FicWad

I just want to say thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I'm glad you're all enjoying this story. Also, I'm going on holiday in a few days so there won't be any updates for a couple of weeks. xx

He is a vision. A vision of glitter and sparkles, that is.

He glides towards us wearing the most fabulous purple robes and a pointy golden hat on his head. His robes sparkle as he walks, they should do-it's like someone threw a bucket of gold glitter at him. His feet click on the floor with each step making me wonder whether he is wearing heels.

I simply can't believe it. This is the feared Godfather?

Even though he is flanked by eight hooded vampires, it does nothing for his camp image. He approaches his golden throne and throws himself on it, folding his legs in the most dramatic fashion.

"It said on the bottle it would dry in, like, 60 seconds, but it, like, soooo didn't," he complains. His voice is high-pitched and almost feminine. I'm beginning to suspect he is a girl.

"Come here," he orders to us. "I'm, like, so over this drama."

My mouth is hanging open in shock. I look at Gerard who looks troubled. Mikey seems nervous as well. I just can't believe it. This man can get no gayer even if he tried. How the heck is he the leader of the Vampire Mafia? I was expecting Don Corleone.

We approach his throne slowly and come to stand before him. He is joined by Ulsa and Ulrik who take a seat on either side of him. Ulsa glares at me hatefully while Ulrik is staring at me in a perverted sort of way. Gerard scowls in his direction and blocks me from his view.

"So," says The Godfather. "What drama do I gotta sort out now? Make it snappy. I mean, hello? America's Next Top Model is coming on in half an hour. I can't miss that."

"This won't take long, father," says Ulrik smoothly.

Okay, so he's their father? What planet is this?

Ulsa glares at us. "We all know Gerard is responsible for our beloved brothers appalling condition. No matter what the reason he gave us there is no excuse for violence of that level against another vampire. Now, Gerard was sentenced to be executed today but somehow managed to evade it. I suspect his little human friend had something to do with it, which brings me to another point. He has clearly exposed our world to her, and even more disgustingly, seems to be in love with her. I strongly suggest that he be made an example of-and the girl too. I will not object if Michael is disposed of as well." That said, Ulsa, the bitch, settles back in her chair looking very pleased with herself.

The Godfather, who has been staring at his nails the whole time, looks up at me seeming to notice me for the first time. A huge smile breaks out on his face.

"Like, oh my God!" he squeals. "A human! Better still. A human girl!" He jumps off the throne and literally bounces across the floor until he is in front of me. He gently moves an annoyed Gerard out of the way so he can get a better look at me.

"You are so hot!" He turns back around. "Isn't she hot?" His minions nod. Ulsa looks mutinous. "Your hair needs a wash and you could do with putting some make-up in, but aside from that you are totally gorge!! I could just eat you up!"

Gerard stiffens. The Godfather notices. "Gerard, you know I'm, like, a vegetarian and would never kill her, right?" he says.

"I know, sir," says Gerard somberly.

"Father!" screeches Ulsa suddenly. "You should be punishing them not conversing with them!"

"Hello?" replies The Godfather. "I totally gave Gerard a punishment-even when I didn't want to, and he got away. I can't punish him again, can I? That would be, like, so unfair."

"What about the girl?" hisses Ulsa. "She has been exposed to us."

The Godfather turns back to me. "Hmm, you're right."

He swirls his robe around and marches back to his throne. "Indeed. Rules have been totally broken." Ulsa smirks in satisfaction.

"She is no threat to anyone. I already tried explaining this to your daughter," says Mikey.

"How can we be sure she will keep her mouth shut?" asks Ulrik, sounding bored. "Humans cannot be trusted."

"Your mother is, like, a human," says The Godfather.

My mouth drops open. "What?!" I cry, forgetting I'm not supposed to be talking.

He nods. "Totally, completely human. Trust me, that girl has a temper on her. It's so cute!"

"Let me get this straight," I say. "Your wife is human. So your mother," I point to Ulsa, "is human. That means you're half-vampire, half-human?"

"Yes! My babies are half-breeds!" cries The Godfather happily.

"Where is your wife?" I ask curiously.

"She ran off with the milkman," says The Godfather, shaking his head sadly. "I totally didn't see that coming."

I'm speechless. It's as if I've stepped into another, more crazy world. I shake my head feeling bewildered. "The milkman?"

"I know, right?" he cries. "Dude was butt ugly." The Godfather snaps his fingers. "I totally had him assassinated."

"What about your wife?" I ask quietly.

"Well, she didn't ever want to be a vampire, right? I totally respected her decision all these years. We even had three kids together. So, when she betrayed me, I turned her. She is now one of us. She's gonna live forever for eternity with me whether she likes it or not."

His answer suggests that he is not as harmless as he seems. Now he looks a little crazy to me. I realize we need to get the hell out of here.

"Father," says Ulsa loudly. "What are we to do with them?"

"Let me think!" He wrinkles his nose. "Gerard, come forward." Gerard obeys.

"I have always, like, looked at you as my son. I cannot punish you any further. The gift that you posses is, like, too unique and too precious to throw away, so, you are free to go. You can take Mikey with you. He is of no threat to me or my family."

"And Stella?" asks Gerard quietly. He has gone white.

"Now, as adorable as Stella is, I'm afraid she has, like Ulsa pointed out, seen too much. I'm afraid she cannot leave this place with you. I'm really sorry, sweetheart, but you got's ta die!" He pouts sadly.

"What for?!" I cry. "It's not like I'm going to tell anyone you guys are vampires!"

"We cannot afford to take that risk," snarls Ulsa.

Ulrik gazes at me in such a way a shiver creeps up my spine. "Maybe we won't kill you. I can think of one or two uses for the human," he says lecherously.

"If you lay one finger on her I'll rip you to pieces," snarls Gerard ferociously. Mikey puts a comforting hand on his shoulder but I can see Gerard trembling with rage. I wonder what's going on in the obviously perverted Ulrik's head.

"First of all, dude-eew," I say. "Secondly, I'm going home with Gerard whether you like it or not, so there." That told them.

The Godfather looks delighted. "She's so feisty!" he exclaims. "It's a shame we have to get rid of her."

"That's not fair," I argue. "Your wife is-I mean, was a human. You married her and even had kids with her. Why do I have to die?"

The Godfather looks troubled. "She has a point. It wouldn't be fair, would it?"

Ulsa glares hatefully at me. "The human does not have the mental capabilities that mother did when she was human."

"Dude! Was that an insult?" I ask. "Because I'm about to get pretty damn mad if it was."

Ulsa laughs quietly. "What can you do?"

"Kick your skinny ass all over the place!" I respond.

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" yells The Godfather happily, clapping his hands.

"Enough!" Gerard's voice is icy cold. A hushed silence falls over the room. Even The Godfather looks awed by Gerard's anger.

"I have the utmost respect for you, Marco," he begins seriously.

"Wait!" I interrupt with a giggle. "Your name is Marco?" The guy formally known as The Godfather nods. "Typical."

Gerard clears his throat loudly. I close my mouth.

"Like I was saying," he continues. "I have the utmost respect for you, but your decision concerning Stella is something I do not agree with."

"You would say that," counters Ulsa. "You are in love with her."

"Aah, love," sighs Marco. "The sweetest drug of them all."

"Father," hisses Ulsa in frustration. "Focus."

"Right. Sorry."

"Stella has been aware of our secret for a very long time," says Mikey. "She has told no one. She may be a little annoying at times, but I don't believe she will ever betray our trust."

"That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me," I say, touched.

"She is cute," says Marco approvingly. "You've got a nice behind, girl. Give me a twirl!"

I look at Gerard who smiles apologetically. I twirl around for Marco thinking how freaking weird this situation is. Usually if someone asked me to give them "a twirl" I'd flip them the bird instead, but considering my ass is literally on the line here I'll do so quietly.

"Girl, you so fine," says Marco. "It would be a travesty if I had you assassinated. You are free to go. Take her home, Gerard, and knock her up!"

Gerard rolls his eyes while I blush. "There is one condition though," interrupts Ulrik smoothly.

"There is?" asks Marco, confused.

Ulrik nods. "Yes, and the condition is: Gerard, you have to turn Stella within a year for us to allow her to live."

"What?!" I yell at the same time as Mikey. Gerard just glares at Ulrik furiously.

"Yes," smiles Ulsa. "That is an excellent condition."

"Your father never gave us any conditions," snaps Gerard.

"I know I didn't," says Marco. "But now that I think about it, it would be better if Stella was one of us. I mean, like, life in general would be better for you two, you know. You could easily snap her in two the way she is now. If she were a vampire she would be, like, totally indestructible."

"But what about what she wants?" implores Gerard.

Marco shrugs and turns to me. "What do you want, girl?"

All eyes turn in my direction.