FicWad

Love is a strange thing, I mean I never really got it, my parents always argued, I never saw love between them, just anger and pain that seemed to reflect in their faces towards each other. They were once in love, they say they still love each other but five years on, three years of divorce, my parents have made separate paths, making sure they were as far as possible away from each other. My dad, he works away a lot, I rarely see him, it’s like a once in a blue moon visit, he still thinks I’m that little kid that would think Santa was real or that the tooth fairy really left money under my pillow, he wouldn’t make good conversation, he would usually just pat my shoulder or scruff my hair up with a smile on his face trying to make the effort, it was hard for him, I mean we were never close, he was just there, and I was more close to my mom. My mom is the hard working, strong minded worker, whom I love. I don’t think I could ever say a bad word about her, I may huff and puff about the chorus that she gives me but I think that’s about it.
Love is in different things, I mean there is family love, friendship love, romantic love, there is so many, the different emotions that people hold for one another, the strange emotions that I still have yet to feel. I don’t want to though, I mean love is good but it can be bad too right? Breaking your heart, feeling like your nothing, just a bottomless pit of misery.

I sound like such a depressor; I don’t mean to come across that way, I just… I don’t know feel down about it all, I mean I’m not close to anyone, I have the odd few friends, I’ve never had a lover, is it strange? To be a eighteen year old that still hasn’t even had that first time experience of love, well if you can call it that, it’s more like a crush, a kiss and a cuddle down at the swings in the park, that’s what we think of when we are younger, we don’t think about the hurt behind it all, we don’t think about the hours of tears that make our eyes sore, we don’t think about the days of heart break.

This is why I stay away from it, I don’t want to stupid heart break, I don’t want the feeling of hurt and abuse, I mean lots of relationships turn out good but I always have this cloud sitting over me making me see it in a bad way. I just don’t want to end up like my mom and dad, I don’t want to be like that.

~~~~~~

I stood at the checkout, my dead end job, seeming different faces come in and out of this shop all the time, it was just a store, but it wasn’t exactly exciting, I only did it to get cash to buy my own stuff with. I stood there, my chin resting in my right hand, sighing the odd few times, trying to make the day go by when I’d finally be free to go home and do something I wanted to do. I wanted the time to move quicker, it seemed to drag slower for me, as if it was doing it porously for me, the min hand slowly ticking around the clock, the hour hand lazily sitting there, no hope of it moving while I was watching it.
“Dude you look like death,” Ray said as he walked over casually to me.
“I feel it, god I want time to go quicker,” I sighed.
“I know, but just keep yourself busy and it will make it seem like it’s flying,” he said. I gave him a un convinced look.
“Don’t look at me like that Frank, I’m just trying to help,” he said.
“I know, sorry, it’s just, I don’t know,” I sighed again, trying to think about what I could do instead of standing around. Suddenly the door opened.
“Well you can serve, but then try find something ad least,” he said as he went back to stacking shelves. I started messing around my with nails, they were so short, I seem to bite them a lot when I am bored or nervous, but it’s a good thing, I can play guitar I guess. But it’s still one of those bad habits that I can’t seem to get out of.
I heard a slight cough, I glanced up, but I felt as if I was shot down by beauty.
There stood a guy, a pale geek god like statue kind of guy, his raven black un straightened hair that just brushed his shoulders, his hazel orbs that looked so delicious and dreamy, and the kind that you could get lost into for hours on end. His small nose that looked kind of cute, his small pink lips, he was handsome, the kind that male models would die for, the perfect gorgeous look that made you forget everything that was happening around you and just concentrate on him, nothing else just him.
“Just a pack of Marlboro red cigarettes,” he said. I looked at him, he seemed in a hurry to get in and out of this shop as soon as possible. I nodded and quickly turned to the shelves of cigarettes, the endless cancer sticks waiting to be smoked, I guess we have something in common though, smoking the same cigarettes, oh it must be fate, like a hole in the head. I grabbed a pack of the cigarettes and turned back towards him, placing the cigarettes down on the counter. I told him how much and he handed me the money, his fingertips ghosted over my skin making it feel like an electric spark.
“Thanks,” he said, he turned away and walked out, I suddenly felt as if I had been holding my breath all this time, as if I needed air to breath.
“Ray!” I yelled.
“Yeah?” I asked from somewhere.
“Mind if I quick go for a smoke?” I asked.
“Be quick,” he said. I grabbed my cigarettes and rushed out the door. Going to my perfect spot, I opened up the boxer, slipping out on of the cancer sticks and putting it into my parted lips. I searched deep into my pockets for my lighter, no luck, I must of left it at home again. I groaned as I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, taking the unused cigarette from my mouth.
“Need a lighter?” someone asked, I turned and looked, it was that guy, the handsome one.
I nodded, he gave me his lighter and took a drag from his cigarette. God he even looked sexy just smoking. I put my cigarette back into my lips, flicked the lighter a few times with that little sparking noise and then light up my cigarette, taking a drag from it as the toxic fumes filling my lungs.
I handed back his lighter.
“Thanks,” I said after taking my cigarette out of my lips.
“No problem,” he said before putting the cigarette back into his lips. We stayed like this, both of us not saying anything but just smoking. He was finished before me, flicking the end on the floor then digging through his pockets for his car keys.
“Well nice meeting you Frank,” he said.
“How do you know my name?” I asked looking confused yet worried. Was he some stalker or something?
He chuckled.
“Your name badge,” he said. I looked down at the name badge on my work outfit, the small simple capital letter ‘FRANK’.
“Oh,” I muttered, he chuckled again.
“Well, I haven’t got a name badge, I’m Gerard,” he said, a smile spread across his beautiful face.
“G-Gerard,” I stated, to see if I had it correct.
“Yes, I guess I’ll see you around,” he said.
I looked at him confused.
“If I need more cigarettes,” he said. I nodded.
“Well Bye Frank,” he said as he walked away.
“Bye,” I said.



I got bored, decided I wanted to write vampire ones, you know the whole slash, sex, violence, and blood vampire thing, anyway hope you like, please comment! Oh this will be a slash, I don’t seem to write PG’s so if you don’t like slash don’t read, I would hate anyone to read something they didn’t like. Hope you like it!