshomaru-sama," she said impishly; a nod and a faint smile his only reply. As he came closer she saw he had caught a couple of rabbits, which he silently handed to her. Rin, taking the hint, set about preparing them for their late dinner. While they were cooking she dug up a couple of lilies from the garden, and added them to the shallow pot. Soon the delicious smell of cooked rabbit filled the air, reminding them both of how hungry they were.

As they ate in silence, Sesshomaru was unpleasantly reminded of the time he and Tsuki shared a bowl of rabbit stew. With a start he realized Tsuki had been with child at the time and he wondered if Rin was in the same state. While he often bemoaned the fact he had no heirs and his brother not only had a son, but two daughters and if Sesshomaru remembered correctly, the former miko who was his brother's mate was big with child again or had she already whelped. His brother had the makings of such a large brood, that Sesshomaru found it hard to keep up with all the pups. And now he wondered if the gods had decided to punish him for his ill treatment of his brother by giving him a hanyou of his own.

Sesshomaru looked over at Rin. She had finished eating and was busy cleaning up and as she approached him, he noticed his food was half eaten, so he quickly wolfed it down and handed her the empty bowl. "Arigatou" they chorused as Rin took the bowl from him. She walked over to the broken fountain in the courtyard and washed up, leaving Sesshomaru alone with his thoughts. Sighing, Sesshomaru wondered if he really wanted the burden of looking after a hanyou as well as Rin. It was bad enough he had taken her as his lover when he was honest with himself about it, but somehow he could not bring himself to end the relationship, for fear of hurting her. And even though she was only a human, Sesshomaru found he did care if he hurt her feelings, which led to this particular impasse. Since there was nothing he could do about it now if she had conceived, Sesshomaru decided he was not going to think about it. Besides, he had enough on his mind to keep him awake that night without adding to it.

"Want to go to sleep now?" Rin said as she came over to sit next to him. She reached out and gently cupped his cheek when she received no response from him, turning his head to face her. "Sesshomaru-sama, I asked if you wanted to go to sleep now and you didn't answer. Are you sure you're feeling alright? If you aren't we don't have to go to the sea. I'm sure there'll be another time when you can show me..."

He reached up, covering her hand with his. "This Sesshomaru is fine, Rin, but he would like to sleep."

"Hai...I thought we could sleep over there," she pointed to a semi-sheltered area of Tsuki's room. "I'll go put my apron down for us to sleep on if you'd like...Iie?" she said when he shook his head at her. "Okay, then let's go sleep. I feel tired too."

They made their way over to where she had pointed and settled down for the night. Sesshomaru felt uneasy when he realized it was the area of Tsuki's quarters that he had spent many a night sleeping peaceful snuggled up next to her. Mentally trying to shrug off his guilt at being with Rin, he settled down and tried to clear his mind for sleep. It was not easy to do either, for after she spread his kimono over him like a blanket, she snuggled up next to him. She laid there, her head pillowed on his chest, hand nestled above his heart, and he realized with a start that she was naked when his hand came to rest on the small of her back. /It is going to be a long night, indeed, /he thought wearily as she murmured good night, her voice as soft as the feel of the silk that covered them.