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As I lay in a heap on the ground, it came to me that my lungs weren't functioning properly. I could get any air in. It was like now that my lungs were crushed, they were totally incapable of taking in air. This was going to be a major problem. I gasped for oxygen and tried to force it to enter my lungs, but it did absolutely no good. Next, I cried gulping in air. The attempt was futile.

By now, my lungs were screaming for air but were refusing to take any of it in. My vision was blurring, my heart was slowing, and black circles danced before my eyes. It felt exactly like the time Natasha had tried to strangle me. Unfortunately, this time nobody was there to rescue me though. Would I die right here as a limp, helpless heap on the floor? It was sure a possibility.

Just as I was giving up hope, the door to the common room clicked open and I faintly heard footsteps from a long ways away. I was tempted to look up and see where the footsteps were coming from, but I had no energy left for that. Instead, I sank to the floor and my skull hit the ground with an ugly crashing noise. As my head hit the harden wooden floor, all went blank and time seemed to stop.

I slumped against the floor and felt like I was drowning in a pool of some black substance. It was pulling me downwards to an unknown place, Where was this place? It was so cold there. I felt like I was on my way to hell when I suddenly felt hands on my body and the warm breath from someone's lips on my face.

I wanted to see who was touching me, but I was already more than halfway to the pool of blackness. I didn't have the strength to open my eyes or to try to reverse my direction and return towards the light. After all, everything was so hard and took so much effort. My tired, aching body couldn't find the strength even to move a muscle.

However, even though I was determined to just fade into the blackness, the person who had found me had other ideas. A rough hand shook my shoulders and a voice shouted much too loudly in my ear, "Cissa! Cissa, wake up. C'mon...please...you have to wake up!" The voice bounced around in my head and brought me tumbling back to reality. The black pool started to fade and moments later, it was gone and my eyelids fluttered back open.

My first thought was that I couldn't breathe. I still hadn't been able to get air and my lungs still felt crushed and painful. Needing air as soon as possible, I started gasping and wheezing as I fought for oxygen. The person who had been shaking my shoulders was immediately by my side and looking into my eyes. Surprisingly enough, the eyes were gray and concerned. Lucius.

"Narcisa, calm down! You have to calm yourself or you won't get any air," Lucius commanded urgently, looking me straight in the eye. I gave him a look like he was crazy. I mean, how the hell did he expect me to try to calm myself when I was about to pass out from lack of oxygen? Nonetheless, despite his crazy ideas, I figured they were worth a try.

Even though I wanted to gulp and gasp for air, I forced my body to go limp and tried to take in air slowly. Amazingly enough, this time my lungs inflated and clear, crisp air slid down my throat. After a few nice, deep breaths, my breathing pattern had returned to normal. Despite this though, my body still wracked with pain and my emotional state was torn up.

I was just so tired. So tired, in fact, that I flopped back to the floor and laid there motionless. The only way I communicated with Lucius was through my eyes. I wondered what my eyes looked like at this moment. Where they wide and haunted? Or maybe they contained the guilt of a girl who had just tortured an innocent creature? I really had no idea.

Suddenly, all the hate I was feeling towards Tom, the guilt of my actions, and ever other emotion I had been storing up inside came spilling out. Hysterical tears flowed from my eyes and my body shook and trembled. Lucius was instantly leaning closer over me, eying me with concern and anger. Uh oh...anger? What was he angry about?

"Narcissa, tell me what happened. Who did this to you?" Lucius asked with his cold eyes flashing daggers. For a long moment, I couldn't reply. The tears flowing from my eyes made Lucius' face blur in and out of focus and my sobs prevented me from speaking. The anger slowly vanished from Lucius' eyes and was replaced with a look of pity.

"Oh Cissa, calm down, it's okay now," Lucius tried to calm me. I looked up at him with wide eyes that conveyed a question: was everything really okay now? It certainly didn't seem okay. I was hurting and my whole world seemed to be falling apart. Lucius continued to try to soothe me, "There, there. It really will be okay. You're safe now. I won't let anyone hurt you."

Normally, I would've been in heaven because of Lucius saying that he would protect me. However, right now, all I could think about was how insane Tom was, how crazy this band of Death Eaters was, and about how every inch of my body ached and felt like heavy metal weights. As I continued to lay on the floor, Lucius slowly slipped an arm under my knees and another arm under my back. With a swift movement, he picked up my limp form and held me in his arms.

Seeking comfort, I snuggled close to Lucius' body and let my tears start to slow. Lucius pushed my hair that had been plastered with sweat off my face and said soothingly, "Yes, that's right. You'll be fine now. Whenever you're ready, I'd like it if you told me what happened. If you really don't want to, I won't force you to, but it might help to tell someone."

Now that my tears had stopped, I figured I could probably go ahead and tell Lucius was had happened. I felt someone needed to know of Tom's treachery. In a shaking voice, I explained, "I refused to do the Cruciatus curse. I just told Tom I plainly wouldn't do it. It's an evil thing to do and I refuse to take part in things like that."

At my words, Lucius' face went gray and his eyebrows knotted together in worry, "Oh god, never ever refuse Tom. I should have told you that before. Tom's word is law around here. Never refuse him." Lucius frowned and then added, "Too late for me to tell you this I suppose. Anyways, go on. Tell me what he did to you."

"He used the Cruciatus curse on me," I admitted in a weak voice. Lucius' eyes went wide and his jaw went stiff. Before he could say anything, I went ahead and finished my sad story, "When he was done torturing me, he asked me to do the curse again. I did it. It was an awful thing to do, I know. When I was down, I was so furious that I told Tom I hated him. He put the curse on me again. This time, he let it last a lot longer than the first. It was horrible, Lucius, it really was."

At the memory of the curse, my whole body starting shaking much more vigorously and my lip trembled as I said, "It was awful. And now, everything hurts. It's like punishment for what I did to that poor owl. Oh Lucius, what have I done? I can't believe I used the curse on that poor thing. I'm evil, aren't I? I deserve this punishment. I should die."

"Cissa, NO!" Lucius practically screamed in my ear. His pale cheeks flushed slightly before he calmed himself and said instead, "You're not evil. And whatever you say, never ever say you should die again. I never what to hear that come out of your lips. You have so much here for you. You have so much potential. Your death would be so tragic..."

"No," I replied flatly, feeling very exhausted and weighed down at the moment. I could tell I was very close to slumber. Any moment I would be off in dream land. However, before I left this world, I had to finish my statement, "Nobody would care. Mother and father like Bellatrix best. Bella doesn't care all that much about me. And when it comes to friends, I don't really have any close ones. Nobody would really give a shit whether I lived or died."

My last word took the rest of my energy from my body and I could speak no more. My eyes closed and I went still. I wasn't quite sleeping, but I certainly wasn't awake either. I was kind of like in the stage between slumber and consciousness. As I drifted off between the two worlds, I could hear Lucius speaking from what seemed like miles away, "People would care. You've already made friends here. It's obvious that Walden would miss you. And...and I would never forgive myself if you died."

My bleary mind circled around Lucius' statement and wondered what he meant. Why would he never forgive himself if I died? I mean, it wasn't like he had ever given a damn about me anyways. If he really did care about me, than why had me rejected my offer of friendship? Also, why would he invite Bella to the dance? My mind whirled around with questions that had no answers.

Too tired and weary to answer Lucius, I let myself drift closer to the line of sleep. Just as I was about to cross over into unconcsciousness, I felt a hand trail down my neck and down my body. The hand traced along the curve of my body, over my hip, and down my thigh. I suddenly no longer felt so sleepy. I was too tired to drag myself back into consciousness, but I certainly didn't want to fall asleep right now. I wanted to see (or should I saw feel?) what else Lucius would do to me.

His hand continued to slide down my body for a few minutes and then it moved to my shoulder. Lucius touched it gently, let it trail over my collarbone, and then onto my chest. I held my breath as his fingertips skimmed over my breasts and continued to stroke my body. My heart hammered rapidly in my chest and I found I suddenly wanted to whip my eyes open to see what was going on.

Before I could find the strength to rouse myself, I felt warm breath on my neck. Okay, now I totally had to see what was going on. It was a real bitch to try to open my eyes, but curiousity gave me the strength to lift one eyelid open just a peep. Lucius had buried his head in my hair and was breathing softly into the crook of my neck.

My whole body tingled and I tried to steady the pounding in my chest. Something strange was going on with Lucius. I felt that he liked me deep down inside. However, why would he never let me see this side of him? Why did he keep it tucked away in the dark? We could be so happy together. I mean, just look at the present situation. I was lying in Lucius' arms and he had his head in my air and his lips mere centimeters away from my neck. Didn't that look intimate?

As I was thinking all this, there was a click from somewhere in the room and the sound of footsteps. As soon as the sound met my ears, Lucius dropped me roughly onto the couch and took a few steps away from me. I caught one look at his guilty face before my eyelids flopped back shut again. From the doorway to the common room, I heard my sister's familiar voice, "Oh hey, Lucius. Do you have any idea where the fuck Cissy is? I've been looking for her all over."

There was a moment's silence and because I couldn't see, I imagined Lucius' cheeks flushing as he replied, "Your sister is on the couch. She passed out a few minutes ago. Apparently, she refused to do the Cruciatus curse. Tom punished her by using the Cruciatus curse on her. She's feeling very weak and I'm sure she's in a lot of pain. Take care of her, alright?"

Footsteps sounded close to the couch and I figured Bella was leaning over the couch and taking a goood look at me. After clicking her tongue, Bella sighed and said, "My god, Cissy has so much to learn, doesn't she? I'm almost wishing that she hadn't been placed in Slytherin. She just doesn't fit in with the rest of the Death Eaters. She's much too sweet and kind. I guess I have a lot to teach her. Her first lesson is going to be to always obey any of her fellow Death Eaters and Tom. She could get hurt very badly if she doesn't obey them. You and I both know that Rodophus and Rosier have a bit of a temper."

"Indeed," Lucius answered stiffly. I think he was still feeling kind of embarrassed about how he had been touching me moments before, but maybe it was just my imagination. Lucius went on, "Bellatrix, she said she was an evil person for using the Cruciatus curse on that damned owl. She even said she wanted to die. Help support her during this time. She needs someone."

Lucius was right; I did indeed need someone to take care of me and comfort me right now. But seriously, why in the world would Lucius ask Bellatrix to fill that role? Why couldn't he fill that role himself? He cared for me...didn't he? My head spun in a confused tangle. Lucius was so mysterious and confusing. The last thing I needed right now was confusion.

Gentle arms wrapped around my body and lifted me up from the couch. Since my skin didn't tingle like before, I knew that the person lifting me was Bella. As Bellatrix moved towards the door to the girl's dormitory, she replied to Lucius, "I will. Believe me, I care for my sister even if I don't really show it. Goodnight, Lucius."

"Good night Bella," Lucius responded as I heard the click of the door as Bella and I entered the girl's dormitory. Still too tired to open my heavy eyelids, I imagined Bella crossing the dormitory to my bed. My thoughts were confirmed moments later when Bella gently set me down on my familiar bed. Gently pulling the covers up over my body, I heard Bella whisper, "Hang in there, Cis. You'll be okay. I'm just so sorry I got you into this mess. Please forgive me."

There was silence for a moment before I heard Bella's retreating footsteps. As soon as she was gone, I felt a little warmth in my body. Bella's apology for some reason was making me feel much better. Maybe Lucius was right. Maybe people (like my sister) really did care for me after all. But what about Lucius himself? Did he really care?