FicWad

I had no intention, nor need to sleep so I sat by Gerard all night, watching his colour change slightly and the two eternal colours reverse themselves outside, signalling what would be the sun rising. What should be the orange-pink dawn breaking over the city of New York, casting colours like the ones only Gerard bore all over, flooding the world with light.

He awoke slowly, grumbling annoyedly at first. I whispered words to him, noticing his eyes were still red from last night. Only hours before he was sobbing in his sleep, tears pooling and soaking into the pillow beside his head. I uttered words of love and condolance, anything I might of said to cheer someone up. There was little happiness in what I said but it had to be said to make any point at all.

"Gerard, get up. C'mon, you can fix yourself starting today." I urged, tempted to hold his hand as it lay on top of the sheets. Today I had some more fight in me, I was determined to be noticed by him, even if all I got was a nod or intentional touch, it could fill me with hope and meaning for months, for years. For however long my form would last until I was perhaps cast back to that meaningless nothingness once more. Just to have said 'hello' and I could go back happy enough.

"What?" Gerard muttered, yawning, rolling onto his back lazily. His hand tensed up and he snatched it away to rest in the mess of his tangled hair.

"Gerard...!" I called, edging closer instinctively, still wary of the searing contact between us.

Gerard moaned, rubbing his temples, eyes cracking open wearily. He sat up further and looked around him with speed contradictory to his half awake appearance. He was still so beautiful, whatever that truly was. His mussed up hair, disarray was nothing compared to the sheer wonder that eminated from the colour Gerard seemed to shed.

"Hey! Can you even hear me?!" I yelled, a new and unexplained hope burning away inside me, teasing and taunting me to confront Gerard now. I had to try, at least then I could just know where my place was, just to watch him.

A smile slid across his face, wide and unnatural. It was a smile though. That first smile of hisI had seen while Gerard was awake. It was something else. Gerard rubbed his eyes, taht smile on the verge of looking faked and sincere at the same time.
"I'm even going crazy now." Gerard said softly to himself, voice croaky and new-sounding to me.