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Someone might have called my name as I stalked across the common room, but I was way too focused on Lucius and my own problems to hear them. It probably made me seem even more stuck up since I didn't bother to check to see if someone was talking to me, but right now, I didn't care. All I could feel was my all-consuming anger.

Feeling like shit, I kicked the door to the common room open and stepped outside. Surprisingly enough, there was not a single person outside in the corridor. The only figure was Lucius and he was turning the corner. With my eye fixed evilly on my quarry, I ran around along the corridor until I turned the turned as well. My feet made loud slapping noises as my heels connected with the stone floor. Lucius would know someone was after him. Wonder if he thought it was Natasha?

Breathless, I rounded the corner and saw Lucius' retreating back still a little bit in front of me. Picking up my pace, I hurried across the stone floor until Lucius was within reach. Next, I did something that was very unlike me. I actually reached out and grabbed Lucius' wrist rather roughly in order to make him come to a halt. God, what was happening to me? This man was making me do crazy shit. I was going to have to keep better control of myself or else I was going to become totally psycho!

Lucius came to a halt and whipped around, his gray eyes looking over at me with surprise. I guess he hadn't guessed it was me who was after him. That was good. I actually liked the way Lucius was looking at me. It was better than the way he usually eyed me. I hated it when he gave me that condescending look that made me feel like shriveling up and dying.

"Is there something you want?" Lucius asked with one eyebrow raised imperiously. It sure didn't take him long to get over his shock. In response to his question, I nodded vigorously as I tried to catch my breath. After a few gulps of air, I pointed an accusatory finger at Lucius and said, "Yes, there is something I want. I want to know what your problem with me is."

"Problem?" Lucius replied, feigning complete shock and innocence. "I haven't detected a problem." Lucius' excuse might work with other girls, but it certainly wasn't going to work with me. I knew deep inside that Lucius knew exactly what I was talking about. It was clear to anyone that he hated me. The only question was why.

"Oh, c'mon, you hate me and you know it," I accused him, letting the anger flow. "You're always smirking at me and acting like I'm shit. Why? I haven't done a single thing to you. I mean, okay, I saw you that night with Natasha and I'm sorry. It wasn't my fault though. How should I know that I wasn't suppose to come down to the common room at night?"

As soon as that little piece of information was out of my mouth, I suddenly realized that I had been babbling again. Oops. Would I ever learn where to stop? At this rate, probably not. Hoping that Lucius wasn't too bad, I looked up at his face rather nervously. Lucius' was cold and as unreadable as stone. I wanted to know what he was thinking so badly.

Finally, Lucius sighed and the mask he was wearing dissolved completely. Instead, I saw tiredness and unresolved hurt in those gray eyes. Lucius had dark secrets. That much was obvious. Finally, Lucius replied, "I know, I know, I haven't exactly been the kindest to you. But believe me, it's for the mutual good of everyone if we don't interact. And the thing with Natasha, I could care less if you saw it or not. The bitch is out of my life." Lucius snarled the last sentence and I saw immense hatred in his eyes.

For some reason, my anger seemed to dissolve completely and now all I could feel was pain and longing. Turning up my large blue eyes to Lucius, I asked, "But why? Why, Lucius? How can you hating me do anybody any good? All hatred does is bring pain and revenge. We could at least be friends...don't you think?"

Ugh, now I was begging. I was just as bad as Natasha. I was begging Lucius Malfoy to be my friend. That definitely wasn't a smart move on my part. I remembered very clearly what he had done to Molly. He could do the exact same thing to me right and throw me away and split my tender heart into pieces.

However, now that Lucius had let down his guard ever so slightly, he wasn't going to be so mean to me. After contemplating my small request for a few seconds, Lucius' eyes turned hard once again and he shook his head, "You don't understand, Narcissa. There are things you just don't know yet. We are here to serve the Dark Lord otherwise known to you as Tom Ridde. We don't exist for ourselves or anyone else. Tom is the key to success. Everything and everyone else is pointless."

I had reached my threshold of hurt for today. Tears started to well up in my eyes. I did my best to fight them, but one slipped out of the corner of my eye. Lucius had just called me pointless. Great. I was a piece of shit after all. Nobody cared about me at all. All I was here for was to serve Tom and kill the mud-bloods. Those were two things I had no desire to do.

Lucius tugged had tugged his hand out of my grip and had turned to continue down the hall. This time, I was in no mood to stop him. As soon as he was gone, I would crumple to the floor and cry my heart out. Crying always made me feel better to some extent. It releases hormones that put you in a better mood or something like that, right?

However, instead of continuing on down the hall, Lucius slowly turned back around and fixed me with his piercing gray stare once more. This time, I didn't want him to look at me. He had hurt me enough as it was. I just wanted him to continue on down the corridor and let me be. It wasn't fair how he determined my mood.

Trying to hold my sobs back until after Lucius left, I said in a muffled voice, "Just go. You don't have to stay here with me. I just have to be alone..." I stared at the ground and cried to hide my face from Lucius. The last thing I wanted was for him to see me crying. That was just plain humiliating and I had been embarrassed enough for one day.

Unfortunately, Lucius didn't turn and leave me alone. On the contrary, he put his hands on my shoulder and pulled me up to my feet. I stumbled and fell against him. Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore. The tears started flowing unceremoniously. They trickled down my face and against Lucius' chest. I knew I should move away from him, but I just couldn't. Life was so unfair. How come I was leaning against such a gorgeous guy and yet, he wanted nothing to do with me?

Pushing me back from him ever so slightly so he could look me in the eye, Lucius gave me a knowing, almost kind look and said, "Narcissa...I'm sorry. I really am. I never mean to hurt you. It's just that I know. I know what will happen if we try to be 'friends'. Answer this for me: you don't really just want to be friends, do you?"

My cheeks flamed a tomato red shade. So Lucius knew after all! He knew just how stuck on him I was. Was I really so easy to read after all? The tears just flowed harder as I thought about how pathetic I was. Finally, I replied to Lucius, "No, I guess not." What I did want was something much deeper and more intimate with Lucius. Apparently, he knew that too.

Nodding like he had totally been able to predict my answer, Lucius replied, "That was as I thought. See, Narcissa? This is why we shouldn't be friends." The comment just made me cry harder. I wanted him so bad! Life was so unfair...or maybe I was just one of those melodramatic drama queens who thought the world revolved around her.

Through my sniffles, I thought about what Lucius had just said. Why would it be so bad if we became more than friends? Wasn't building relationships kind of what life was about? Trying not to sound like a whining idiot, I asked after a big sniffle, "But why can't you be more than friends with someone, Lucius? You don't really want to go through life alone, do you? Most guys want a girlfriend. You use to have a girlfriend. Why don't you want one now? Did Nat hurt you really bad?" Suddenly, realization dawned on me and I added, "Oh, wait, I see now. It was the child that you had with Natasha that makes you not want to get involved with someone."

I didn't phrase my last statement as a question. Of course Lucius didn't want to get into a relationship right now. His last one with Natasha had ended awfully with Natasha ending up pregnant. Now I felt kind of like an idiot and I also realized I had said a little too much once again. Lucius' face had masked over and his eyes had grown cold as soon as I mentioned the child.

A long, awkward silence fell between us with only the sound of my sobs to break it. Finally, Lucius gave me an icy look and said, "Where did you hear about Natasha and me having a child?" I gulped. I was immediately thinking I should lie, but looking into Lucius' eyes, I found I could not. I had to tell him the truth. So I said simply, "Bellatrix."

Lucius thought for a moment and then nodded, "That would only make sense. No offense to Bella, but your sister believes every little rumor she hears." There was another short silence in which I started wondering if this possibly meant that Lucius had not been the father to Natasha's child. I wanted to ask, but I couldn't find the strength to do that now. I was all weak and sobbing and was a total mess. That pretty much summed me up; a big, fucking piece of shit.

Lucius surprised me and went into more detail, "Not like it's any of your business, but I wasn't the one who got Natasha pregnant. Her pregnancy was what broke us up." For some reason, at Lucius' statement, I felt somewhat happier. So he hadn't gotten Nat pregnant after all! But why had he broken up with Natasha in the first place?

Even though it was rather pointless to argue with Lucius, I felt an insane urge to. Maybe it was because I was breaking down and all my emotions that normally stayed inside were finally pouring out. Without thinking about what I was saying, I gazed up anxiously into Lucius' eyes and begged, "But I'm not Natasha! I'm Narcissa. I wouldn't be like Natasha. I wouldn't...um...get pregnant or anything. I could be a good girlfriend or at least a friend to you. Couldn't you just give me a change? Please?"

God, I sounded pathetic, but I couldn't help begging Lucius to consider my friendship. I'm not quite sure what made me want him so bad. All I knew was that somewhere deep down inside, my gut was telling me that Lucius was important. He was like my other half or something. He could fill a part of me that Walden could not.

Lucius merely looked at me. He didn't bother to say anything. As he gazed at my tear-streaked face, I could see his face soften just a bit. His hands had been placed firmly on my shoulders but now they were starting to slide down my arms and down my body. Abruptly, Lucius reached forward and cupped my chin with one hand. My heart literally stopped beating. I wondered what he could possibly be thinking. The two of us continued to stare at each other without uttering a single word.

This was the moment when I realized Lucius was the only one for me. I had never felt this same way about any other guy before. Just by staring into his eyes I could see that I needed him and this might sound weird, but he needed me too. There was a lot of built up hurt beneath Lucius' hard outer shell. Would I ever make it under that shell?

Lucius' hand released my chin and traveled down my throat...and then over my chest. A moment later, and his hand was lightly resting on my breast and I think I forgot how to breath. There was a millisecond of intimacy between us when Lucius suddenly tore his hands away from me as if he was touching poison.

Looking like he was frustrated with himself, Lucius shook his head and said, "I'm sorry, Narcissa. We can't see each other. Believe me, there are other people out there for you. Better people. Just look at Walden for instance. He wants you. Go ahead and give yourself to him. You'll be happiest with someone like that."

Without another word, Lucius turned away from me and whipped around the corner and out of view. Only one thought revolved in my head: I didn't want Walden. Walden wasn't the guy for me. Lucius was. And now I knew I could never have him.