FicWad

It took a minute for the full impact of my words to sink in for James. He just kind of stared at me for moment before he opened his mouth and tried to speak. However, despite his efforts, no words came out. This wasn't really a good sign. James wasn't reacting very well to my news. It only confirmed my earlier suspicions that I would be better off if I wasn't on this tour and at this recording studio at the moment. It was clear James didn't want kids and to be honest, neither did I. However, the difference was that James had a choice about this whereas I did not. I could leave, find a job, settle down, and raise my kid on my own. In the meantime, James could forget all about the girl he had gotten pregnant and could just go on with Metallica as before.

Feeling miserable and irritated, I threw my head into my hands and tried to make myself sit still. For some reason, I suddenly felt angry at everything. I wanted to smash the glass bottles lying around on the floor or punch something. My mood swings were all over the place lately. All the stress was causing me to go from smiling to scowling in less than a minute.

Finally, James found his voice, "So you did the test?" I nodded and looked over to the other side of the room to make sure Lars and Kirk were still busy before I reached behind a box and pulled the pregnancy tester out to show James. He took one look at it and then nodded as calmly as he could although I could tell he was anything but calm under the physical shell.

Not sure what to do, but really wanting to do something or the other, I turned to James and said, "So what do we do now? You know, I'm really starting to think I'm better off if I just leave. This whole situation is obviously making you uncomfortable and I don't want to force you into any of this. You've got a big future ahead of you and I'm sure there are other girls that are nicer to fuck than me out there. Just ask Lars for a ticket to send me back to Los Angeles. I kind of liked it there. Besides, I'm sure Lars will have no problem with paying for the ticket since he's always made it clear just how much he wants to get rid of me."

It took James a minute to register all my news. His face changed expressions several times before he turned to me and said, "This isn't really making me uncomfortable, I just feel really guilty, that's all." Not sure where this was coming from, I raised an eyebrow at him and waited for more. I couldn't quite figure out what James was feeling guilty about. Was he feeling guilty about sending me home to Los Angeles or was he feeling guilty about something I didn't know about?

Seeing my confused expression, James sighed and rested his back against the wall as he went on, "I feel bad because this is really my fault." I tried to cut in to contradict him, but James slapped a hand over my mouth to silence me as he went on, "If it weren't for me, you wouldn't be pregnant or forced to live the rest of your life as a mom. I was the one who pushed you from the beginning. I was the one who would go over to your house and try to seduce you. Then after you finally fell for me, I was the one who was always trying to get you in bed. If you hadn't slept with me, you would be living your life like you should be."

I hadn't really seen this side of the story before. I had no idea that James felt guilty for any of this at all. On the contrary, I had always thought that he had blamed me for getting pregnant. Apparently, that was not the case. Not wanting him to feel any more guilty, I said, "Does any of that really matter? I mean, what is done is done and we can't take any of it back. In reality, I did fall for you and I did sleep with you and we can't change any of that. And besides, James, all of that was my choice. I wanted you and I wouldn't take any of that stuff that we did together back like I've said before. So really, let's focus on the future, not the past, okay?"

James nodded, finally getting my point. Running a hand through the wild blonde locks, he said, "Okay, so what are we going to do about our future?" I frowned at him and looked straight ahead of me so I couldn't meet his eyes as I corrected, "It's not 'our' future, James. It's 'my' future and 'your' future. We're gonna have separate futures. You know that."

Up to this point, our conversation had been quiet and calm. At this point, James finally broke. He whirled around to face me and grabbed my shoulders roughly and shook me slightly, "Will you stop saying that? Just because we're having a little inconvenience doesn't mean we have to split up for fuck's sake! I never told you that I didn't want you, did I?"

At James' explosion, Kirk and Lars looked up from where they were looking over the music to the song Whiplash and were now staring at us curiously. Even Cliff grunted and rolled over to his other side. James, not realizing that he had been yelling, quickly let go of my shoulders and flushed as he apologized, "Sorry."

To my surprise, a small grin spread over Lars' face, "No need to apologize." With that, he tapped Kirk's shoulder and the two of them went back to studying the music. Apparently, Lars was happy to see us fighting since he was always trying to break us up. I glared murderously at Lars' back and wished that looks could kill because I was sure my gaze would've made Lars drop dead.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you," James whispered to me rather quietly after his sudden outburst. "But can't you see that I want you? Can't you see that I'll be devastated if you leave me? Remember how you said how terrible and lost you'd feel if I abandoned you somewhere in New York? Well, that's exactly how I'd feel. I'd never know what happened to you or our kid and I'd probably never ever see you again. I also wish you'd shut up about all the other girls. I don't need a girl with a great body to want to fuck her. I just want a girl who isn't going to leave me." James gave me a meaningful look at the last sentence.

"So you're saying that you still want me to go on the tour with you after the recording is done?" I asked James dubiously. James nodded enthusiastically, "Yes, I do! That's what I've been trying to tell you for the last twenty-four hours." Rolling my eyes at him and attempting a smile, I added, "Not quite that long. For twenty-three of those twenty-four hours you were either sleeping, drunk, or ignoring me. It was hard for me just to get you to talk to me!"

James blushed a little and avoided responding to my statement by saying, "You never answered my question. Are you gonna stay with me or not?" I hesitated for a long moment. I really wanted to stay with James even though I knew it wasn't the best option for any of us. James reached up a hand to tuck a strand of brown hair behind my ear as he looked deeply into my eyes. James rested his other hand lightly on my belly and whispered, "C'mon Olive, let's do this together. Please?"

James had never pleaded anything from me before, but in this moment, I could tell he was begging me to stay with him. Well, if he really wanted me that badly, then what could I say? Solemnly, I nodded and said, "Well...okay. But seriously, are you sure about this, James? Because once you ask me to stay, you're gonna be stuck with me."

Giving me a look like he thought I was crazy, James responded indignantly, "Of course I'm sure and I don't mind being 'stuck' with you. I'd like to be 'stuck' with you until the end of time." With that, James reached for me and pulled me into his lap. Sighing contentedly for the first time in a long time, I lifted my chin up to James' face. He wasted no time in closing the distance by pressing his lips onto mine and sending those electric sparks into my body. We kissed passionately with our lips slipping and sliding over each other's mouth with a fervor that we hadn't felt for a long time. Maybe James and I were missing the sex more than we thought.

Suddenly, the door to the storage room popped open and light poured into the dark room. Johnny Zazula stood in the doorway with his hands on his hips. Looking us over, he said, "Alright you guys, it's time to start recording. Can everyone meet me upstairs in about five minutes? I want to talk to you about a few things before we start the recording."

Lars, who always took charge in these kinds of situations, nodded, "Yeah, of course." Instantly, his eyes slid over to me and he gave me an evil look before he turned back to Johnny and added, "You don't want the girl to come along, right? She'd just get in the way and stuff obviously. She should just stay here."

Johnny's eyes flickered over to where I was still sitting on James' lap. Johnny resisted a smile at us as he said, "She can come up. I mean, she won't be able to enter the recording studio, but she can hang out with us for the first part of our meeting." With that, Johnny turned and disappeared through the doorway. Lars looked livid and I think he wanted to slap some sense into Johnny.

Feeling a little too happy, I grinned right at Lars as James and I stood up. James flopped a hand protectively around my shoulders and then smiled excitedly, "Hey guys, we've gotta wake Cliff up!" Cliff was still lying on the boxes looking like he was dead. Lars and James immediately exchanged ecstatic glances while Kirk and I looked at each other apprehensively.

"Hey Cliff!" James yelled at the top of his lungs, forcing me to slam my hands over my ears, "Wake up!" Even with James shouting as loud as he could, Cliff did not move an inch. Lars motioned to some boxes lying on the floor and started banging Cliff on the back with one of them. To be surprise, Cliff still didn't budge. Cliff must be the heaviest sleepier I had ever met.

James walked over to Cliff's makeshift bed and tried to physically pull him up. Sadly, Cliff was too heavy for him and the attempt failed. James and Lars stared at Cliff for a moment before Lars' face lit up like a light bulb being turned on. Grabbing an empty beer bottle, he motioned for James to follow him as he ran out of the storage room. James shot after him like a lightning bolt.

"I bet those two are up to no good," Kirk commented as he looked after James and Lars. I nodded emphatically and said, "Knowing those two, they are never up to any good!" Kirk and I laughed as James and Lars came flying back into the room. I peered into the beer bottle to see what Lars had put in it. The bottle was filled with clear liquid that had to be water. But where had they gotten water from? After a moment of racking my brains, I remembered how Kirk had washed his hair in the sink.

Coming to the same realization as me, Kirk quickly tried to grab the beer bottle as he said, "Guys, don't do that! That water is fucking freez-" Kirk let his sentence drop because it was too late. Lars had already dumped the freezing cold water all over Cliff's head. This finally got a reaction from Cliff. He groaned and sat up on the boxes, wet auburn hair dripping all over.

Cliff looked us over with a half-amused and half-angry expression as he said, "What the fuck? Do you guys need something?" Laughing like a lunatic, Lars said, "Yeah, we need to meet with Johnny and then we have to record our album. You do remember the album recording, right Cliff?" Trying to shake the water out of his hair, Cliff gave a little bemused smile and said, "Yeah."

Shaking my head at Lars and James, I followed them as the five of us headed up out of the storage center. I couldn't help but feel sorry for Cliff. At least he had been a good sport about it though. Cliff definitely fit into the band perfectly. I hoped Kirk was fitting in just as well. I mean, how was it possible not to like a guy as nice as Kirk?