FicWad

There once was a guy named Jake
Who had about all he couldst take.
So he hauled out his shotgun—
Let me tell thee that no one
Messeth with Extreme Jake!

There once was a pilot named Wayne
Who didst fly into hurricane.
His plane didst go around,
And then went straight down,
There now is a sailor named Wayne.

There once was a stuntman named Max
Who did his own stunts on railroad tracks.
He poured on some nitro,
For he was a pyro,
And the train cars now runneth on their backs.

There once was a man named Yoco,
Whom everyone thought to be loco:
As he stood in the rain
’Twould drive him insane
To think that sheep shrink in slo-mo.

There once was a man named Scoot,
Who was always oot scootin’ aboot.
And all o’er the land
He couldst backwards stand,
When Scoot the Ko’An was afoot.

There once was a tree in the wood
Which didst fall down, but could
It maketh a sound
With no one around?
’Tis a riddle no one understood.

There was a toaster from Greenwich,
Who was cursed with the gooney itch,
And squirrels may chanceth,
Other little fucks danceth
Lately till no one knoweth which is which.

There was a VCR that spat tapes,
And gophers can take on many shapes,
’Twas too civilized
To be magnetized,
The squid was a kid that wore capes.