Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Only Hope for Me is You
Sometime around September, 2013
He lets out a deep sigh filled with cigarette smoke.
Gerard will never stop smoking.
In between drags of his cigarette—the third or fourth one in a row?— Gerard wonders. Gerard wonders why it’s 75 plus degrees outside; he’ll never get used to places not being the New Jersey normal. He wonders why he doesn’t own house shoes, and why he would ever need them. He wonders why he’s on the balcony at two a.m. smoking a cigarette even though he didn’t just have sex. But then he rationalizes that smoking calms him down. And that he likes not being next to Lindsey in bed, even if only for a couple minutes. And then he realizes that he shouldn’t think that. So he’ll change his mental subject.
Another deep, smoke-filled sigh. Gerard has to be up by eight tomorrow— today. He has to get Bandit dressed and ready. He has to get himself ready. And he and Bandit have to take Lindsey to the airport and see her off. Then he’ll swing by the house and get the two presents for Frank’s kids. Today’s their birthday. And he’s obligated to go. Not that he’s just going because he feels it necessary; he likes Cherry and Lily. They’re sweet girls, and they and Bandit get along perfectly. Plus Frank’s his friend and bandmate…
You know what? That’s stressful. So Gerard’s not going to think about that. He’s going to flick his nub of a cigarette of the balcony, blow some smoke, and go back to bed.
~~~~~ * ~~~~~
Beeehp! Beeehp! Beeehp!
The sound of his alarm clock made Gerard want to commit suicide. No, really. It was fucking nasally and annoying and really unnecessary. But Lindsey said it was the only one she could here. So he guessed that’s what mattered.
After smashing his hand so hard on the alarm clock it started throbbing, Gerard hopped in the shower. As much as he wanted to stay in there an hour or so, he knew he had to hurry up; fifteen minutes later he was showered and dressed.
Gerard walked down the hall and into Bandit’s room. She was sleeping peacefully in her small bed. He smiled at her and instinctively wondered how he could create something so perfect. Gerard kissed Bandit’s forehead. “Wake up, sweetie,” he cooed gently. Lindsey always woke Bandit up roughly. No. Not his baby. Bandit stirred and opened her eyes slowly. She smiled sleepily. “Good morning, Daddy,” she yawned. “Good morning, my love,” Gerard said.
After that one sweet moment the rest of the morning seemed to blur by for him. He helped Bandit brush her teeth and convinced her to have a normal breakfast rather than a bacon-cupcake. He woke up Lindsey who yelled that he had woken her up too late, and insisted on driving because Gerard ‘drives like a grandma.’
The next thing Gerard was really aware of was pulling up to Frank’s house, and he was probably only aware of that because two big muscle-heads came up to his car when he went to get the presents out. Apparently they were hired to carry gifts to the gift tent. Because three year olds need gift tents.
“Okay, baby, go play with the other kids. And don’t for get to tell Lily and Cherry happy birthday,” Gerard said to Bandit as he put her down once they were inside the grounds. “Okay, daddy,” Bandit responded, skipping away. What a happy kid.
“Gerard!” Frank called to him, though they weren’t far apart. “Nice to see ya, man. Thanks for coming.” Gerard put on his fake smile— the one that Frank could no longer tell if it was real or fake because they’d spent so little time together—and spoke, “I’m happy to come, Frank. You know I think of the girls as my own family.” And he did.
Gerard made awkward conversation with a few of the partygoers, sang happy birthday, and even had a piece of brightly colored, too-sweet cake. Theses are the things that normal people do. Before he knew it—honestly— the party was over and people were leaving. Actually, people had left, for the most part.
Then Gerard was stuck between Frank’s conversation with Jamia. “If you’re going to take us to the airport, who’s gonna watch the girls?” Jamia asked. There was a silence. “Well, I’m sure Gerard wouldn’t mind… would you, Gerard?” Without even considering it, Gerard nodded his head. “No problem.” He has his ulterior motives. And that was settled.
Apparently Jamia was staying with her parents for two weeks. Gerard kind of wanted to know why, but now enough to strike up a conversation with Frank to find out. So while Frank took Jamia and her parents to LAX, Gerard stayed home and watched Lily, Bandit, and Cherry. Which, if he left out some details in his mind, made Gerard… happy.
He lets out a deep sigh filled with cigarette smoke.
Gerard will never stop smoking.
In between drags of his cigarette—the third or fourth one in a row?— Gerard wonders. Gerard wonders why it’s 75 plus degrees outside; he’ll never get used to places not being the New Jersey normal. He wonders why he doesn’t own house shoes, and why he would ever need them. He wonders why he’s on the balcony at two a.m. smoking a cigarette even though he didn’t just have sex. But then he rationalizes that smoking calms him down. And that he likes not being next to Lindsey in bed, even if only for a couple minutes. And then he realizes that he shouldn’t think that. So he’ll change his mental subject.
Another deep, smoke-filled sigh. Gerard has to be up by eight tomorrow— today. He has to get Bandit dressed and ready. He has to get himself ready. And he and Bandit have to take Lindsey to the airport and see her off. Then he’ll swing by the house and get the two presents for Frank’s kids. Today’s their birthday. And he’s obligated to go. Not that he’s just going because he feels it necessary; he likes Cherry and Lily. They’re sweet girls, and they and Bandit get along perfectly. Plus Frank’s his friend and bandmate…
You know what? That’s stressful. So Gerard’s not going to think about that. He’s going to flick his nub of a cigarette of the balcony, blow some smoke, and go back to bed.
~~~~~ * ~~~~~
Beeehp! Beeehp! Beeehp!
The sound of his alarm clock made Gerard want to commit suicide. No, really. It was fucking nasally and annoying and really unnecessary. But Lindsey said it was the only one she could here. So he guessed that’s what mattered.
After smashing his hand so hard on the alarm clock it started throbbing, Gerard hopped in the shower. As much as he wanted to stay in there an hour or so, he knew he had to hurry up; fifteen minutes later he was showered and dressed.
Gerard walked down the hall and into Bandit’s room. She was sleeping peacefully in her small bed. He smiled at her and instinctively wondered how he could create something so perfect. Gerard kissed Bandit’s forehead. “Wake up, sweetie,” he cooed gently. Lindsey always woke Bandit up roughly. No. Not his baby. Bandit stirred and opened her eyes slowly. She smiled sleepily. “Good morning, Daddy,” she yawned. “Good morning, my love,” Gerard said.
After that one sweet moment the rest of the morning seemed to blur by for him. He helped Bandit brush her teeth and convinced her to have a normal breakfast rather than a bacon-cupcake. He woke up Lindsey who yelled that he had woken her up too late, and insisted on driving because Gerard ‘drives like a grandma.’
The next thing Gerard was really aware of was pulling up to Frank’s house, and he was probably only aware of that because two big muscle-heads came up to his car when he went to get the presents out. Apparently they were hired to carry gifts to the gift tent. Because three year olds need gift tents.
“Okay, baby, go play with the other kids. And don’t for get to tell Lily and Cherry happy birthday,” Gerard said to Bandit as he put her down once they were inside the grounds. “Okay, daddy,” Bandit responded, skipping away. What a happy kid.
“Gerard!” Frank called to him, though they weren’t far apart. “Nice to see ya, man. Thanks for coming.” Gerard put on his fake smile— the one that Frank could no longer tell if it was real or fake because they’d spent so little time together—and spoke, “I’m happy to come, Frank. You know I think of the girls as my own family.” And he did.
Gerard made awkward conversation with a few of the partygoers, sang happy birthday, and even had a piece of brightly colored, too-sweet cake. Theses are the things that normal people do. Before he knew it—honestly— the party was over and people were leaving. Actually, people had left, for the most part.
Then Gerard was stuck between Frank’s conversation with Jamia. “If you’re going to take us to the airport, who’s gonna watch the girls?” Jamia asked. There was a silence. “Well, I’m sure Gerard wouldn’t mind… would you, Gerard?” Without even considering it, Gerard nodded his head. “No problem.” He has his ulterior motives. And that was settled.
Apparently Jamia was staying with her parents for two weeks. Gerard kind of wanted to know why, but now enough to strike up a conversation with Frank to find out. So while Frank took Jamia and her parents to LAX, Gerard stayed home and watched Lily, Bandit, and Cherry. Which, if he left out some details in his mind, made Gerard… happy.
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