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Categories > Books > Harry Potter > From the Diary of Severus- Year One

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• From the Diary of Severus- Year One

  (#) theVerb 2010-11-28

  
  1) "... half-blood, or with or wizard..." Clearly, you meant "witch"
  2) "... let me tell you this- J have recently been..." I'm going to go out on a limb and say you were going for "I"
  3) "... that the next seven years a Hogwarts will..." you missed a "t" there
  
  You used three wrong words in an eighty-five word document? That tells me you didn't even read this over before you posted it. However, the first mistake (the "with" instead of "witch") could be easily explained away: Snape has a lisp. Of course the story would read like this if that were the case:
  
  Hello. My name is Theveruth. I am eleven yearth old, and will thoon be leaving. Where am I going? Well, dear reader, be you muggle, half-blood, or with or withard, let me tell you thith- I have rethently been athepted into Hogwartth Thchool of Withcraft and Withardry. I am a withard. I have thtarted thith journal to log my 'adventureth,' both at thchool and at home. I hope that the next theven yearth at Hogwartth will be ath wonderful ath my father hath thaid...
  
  I hope this is an AU fic, otherwise you have an error in regards to Snape's father – he was not a wizard and never attended Hogwarts according to canon.
  
  

  Author's response

  Thank you for the help. I posted this at 3 in the morning and you're right, I didn't check it over. I was trying to follow Severus' life as closely as possible, but made a slight change with his father. And I never said that his father WENT to Hogwarts, just that he held the school in high esteem.
  
  Also, in the books, Severus is the Half-Blood Prince. His mother was a witch with the maiden name Prince, which is how I meant for the story to play out. It was 3 am. People make mistakes.

• From the Diary of Severus- Year One

  (#) Richardc269 2010-11-29

  And you do realize that Snape's also a child abuser, yes? Because that's what he is; a child abuser. He turns into one because his muggle father abuses him, and because of some childish, stupid grudge against James, he lets both James and Lily die. Yeah...great guy. Dunno why you even like the asshole, or want to even follow his life in the first place.
  
  Not even gonna read your story simply because your chapters are too short. Write longer ones. Your whole story is only 300+ words and 3 chapters. I could write that in a single chapter, plus more. It's really annoying when people are writing chapters as short as yours. Plus I'm not reading your story because Snape's a child abuser. Oh well. Better luck writing a different story.

  Author's response

  Snape isn't a child abuser. He lived Lily. When she died, it tore him apart. And he helped keep Harry alive throughout everything, from the Quidditch game with the dementors to his murder at the hands of Nagini. He was on their side the whole time, and was the most self-less person in the series, going without a LIFE to amend his wrongs with Lily and James. He played the part to make the students think he was evil so Voldemort wouldn't realize what he really was.
  
  And I wrote short chapters because there are going to be hundreds of them, and because Sevvy is an eleven year old at the time. If I was eleven, I wouldn't write a novel every day in my journal. Just sayin

• From the Diary of Severus- Year One

  (#) Richardc269 2010-11-30

  Yes, Snape is a child abuser. He insults 11-17 year olds. That's called child abuse. All through Harry's 6 years of schooling, he's always insulted Harry; calling him arrogant, etc. That's child abuse. He's also ruined countless students who wanted to become proficient in the art, because he bullies his students. That's child abuse. He insults Hermione, calls her a "know-it-all", that's also child abuse. Maybe you ought to go read a law-book based on those facts. Any psychologist/psychiatrist will tell you the same thing, as a lot of parents.
  
  Snape doesn't care about James, he held a 10+ year old grudge simply because he was bullied in school, and passed that grudge onto an 11 year old child simply because he could. If Snape honestly wanted to repent, he wouldn't have acted the way he did towards children (and not just Harry alone). Neville was terrified of Snape the entire time he was in school. That's also child abuse. Might want to re-think of what you think "child abuse" actually means.

• From the Diary of Severus- Year One

  (#) Balquao 2010-12-09

  claps for Richard Precisely Snape is a mean-spirited, bitter asshat with delusions of adequacy. Your story totally sucks donkey balls, by the way.

• From the Diary of Severus- Year One

  (#) CyanideSunlight 2011-01-28

  ^ Don't mind them. They're stupid trolls with nothing better to do then correct someone that has the courage to write something for everyone to see. Though some of the information was incorrect, it was nicely written.
  ~Gives cookies~

  Author's response

  Well, thank you my dear. I am considering writing more, I just have to find my notebook..
  
  And I realize that the information was wrong. It has now been two years since I have read Severus's history, and the minute details have slipped my mind. I am considering editing these chapters and writing more, though to be honest I had given up until now. Thank you.
  
  YAY MORE COOKIES X3
  
  pounces on cookies

• From the Diary of Severus- Year One

  (#) CyanideSunlight 2011-01-28

  XDD No problem~~
  Good luck with this~

• From the Diary of Severus- Year One

  (#) MyNameOkay 2011-02-06

  im not picking sides.. this really wasn't a good start to a story BUT that doesn't mean people have to bash on you. If I notice grammar or spelling mistakes i wont list them all out to you. And really? i dont know anything about Harry Potter but i can tell you (and those who reveiwed) that it's a fictional story that can be inturpretted(sp?) anyway the writer chooses, so MEH! :)
  
  
  MNO

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