FicWad

A/N: Once again I urge you to ask any questions you have on self-mutilation or this story. I'll even tell you my story if it will help you understand better. I think understanding self-mutilation is very important. I won't get offended by anything you say, well I'll try not to I can't guarantee anything. I won't get offended by the normal assumptions or myths.




Warnings For This Chapter: cutting




Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the plot.




Chapter Eleven




By means of shrewd lies, unremittingly repeated, it is possible to make

people believe that heaven is hell – and hell is heaven. The greater the lie,

the more readily it will be believed.

-Adolph Hitler




/“You're/just a silly little girl, who will forever live in her brother's shadows. You will never have any worth to anyone. No one will ever care for you,” a sixteen-year-old Tom Riddle sneered at eleven-year-old Ginny Weasley.




“You're wrong! My family loves me. My friends-”




Tom laughed cruelly.“Friends? What friends? You have no friends. You have only me. I am and shall always be your only friend in this world, Ginevra.”




“No! I don't want this anymore! Leave me alone, Tom! Leave me-”




/ /Ginny sat straight up in bed, breathing hard. Her nightdress was damp with sweat, as were her bed linens. The memory of the dream stuck with her like glue. It was only seven o'clock in the morning. Her mother would be the only one awake. Ginny knew the washroom would be open, so she decided to get a rare moment of solitude and take a shower to sooth her nerves.




Her tears continued to fall as she made her way to the loo. Ginny turned the tap and took a deep shuddering breath as steam enveloped the room around her. She stepped into the shower and let the scalding water run over her, loosening her tense muscles and soothing her body. The hot water did nothing for her mind, however. Before she knew it, Ginny had seised her razor and was dragging it across her flesh once more.




Blood bubbled to the surface, and flowed down the drain with the water. Ginny smiled in relief and turned the tap off. She stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her small body. She was busy admiring her handiwork when a knock came on the door.




“Someone's in here,” Ginny announced sub-consciously.




“It's me,” Harry answered.




“Just a minute.” Ginny quickly made sure all evidence of bloodshed was gone from the shower, and pressed her wrist to the towel so Harry wouldn't be able to see her self-inflicted abuse.




She opened the door and smiled at her boyfriend. “What're you doing up this early?”




“I had to use the loo. . . .” Harry's voice trailed off when he saw the red stain seeping through the fabric of the towel. “Ginny-”




H/G




Harryawoke in Ron's familiar attic bedroom at the Burrow. He heard Ron snoring in his bed, under the window. Harry grabbed a pair of pyjama bottoms before he descended the stairs to the bathroom. He was surprised to see the door was closed. He knocked and waited for an answer.




“Someone's in here.” Harry heard Ginny's voice come through the door.




He smiled to himself, hoping to catch a moment alone with his girlfriend. “It's me.”




“Just a minute.” Harry heard the shower curtain being pulled open and then closed again. He frowned slightly, but quickly recovered when he heard the door unlock and Ginny swung it open.




Ginny stood before him, dressed only in a flimsy towel. Her hair was wet and her skin bright red from her shower. “What're you doing up this early?”




Harry brought his eyes back up to her face, frowning at the pain in her eyes. “I had to use the loo. . . .” He then noticed how she held her arm, protectively, against her body. Harry sighed, pulling her to him. Ginny began to cry in earnest.




“Why,” was all Harry managed to croak out.




“T-T-Tom. . . .” Ginny stammered, unable to continue.




Harry scooped Ginny into his arms and carried her out of the room. She continued to cry against his chest, even when he knelt down to lay her on her bed.




“Shh.” Harry tried to sooth her. “You'll wake Hermione.”




Ginny tried to stifle her sobs, unsuccessfully. She pulled her pillow into her lap and buried her face in it. Harry rubbed her back before he spoke again.




“Stay here. I'll be right back.” He kissed the top of her head and left the room, as quietly and as quickly as he could.




Hermione heard the click of the door open and close. She sat up in confusion. Her eyes widened when she saw Ginny curled up in the fetal position, a towel wrapped tightly around her body. She was trying to muffle her cries with her pillow.




“Ginny?” She looked up in alarm when she heard Hermione's voice from across the room.




“G-go back to sleep, Hermione. I'm f-fine,” Ginny stammered.




“What's wrong?” Hermione ignored her. She was across the room in aflash, and had pulled her best friend into her arms before Ginny knew what was happening.




Ginny began to cry harder. “N-nothing's wrong.”




“Then why are you crying?” Hermione pulled back so she could look at the smaller girl.




“I j-just had a b-bad dream is all,” Ginny replied unconvincingly.




Ginny's reply didn't quite register in Hermione's brain. She had noticed the area of the towel where Ginny's left arm was covered was blood soaked.




“Ginny, what happened to your arm?” Hermione gently tried to pull Ginny's arm back to see what had happened.




“Nothing!” Ginny tugged her arm back and pushed it harder against the towel. The sudden movement caused her wound to brush against the rough cotton. She hissed in pain, and quickly scrambled to the other side of the bed to get away from Hermione.




“Ginny?” Hermione asked in concern. “You're bleeding.”




“I'm fine, Hermione! Just leave me alone!” Ginny raised her voice in terror. She had no clue what Hermione would do if she found out that she cut herself.




Hermione, however, was very persistent. She grabbed Ginny's arm and wrenched it away from the towel, gasping in surprise when she saw the damage Ginny had caused herself. “You did this, didn't you? Ginny, why?”




At that moment the door opened and Harry entered the room, carrying the first-aid supplies from the other night.




“I'm back, Gin,” he whispered. Harry turned around after he closed the door and jumped in surprise. “Hermione! Wh-what are you doing? You should be asleep.”




Hermione spun around to face Harry. “You knew! You knew all along, and you never told me!”




“It wasn't his business to tell, Hermione,” Ginny protested.




“You knew she was doing this to herself, and you allowed it?” Hermione stood up and walked over to Harry. “How could you, Harry? How could you?”




Before Harry could react, Hermione slapped him. Harry raised his hand to his cheek, stunned into silence. Once he recovered, he turned to Hermione. “Ginny made me promise not to tell anyone. I've been trying to help her. I've been taking care of her . . . when she lets me. . . .”




“Well, it's obviously not enough, is it? I'm going to go tell Mrs. Weasley right this instant!” Hermione tried to get around Harry, who was blocking the door.




“No!” both Harry and Ginny exclaimed.




“I don't want anyone knowing, Hermione. Not Ron, Bill, Charlie, especially not Mum or Dad. Harry's been taking care of me. It's bad enough that he knows, and now you do too.” Ginny was alarmed when she suddenly realised her secret had been revealed, once again.




“Please, Hermione . . . you can't tell anyone. They'd send Ginny away. Neither one of us could deal with that,” Harry pleaded.




Hermione looked at them both and sighed. “Fine. I won't tell anyone . . . for now.”




Ginny visibly relaxed. Harry whispered his thanks to Hermione before he went around her and began to bandage Ginny's newest wound.




“When you were in the Hospital Wing that time . . . you did that, didn't you? And the potion's accident. There wasn't any potion, or any accident.” Hermione sat down on her bed across from Ginny's.




“I never meant for things to go that far, the day I ended up in the Hospital Wing. I saw Cho attacking Harry in the Owlery and overreacted. If Harry hadn't come after me, I would've died. I know that. I never meant for things to get that bad.” Ginny held up her arm so Harry could tape the bandage together, and leaned her head against his chest once he was done. “And no, there wasn't any potions accident. I never went to Madam Pomfrey and had her bandage it, either. I couldn't very well explain what had happened, could I?Harry bandaged my wounds that same night.”




“I can't believe you'd do this, Ginny. It just doesn't make any sense,” Hermione said.




“I don't want your pity, or your sympathy, Hermione. Just try to understand this: Emotional pain is much worse than physical pain. Physical pain you can treat, emotional pain you can never forget, unless you erase it with the physical.” Ginny looked at Hermione as she said this.




Hermione thought this through and finally nodded. “I won't tell anyone for now, but if it gets worse, I will.” With that, Hermione left the room.




“I'm so sorry, Ginny. I knew she was suspicious, but . . . I never thought she would wake up during this.” Harry lowered his head to hers and breathed in her scent: cinnamon and vanilla.




“What do you mean 'she was suspicious?'” Ginny suddenly looked at him in alarm.




“She stopped me in the hall last night and asked to speak to me in private. We went out to the garden and she asked what was wrong with you, said something seemed off. I told her I didn't know anything. She said she was going to ask you about it, but I thought I had managed to convince her not to . . . at least for then.” Harry shook his head sadly. “I'm sorry, Ginny.”




“It's not your fault, Harry. If I hadn't done it . . .” Ginny's voice trailed off. Her lower lip trembled.




“Stop that. Let's not dwell on this. Your mum should be starting breakfast by now. Let's go down and eat, then we can find something to do today.” Harry went to Ginny's chest of drawers and pulled out apurple Weasley sweater and a pair of jeans. He tossed them at Ginny, along with matching blue undergarments. “Get dressed. I'll wait out in the hall.” Harry turned to leave.




“Harry,” Ginny called out, before he opened the door.




“Yeah?” He turned back around.




“Thank you. For everything.” Ginny managed to smile at him weakly.




“You're welcome. Now get dressed so we can eat.” He smiled at her before he left the room, closing the door behind him.